Visualization

[Guest guest]

Hi Janie

I really enjoyed your e-mail and agree one hundred percent.

When I refer to lifestyle changes, this re-programming is what I mean. Once

upon a time I could not say " NO " . If it was my siblings, parents, friends,

or boss requests, No was not in my vocabulary. Then I ended up doing a full

days work, plus work for the family or friends. If PA has taught me

anything, it have taught me that I need time for me. However I had to find

me first, because I never had the time to sort out who Gillian was? An

employee, friend, sister, Aunt, daughter, Godmother, decorator, gardener,

cook, laundry maid, housemaid, organiser, and car mechanic. However that was

not me! Those were roles!

Jobs had to be done, so they were done, not that I had enough hours in the

day. And if I did not have enough hours then, how could I hope to find me?

One thing you have with PA, a lot of 'time'. I could not hope to take on

jobs from the past and give them my undivided attention. Now I have the

time, I hope I have used it wisely to find out who I am!

The subconscious is an extremely powerful weapon. It enjoys as you correctly

state, 'slip back' or circles. If you allow it to run in circles, well in my

opinion you never really achieve anything, let alone learn by past mistakes.

We jump, judge and assume, all because our subconscious feels this is the

right attitude. It feels safe and protected. Breaking that circle is

probably the hardest thing I have achieved in my life. Yet when I am

unaware, I still find myself slipping back!

A blood test will come back more abnormal than usual and I 'automatically

assume' the worst possible scenario! Panic ensues until I realise what is

going on. Then I stop, apply some logic and change thought patterns.

Unusually abnormal does not always mean BAD. It could actually mean GOOD,

depending on what the original baseline was!

Likewise a new pain and I automatically assume the arthritis is spreading!

This pain usually has a very rational explanation, if I just retrace my

steps for the previous twenty four hours.

New symptoms appear like a bowel problem and my mind automatically refers to

the Evening Primrose Oil, while ignoring the bar of chocolate I devoured

while watching a late night film.

I think my motto is, think and never jump to conclusions or assumptions. So

far I have survived two years and six month without being hospitalised for

PA symptoms. Prior to this lifestyle change I was admitted twice a year on a

regular basis.

Yes the key for control of my PA is my subconscious. It is for ever placing

irrational hurdles in my path. " I am off to walk to the nearest shop, with

Hermes, because that is as far as I know I can make it! " Three miles later

and I think " Got you! You tried to trick me but did not get away with it! "

However if I thought, " Right three miles here we come " , my subconscious

would start placing doubts in my mind. " Cannot walk that far, because the

knee will seize, the back would rebel and I will be in bed all day

tomorrow! "

These are but excuses, validated by the subconscious, because you are quote

'ILL'. That is why I never use the word, DISEASE, but CONDITION.

Love and God Bless

Gillian

A friend is, as it were, a second self.