Re: messy room

[Guest guest]

This sounds like my 9 year old boy - I told him that if he doesnt clean up his toys I will donete them to kids that will take care of them and I have . the thing is your not the mom and thats a different situation and your boy is 14- maybe for his birthdday or christmas or as a reward for something good you and his dad can give his room a "make over" as a gift and that will give you the green light to go all over the room and give rid of stuff and add some organizing stuff thats on sale for back to school- well the "makeover" is the only thing I can think of- it always gets my son exited to make over his room we use his school projects and as he gets older the old ones come down and the new ones go on the wall.

hope this helps

Catalina ValenzuelaAvon Independent Sales Representative My store is open 24/7 at: www.youravon.com/catalinavalenzuelaFree Shipping Code: FSANY

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) messy room Date: Tuesday, September 7, 2010, 9:33 AM

my boyfriend son is 14 his room is is son messy i try to help him clean it. It's so bab you can't see the floor. when i ask him to clean it he always doesnt feel well.I try helping him so he doesn't get overwelmed I even clean it myself took me 3hrs He doesnt have a mother i'm closest thing he has to one .he keep everthing sleep on clothes papers all over keeps cereal boxes etc .It's so hard to get him throw stuff away .I'm afraid he gonna be a hoarder denise

[Guest guest]

When I tell my daughter to clean her room I break it down for her. For example I will say put your dirty clothes in the hamper, put the books on the books shelf and the toys in the toy box. And I may have to remind her but she will get each thing done but she has to have it "itemized" whereas clean the room is too vague and she doesn't know where to start

Vicki

-- ( ) messy room

my boyfriend son is 14 his room is is son messy i try to help him clean it. It's so bab you can't see the floor. when i ask him to clean it he always doesnt feel well.I try helping him so he doesn't get overwelmed I even clean it myself took me 3hrs He doesnt have a mother i'm closest thing he has to one .he keep everthing sleep on clothes papers all over keeps cereal boxes etc .It's so hard to get him throw stuff away .I'm afraid he gonna be a hoarder denise

[Guest guest]

I have found the same thing with my dd, Vicki. When I tell her to clean her room she just looks around like she can't see the mess. If I say "pick your clothes up off the floor" or "clean off your desk" she will do it just fine. From: mom2emsar@...Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 14:59:08 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) messy room

When I tell my daughter to clean her room I break it down for her. For example I will say put your dirty clothes in the hamper, put the books on the books shelf and the toys in the toy box. And I may have to remind her but she will get each thing done but she has to have it "itemized" whereas clean the room is too vague and she doesn't know where to start

Vicki

-- ( ) messy room

my boyfriend son is 14 his room is is son messy i try to help him clean it. It's so bab you can't see the floor. when i ask him to clean it he always doesnt feel well.I try helping him so he doesn't get overwelmed I even clean it myself took me 3hrs He doesnt have a mother i'm closest thing he has to one .he keep everthing sleep on clothes papers all over keeps cereal boxes etc .It's so hard to get him throw stuff away .I'm afraid he gonna be a hoarder denise

[Guest guest]

My nuero typical child is like this.It sounds like it's normal.I would place a poster on the inside of their bedroom door with specific tasks that need to be complete: Dirty clothes in hamper, toys in toy bin, books on shelf.My 15 yo aspie angel told me years ago it was overwhelming for him and he didn't know where to start and where to end. They need a start and an end.I also labeled his dressers so when he puts away his clothes he knows where they go. Both helped tremondously.RobynLeader, Hampton Roads Asperger Syndrome Support Group-- Sent from my Palm PreOn Oct 2, 2010 5:14, <denise092769@...> wrote:

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

Work with him....show him ...step by step. It is probably too overwhelming for him. Also, what you consider clean maybe totally different from what he considers clean.

My son is 14. We battled over this too...his comment...it is my room and it is not messy and YOUR friends don't come in here. OMG.....I had to laugh at that. We came to an agreement...I will stay out of his room...but there is to be no food leftover in there or dirty dishes. And I do want him to vacuum and dust once a week.

We have to pick our battles. So maybe you could teach your son to put the dirty clothes in the hamper and toys in a bin ...and if it is a little messy then let it be.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 10:08:30 PMSubject: ( ) messy room

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

I agree that you have to break down the clean up process into steps otherwise he

may just get over whelmed. Plus you may want to make some rules regarding the

level of messiness that you will tolerate. We made a rule a long time ago that

if his clothes didn't make it into the hamper on a daily basis then my son had

to do laundry for the whole family. It was amazing how quickly his clothes made

it into the hamper after the one time that he had to do the laundry.

My son likes to collect things so his room gets over stuffed with things. We've

given him a lot of storage to help. Plus a few times per year we help him go

through stuff to figure out what he really wants to keep. If we didn't help him

then he would keep stuff forever. He's a packrat just like my DH.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

When our son with AS was younger, we'd honestly had to clean it WITH him. He just couldn't do it. I think it was overwhelming.

He loved organization.....had boxed and containers and shelves.......but as soon as we'd get things into them, they'd come out to be played with and then he lacked the ability to put it back. He WANTED order....I think we all do.........he just couldn't do it.

Over the years, though, he got better. He can straighten it up now. If we tell him. he he.

BUt,,,,,,heck....he's 14. I was a darned slob. My room is still pitiful.

My other kids can clean their room to a point. But.........they need to be shown when they're young.....a lot. As they age...and hopefully when they're adults....they'll do it to THEIR standards on their own. he he.

I'd just start cleaning it with him. It'll come....in time. Maybe not to your standards......but it'll come.

(Oh...and had a community laundry basket....so it wasnt' another item in his room. I don't know if that's an issue with him or not,,,but just an idea.

Good luck!!!

Robin

And when the broken hearted people living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be. For though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see, there will be an answer. let it be.

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) messy room Date: Friday, October 1, 2010, 9:08 PM

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

A couple of things we did with son was switch to laundry baskets for everything.

He just would NOT put clothes away, so three baskets are on top of his dresser

that clean clothes can be tossed (and supposedly separated) into. And then two

for dirty clothes in closet. That helped a little, most of the time they all

just stay in closet, clean and dirty! He would wash the same clean, unworn pair

of jeans every week. It is like a pigsty, though, around him computer. I can't

tell you how many CD's he has rolled over and cracked into with his chair

because he just dropped onto the floor. I confiscated a huge box of them

Thursday during a screaming fight because he couldn't find key ringer that is

attached to wallet which hold driver's license! All were lost! And don't let

this depress you, but he IS 26. I cannot see that it has gotten better in any

way. It is still a battle every time. And he has to be told over and over and

over the same stuff. And usually lose computer until it is done. Good luck. Oh,

one other thing we did was use blue painter's tape on the floor to make zones.

SO he could break it down and clean up Zone 1, Zone 2 etc. Pitiful huh!

Sue in TN

>

>

> From: <denise092769@...>

> Subject: ( ) messy room

>

> Date: Friday, October 1, 2010, 9:08 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

> Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean

it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

>

[Guest guest]

Something else you might try, is taking a picture of the different parts of his room when it’s clean. So he knows how it’s supposed to look. That is an issue for my son… he doesn’t know how it’s supposed to look when it’s done. And lacks the ability to break it into steps. So we have both a finished product picture, AND pictures of steps along the way. So maybe step one is a picture of a pile of books on the floor, and it says “place all books back on your bookshelfâ€â€¦ then there’s a picture of the bookshelf, with the books neatly put away on them. Etc etc etc Being visual, this might help, too I would also be in there WITH him, to guide along as we went. Even if just to say “OK what’s next?†and then he’d reference his list. SOMETIMES this is all it takes. Other times, I have to buy a bag of M & M’s or something, and he earns one or two for every step he completes along the way, and gets the rest when his finished product looks like the finished picture (or close enough). Make sure he has bins for things, and there is ample organization there for him. I’d also suggest a couple of bins for “stuffâ€. has a basket for his “special thingsâ€, and he tosses all kinds of stuff in there haha. But that’s HIS special things basket, he can put whatever he wants in it. When we were still in our old house, he even had an entire clear drawer for collecting empty toilet paper rolls (he is HUGELY into “making†things with them). Good luck ! =) From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Cathleen VeloriaSent: Saturday, October 02, 2010 6:43 PM Subject: Re: ( ) messy room Hello , Has it always been this way? My son is 7 and already I can't keep his room clean. I bargain, negotiate, threaten with punishment and nothing works. I haven't tried the reward system yet, but everyone tells me that is the way to go. have to get off my you know what and get a system going. Cathleen From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 7:08:30 PMSubject: ( ) messy room Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

Hello ,

Has it always been this way? My son is 7 and already I can't keep his room clean. I bargain, negotiate, threaten with punishment and nothing works. I haven't tried the reward system yet, but everyone tells me that is the way to go.

have to get off my you know what and get a system going.

Cathleen

From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 7:08:30 PMSubject: ( ) messy room

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

I am new here, but have any of you ever tried FlyLady? They have emails that

are sent to the kids and they have a certain zone to work on. She has also come

up with a bedtime routine that makes the evenings work out better so that the

morning time is easier. My 16 yo daughter now has a zero period so she has to

make the bus by 6 a.m. so she has been doing her routine and picking out her

clothes the night before with accessories, (she looks so much more put together

this school year and has received so many complements), she also completes all

of her homework and puts her books, notebook, and purse by her launch pad, so

she knows where it is in the morning. Seems to work out very well for her.

I am actually shining my sink right now at my daughter's insistence.

http://www.flylady.net/

Single Aspie Mom Raising an Aspie Teenaged Daughter

>

> my boyfriend son is 14 his room is is son messy i try to help him clean it.

It's so bab you can't see the floor. when i ask him to clean it he always doesnt

feel well.I try helping him so he doesn't get overwelmed I even clean it myself

took me 3hrs He doesnt have a mother i'm closest thing he has to one .he keep

everthing sleep on clothes papers all over keeps cereal boxes etc .It's so

hard to get him throw stuff away .I'm afraid he gonna be a hoarder

denise

>

[Guest guest]

i do the same but go back to messy thanks

From: <denise092769@...>Subject: ( ) messy room Date: Friday, October 1, 2010, 9:08 PM

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

i do but he very lazy i dont want it perfect just off the floor thanks for you adviceFrom: rushen janice <jrushen@...>Subject: Re: ( ) messy room Date: Saturday, October 2, 2010, 1:10 PM

Work with him....show him ...step by step. It is probably too overwhelming for him. Also, what you consider clean maybe totally different from what he considers clean.

My son is 14. We battled over this too...his comment...it is my room and it is not messy and YOUR friends don't come in here. OMG.....I had to laugh at that. We came to an agreement...I will stay out of his room...but there is to be no food leftover in there or dirty dishes. And I do want him to vacuum and dust once a week.

We have to pick our battles. So maybe you could teach your son to put the dirty clothes in the hamper and toys in a bin ...and if it is a little messy then let it be.

Jan

"In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity" Albert Einstein

Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has overcome to obtain that position

From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 10:08:30 PMSubject: ( ) messy room

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

if you saw it you wouldnt call it normal lol

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

wow they sound the same i think i will have to clean it then after that help show him thanks From: C <c2cats@...>Subject: ( ) Re: messy room Date: Saturday, October 2, 2010, 1:55 PM

I agree that you have to break down the clean up process into steps otherwise he may just get over whelmed. Plus you may want to make some rules regarding the level of messiness that you will tolerate. We made a rule a long time ago that if his clothes didn't make it into the hamper on a daily basis then my son had to do laundry for the whole family. It was amazing how quickly his clothes made it into the hamper after the one time that he had to do the laundry.

My son likes to collect things so his room gets over stuffed with things. We've given him a lot of storage to help. Plus a few times per year we help him go through stuff to figure out what he really wants to keep. If we didn't help him then he would keep stuff forever. He's a packrat just like my DH.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

thanks for your input sounds like the same kids lolFrom: Mimi <sue@...>Subject: ( ) Re: messy room Date: Saturday, October 2, 2010, 8:24 PM

A couple of things we did with son was switch to laundry baskets for everything. He just would NOT put clothes away, so three baskets are on top of his dresser that clean clothes can be tossed (and supposedly separated) into. And then two for dirty clothes in closet. That helped a little, most of the time they all just stay in closet, clean and dirty! He would wash the same clean, unworn pair of jeans every week. It is like a pigsty, though, around him computer. I can't tell you how many CD's he has rolled over and cracked into with his chair because he just dropped onto the floor. I confiscated a huge box of them Thursday during a screaming fight because he couldn't find key ringer that is attached to wallet which hold driver's license! All were lost! And don't let this depress you, but he IS 26. I cannot see that it has gotten better in any way. It is still a battle every time. And he has to be told over and over and over the same stuff. And

usually lose computer until it is done. Good luck. Oh, one other thing we did was use blue painter's tape on the floor to make zones. SO he could break it down and clean up Zone 1, Zone 2 etc. Pitiful huh!

Sue in TN

>

>

> From: <denise092769@...>

> Subject: ( ) messy room

>

> Date: Friday, October 1, 2010, 9:08 PM

>

>

> Â

>

>

>

> Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

>

[Guest guest]

hi cathleen i was thinking of trying that also im not his mom i live with my boyfriend im closest thing to a mom to him so thats why everything hard i read a lot hope in time things will get betterFrom: Cathleen Veloria <cathleen.veloria@...>Subject: Re: ( ) messy room Date: Saturday, October 2, 2010, 9:12 PM

Hello ,

Has it always been this way? My son is 7 and already I can't keep his room clean. I bargain, negotiate, threaten with punishment and nothing works. I haven't tried the reward system yet, but everyone tells me that is the way to go.

have to get off my you know what and get a system going.

Cathleen

From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 7:08:30 PMSubject: ( ) messy room

Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

omg your so helpful i will try it is the reward system work? wow what up with toilet paper and paper towel rolls i find them all over the apartmentFrom: O'Brien <nicole.obrien@...>Subject: RE: ( ) messy room Date: Saturday, October 2, 2010, 9:39 PM

Something else you might try, is taking a picture of the different parts of his room when it’s clean. So he knows how it’s supposed to look. That is an issue for my son… he doesn’t know how it’s supposed to look when it’s done. And lacks the ability to break it into steps. So we have both a finished product picture, AND pictures of steps along the way. So maybe step one is a picture of a pile of books on the floor, and it says “place all books back on your bookshelfâ€â€¦ then there’s a picture of the bookshelf, with the books neatly put away on them. Etc etc etc Being visual, this might help,

too I would also be in there WITH him, to guide along as we went. Even if just to say “OK what’s next?†and then he’d reference his list. SOMETIMES this is all it takes. Other times, I have to buy a bag of M & M’s or something, and he earns one or two for every step he completes along the way, and gets the rest when his finished product looks like the finished picture (or close enough). Make sure he has bins for things, and there is ample organization there for him. I’d also suggest a couple of bins for “stuffâ€. has a

basket for his “special thingsâ€, and he tosses all kinds of stuff in there haha. But that’s HIS special things basket, he can put whatever he wants in it. When we were still in our old house, he even had an entire clear drawer for collecting empty toilet paper rolls (he is HUGELY into “making†things with them). Good luck ! =) From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Cathleen VeloriaSent: Saturday, October 02, 2010 6:43 PM Subject: Re: ( ) messy room Hello , Has it always been this way? My son is 7 and already I can't keep his room clean. I bargain, negotiate, threaten

with punishment and nothing works. I haven't tried the reward system yet, but everyone tells me that is the way to go. have to get off my you know what and get a system going. Cathleen From: <denise092769@...> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 7:08:30 PMSubject: ( ) messy room Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

[Guest guest]

Honestly, it can be more difficult for an AS child to clean a bedroom,

especially if they've got executive function issues, but sometimes its a matter

of adjusting your expectations. I have two girls, one with ADHD, one with a

combination of ADHD, inattentive type and AS. They share a very large bedroom.

When teaching my oldest daughter about her ADHD, a book written at kid's level

suggested lots of good strategies for dealing with the bedroom clutter. The

thing that I as a parent have to remember is that its about the solutions

working for the individual. Some of the things that have helped in our house

have included using clothes baskets instead of standard dressers for shirts and

pants. Clothes might not always be neatly folded in them, but worst case

scenario, clothes can at least be tossed in. They're of a height that they can

be shoved under the bed and a comforter at least pulled up onto the bed covers

the worst of the mess. Cubicle type storage with baskets, especially if they

can be color coded help a LOT with containerizing the mess.

Revisit the closet and look at how the space is being used. My kids have few

clothes that they hang up, so its another good space for organization that can

be shut away when you want the room to look neat. We've got closet door

organizers for each girl so that they've got lots of pockets for keeping stuff

that needs to be up visible.

Realistically look at the amount of STUFF in the room versus how much storage is

there and figure out if it might be time to purge, or at least set up a rotation

system.

>

> Work with him....show him ...step by step.  It is probably too overwhelming

for

> him.  Also, what you consider clean maybe totally different from what he

> considers clean.

>

> My son is 14.  We battled over this too...his comment...it is my room and it

is

> not messy and YOUR friends don't come in here.  OMG.....I had to laugh at

that. 

> We came to an agreement...I will stay out of his room...but there is to be no

> food leftover in there or dirty dishes.  And I do want him to vacuum and dust

> once a week.

>

>

> We have to pick our battles.  So maybe you could teach your son to put the

dirty

> clothes in the hamper and toys in a bin ...and if it is a little messy then

let

> it be. 

>

>

> Jan

>  

> " In the Midst of Difficulty lies Opportunity "     Albert Einstein

>  

> Success is not measured by one's position but by the obstacles one has

overcome

> to obtain that position

>

>

>

>

> ________________________________

> From: <denise092769@...>

>

> Sent: Fri, October 1, 2010 10:08:30 PM

> Subject: ( ) messy room

>

>  

> Hi my name is denise my jd is 14 his room so messy so hard to get him to clean

> it up itls like his room threw up clothes and toys omg i need help

>

[Guest guest]

FlyLady is awesome!-- Sent from my Palm PreOn Oct 2, 2010 21:55, <hollynme@...> wrote:

I am new here, but have any of you ever tried FlyLady? They have emails that are sent to the kids and they have a certain zone to work on. She has also come up with a bedtime routine that makes the evenings work out better so that the morning time is easier. My 16 yo daughter now has a zero period so she has to make the bus by 6 a.m. so she has been doing her routine and picking out her clothes the night before with accessories, (she looks so much more put together this school year and has received so many complements), she also completes all of her homework and puts her books, notebook, and purse by her launch pad, so she knows where it is in the morning. Seems to work out very well for her.

I am actually shining my sink right now at my daughter's insistence.

http://www.flylady.net/

Single Aspie Mom Raising an Aspie Teenaged Daughter

>

> my boyfriend son is 14 his room is is son messy i try to help him clean it. It's so bab you can't see the floor. when i ask him to clean it he always doesnt feel well.I try helping him so he doesn't get overwelmed I even clean it myself took me 3hrs He doesnt have a mother i'm closest thing he has to one .he keep everthing sleep on clothes papers all over keeps cereal boxes etc .It's so hard to get him throw stuff away .I'm afraid he gonna be a hoarder denise

>