Guest guest Posted November 14, 2009 Report Share Posted November 14, 2009 I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 15, 2009 Report Share Posted November 15, 2009 Perhaps board games and books aren't his relaxing things? At that age my son loved play dough and playing in the bath tub for his downtime. Those things were relaxing to him.BeckyFrom: Cassie Murray <ringmurray@...> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 12:53:09 PMSubject: ( ) "unstructured" fun time I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 When are you trying to play with him? Just a suggestion, but if he has already been playing for a while with his peers he might need some space for a while, just to be in control and do his own thing, it can take a lot out of my son to keep himself in check while playing with others, and he needs to relax/ let off steam for a while afterwards. Ask him what he'd like to play with you. I ask my son and often he comes up with this game where he is the giant and I'm the Simpsons, yep all 5 of them, and he takes it in turns to talk to each of them, I'm usually bored quite quickly, but he seems to love it. From: doodle bug <doodlebugboodles@...>Subject: Re: ( ) "unstructured" fun time Date: Monday, 16 November, 2009, 2:31 Perhaps board games and books aren't his relaxing things? At that age my son loved play dough and playing in the bath tub for his downtime. Those things were relaxing to him.Becky From: Cassie Murray <ringmurray (DOT) com> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 12:53:09 PMSubject: ( ) "unstructured" fun time I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 My daughter LOVES puzzles. It is about the only thing she will sit and do for hours. We do it together, but she is much better at it than I am. We also like to play cards which is interactive and done pretty fast. She also loves to play with playdough with the cute kits they have now where you can make all kinds of fun things. Her favorite is the Mc's kit where she makes the cheeseburgers the same way she likes them! Lindsey sen http://5kidswdisabilities.wordpress.com On Sun, Nov 15, 2009 at 9:31 PM, doodle bug <doodlebugboodles@...> wrote: Perhaps board games and books aren't his relaxing things? At that age my son loved play dough and playing in the bath tub for his downtime. Those things were relaxing to him.Becky From: Cassie Murray <ringmurray@...> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 12:53:09 PMSubject: ( ) " unstructured " fun time I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, " fun " time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his " down time. " I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 I can definately relate to your situation with your son. My daughter wants the topic to be about her special interest solely. She is so happy with her pets. It gets dyfunctional when she is stressed and obsessed. Then it is no longer fun to be around her. In this state of mind she may pressure me to do something " perfect " and no mattter what gets no statifaction. This is something we have had to turn to medication to try to reduce. But we are so cautious and the doctor is too that any upset in her life triggers this obessive behavior. It is just awful, awful state of mind for her to be in. I definately think my daughter has made progress broading her interests provided I give her time for her pets daily. She can be fun to be with provided she is not in an anxious state. Pam > > I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, " fun " time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his " down time. " I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! > > Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 Dear Doodle Bug and Lorraine, Thank you for your suggestions --- I'll try everything that you've both suggested. At times, it is hard to get my son to agree to do anything with me, one-on-one and playful. I think his anxiety is playing into this as well! It seems that everything has to be "structured." Thank you so much, Cassie From: doodle bug <doodlebugboodles>Subject: Re: ( ) "unstructured" fun time Date: Monday, 16 November, 2009, 2:31 Perhaps board games and books aren't his relaxing things? At that age my son loved play dough and playing in the bath tub for his downtime. Those things were relaxing to him.Becky From: Cassie Murray <ringmurray (DOT) com> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 12:53:09 PMSubject: ( ) "unstructured" fun time I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 Pam, Your response is comforting to me and it helps a lot --- thank you. I can see that anxiety is playing a large part in this for my son as well. He seems to have lost somewhat the ability to do things that are "unstructured." I don't recall this being an issue when he was a toddler--it all began at about age 5-6. Now that he is in the second grade, it is increasing. I don't mind at all doing things that meet my kids' special interests. I'm ok with 'special interests,' and will willingly go along with both of my sons' areas of interest. It's just getting my younger son to "play" and relax with me at all! Again, thanks for any insights. From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: "unstructured" fun time Date: Monday, November 16, 2009, 10:16 AM I can definately relate to your situation with your son. My daughter wants the topic to be about her special interestsolely. She is so happy with her pets. It gets dyfunctional when she is stressed and obsessed. Then it is no longer fun to be around her. In this state of mind she maypressure me to do something "perfect" and no mattter what gets no statifaction. This is something we have had to turn to medication to try to reduce. But we are so cautious and the doctor is too that any upset in her life triggers this obessivebehavior. It is just awful, awful state of mind for her to bein. I definately think my daughter has made progress broading her interests provided I give her time for her pets daily. She can be fun to be with provided she is not in an anxiousstate. Pam >> I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me!> > Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much!> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 16, 2009 Report Share Posted November 16, 2009 If he is having one-on-one problems in general then it is going to be stressful to him. Have you discussed how to push him out of that with your support system?BeckyFrom: Cassie Murray <ringmurray@...> Sent: Mon, November 16, 2009 9:44:11 AMSubject: Re: ( ) "unstructured" fun time Dear Doodle Bug and Lorraine, Thank you for your suggestions --- I'll try everything that you've both suggested. At times, it is hard to get my son to agree to do anything with me, one-on-one and playful. I think his anxiety is playing into this as well! It seems that everything has to be "structured. " Thank you so much, Cassie From: doodle bug <doodlebugboodles>Subject: Re: ( ) "unstructured" fun time Date: Monday, 16 November, 2009, 2:31 Perhaps board games and books aren't his relaxing things? At that age my son loved play dough and playing in the bath tub for his downtime. Those things were relaxing to him.Becky From: Cassie Murray <ringmurray (DOT) com> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 12:53:09 PMSubject: ( ) "unstructured" fun time I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted November 17, 2009 Report Share Posted November 17, 2009 Yes, he has begun Speech Therapy for pragmatic language issues. One thing that is very useful (and illuminating) is that the therapist uses "conversation cards" to have conversations with him. There's a "question" card and a "comment" card and a "start a new topic" card, etc. With this kind of structure, he does much, much better. He seems to need a "script," or some background knowledge of a topic before he can engage in conversation, particularly with people outside of the family. This could be his slow processing speed, adhd, anxiety, or maybe shades of Asperger's? This is what I would like his developmental team to tease-out. Does this make sense? From: doodle bug <doodlebugboodles>Subject: Re: ( ) "unstructured" fun time Date: Monday, 16 November, 2009, 2:31 Perhaps board games and books aren't his relaxing things? At that age my son loved play dough and playing in the bath tub for his downtime. Those things were relaxing to him.Becky From: Cassie Murray <ringmurray (DOT) com> Sent: Sat, November 14, 2009 12:53:09 PMSubject: ( ) "unstructured" fun time I would like to know if any parents have difficulty in getting their young children with AS to participate in unstructured, "fun" time with you, such as just looking at a book or playing a board game? My very bright, 7-yr.-old DS does play nicely with his siblings and participates in imaginary games with them. He enjoys the structure of reading information in fact-filled books, and reading Pokemon websites, for example, during his "down time." I am having trouble, however, getting him to relax with me and just play a game. He can be so very serious with me! Can anyone relate and what works for you? I am clueless as to whether this is an AS trait, an ADHD trait, or just a more general personality trait. I'd appreciate any insights. Thanks so much! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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