adversity

[Guest guest]

Dear Lee,

"I think that adversity really shows a person's true colors. It sounds like a cliché but it is true. When someone is confronted with a challenge, do they run from it? Do they try to solve it or live with it? Do they embrace it or fight it? Do they crawl in a hole and die?"

Not just their true colours... it shows their true loved ones also. Look at how our friends/family have reacted to our own adversity.

xox A.

[Guest guest]

Hey, everyone!!

, you recently wrote a piece on having focuses for the week and

mentioned changing habits and refocusing towards the program during difficult

days...here's my contribution!

Today I woke up absolutely lethargic for NO reason...granted grad school

has me run down much of the time, but I've been home on vacation for five

days now and slept 11 hours last night! Needless to say, cardio was NOT my

idea of a fun way to spend my afternoon when I felt tired, fatiqued, and just

blah...also, I had already had two meals and thought, what's the point?

Knowing I have a 9 hour drive ahead of me tomorrow to go back to Ft

Lauderdale, I knew that I had to get a workout in today.I felt sad about

having to leave for Florida again tomorrow and didn't feel like doing a thing.

BUT, I waited 3 hours, took a BetaLean, headed to the gym, and got an extra

long cardio in this afternoon. I even did the boot camp abs (with the active

rests!) It felt great to overcome that hurdle today. Interestly enough, I

felt a little brighter afterwards, too.

A seemingly small victory felt like a great achievement for me today! I

hope everyone has a great weekend! (SC)

[Guest guest]

Thank you , Thank you , Thank you........for that beautiful story!!! It was

exactly what I needed to hear!!! This past week has been so trying for me,

and this story certainly picked up my spirits and gave me strength. I quit

my job 1 year ago, in order to take care of my beautiful Great Nephew, Gavin,

age 2 (DS). I now make my living selling things on the internet (Ebay). It

was fun doing it part time, but very difficult to make a living off of it

full-time. I was a Flight Attendant for 8 years. So quitting meant giving up

financial security, health benefits, life benefits, 401K and of course free

travel : ) At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do, since my

insides cringed everytime I thought of Gavin going to a babysitter. I felt we

needed a teacher for Gavin , not a babysitter. He is the biggest blessing in

my life, and I thank God for him everyday. But......I'm now starting to

really regret my decision. Although I love teaching him and relishing in his

accomplishments, financially , I don't think things could be any worse than

they are. This past week as been an emotional roller coaster for me, and I

just wanted to let you know how this story helped!!!!! I only have 1 year to

go before Gavin goes to preschool, so if you could post something like this

once a week, I think I'll make it !!! LOL And I do hope to be coffee!!!

Finely ground gourmet coffee, not instant!!!! Thanks again for sharing this.

Traci Waltz Great Aunt to Gavin, age 2 (DS)

[Guest guest]

Thank you , Thank you , Thank you........for that beautiful story!!! It was

exactly what I needed to hear!!! This past week has been so trying for me,

and this story certainly picked up my spirits and gave me strength. I quit

my job 1 year ago, in order to take care of my beautiful Great Nephew, Gavin,

age 2 (DS). I now make my living selling things on the internet (Ebay). It

was fun doing it part time, but very difficult to make a living off of it

full-time. I was a Flight Attendant for 8 years. So quitting meant giving up

financial security, health benefits, life benefits, 401K and of course free

travel : ) At the time, it seemed like the right thing to do, since my

insides cringed everytime I thought of Gavin going to a babysitter. I felt we

needed a teacher for Gavin , not a babysitter. He is the biggest blessing in

my life, and I thank God for him everyday. But......I'm now starting to

really regret my decision. Although I love teaching him and relishing in his

accomplishments, financially , I don't think things could be any worse than

they are. This past week as been an emotional roller coaster for me, and I

just wanted to let you know how this story helped!!!!! I only have 1 year to

go before Gavin goes to preschool, so if you could post something like this

once a week, I think I'll make it !!! LOL And I do hope to be coffee!!!

Finely ground gourmet coffee, not instant!!!! Thanks again for sharing this.

Traci Waltz Great Aunt to Gavin, age 2 (DS)

[Guest guest]

That message is so inspiring (re:the carrots, eggs, and coffee beans). This

summer I have been reevaluating myself. I know for a fact that

dissatisfaction brings about a change if change doesn't occur, then one must

not be very dissatisfied. I have also learned that struggle is ordain. If

you're not struggling you're not livin'. I realized life is not so bad even

with all the trials and tribulations we have been through, the ones we are

going through and the ones yet to come (especially with new born on the way).

It is comforting in knowing that KING Hassan and I are survivors even

during the times we don't know where our strength comes from and we're ready

to through in the towels. The power of faith and prayer are so strong.

-Rukiyah single mom to Hassan 4(ds) and unborn

[Guest guest]

That message is so inspiring (re:the carrots, eggs, and coffee beans). This

summer I have been reevaluating myself. I know for a fact that

dissatisfaction brings about a change if change doesn't occur, then one must

not be very dissatisfied. I have also learned that struggle is ordain. If

you're not struggling you're not livin'. I realized life is not so bad even

with all the trials and tribulations we have been through, the ones we are

going through and the ones yet to come (especially with new born on the way).

It is comforting in knowing that KING Hassan and I are survivors even

during the times we don't know where our strength comes from and we're ready

to through in the towels. The power of faith and prayer are so strong.

-Rukiyah single mom to Hassan 4(ds) and unborn

[Guest guest]

I really appreciated this too....since the end of my relationship a year and

a half ago I have learned such lessons in accepting support....and my

support has come NOT from my biological family but from the gentle people

around me..I appreciate all of those people AND this list which has been a

wonderful support in it's own way too... ( NDA except 7itis, and

Meghan 4.11 who happens to have DS).

[Guest guest]

I really appreciated this too....since the end of my relationship a year and

a half ago I have learned such lessons in accepting support....and my

support has come NOT from my biological family but from the gentle people

around me..I appreciate all of those people AND this list which has been a

wonderful support in it's own way too... ( NDA except 7itis, and

Meghan 4.11 who happens to have DS).

[Guest guest]

Jana, my Granny died of Alzheimers a year ago. I adored her, but

near the end, it was best that she went. It's funny, because Alz.

patients are usually VERY physically healthy and she was no

exception. We thought she was going to live for a long time. She

was always really spunky and vivacious before she was literally

struck with the disease (totally runs in my family, we're going to

have to open a plantation for my father's generation!).

Her boyfriend/caretaker died six months before she did. Everyday,

she would talk about him dying and say things like 'Why did he say he

would worry about me when he was in the hospital?'. She didn't even

know she was sick, really. My father moved in with her and cared for

her a few months after Hank passed, but they had to put her in a care

facility because things just got too hard and my dad had a

marriage/life to pursue as well.

She died two weeks after entering the care facility, totally

unexpectedly, in her sleep. I think she just decided it was time to

go. When I found out, it just wasn't a shock. To tell you the

truth, I've only cried about it once and not for very long. I think

when someone with Alz. dies...you've said your goodbyes long before.

I am sad about it alot, but I know it was for the best. I'm going to

visit her grave soon and I think that will be very emotional.

On the flip side, she still had a great sense of humor...and when she

was 'out of it' she would do really funny things (she would do other

things which weren't funny, but we didn't pay attention to those).

When my dad was taking care of her, she was often delusional. My dad

has a weird sense of humor (and had to have a better one when caring

for her) and didn't really mind being called a 'shithead' when the

mail didn't arrive on time...whatever. One day, she was out on her

balcony and there was a guy crossing the street in a wheelchair. My

dad was inside the apt. and heard her yelling 'Polio!' over and over

again. He was mortified to see this man in a wheelchair and my

granny screaming this word at him. He asked 'Mom, why are you saying

that to him?'...to which she responded 'That's his name, turd!'...his

name was JULIO. She was just a bit confused. Anyway, we all had a

bit of a laugh at that one.

It sounds like you've found some peace with your grandmother's death,

which is all we can do. I think we'll always miss them, part of our

history is gone and they have so many keys to unlocking our pasts

that aren't available to us now. That generation is so special and

it's sad to see it going.

Love and hugs to you!

Astra

[Guest guest]

Astra:

Ah! A kindred soul! It was SUCH a terrible disease, ugh. I quit my

job in Dec. 2000 to care for her. My grandpa was physically not able

to take care of her, but he was sharp as a tack. So myself and 2

other women took care of her so he could take it easy (although he

never did!)

I ADORED my grandparents. My grandma was healthy too, except for the

Alzheimer's, and my grandpa had everything wrong with him, skin and

throat cancer, open heart surgery, you name it. Every morning they

would walk in the kitchen hand in hand, they were so in love. It was

amazing. She still called him her 'sweetpea' up until the end.

He died in February, and that's when it all changed. My mother was

devastated. She tried to take care of her 24/7 but it was impossible.

She put her in a nursing home, then took her out a week later. 3

weeks after that, after almost losing her mind, she put her back in.

Of course, within a week my grandmother had fallen out of bed and

broken her hip. (no guilt there for my mom eh!!) That was 3 weeks

ago, and last week we had a big, HUGE party for her birthday. Then

Monday she died, which to me was the biggest blessing.

You're right, when I used to watch my grandma she only remembered me

as a little girl, so when I tried to get her dressed or get her to do

something she didn't like (like EAT!!) she would say, " Hey, little

girl, does your mommy know you're doing this to an old lady like

me? " I'd laugh, 'cause that is all you can do. She NEVER said any

dirty word in my life, but by the end, 'shithead' was pretty much my

given name!!

Today was certainly bittersweet. I miss them both, it's certainly an

end of an era, but I'm so glad they are together again.

My mom had a brunch today and we all toasted their lives together. It

was wonderful.

Anyway, I'm glad to know someone else who has shared this experience.

I have been thinking about volunteering at our local Alzheimer's

Association chapter. I know I can certainly share the knowledge I

have on how to deal with trying to get a sweater on your 80-year-old

grandma without losing an eye!!

thanks for letting me share, it was nice to hear your story as well.

Jana

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/6/2002 8:38:18 PM Eastern Standard Time,

jana5522@... writes:

> I quit my

> job in Dec. 2000 to care for her. My grandpa was physically not

Jana, the world needs more people like you! a

[Guest guest]

>

> > I quit my

> > job in Dec. 2000 to care for her. My grandpa was physically not

>

> Jana, the world needs more people like you! a

No, no, no...if there were more of me, Rick Springfield would still

be the top rock star and SpongeBob Squarepants would be the only TV

show on all the time!!!

(But thanks for the compliment, it made my day!!)

Jana

[Guest guest]

I think that you are dealing with two issues here

-your son's physical conditions which may/may not be cancer. But even if not,

may become life-threatening if the symptoms are as you describe - and the only

way to find out is by seeking medical help.

-your son's psychology.

a/ Physical

He needs medical attention - is it not possible to get a doctor to see him

or somehow to get him hospitalized and checked? I would start by going to

his doctor first, and if that does not work, then going to a hospital and

seeking advice on what the options are and how to go about them. Ask for the

cancer unit and chat through with them.

b/ psychological

Please do try to give him my earlier message - read it to him, or just leave

it wit him - and see if he will absorb a change without being forced. It

would be far better him doing something of his own volition. Maybe even get

a priest in to see him or a psychologist.

Sometimes you have to understand that you are not able to do things yourself

- you need help. YOU need help with this. HE is responsible for his actions.

Love and Healing

Ian

From: " "

Subject: Re: making for success in adversity

.... my son is the absolute most negative person I have ever met. I was just

trying to find out if there was a chance he may not have cancer at all but some

stange combination of other conditions that give similar symptoms. If I cannot

convince him that there is a pretty good chance of him being wrong in his

self-diagnosis I can't see him even trying to get any help. ...do I continue to

help him slowly kill himself or do I push him to the point where he feels he has

no recourse but to end his life immediatly? ...I know it is hard for people

fighting so hard to survive to understand someone that really doesn't want to

live very badly. It is almost impossible for me to appeal to him to 'look on the

bright side' as he doesn't see much positive (I don't either for that matter).

If it weren't for his kids there is a pretty good chance neither he nor I would

still be here.