Re: Re: Are social skills groups beneficial?

[Guest guest]

I just wanted to thank Pamela for such an insightful and thoughtful response here. It helped me a lot!

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Are social skills groups beneficial? Date: Thursday, December 9, 2010, 9:39 PM

It really helps to develop skills and emotional awareness too.Our neurologist said social skills 3 times a week every week.Now finding groups your son will want to attend is anothermatter. At home you can work on using more gestures so hemakes more eye contact with you (thumbs up instead of saying yes etc)broaden his interests one day a week for a few hours to whatboys his age of doing (roller skate, bike ride etc) then lethim have his special interest time. Next label his emotions,if he looks mad, ask him "are you mad" "are you lonely" "are you nervous about tommorrow?" check how he is feeling,these kinds usually don't have a good emotional IQ, youwant him to express emotions not bottle them up. Another social skill is teaching by social stories you say"Your cousin likes pokemon cards, at Christmas he may wantto show you a card and he would like it if you took at

interest"You can use your own interests to practice, tell him ask me about my interests and I will do the same with you rather than just have him talk on about his interests.Telling social stories such as what other typical kidsare doing that you know "I was talking to my friend and shesaid her son really likes the WE game, and he plays hourson this one game called Prisoner of War". This way he hassome idea what others are doing and thinking about.There is so much to explicitly to teach these kids. I likeMichele Winners books that teach parents how to explainsocial perspective, but it has so many skills to teach about how others think about each other. You can startwith yourself. Does your son know your interests? Have him get to know your interests (it will take years)and show in interest (hard to get motivated for Mom perhaps)Another SS strategy is Floortime, where you spend

at leastan hour a day breaking a cycle of the child being withdrawnyou enter there world and start there, with there interests only. The RDI folks don't teach at all they play games and do thingsto engage the child and have them look at you. Frustrating for some kids and parents but part of the overall strategy.Spending time being physical and playing with each othersuch as throwing a ball, rolling around, cuddling andplaying is important too. For us this was a real strugglewhen anxiety was high.The more anxiety the more they retreat into there interests.One very helpful strategy was to treat the anxiety at age12, it was causing too many problems.Obessiveness is still such a problem for us. It is a marathon not a sprint. It takes their wholechildhood to help them grow. And often threw youngadulthood. good luck,Pam l esalt >> My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and heating systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with classmates about these topics, as he realizes that typical kids are uninterested. I know that he doesn't speak with any of his classmates at lunch time and he said that he doesn't mind this at all; he would rather look at the pipes in the lunchroom.> > I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with

this? I appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!>

[Guest guest]

I agree with Pam, also if your child likes to do other things it helps to enroll them so they can be around that social group. My daughter enjoys art, so next month are college offers weekend art classes and they also have a summer art camp. My daughter is 6yo with AS and she also has done two years of chearleading. She just loves it and does cheers at home throughout the year. Does he like and certain sport? You could sign him up for that, or some type of activity with your YMCA. Just a thought.My daughter is also a visual learner as well, and i've found that if I use pictures cards and role playing, she will respond really well with some of her sensory problems.-

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Are social skills groups beneficial? Date: Thursday, December 9, 2010, 9:39 PM

It really helps to develop skills and emotional awareness too.Our neurologist said social skills 3 times a week every week.Now finding groups your son will want to attend is anothermatter. At home you can work on using more gestures so hemakes more eye contact with you (thumbs up instead of saying yes etc)broaden his interests one day a week for a few hours to whatboys his age of doing (roller skate, bike ride etc) then lethim have his special interest time. Next label his emotions,if he looks mad, ask him "are you mad" "are you lonely" "are you nervous about tommorrow?" check how he is feeling,these kinds usually don't have a good emotional IQ, youwant him to express emotions not bottle them up. Another social skill is teaching by social stories you say"Your cousin likes pokemon cards, at Christmas he may wantto show you a card and he would like it if you took at

interest"You can use your own interests to practice, tell him ask me about my interests and I will do the same with you rather than just have him talk on about his interests.Telling social stories such as what other typical kidsare doing that you know "I was talking to my friend and shesaid her son really likes the WE game, and he plays hourson this one game called Prisoner of War". This way he hassome idea what others are doing and thinking about.There is so much to explicitly to teach these kids. I likeMichele Winners books that teach parents how to explainsocial perspective, but it has so many skills to teach about how others think about each other. You can startwith yourself. Does your son know your interests? Have him get to know your interests (it will take years)and show in interest (hard to get motivated for Mom perhaps)Another SS strategy is Floortime, where you spend

at leastan hour a day breaking a cycle of the child being withdrawnyou enter there world and start there, with there interests only. The RDI folks don't teach at all they play games and do thingsto engage the child and have them look at you. Frustrating for some kids and parents but part of the overall strategy.Spending time being physical and playing with each othersuch as throwing a ball, rolling around, cuddling andplaying is important too. For us this was a real strugglewhen anxiety was high.The more anxiety the more they retreat into there interests.One very helpful strategy was to treat the anxiety at age12, it was causing too many problems.Obessiveness is still such a problem for us. It is a marathon not a sprint. It takes their wholechildhood to help them grow. And often threw youngadulthood. good luck,Pam l esalt >> My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. He is very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and heating systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with classmates about these topics, as he realizes that typical kids are uninterested. I know that he doesn't speak with any of his classmates at lunch time and he said that he doesn't mind this at all; he would rather look at the pipes in the lunchroom.> > I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are there different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what his needs are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with

this? I appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!>

[Guest guest]

-

My daughter

is the same way. She is very awkward at most sports (she’s the kid that finally

scores, but in the wrong goalJ). However, she started softball a few seasons ago and has found a niche

with pitching, believe it or not. She still trips running to first base, but the

girl can pitch (and fastpitch too!). You just have to experiment and find what makes

them tick (in a good way). It gives her the confidence boost she needs and it’s

also good for those days she has a little “too much energy”. I send her out to the

pitching net in the backyard and she will throw balls until it’s all gone J

But I too

have found that being with her peers, participating in extracurricular activities

has worked out best for her. Those same kids that pick on her at school can’t say

much after her winning the game for the team the day before!

Also, she

is a visual learner as well. We have charts all over the house (complete with

picture cards) for her to keep her focused. Flash cards are a favorite with her

during long car trips as well. She’ll sit and study one card forever.

Good

luck!

Marina

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of Ohmit

Sent: Saturday, December 11, 2010

9:14 AM

Subject: Re: ( )

Re: Are social skills groups beneficial?

I agree with Pam, also if your child likes to do

other things it helps to enroll them so they can be around that social group.

My daughter enjoys art, so next month are college offers weekend art classes

and they also have a summer art camp. My daughter is 6yo with AS and she also

has done two years of chearleading. She just loves it and does cheers at home

throughout the year. Does he like and certain sport? You could sign him up

for that, or some type of activity with your YMCA. Just a thought.

My daughter is also a visual learner as well, and

i've found that if I use pictures cards and role playing, she will respond

really well with some of her sensory problems.

-

From: Pamela <susanonderko@...>

Subject: ( ) Re: Are social skills groups beneficial?

Date: Thursday, December 9, 2010, 9:39 PM

It really helps to

develop skills and emotional awareness too.

Our neurologist said social skills 3 times a week every week.

Now finding groups your son will want to attend is another

matter.

At home you can work on using more gestures so he

makes more eye contact with you (thumbs up instead of saying yes etc)

broaden his interests one day a week for a few hours to what

boys his age of doing (roller skate, bike ride etc) then let

him have his special interest time.

Next label his emotions,

if he looks mad, ask him " are you mad " " are you lonely "

" are you nervous about tommorrow? " check how he is feeling,

these kinds usually don't have a good emotional IQ, you

want him to express emotions not bottle them up.

Another social skill is teaching by social stories you say

" Your cousin likes pokemon cards, at Christmas he may want

to show you a card and he would like it if you took at interest "

You can use your own interests to practice, tell him ask me about my

interests and I will do the same with you rather than

just have him talk on about his interests.

Telling social stories such as what other typical kids

are doing that you know " I was talking to my friend and she

said her son really likes the WE game, and he plays hours

on this one game called Prisoner of War " . This way he has

some idea what others are doing and thinking about.

There is so much to explicitly to teach these kids. I like

Michele Winners books that teach parents how to explain

social perspective, but it has so many skills to teach

about how others think about each other. You can start

with yourself. Does your son know your interests?

Have him get to know your interests (it will take years)

and show in interest (hard to get motivated for Mom perhaps)

Another SS strategy is Floortime, where you spend at least

an hour a day breaking a cycle of the child being withdrawn

you enter there world and start there, with there interests only.

The RDI folks don't teach at all they play games and do things

to engage the child and have them look at you. Frustrating

for some kids and parents but part of the overall strategy.

Spending time being physical and playing with each other

such as throwing a ball, rolling around, cuddling and

playing is important too. For us this was a real struggle

when anxiety was high.

The more anxiety the more they retreat into there interests.

One very helpful strategy was to treat the anxiety at age

12, it was causing too many problems.

Obessiveness is still such a problem for us.

It is a marathon not a sprint. It takes their whole

childhood to help them grow. And often threw young

adulthood.

good luck,

Pam

l esalt

>

> My eight year old son was recently diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome.

He is very verbal, although he talks mostly about plumbing, lighting, and

heating systems. He is aware enough to refrain from speaking with

classmates about these topics, as he realizes that typical kids are

uninterested. I know that he doesn't speak with any of his classmates at

lunch time and he said that he doesn't mind this at all; he would rather

look at the pipes in the lunchroom.

>

> I am wondering if I should find a social skills group for him. Are

there different kinds that address different needs? I'm not even sure what

his needs are. Does anyone have any positive or negative experiences with

this? I appreciate anyone's input. Thank you!

>