Re: Getting ready for 7th grade......................... any ideas?

[Guest guest]

Dear Kathy,

Your note caught my

eye as I am a seventh grade teacher.

Your story reminds

me of my aunt. Back in the 1930’s my aunt completed her teaching

certificate and the teaching school converted to a four year college. All

of the teachers graduating that year were invited to stay another year, tuition

free, and earn a bachelor’s not just the three year teaching

certificate. But, although she rode the trains for free because her

father worked the railroads, she just couldn’t ask her parents for the

nickel a day for the bus in the morning. (She would walk back at the end

of the day and make the train connection but it wouldn’t work in the

morning.) For a nickel a day she was denied the education she longed for.

It turned out later that different people could have helped her but she was

afraid to ask.

I am hoping that

they don’t change your transportation, but I think you need to figure out

the annual cost of the gas and ask for help. If you have a religious affiliation,

perhaps the minister would document your letter describing your situation. I

would contact the nearest Rotary Club, Lions Club, or other civic group.

I would contact the guidance office at the school and ask if there is a fund to

help those in need, or a mini-grant available. We junior high teachers

put in a $1 into a box for a special cause on dress down days. The money

is given to different people in need. Maybe if your school does this, they

would give you one collection. I would contact the local houses of

worship, even if you don’t belong to them and ask if someone would

sponsor your son’s transportation. I need to think more about how

to phrase the letter, but others on this list serv might be able to help.

If you had to move for compelling reasons, I might include an

explanation. I might mention that at Christmas time many people

help others in need but your family needs Christmas in August. Or maybe

ask for them to sponsor $x per month to help with the gas. It sounds like

you are stretched thin, can your son help with someone’s animals to make

some money? Help with someone’s yard work?

I’m not sure

how to handle the wear and tear on your car. Before I was married, and

living on one income, I bartered tutoring the local mechanic’s son for

reduced prices on my many auto repairs. It seemed like the moment I had

any little windfall, like a tax refund, the car would know and break down and

drain me of my windfall.

About PE, if the

school is fine with his changing in the nurse’s office, I’d

probably continue. A lot of bullying takes place in the changing room,

but when there is a bullying problem, a male gym teacher or paraprofessional

will stay in the changing area. In the past couple of years, two of my

seventh graders had some issues with being bullied in the locker room and had

special accommodations. Quite frankly all of the other students are aware

that those two are different and most of today’s students have been

raised with other students needing all kinds of inclusion, accomodations,

etc. and don’t have a problem. There are always a

few nosey nasty kids who will want to use it as an excuse for ridicule, and one

boy who was being bullied left my class two minutes early. Noone else

asked about it, they knew the student was a bit different, but of course one

nosey student asked me. The conversation went like this:

“How come X

leaves class early?

“He needs to,

and if you needed to, we would do the same for you.”

“Yah, but I

don’t get why he needs to!”

“Then you don’t

need the accommodation, and I don’t discuss other student’s needs

with students. Can you let it drop?”

My friend’s

husband is 62 and he always sits to pee. Oh well.

Hope this helps, we

are all cheering for you.

E.C.

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of kvamp666

Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2010

1:41 PM

To:

Subject: ( )

Getting ready for 7th grade......................... any ideas?

Hi everyone........... I really need some support, or

advice from parents who have older kids and survived middle school.

My son is 12, going into 7th grade. Last year was obviously his first year in

middle school. It was a challenge, but the teachers and counselors were great.

When he had trouble opening his locker, getting around the crowds, etc, they

gave him a private locker in the special ed. class, that didn't lock, so he

could have a much easier time using a locker. When he didn't want to change in

front of all the other boys, they let him change out in the nurses bathroom,

and did it fairly discreetly. He'd just drop off his gym bag in the office in

the morning, then during PE, he'd go into the office, grab his bag, use the

bathroom to change, and slip into class, right across the hall. The boys hardly

noticed that he wasn't changing in with them. But, some did notice and asked

why he got special priveleges.

Now, this year, we are having problems with transportation. Due to budget cuts,

he may not get bussing. We moved, so if he stays at this school, it's

" school of choice " and we may be responsible for transporting him.

We're pretty hard off financially, and I don't know if our cars would survive

the extra travel, as well as us being able to afford the extra gas money. We

are changing his IEP from " LD " back to " AS. " Will that make

a difference in whether they have to transport him or not? Changing him to

another school right now would be so hard for him, and I just can't do it to

him. He would really struggle! Are there special allowances when the IEP is

changed, for bussing services? He is already freaking out about it, and

counting days til school starts, and every time we drive by his school, he says

" There's my school................... I hope. " (He's our little human

GPS system, and every time we travel, he tells us places we pass. " There's

the library. " " There's my sisters school. " " There's the

pizza place. " )

Transportation issues aside, what should I do about PE? I told him that the

boys all change in the locker room, and that he should do the same. He's really

noticing that he's different from the other kids, and so I tell him that if he

wants to fit in more, that he could try changing with them. He absolutely

refuses! This is a tough one. Puberty has hit. And he is very developed. And he

hates the fact that his body is changing without his permission! Should I just

let him change apart from the others again, and have him receiving special

allowances the other boys don't get? Some do notice, and ask why he doesn't

have to change in the locker room like the rest of them. Should I make him

change with the boys? What if the school won't let him change apart from them,

for whatever reason, and he had to change with them? How do you get your son to

strip in front of others and not freak out doing it? There is no special ed.

person to help him in there. What if he gets bullied? The boys locker room is

just this major fear..................... for both of us. It's a place a mom

can't get to, if her son gets in trouble. Sounds weird, huh? I can help him

anywhere else, but not there. What do moms do about the locker room situation?

BTW, do any moms have any ideas about how to get sons to stand up and pee? He

has no intention, and again, that makes him stand out among his peers. We have

no male authority figures at home. No brothers. Grandfather won't help. Does it

matter? I know he's not going to blend in with all the kids, all the time.

Should I pick the most important battles, and let the others go for now?

And the most important battle right now.............. what if they won't bus

him to the school of choice? What if we're given the ultimatum of drive him, or

change schools? The stupid part of this, is that he has to start out at the

school he had last year. Then, if they decide not to transport him, they change

schools AFTER he's already started the one he wants to be in. That's really

stupid, I think. But that's what they told us last year. Should I change

schools and make him tough it out? Do I give in and drive and hope we can

afford it? Do I switch to homeschooling? I just can't watch him go through this

pain again. (He's switched schools before, due to his IEP and lack of knowledge

on the part of the schools.)

Okay, well I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone could answer some, or any of

these questions, or tell me how your middle school experiences went, it would

be most helpful.

Thank you so much.

Kathy

In Colorado

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[Guest guest]

In 6th and 7th grades, my son was able to leave class 5 min early to change in the locker room before the other boys arrived. He also would leave PE 5 minutes early to change back. This way he'd have the locker room to himself. Sent via BlackBerry by AT&TFrom: "kvamp666" <KVAMP777@...>Sender: Date: Wed, 14 Jul 2010 17:41:29 -0000< >Reply Subject: ( ) Getting ready for 7th grade......................... any ideas? Hi everyone........... I really need some support, or advice from parents who have older kids and survived middle school.My son is 12, going into 7th grade. Last year was obviously his first year in middle school. It was a challenge, but the teachers and counselors were great. When he had trouble opening his locker, getting around the crowds, etc, they gave him a private locker in the special ed. class, that didn't lock, so he could have a much easier time using a locker. When he didn't want to change in front of all the other boys, they let him change out in the nurses bathroom, and did it fairly discreetly. He'd just drop off his gym bag in the office in the morning, then during PE, he'd go into the office, grab his bag, use the bathroom to change, and slip into class, right across the hall. The boys hardly noticed that he wasn't changing in with them. But, some did notice and asked why he got special priveleges. Now, this year, we are having problems with transportation. Due to budget cuts, he may not get bussing. We moved, so if he stays at this school, it's " school of choice " and we may be responsible for transporting him. We're pretty hard off financially, and I don't know if our cars would survive the extra travel, as well as us being able to afford the extra gas money. We are changing his IEP from " LD " back to " AS. " Will that make a difference in whether they have to transport him or not? Changing him to another school right now would be so hard for him, and I just can't do it to him. He would really struggle! Are there special allowances when the IEP is changed, for bussing services? He is already freaking out about it, and counting days til school starts, and every time we drive by his school, he says " There's my school................... I hope. " (He's our little human GPS system, and every time we travel, he tells us places we pass. " There's the library. " " There's my sisters school. " " There's the pizza place. " )Transportation issues aside, what should I do about PE? I told him that the boys all change in the locker room, and that he should do the same. He's really noticing that he's different from the other kids, and so I tell him that if he wants to fit in more, that he could try changing with them. He absolutely refuses! This is a tough one. Puberty has hit. And he is very developed. And he hates the fact that his body is changing without his permission! Should I just let him change apart from the others again, and have him receiving special allowances the other boys don't get? Some do notice, and ask why he doesn't have to change in the locker room like the rest of them. Should I make him change with the boys? What if the school won't let him change apart from them, for whatever reason, and he had to change with them? How do you get your son to strip in front of others and not freak out doing it? There is no special ed. person to help him in there. What if he gets bullied? The boys locker room is just this major fear..................... for both of us. It's a place a mom can't get to, if her son gets in trouble. Sounds weird, huh? I can help him anywhere else, but not there. What do moms do about the locker room situation? BTW, do any moms have any ideas about how to get sons to stand up and pee? He has no intention, and again, that makes him stand out among his peers. We have no male authority figures at home. No brothers. Grandfather won't help. Does it matter? I know he's not going to blend in with all the kids, all the time. Should I pick the most important battles, and let the others go for now?And the most important battle right now.............. what if they won't bus him to the school of choice? What if we're given the ultimatum of drive him, or change schools? The stupid part of this, is that he has to start out at the school he had last year. Then, if they decide not to transport him, they change schools AFTER he's already started the one he wants to be in. That's really stupid, I think. But that's what they told us last year. Should I change schools and make him tough it out? Do I give in and drive and hope we can afford it? Do I switch to homeschooling? I just can't watch him go through this pain again. (He's switched schools before, due to his IEP and lack of knowledge on the part of the schools.)Okay, well I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone could answer some, or any of these questions, or tell me how your middle school experiences went, it would be most helpful. Thank you so much.Kathy In Colorado

[Guest guest]

Lmao at your last analogy!I will keep climbing the mountain.Sent from Kel's iPhone On 16/07/2010, at 2:57 AM, "E.C." <e.c.bernard@...> wrote:

Dear Kathy,

Your note caught my

eye as I am a seventh grade teacher.

Your story reminds

me of my aunt. Back in the 1930’s my aunt completed her teaching

certificate and the teaching school converted to a four year college. All

of the teachers graduating that year were invited to stay another year, tuition

free, and earn a bachelor’s not just the three year teaching

certificate. But, although she rode the trains for free because her

father worked the railroads, she just couldn’t ask her parents for the

nickel a day for the bus in the morning. (She would walk back at the end

of the day and make the train connection but it wouldn’t work in the

morning.) For a nickel a day she was denied the education she longed for.

It turned out later that different people could have helped her but she was

afraid to ask.

I am hoping that

they don’t change your transportation, but I think you need to figure out

the annual cost of the gas and ask for help. If you have a religious affiliation,

perhaps the minister would document your letter describing your situation. I

would contact the nearest Rotary Club, Lions Club, or other civic group.

I would contact the guidance office at the school and ask if there is a fund to

help those in need, or a mini-grant available. We junior high teachers

put in a $1 into a box for a special cause on dress down days. The money

is given to different people in need. Maybe if your school does this, they

would give you one collection. I would contact the local houses of

worship, even if you don’t belong to them and ask if someone would

sponsor your son’s transportation. I need to think more about how

to phrase the letter, but others on this list serv might be able to help.

If you had to move for compelling reasons, I might include an

explanation. I might mention that at Christmas time many people

help others in need but your family needs Christmas in August. Or maybe

ask for them to sponsor $x per month to help with the gas. It sounds like

you are stretched thin, can your son help with someone’s animals to make

some money? Help with someone’s yard work?

I’m not sure

how to handle the wear and tear on your car. Before I was married, and

living on one income, I bartered tutoring the local mechanic’s son for

reduced prices on my many auto repairs. It seemed like the moment I had

any little windfall, like a tax refund, the car would know and break down and

drain me of my windfall.

About PE, if the

school is fine with his changing in the nurse’s office, I’d

probably continue. A lot of bullying takes place in the changing room,

but when there is a bullying problem, a male gym teacher or paraprofessional

will stay in the changing area. In the past couple of years, two of my

seventh graders had some issues with being bullied in the locker room and had

special accommodations. Quite frankly all of the other students are aware

that those two are different and most of today’s students have been

raised with other students needing all kinds of inclusion, accomodations,

etc. and don’t have a problem. There are always a

few nosey nasty kids who will want to use it as an excuse for ridicule, and one

boy who was being bullied left my class two minutes early. Noone else

asked about it, they knew the student was a bit different, but of course one

nosey student asked me. The conversation went like this:

“How come X

leaves class early?

“He needs to,

and if you needed to, we would do the same for you.â€

“Yah, but I

don’t get why he needs to!â€

“Then you don’t

need the accommodation, and I don’t discuss other student’s needs

with students. Can you let it drop?â€

My friend’s

husband is 62 and he always sits to pee. Oh well.

Hope this helps, we

are all cheering for you.

E.C.

From:

[mailto: ] On Behalf Of kvamp666

Sent: Wednesday, July 14, 2010

1:41 PM

To:

Subject: ( )

Getting ready for 7th grade......................... any ideas?

Hi everyone........... I really need some support, or

advice from parents who have older kids and survived middle school.

My son is 12, going into 7th grade. Last year was obviously his first year in

middle school. It was a challenge, but the teachers and counselors were great.

When he had trouble opening his locker, getting around the crowds, etc, they

gave him a private locker in the special ed. class, that didn't lock, so he

could have a much easier time using a locker. When he didn't want to change in

front of all the other boys, they let him change out in the nurses bathroom,

and did it fairly discreetly. He'd just drop off his gym bag in the office in

the morning, then during PE, he'd go into the office, grab his bag, use the

bathroom to change, and slip into class, right across the hall. The boys hardly

noticed that he wasn't changing in with them. But, some did notice and asked

why he got special priveleges.

Now, this year, we are having problems with transportation. Due to budget cuts,

he may not get bussing. We moved, so if he stays at this school, it's

"school of choice" and we may be responsible for transporting him.

We're pretty hard off financially, and I don't know if our cars would survive

the extra travel, as well as us being able to afford the extra gas money. We

are changing his IEP from "LD" back to "AS." Will that make

a difference in whether they have to transport him or not? Changing him to

another school right now would be so hard for him, and I just can't do it to

him. He would really struggle! Are there special allowances when the IEP is

changed, for bussing services? He is already freaking out about it, and

counting days til school starts, and every time we drive by his school, he says

"There's my school................... I hope." (He's our little human

GPS system, and every time we travel, he tells us places we pass. "There's

the library." "There's my sisters school." "There's the

pizza place.")

Transportation issues aside, what should I do about PE? I told him that the

boys all change in the locker room, and that he should do the same. He's really

noticing that he's different from the other kids, and so I tell him that if he

wants to fit in more, that he could try changing with them. He absolutely

refuses! This is a tough one. Puberty has hit. And he is very developed. And he

hates the fact that his body is changing without his permission! Should I just

let him change apart from the others again, and have him receiving special

allowances the other boys don't get? Some do notice, and ask why he doesn't

have to change in the locker room like the rest of them. Should I make him

change with the boys? What if the school won't let him change apart from them,

for whatever reason, and he had to change with them? How do you get your son to

strip in front of others and not freak out doing it? There is no special ed.

person to help him in there. What if he gets bullied? The boys locker room is

just this major fear..................... for both of us. It's a place a mom

can't get to, if her son gets in trouble. Sounds weird, huh? I can help him

anywhere else, but not there. What do moms do about the locker room situation?

BTW, do any moms have any ideas about how to get sons to stand up and pee? He

has no intention, and again, that makes him stand out among his peers. We have

no male authority figures at home. No brothers. Grandfather won't help. Does it

matter? I know he's not going to blend in with all the kids, all the time.

Should I pick the most important battles, and let the others go for now?

And the most important battle right now.............. what if they won't bus

him to the school of choice? What if we're given the ultimatum of drive him, or

change schools? The stupid part of this, is that he has to start out at the

school he had last year. Then, if they decide not to transport him, they change

schools AFTER he's already started the one he wants to be in. That's really

stupid, I think. But that's what they told us last year. Should I change

schools and make him tough it out? Do I give in and drive and hope we can

afford it? Do I switch to homeschooling? I just can't watch him go through this

pain again. (He's switched schools before, due to his IEP and lack of knowledge

on the part of the schools.)

Okay, well I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone could answer some, or any of

these questions, or tell me how your middle school experiences went, it would

be most helpful.

Thank you so much.

Kathy

In Colorado

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[Guest guest]

Wow, what a spot to be in. I am late in reading your post, have you gotten things figured out? I will keep reading posts and hope you update!

If they accept him as a student and he has an IEP, then transportation can be a related service and you can ask them to provide it in his IEP. I'm not sure how that works if you are out of that district and choose to go there but sounds like they do this a lot. So I would push to get the transportation in his IEP as a service. I mean, I would focus not on their in and out of district rules but the fact that he has an IEP and transportation is considered a related service and should be provided to sped students if needed. Hopefully they will work this out with you. Call his sped teacher and see if you can get someone to help on this.

PE is always a tough situation for some of our kids! I am sure you already heard great ideas and maybe I am repeating one already given - but we actually had our ds go to PE class 5 minutes early and so he went, changed out and was ready to go. Then he was allowed to leave class a few minutes sooner so he could change again. It worked really well for him. Other kids may notice and say things, but you will always get that. He can tell them he has AS and it makes it hard for him change fast enough or just ignore them or whatever he feels comfortable doing.

Roxanna

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

( ) Getting ready for 7th grade......................... any ideas?

Hi everyone........... I really need some support, or advice from parents who have older kids and survived middle school.

My son is 12, going into 7th grade. Last year was obviously his first year in middle school. It was a challenge, but the teachers and counselors were great. When he had trouble opening his locker, getting around the crowds, etc, they gave him a private locker in the special ed. class, that didn't lock, so he could have a much easier time using a locker. When he didn't want to change in front of all the other boys, they let him change out in the nurses bathroom, and did it fairly discreetly. He'd just drop off his gym bag in the office in the morning, then during PE, he'd go into the office, grab his bag, use the bathroom to change, and slip into class, right across the hall. The boys hardly noticed that he wasn't changing in with them. But, some did notice and asked why he got special priveleges.

Now, this year, we are having problems with transportation. Due to budget cuts, he may not get bussing. We moved, so if he stays at this school, it's "school of choice" and we may be responsible for transporting him. We're pretty hard off financially, and I don't know if our cars would survive the extra travel, as well as us being able to afford the extra gas money. We are changing his IEP from "LD" back to "AS." Will that make a difference in whether they have to transport him or not? Changing him to another school right now would be so hard for him, and I just can't do it to him. He would really struggle! Are there special allowances when the IEP is changed, for bussing services? He is already freaking out about it, and counting days til school starts, and every time we drive by his school, he says "There's my school................... I hope." (He's our little human GPS system, and every time we travel, he tells us places we pass. &

quot;There's the library." "There's my sisters school." "There's the pizza place.")

Transportation issues aside, what should I do about PE? I told him that the boys all change in the locker room, and that he should do the same. He's really noticing that he's different from the other kids, and so I tell him that if he wants to fit in more, that he could try changing with them. He absolutely refuses! This is a tough one. Puberty has hit. And he is very developed. And he hates the fact that his body is changing without his permission! Should I just let him change apart from the others again, and have him receiving special allowances the other boys don't get? Some do notice, and ask why he doesn't have to change in the locker room like the rest of them. Should I make him change with the boys? What if the school won't let him change apart from them, for whatever reason, and he had to change with them? How do you get your son to strip in front of others and not freak out doing it? There is no special ed. person to help him in there. What if he gets bullied? The bo

ys locker room is just this major fear..................... for both of us. It's a place a mom can't get to, if her son gets in trouble. Sounds weird, huh? I can help him anywhere else, but not there. What do moms do about the locker room situation? BTW, do any moms have any ideas about how to get sons to stand up and pee? He has no intention, and again, that makes him stand out among his peers. We have no male authority figures at home. No brothers. Grandfather won't help. Does it matter? I know he's not going to blend in with all the kids, all the time. Should I pick the most important battles, and let the others go for now?

And the most important battle right now.............. what if they won't bus him to the school of choice? What if we're given the ultimatum of drive him, or change schools? The stupid part of this, is that he has to start out at the school he had last year. Then, if they decide not to transport him, they change schools AFTER he's already started the one he wants to be in. That's really stupid, I think. But that's what they told us last year. Should I change schools and make him tough it out? Do I give in and drive and hope we can afford it? Do I switch to homeschooling? I just can't watch him go through this pain again. (He's switched schools before, due to his IEP and lack of knowledge on the part of the schools.)

Okay, well I've rambled quite a bit. If anyone could answer some, or any of these questions, or tell me how your middle school experiences went, it would be most helpful.

Thank you so much.

Kathy

In Colorado