Re: mental/emotional effects/philosophical question

[Guest guest]

Hi all,

I haven't posted in a while, but these posts struck a chord.

Do you remember an episode of Star Trek in the sixties where Captain Kirk is

divided into two; a " nice " docile Kirk and a mean, aggressive one?

That's kind of what Testosterone therapy has done, at least to me.

While untreated, I was a " nice " young man; calm, responsible, submissive,

intellectual and very religious (as sort of a " security blanket.) " On the

other hand, I was depressed, negative, morose, overly-sensitive, cynical and

judgmental.

When treated, I became, in a word, ANGRY.

I was mad that I had this condition at all, that my family ignored it, the

medical profession missed it and God didn't seem to care either. (Though I

know better). I had missed my adolescence years, with all of it's comradery,

exploration, experimentation and playful rebellion. I had gone, essentially

from

twelve years old to my mid-twenties in a matter of months, and was now

expected to be, physically and emotionally, a responsible adult.

It didn't work real well. At age 25, I had wandered through my high school

and college years; finally realizing that my education had been completely

contrary to my talents and interests. By the time T. therapy helped me become

somewhat independent and self-sufficient, I was saddled with debt and

responsibility. While my high school classmates became engineers, lawyers and

journalists, I held a succession of silly jobs: limo driver, carpet cleaner,

hospital janitor. Finally, I ended up being a Nuclear Medicine Technologist in

a

hospital; a good-paying job, but far from my interests, goals or strengths.

So yes, hypogonadism and T. therapy have far reaching emotional,

psychological, spiritual, whatever-you-want-to-call-them effects.

In many ways, at age 50 and two marriages later, I am still that frustrated

teenager; just wanting to fool around with the guys after school...but the guys

have better things to do.

In some ways, I wonder if I would have been better off without T.

treatment...but like T. Kirk, it was necessary for me to have both the

docile

side...and the agressive side, together in one body. Now, if they could only

get

along a little better, I would be fine!

Dean in Cincy

DHERBERT53@...

[Guest guest]

If you're not happy, maybe you need to adjust your dose upwards. No

point in worrying about the past. The average life span a couple

hundred years ago was not much over 30. You've probably got at least

that many more years in you, a whole lifetime! Enjoy the road ahead,

don't lament on the past. It's never too late to do what you want in

life.

Armyguy

> Hi all,

>

> I haven't posted in a while, but these posts struck a chord.

>

> Do you remember an episode of Star Trek in the sixties where

Captain Kirk is

> divided into two; a " nice " docile Kirk and a mean, aggressive one?

>

> That's kind of what Testosterone therapy has done, at least to

me.

>

> While untreated, I was a " nice " young man; calm, responsible,

submissive,

> intellectual and very religious (as sort of a " security

blanket.) " On the

> other hand, I was depressed, negative, morose, overly-sensitive,

cynical and

> judgmental.

>

> When treated, I became, in a word, ANGRY.

>

> I was mad that I had this condition at all, that my family

ignored it, the

> medical profession missed it and God didn't seem to care either.

(Though I

> know better). I had missed my adolescence years, with all of it's

comradery,

> exploration, experimentation and playful rebellion. I had gone,

essentially from

> twelve years old to my mid-twenties in a matter of months, and was

now

> expected to be, physically and emotionally, a responsible adult.

>

> It didn't work real well. At age 25, I had wandered through my

high school

> and college years; finally realizing that my education had been

completely

> contrary to my talents and interests. By the time T. therapy

helped me become

> somewhat independent and self-sufficient, I was saddled with debt

and

> responsibility. While my high school classmates became engineers,

lawyers and

> journalists, I held a succession of silly jobs: limo driver,

carpet cleaner,

> hospital janitor. Finally, I ended up being a Nuclear Medicine

Technologist in a

> hospital; a good-paying job, but far from my interests, goals or

strengths.

>

> So yes, hypogonadism and T. therapy have far reaching emotional,

> psychological, spiritual, whatever-you-want-to-call-them effects.

>

> In many ways, at age 50 and two marriages later, I am still that

frustrated

> teenager; just wanting to fool around with the guys after

school...but the guys

> have better things to do.

>

> In some ways, I wonder if I would have been better off without T.

> treatment...but like T. Kirk, it was necessary for me to

have both the docile

> side...and the agressive side, together in one body. Now, if they

could only get

> along a little better, I would be fine!

>

> Dean in Cincy

> DHERBERT53@a...

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Someone said when you only have a hammer for a tool then everything

needs a hammer to fix it.

The point is T levels are not the only thing that happens in the

chaotic life of a teenager. Relationships between male friends are not

usually dependent on T levels. Horniness can even get you in trouble

from time to time.

Proper skills testing in highschool is rarely done well and the level

of T probably doesn't move our interest from art or basket weaving to

atomic scientist. Math and science is not a male only field because of

T levels.

Soo much of our future is dependent on our background and experiences.

Parents can't even be blamed because they didn't know better how to

send us off to the right colleges.

Willingness to take on the late night study required to get good

grades somehow gets done by girls as well.

It really is impossible for us to see clearly how things could have

been different. My son blames me for his lack of good relationships

with girls because I didn't let him have the family car for dating in

high school.

Our lives are chaotic at best.

ernestnolan

> Hi all,

>

> I haven't posted in a while, but these posts struck a chord.

>

> Do you remember an episode of Star Trek in the sixties where Captain

Kirk is

> divided into two; a " nice " docile Kirk and a mean, aggressive one?

>

> That's kind of what Testosterone therapy has done, at least to me.

>

> While untreated, I was a " nice " young man; calm, responsible,

submissive,

> intellectual and very religious (as sort of a " security blanket.) "

On the

> other hand, I was depressed, negative, morose, overly-sensitive,

cynical and

> judgmental.

>

> When treated, I became, in a word, ANGRY.

>

> I was mad that I had this condition at all, that my family ignored

it, the

> medical profession missed it and God didn't seem to care either.

(Though I

> know better). I had missed my adolescence years, with all of it's

comradery,

> exploration, experimentation and playful rebellion. I had gone,

essentially from

> twelve years old to my mid-twenties in a matter of months, and was now

> expected to be, physically and emotionally, a responsible adult.

>

> It didn't work real well. At age 25, I had wandered through my

high school

> and college years; finally realizing that my education had been

completely

> contrary to my talents and interests. By the time T. therapy helped

me become

> somewhat independent and self-sufficient, I was saddled with debt and

> responsibility. While my high school classmates became engineers,

lawyers and

> journalists, I held a succession of silly jobs: limo driver,

carpet cleaner,

> hospital janitor. Finally, I ended up being a Nuclear Medicine

Technologist in a

> hospital; a good-paying job, but far from my interests, goals or

strengths.

>

> So yes, hypogonadism and T. therapy have far reaching emotional,

> psychological, spiritual, whatever-you-want-to-call-them effects.

>

> In many ways, at age 50 and two marriages later, I am still that

frustrated

> teenager; just wanting to fool around with the guys after

school...but the guys

> have better things to do.

>

> In some ways, I wonder if I would have been better off without T.

> treatment...but like T. Kirk, it was necessary for me to have

both the docile

> side...and the agressive side, together in one body. Now, if they

could only get

> along a little better, I would be fine!

>

> Dean in Cincy

> DHERBERT53@a...

>

>

>