keeping it in perspective

[Guest guest]

Keeping things in perspective can be hard. We can get depressed, we can shut

ourselves up in our homes and let the world go by. Let's see what happens when

we let lawyers get involved.....from The Frustration Vent bonus section......The

Legal Night Before Christmas Whereas, on or about Midnight, of December 24th on

the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of

real property (called hereinafter " the House " ) a general lack of stirring by all

creatures therein, including, And but not limited to even a mouse. A variety of

foot apparel, e.g. stocking, socks, etc., had been affixed by and around the

chimney in said House in the hope and/or belief that St. Nick a/k/a/ St.

a/k/a/ Santa Claus/ Doe (hereinafter referred to as " Claus " ) would

arrive at sometime shortly thereafter. The minor residents, <EG> the children,

of the aforementioned House were located in their individual beds and were

engaged in nocturnal hallucinations, <EG> dreams, wherein vision of

confectionery treats, including, but not limited to, candies, nuts and/or sugar

plums, did dance, cavort and otherwise appear in said dreams. Whereupon the

party of the first part (sometimes hereinafter referred to as " I " ), being the

joint-owner/Co-habitant in fee simple of this " House " with the parts of the

second part (hereinafter referred to as " Mamma " ), and said Mamma Melonie, had

retired for a sustained period of sleep. (At such time, the parties were clad in

various forms of headgear, <EG> kerchief and cap.) Suddenly, and without prior

notice or warning, there did occur upon the unimproved real property adjacent

and appurtent to said House, i.e. the lawn, a certain disruption of unknown

nature, cause and/or circumstance The party of the first part did immediately

rush to a window in the House to investigate the cause of such disturbance. At

that time, the party of the first part did observe, with somewhat a degree of

wonder and/or disbelief, a miniature Gold/over/red sleigh (he