Laurie Re: Tantrums

[Guest guest]

Oh Laurie,

Your situation is so heartbreaking. I really feel for Dillon and what he's going through. My ds did a similar thing; he let some loser 'friends' into our home and they went through my drawers looking for, "whatever they could find". They took over $800.00, a cell phone, camera, credit card, and who knows what else. I was able to recover the phone and credit card... that's it.

I was MOST upset that he would let anyone into my bedroom, such a huge personal violation. But I also realized that he is not materialistic at all, and what he really was trying to do is please his 'friends'... he desperately wants to be liked.... very sad the compromises they feel they have to make. Laurie, Dillon might feel so terrible that he has let you down, that he simply can not imagine how you can feel love for him. That is what my ds thought after the theft incident. Forgiveness seems like such a difficult concept for my ds to understand too... it's as if he can't forgive himself.

What you've said about Dillon makes me very sad, his Mother has broken his heart, and it may take him a very long time to feel emotionally filled up again. And the homework... UGGGH... can you get that removed in his IEP ? You guys need some serious bonding time, to go fishing and hiking, roast marshmallows and catch tadpoles. Due to his present condition, I would resist residential treatment too. It sounds like you're going to have to overdose him with loving care, and try to fill his heart back up.

I really admire you Laurie, you have taken on a tremendous lot. I'm sure watching him through his current struggles is very scary. Sounds like he's really at a low point, with no where to go but up. Have you thought about getting him a young pup to care for, or a bunny ? Sometimes a pet can go a long way toward taking the place of a pal. THanks for the update Laurie, and do take care !!

Kate

From: lakombert@... <lakombert@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Re: Tantrums Date: Sunday, March 14, 2010, 3:09 PM

Hi Kate, thank you. Life gets hectic. We've had some real struggles with Dillon. He stole money from my wallet, took it to school and handed it out to his friends. $88.

His teacher saw him with money, saw him giving it out to classmates, yet never thought it important enough to call home to ask if we were missing money. The money is gone, we only got $20 of the money back. The other children denied that he gave it to them.

He's been having monster rages and his psychiatrist said this last one she would deem as a "psychotic break" of sorts. He was told he needed to do his homework. We went over his spelling words with him. He had to write them 3 times each. He lost it, completely. Threw himself onto the kitchen floor screaming he wanted his mommy, he wanted to live with his mommy, why didn't she love him, he wanted to die. It was bad.

I was in tears. It's never been this bad before. All contact with his mother has now been taken away. She had been continuously making promises to him and not following through with them.

His psychiatrist has suggested residential placement for him for a while at a place called the Kings Daughter School for Autism in Columbia, TN. I told her that I don't want him residentially placed. They don't want to change medications because he is slight for his age. He's 61 lbs and 51 inches tall. They're afraid of the side effects of other meds so he's on 10 mgs of Prozac daily.

Since that huge meltdown or "psychotic break", he's been very quiet, sullen, barely eating. He hasn't asked for his mother in weeks. There's been no combativeness at all. Once in a while he'll stomp his foot if he's upset but that's it. He seems broken.

Life goes on. He sees a social worker 3 times a week. A counselor every 2 weeks, and a psychiatrist every 6 weeks.

Some days we feel like we're treading water, others we're making small progress. But Spring is here and along with new life on the farm, I'm hoping that it'll bring new hope to all of us here. One thing....we took Dillon on 7 year ago in June. We promised him that we would take care of him. We're not giving up on that promise.

Laurie