needing tips with a pre-THANK YOU!

December 14, 2010

Hello, I'm new to this group and at my wit's end. I've been trying to go at this

alone and keep her " label " private so that it doesn't rule her life or put her

in a box, but because people don't know, she is often annoying others.. which

hurts me to see, and is bullied by those who think she is just obnoxious.

I have a really hard time with the idea of telling other children her age(14)

that she has aperger's and ADHD. Kids can take something like that and become

even more cruel with it.. saying that the child is a " mental case " or just being

weirded out by them.

I do part-time homeschool and have been letting her try two classes a day in

public school, for my sanity sake. Having her at home, makes me NUTS. She is

also heavily involved in theater and teaches during the week at private schools

with her director. On top of that, she takes a couple of college courses, and

has since she was 11.

I don't like to say that she is " Gifted " because I don't personally see that all

of this seems very much like a " Gift " with the suffering that has come with it.

-But she is extremely capable in many areas.

My most difficult issue right now as she is a teenager is her desire for more

independence, when she can't even do the simplest things, like wear socks, or

not get filthy from head to toe, or be able to properly clean her bedroom, or

resist snagging a treat that might be on the counter that she isn't supposed to

have. There are so many areas where she is pure instinct, and in so many

others, she surpasses any/all adults.

So, we have enormous conflicts. I have to admit, I am worse than anyone. Just

asking her to do a simple chore like wiping a counter down, brings me to the

point where I have a migraine and feel like I am going to lose my mind.

How do you all get your Asperger's child to do a chore properly? Just simple

things? I suppose all of our kids are different, but with mine, we have never

once been able to get her to do one basic chore correctly, while on the other

hand, she can sit at an instrument she has never played, teach it to herself and

compose songs in one day. Do I just ask nothing of her?? How will she ever be

independent if she can't cover the basics??!!

Soooo tired!!

miriam (we have four children altogether. My Asp. daughter is the oldest)

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