Re: Team sports

[Guest guest]

Hi Lesley,

In general, team sports are a mystery to ASD children, they often have no

concept of working together nor for trying to win. As enjoys the

practice sessions, I would have a word with the coach and ask if he can just

attend those (he probably wouldn't notice that the others talk about the

matches and how well they did anyway). Many with ASD do find that judo or

taekwondo are more to their taste - these tend to be very structured in

their sessions I believe, so the child knows what is going to happen.

in England

[Guest guest]

Can anyone advise me please on the value of team

sports for my 7 year

old with Aspergers?

****Lesley, team sports started out fine

for my son now 12. However, as they became more complex they didn’t work

for him at all and have left him with a life long bad feeling about them. He

still says “I hate team sports”. If he wants to continue I would

send him to training only and disclose the situation to the coach. Personally,

I think the Judo class is a great idea. I would line this up and tell him two

activities would be too much, but would he like to learn Judo. I know a number

of kids who have had success with the martial arts. Swimming is another great

activity but not a team. My son loves to swim with a buddy. My son has

been riding Horse Back for 2 years now. He also takes Trombone lessons. A few

weeks ago he started a ‘Fencing’ class. He is enjoying the class

because of his intense interest in medieval weaponry. There are about a dozen

kids so this is a bit tough. Interestingly it is not the activity of 12 kids

that bothers him. There is one kid who is very disruptive and does not ‘follow

the rules’. says he can’t stand “insubordination”

and this kid should be expelled from the class…I have had to explain this

isn’t going to happen, so he has to find a way to deal with the kid or

not take the class. Fencing is quite intense, so at this time I would not

recommend this as an activity for most ASD kids, but for my son it is working.

I think the Judo sounds great and I would talk to the teacher ahead of time

about your son….Gail

..

[Guest guest]

Lesley,

We found team sports to be counter productive with Tyler. Though he enjoyed

the low stress practices and being around other kids, he really was not able

to do what was needed at game time. This manifested itself as chewing on his

shirt, spinning in circles with a finger on the top center of his head,

standing to one side of the soccer field, letting everyone close to him know

that he was going to wait there until the ball came to him, cheerleading at

the sidelines rather than actively participating on the field, becoming

obsessed with getting a spot out of his uniform, etc... I could go on!!!

Anyway, we found that although he wasn't having a " bad time " , there were

other sports that would help him advance more physically, emotionally, and

socially. The best for Tyler have been martial arts and swimming. He is

still around other kids who are doing the same things he is. He still is

practicing with them. Yet, his advancement, his achievement, his involvement

is all very individualized. Instructors for both stress doing your " personal

best " and I found ones that really were positive and encouraging as he

struggled to overcome challenges. Martial arts was absolutely hands down the

best sports experience he has ever had. He was in for almost 4 years and

earned his black belt. The instructor had both a degree in martial arts as

well as one in child psychology. He never let Tyler or any other kiddo give

up on themselves, reinforced positive behaviors and interactions, stressed

respect for themselves and each other, and was highly motivational.

When Tyler started Tae Kwon Do, he would fall over if he put his hands down

to his sides and stood with his feet together. He had major sensory issues

(SID) He was unable to stand still, he couldn't hop on one foot, and he

certainly couldn't kick and remain standing... Now... Well, if Tyler wants

to do something physical, he pretty much can, save catching flying objects

or walking a tightrope... hehehe

Now Tyler has moved on to trying new physical activities. He is in a fencing

class once a week and an archery class once a week. He has learned how to

make friends within these environments (thanks to his martial arts

instructor) and he is less stressed with the environment than he was with

team sports (Football last year, though he tried his best to stay on task

and to deal with the pressure, was really close to disastrous, even with all

the skills he has learned... The coach just didn't understand anything other

than winning and thought if he browbeat Tyler enough or threatened him

enough, that Tyler would mold into some sort of athlete due to his build...

NOT!!! All it did was increase his tics, his stress level, and decrease his

ability to function.)

Tyler no longer has a desire to be in team sports, even though he works well

in teams now within a school, club, or social environment. He has decided

that being physically challenged isn't something he needs to compete with

others on. He can challenge himself enough without others stressing him out.

He also has learned that he has strengths in areas that the " football

players can only dream of having " . He is very proud of his scholastic

achievements and now has found a group of kids who accept him and admire him

for the abilities he does have. He has even begun his own little " group " of

" misfits " (a nickname they have given themselves). They range from others on

the spectrum, some who have gone through traumatic experiences, some who are

young Einstein's, and some who are just shy and haven't been pulled into

another crowd. They all are very proud that they won't touch drugs/alcohol,

are choosing abstinence, value grades, insist on honesty/integrity, and

above all, must accept the others in the group " as is " . There is no changing

others, and anyone is welcome as long as they fit this basic criteria. His

group of friends ranges from 5th graders to 9th graders and they all get

along well together (yep, my house has become a major traffic zone, as they

don't all go to the same schools and some are home-schooled in our

neighborhood)Yet they play computer games, video games, Bionicals, board

games, Shogi, action figures, read books from the same authors and discuss

the plots, belong to the same " intellectual clubs " , etc. Many have a

religious background, though the religions vary. None have any criminal

records or have ever gotten kicked out of school. None have been known as

the " bully " . I am not even sure how it started (since the summer, this has

all come about), but I can say that I am tickled that it has...

Anyway, individual sports really helped Tyler grow in ways I would never

have expected!!!

~hugs~

Rabecca

[Guest guest]

Tyler sounds wonderful!!!

And yes, I think you are right, judo may be the

answer. Talking to a friend yesterday she recommended

very highly an instructor who takes classes at

's school after school finishes. is

very keen so I think I will enrol him.

Thanks for the lovely posting. Your family sounds

great!

Lesley

Hong Kong

--- Rabecca Whalen <rabeccawhalen@...> wrote:

> Lesley,

>

> We found team sports to be counter productive with

> Tyler. Though he enjoyed

> the low stress practices and being around other

> kids, he really was not able

> to do what was needed at game time. This manifested

> itself as chewing on his

> shirt, spinning in circles with a finger on the top

> center of his head,

> standing to one side of the soccer field, letting

> everyone close to him know

> that he was going to wait there until the ball came

> to him, cheerleading at

> the sidelines rather than actively participating on

> the field, becoming

> obsessed with getting a spot out of his uniform,

> etc... I could go on!!!

>

> Anyway, we found that although he wasn't having a

> " bad time " , there were

> other sports that would help him advance more

> physically, emotionally, and

> socially. The best for Tyler have been martial arts

> and swimming. He is

> still around other kids who are doing the same

> things he is. He still is

> practicing with them. Yet, his advancement, his

> achievement, his involvement

> is all very individualized. Instructors for both

> stress doing your " personal

> best " and I found ones that really were positive and

> encouraging as he

> struggled to overcome challenges. Martial arts was

> absolutely hands down the

> best sports experience he has ever had. He was in

> for almost 4 years and

> earned his black belt. The instructor had both a

> degree in martial arts as

> well as one in child psychology. He never let Tyler

> or any other kiddo give

> up on themselves, reinforced positive behaviors and

> interactions, stressed

> respect for themselves and each other, and was

> highly motivational.

>

> When Tyler started Tae Kwon Do, he would fall over

> if he put his hands down

> to his sides and stood with his feet together. He

> had major sensory issues

> (SID) He was unable to stand still, he couldn't hop

> on one foot, and he

> certainly couldn't kick and remain standing...

> Now... Well, if Tyler wants

> to do something physical, he pretty much can, save

> catching flying objects

> or walking a tightrope... hehehe

>

> Now Tyler has moved on to trying new physical

> activities. He is in a fencing

> class once a week and an archery class once a week.

> He has learned how to

> make friends within these environments (thanks to

> his martial arts

> instructor) and he is less stressed with the

> environment than he was with

> team sports (Football last year, though he tried his

> best to stay on task

> and to deal with the pressure, was really close to

> disastrous, even with all

> the skills he has learned... The coach just didn't

> understand anything other

> than winning and thought if he browbeat Tyler enough

> or threatened him

> enough, that Tyler would mold into some sort of

> athlete due to his build...

> NOT!!! All it did was increase his tics, his stress

> level, and decrease his

> ability to function.)

>

> Tyler no longer has a desire to be in team sports,

> even though he works well

> in teams now within a school, club, or social

> environment. He has decided

> that being physically challenged isn't something he

> needs to compete with

> others on. He can challenge himself enough without

> others stressing him out.

> He also has learned that he has strengths in areas

> that the " football

> players can only dream of having " . He is very proud

> of his scholastic

> achievements and now has found a group of kids who

> accept him and admire him

> for the abilities he does have. He has even begun

> his own little " group " of

> " misfits " (a nickname they have given themselves).

> They range from others on

> the spectrum, some who have gone through traumatic

> experiences, some who are

> young Einstein's, and some who are just shy and

> haven't been pulled into

> another crowd. They all are very proud that they

> won't touch drugs/alcohol,

> are choosing abstinence, value grades, insist on

> honesty/integrity, and

> above all, must accept the others in the group " as

> is " . There is no changing

> others, and anyone is welcome as long as they fit

> this basic criteria. His

> group of friends ranges from 5th graders to 9th

> graders and they all get

> along well together (yep, my house has become a

> major traffic zone, as they

> don't all go to the same schools and some are

> home-schooled in our

> neighborhood)Yet they play computer games, video

> games, Bionicals, board

> games, Shogi, action figures, read books from the

> same authors and discuss

> the plots, belong to the same " intellectual clubs " ,

> etc. Many have a

> religious background, though the religions vary.

> None have any criminal

> records or have ever gotten kicked out of school.

> None have been known as

> the " bully " . I am not even sure how it started

> (since the summer, this has

> all come about), but I can say that I am tickled

> that it has...

>

> Anyway, individual sports really helped Tyler grow

> in ways I would never

> have expected!!!

>

> ~hugs~

> Rabecca

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

Lesley,

Well, we love him! ~winks~ Honestly, if we aren't cheering on our

children, who will. I am a firm believer that you get what you pay

the most attention to... If you look for the positive and make the

most out of it, the positive will increase. Likewise, if you obsess

on the negative and it is all the kid hears about, you will likely

have an increase in negative behavior... It doesn't solve all our

problems, but it sure makes our days flow better!!!

~hugs~

Rabecca

(Tyler's personal cheering section)

> Tyler sounds wonderful!!!

>

> And yes, I think you are right, judo may be the

> answer. Talking to a friend yesterday she recommended

> very highly an instructor who takes classes at

> 's school after school finishes. is

> very keen so I think I will enrol him.

>

> Thanks for the lovely posting. Your family sounds

> great!

>

> Lesley

> Hong Kong

[Guest guest]

I always wished there were camps for these kids, but my child does not get a long with kids like herself either.On Aug 10, 2010, at 1:50 PM, gina9431@... wrote:

My experience says to wait and see how it goes. For example, last year I tried to educate the bus driver prior to school. Turns out she had an autistic child on her bus the year before, who she had to send to the special needs bus because of his behavior. From day one, I felt she targeted my son because of her "bad" experience the year before. She made him sit directly behind her in the only seat belt on the bus. My son is a talker and can be loud, so she could here absolutely everything he did....and she was totally focused on finding him doing things wrong. Within 3 weeks she was threatening to kick him off the bus, and for things that were not even that bad (in my opinion). You can't tell me the other kids on the bus were not being loud and talking!! He wants to try to ride the bus again this year (that driver was suppose to retire), and I do not plan on mentioning anything. I will advise my son to sit towards the back if he can, where he can be less noticeable to the driver.I also waited to mention this to the counselors at his boyscout camp. I finally told them after my son took a marker to camp and put "X" marks on all the kids he did not like (I'm not sure how he did this....I was to appalled to ask"). Anyway, I felt I needed to tell them at the point. They were totally clueless, even after I told them, and he was still sent home from camp the last 2 days for his behavior. I had even told her some things she could do to help, but that didn't seem to matter.There is always the change you will have a coach that understands autism or that will be understanding. My experience tells me that most people do not understand autism and pointing it out will only put a target on my sons back. I have started to wait until his behavior warrants me telling, but you are right......there are benefits to telling and not telling....mostly depending on who you are dealing with and their experience/patience wi!

th autism.Aug 10, 2010 08:50:59 AM, wrote:>

>

My son is 6 and going into 1st grade this year. Although we've been dealing with >symptoms for years, last year he was officially diagnosed with Asperger's. He played >on a soccer team over the summer and for the most part he enjoyed it. We thought >it was a great socialization opportunity for him so we've signed him up for another >league that starts tonight. This new league is more recreational and the coaches >are parents. My son did pretty well last season but definitely required a little >more direction than some of the other kids. He also likes to "debate" >his opinion which is something we're working on.>

>

Should I let the coach know ahead of time that my son requires a more strict >environment or wait to see how things go tonight? I can see the positive and negative >in doing either, so I'd appreciate some input.>

>

Thanks!>

>

[Guest guest]

, I wish there were more camps for Asperger kids, as well. I'd love to have

someplace where she could learn and practice with other kids who are doing that

very same thing. It's very expensive for one thing and, as you mentioned, my dd

doesn't have much luck with any kids. She tries so hard to 'fit in' and wants to

be popular. It's difficult knowing that her dream of that is a bit of a

longshot, you know? Kari

> >

> > >

> > >

> > My son is 6 and going into 1st grade this year. Although we've been dealing

with

> > >symptoms for years, last year he was officially diagnosed with Asperger's.

He played

> > >on a soccer team over the summer and for the most part he enjoyed it. We

thought

> > >it was a great socialization opportunity for him so we've signed him up for

another

> > >league that starts tonight. This new league is more recreational and the

coaches

> > >are parents. My son did pretty well last season but definitely required a

little

> > >more direction than some of the other kids. He also likes to " debate "

> > >his opinion which is something we're working on.

> > >

> > > Should I let the coach know ahead of time that my son requires a more

strict

> > >environment or wait to see how things go tonight? I can see the positive

and negative

> > >in doing either, so I'd appreciate some input.

> > >

> > > Thanks!

> > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>