Re: Re: update on bus driver issue, meeting

[Guest guest]

That is great, I am glad everyone came to a resolution. I am not sure if this suggestion will help, we use a spiral notebook as a back and forth book for the bus and I to communicate. The bus driver would like to be able to drop off my son and then move on to his next stop, this way he is not running behind. The para will write the note on how the bus ride went, and I usually write a note on how my son's morning went before the bus pick up. Anyway, this saves time. I do think it is a good idea that you are at the bus stop each day, this way the driver and para know you are looking out for your son. Way to go and advocate for your son, keep up the good work!

Dawn

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the posts on this topic. I have had ongoing problems with the bus

drivers my daughter has had since she started her spec ed preschools after Early

Intervention. In the beginning, she ended up acting out a very negative yelling

incident on the bus that obviously had greatly disturbed her. She is/was an

excellent mimic. It was like hearing a recording from inside the bus... the tone

of the driver, what she said to a T (b/c DD language wasn't that good at the

time she was 3), etc. I later discovered that a friend had a problem with this

driver as well. I complained but she was a long time employee. She did admit

that, at times, she did have to stop the bus and 'talk' to the kids. ? They are

3 years old and autistic.. what the heck is she going to " talk " about. (yell).

So, I started driving but got gas reimbursement.

Again, this year. The driver and his aide (and wife) seemed very friendly but

were teasing all the time and one time pretended there was a duck on the bus (DD

loves animals like crazy) complete with the driver using a duck call. Then one

day they let the duck off the bus and my daughter came home hysterical that she

never got to see the duck. It took forever for me to convince her that it was a

joke/pretend and was supposed to be silly but she couldn't get it for the

longest time and was devastated. Then the last straw was one day the driver was

pulling her winter had down over her eyes and she got mad. The aide said that

she wasn't going to be my DD's friend anymore and she lost it of course. I got

out of DD that she DID say she was sorry but I had had enough. She didn't need

that kind of stress!! So again I'm driving.

For the Fall, again we have a minibus but I did get some advice about dealing

with the bus driver. They aren't given diagnoses due to HIPPA laws so they

suggested I fill them in a bit. I have to think of the most important things. My

daughter SEEMS so normal to those who are uneducated and they just treat her

that way. And some people just don't understand or want to understand her

reactions. It really makes me angry.

Jen

DD 5yo Aspie

CLD

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>From: mimasdprofile <callis4773@...>

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>Sent: Fri, May 21, 2010 7:10:07 PM

>Subject: ( ) Re: update on bus driver issue, meeting

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>The meeting went very very well this morning. The meeting started with me

>>telling my understanding of things. Of course I'm an amazing diplomat so we

got

>>a good start. I don't want to ignore if has made a mistake or said things

>>that sound impolite because I want to teach him the right way. But I also made

>>it clear that was distressed and so was I. said, " I don't think the

>>bus driver likes me. " That was the first thing he said to me. Then I told all

>>the things I knew and made suggestions about what might have happened and

things

>>that I thought might have made feel bad and things that might have made

the

>>driver feel bad. 's guidance counselor then coached him through telling

>>things in his own perspective and did a GREAT job. He also seemed to be

in

>>agreement with most of what I said. I only had to remind him once or twice

that

>>it was another person's turn and didn't get angry or impulsive. We talked

>>about things that the driver could expect from and explained that

will

>>get a phrase in his head and use it and not really KNOW that it's mean or

>>threatening. Apparently, said, " It would be in your best interest to turn

>>off the music. " To the bus driver. and the driver were in agreement that

>>this is what was said. So then it was a matter of helping understand that

>>this is something someone might find threatening and helping the driver learn

>>ways to handle it when says something that seems off. I suggested asking

>> to try to say it in a nicer way. He responds to that very favorably. If

>>the driver said, " can you try to say that in a nicer way? " I think would

>>work on it. I also pointed out to the driver that telling he would " put

it

>>on report " might be something didn't understand and that he might feel

>>threatened by it. I suggested the driver say, " I think we need to talk to your

>>mom about it. " I'm going to start coming out to the bus every day to find out

>>how things are going so that I know. I haven't gotten any reports all year but

>>apparently things have been bad all year. I made sure EVERYONE knew that it

was

>>miraculous didn't hit anyone in all of this and that we really should

give

>>him credit for the AMAZING progress he's made. The driver said he will turn

>>down the music if it is bothering and we've suggested to that he

say,

>> " the music is hurting my ears " instead of " TURN OFF THE MUSIC " . We talked

about

>>the fact that if the driver suggested might not be able to take the bus

any

>>more that he might think it meant being " thrown off the bus " literally.

>>said, " I didn't think THAT! " LOL. Anyway, I don't know what the driver said

>>about throwing off the bus, we may never know exactly what was said. The

>>driver was a little defensive at first, but could see I was willing to talk

and

>>work rather than point fingers. If he's a decent guy, and the school staff

>>think he is, then he'll work with us rather than against us.

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