Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

[Guest guest]

Andie,

I am smiling cause this is very similar to my son, he recognises numbers in hundreds of thousands, but he dislikes adding and subtracting, he is 6 as well, he likes reading, so we do the maths first and save the reading as a treat, or offer rewards like going to the park as soon as he finishes his homework.

I am in Scotland, he is starting primary 2 in 2 weeks, so we are just taking a deep breath and hoping for the best.

From: andie <andie6294@...>Subject: ( ) Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!! Date: Wednesday, 5 August, 2009, 9:03 AM

DD is 6 and will be going into 1st grade. K was a pain, but the teacher adapted and managed to get A. through the year. Homework was, of course, very simple and very brief, so I managed to pull her through it most of the time without too much of a struggle.A. has a heck of a time with math and handwriting, and trying to explain things to her is more painful than ice picks under the fingernails. She seems to get very anxious and gets distracted by everything to avoid doing her work.Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

[Guest guest]

As always ymmv, but I can say for my son it did get better for regular homework. He became very focused on organization, schedules and lists in fifth grade and was able to start homework and complete it with virtually no prompting on my part. He recognized when he needed to ask for help and did so. Now special projects were a bit more difficult for him particularly if not broken into manageable bits with some due dates for intermediate pieces of the project. Now we home school and we work on daily and weekly lists and he is largely able and willing to initiate and complete the majority of his work without prompting. ' Course puberty has brought a different set of challenges, but then again that's true for NT kids too, lol. Anyway, having a reduced homework load helped my ds in the early years as well as having a set time for homework and having a visual schedule for him to follow. Hang in there it does get better.Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerryFrom: "andie" Date: Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:03:10 -0000< >Subject: ( ) Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!! DD is 6 and will be going into 1st grade. K was a pain, but the teacher adapted and managed to get A. through the year. Homework was, of course, very simple and very brief, so I managed to pull her through it most of the time without too much of a struggle. A. has a heck of a time with math and handwriting, and trying to explain things to her is more painful than ice picks under the fingernails. She seems to get very anxious and gets distracted by everything to avoid doing her work. Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

[Guest guest]

Do you have an IEP for her? You can have them put a modification in the IEP for

either no homework or a time limit to the amount of homework you will do with

her after school. If you don't have an IEP in place now is the age to start.

Request an evaluation, in writting, and get the ball rolling.

Vickie

>

> DD is 6 and will be going into 1st grade. K was a pain, but the teacher

adapted and managed to get A. through the year. Homework was, of course, very

simple and very brief, so I managed to pull her through it most of the time

without too much of a struggle.

>

> A. has a heck of a time with math and handwriting, and trying to explain

things to her is more painful than ice picks under the fingernails. She seems

to get very anxious and gets distracted by everything to avoid doing her work.

>

> Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have

a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will

EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get

something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step

of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

>

[Guest guest]

>

> Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have

a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will

EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get

something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step

of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

If I had it to do over again...

I would do lots of evaluating and push the school to do lots of evaluating and

observing--neuropsych and educational. I would try to pin down exactly why she

is struggling. Aside from the formal testing, I would analyze all the work she

brings home, or doesn't bring home, and look for patterns, so I could help the

evaluators. I think you are very wise to try to nip this in the bud.

I would make sure I was not the only one doing the hand-holding. My advise

would be to decide what is reasonable as far as effort and time expended each

night--ask the teacher how long the homework is supposed to be taking if you

aren't sure--and stop at that point (or whatever you decide is reasonable).

Send the teacher a note explaining why you had to stop before your dd was done

with her homework. Obviously you may want to discuss this with them first--I

would ask a school administrator to attend the meeting. I would stand firm on

this, as something needs to happen if homework is counterproductive. I wouldn't

let homework destroy our family life the way I did, if I had it to do over

again.

I wish I had never agreed to have my child do work at home that was supposed to

be done in class. That was the start of a bad thing. I should have refused and

let the school administration know that was going on if the teacher couldn't

work something out. In any case, I should have made sure that got documented

properly. Some kind of accommodation--and possibly intervention if

appropriate--should be happening if your child can't get their class work done

satisfactorily. The teacher should not be sending it home and making you do it,

thereby brushing the problem under the rug.

It was my first reaction to want to help the teacher out with my " difficult "

child and to want to make sure my child gets a good education. So, I went above

and beyond what is expected. This is only okay if the school knows what is

going on and is doing their part too. If not, it really doesn't help anyone,

not in the long run. It keeps the school from understanding what your child

needs, which keeps your child from getting help for longer. It affects you

family life in a very negative way.

It was hard for me feel right about not making my son do his homework if he got

too upset or it was taking too long. I didn't have the nerve to do it until an

assistant principal ordered me to so she could see how the teachers handled my

son and his problems on their own. In retrospect, that was one of the pivotal

things that got my son the full special ed services he needed. I wish I'd done

it way back where you are at and gotten the ball rolling sooner.

I've never gone back to doing the way over and beyond thing regarding school

work because now I can see that my son and the school need to figure these

things out between them. Not that I don't still do a lot, but it is " with " the

school and my son. We share the load, rather than me bearing the major burden.

If something is too much, we drop it and find another way to accomplish that

part of his education. Sometimes everyone has to be kind of indirect about

things because of all the legalities involved in education these days, but we

manage.

[Guest guest]

I'm anxious to hear what others say about this,,,,,,,,,,and I'm kind of "pitifully" giggling as I'm reading and responding.....

But,,,

I, personally, think you've just got a lot of years of struggling. Sadly.

Staying calm, of course, helps. Age has seemed to help us, too. But, then again, we pulled him from school after 5th grade, so it got 100% better. (He's now decided to try a small, parochial school for 8th this fall).

Definitely get on a good speaking-base with the teachers. Teach them, if they'll listen.

The more they understand, the better.

Take a deep breath. We've all been there or are still there......he he.

Robin

"Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine"

From: andie <andie6294@...>Subject: ( ) Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!! Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 3:03 AM

DD is 6 and will be going into 1st grade. K was a pain, but the teacher adapted and managed to get A. through the year. Homework was, of course, very simple and very brief, so I managed to pull her through it most of the time without too much of a struggle.A. has a heck of a time with math and handwriting, and trying to explain things to her is more painful than ice picks under the fingernails. She seems to get very anxious and gets distracted by everything to avoid doing her work.Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

[Guest guest]

Wow, you said it perfectly.

I TOTALLY agree about the wishing you had let the school take on more responsibility. I, too, tried to make it easier for THEM to deal with MY kid. I think we all do, don't we?Ugh.

Great post.

Man,,,,if we had to do it all over again, we sure would do it differently and BETTER, wouldn't we? But,,,I sure wouldn't want to do it all over again.......he he.

Robin

"Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!! Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM

>> Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!If I had it to do over again...I would do lots of evaluating and push the school to do lots of evaluating and observing--neuropsy ch and educational. I would try to pin down exactly why she is struggling. Aside from the formal testing, I would analyze all the work she brings home, or doesn't

bring home, and look for patterns, so I could help the evaluators. I think you are very wise to try to nip this in the bud.I would make sure I was not the only one doing the hand-holding. My advise would be to decide what is reasonable as far as effort and time expended each night--ask the teacher how long the homework is supposed to be taking if you aren't sure--and stop at that point (or whatever you decide is reasonable). Send the teacher a note explaining why you had to stop before your dd was done with her homework. Obviously you may want to discuss this with them first--I would ask a school administrator to attend the meeting. I would stand firm on this, as something needs to happen if homework is counterproductive. I wouldn't let homework destroy our family life the way I did, if I had it to do over again.I wish I had never agreed to have my child do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. That was the start of a bad

thing. I should have refused and let the school administration know that was going on if the teacher couldn't work something out. In any case, I should have made sure that got documented properly. Some kind of accommodation- -and possibly intervention if appropriate- -should be happening if your child can't get their class work done satisfactorily. The teacher should not be sending it home and making you do it, thereby brushing the problem under the rug.It was my first reaction to want to help the teacher out with my "difficult" child and to want to make sure my child gets a good education. So, I went above and beyond what is expected. This is only okay if the school knows what is going on and is doing their part too. If not, it really doesn't help anyone, not in the long run. It keeps the school from understanding what your child needs, which keeps your child from getting help for longer. It affects you family life in a very negative

way.It was hard for me feel right about not making my son do his homework if he got too upset or it was taking too long. I didn't have the nerve to do it until an assistant principal ordered me to so she could see how the teachers handled my son and his problems on their own. In retrospect, that was one of the pivotal things that got my son the full special ed services he needed. I wish I'd done it way back where you are at and gotten the ball rolling sooner. I've never gone back to doing the way over and beyond thing regarding school work because now I can see that my son and the school need to figure these things out between them. Not that I don't still do a lot, but it is "with" the school and my son. We share the load, rather than me bearing the major burden. If something is too much, we drop it and find another way to accomplish that part of his education. Sometimes everyone has to be kind of indirect about things because of all the

legalities involved in education these days, but we manage.

[Guest guest]

Just want to thank everyone for this great advice!

My son is 7 and going into 2nd grade. We have an IEP in place but I

anticipate many struggles this year as the absolute limit of my son's

attention span is 6 minutes and his organizational skills are a total

lack thereof no matter how hard I try!

I will use this as a guideline!

They just made the school day longer, so my son won't even be home unti

4pm. (gulp)

On Wed, Aug 5, 2009 at 11:23 AM , and/or Robin Lemke wrote:

> Wow, you said it perfectly.

> I TOTALLY agree about the wishing you had let the school take on more

> responsibility.  I, too, tried to make it easier for THEM to deal with

> MY kid.  I think we all do, don't we?

> Ugh.

> Great post.

> Man,,,,if we had to do it all over again, we sure would do it

> differently and BETTER, wouldn't we?  But,,,I sure wouldn't want to do

> it all over again.......he he.

>  

> Robin " Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine "

>

>

>

>

> From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

>

> Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM

>

>

>  

>

>

> --- In

[Guest guest]

>

> Man,,,,if we had to do it all over again, we sure would do it differently and

BETTER, wouldn't we?  But,,,I sure wouldn't want to do it all over

again.......he he.

LOL, Robin, you are funny! Thanks for your support and thanks for lightening my

day.

[Guest guest]

When I was the child, I really struggled because nobody was aware of this

syndrome or what to do. They sent me to summer school once or twice, but the

last time I remember that I loved summer school. Turns out they sent me to one

grade higher by a miscommunication. I loved it because I was not bored with old

repetitions like add and subtraction. Keep their minds busy!

What I had needed was a challenge. I got worse again in math (not concentrating

and missing homework) until 11th when I met someone in geometry class who wanted

to beat me on test scores (I usually missed one). I liked that and got 100% so

he couldn't. I switched to Straight A's in math the rest of High School.

Fun stuff... Next school year I decided to send my Aspie (12) back to Regan

Academy which focuses better on individual needs and keeps evaluating in case

they need a different level of complexity in their course.

[Guest guest]



You know what.. MAKE them earn their money at that school! I spent too many years doing whatever I could to make thier lives easier and it made my life a living HELL.

You do what is right for you and your son ONLY!!

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!> > Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM>>> >>> --- In

[Guest guest]



Thanks for the words of wisdom, a! Have no doubt...I most certainly will!

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!> > Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM>>> >>> --- In

[Guest guest]

I personally have a very different take on this. I think teachers do plenty to earn their money. I could really go off on a tangent on that one, but I won't. I understand people get frustrated, but if you enter the school year with an attitude like it's "their problem", I'm not sure you're going to like the results. Even when I thought I was going to bite my tongue in two, I did what I could to work with the teachers and try to support them as best as I could. Of course, this didn't mean at the expense of my son's education, but you have to try to strike a harmonious balance between supporting the school staff and advocating for your child. Doesn't mean you have to agree with everything they say, but if you disagree, you should do it with kindness whenever possible.

I think there are times I've done too much too, don't get me wrong. But I wasn't doing it to help the teachers. I was doing it to help my son (That was my goal, at least. Not sure it always helped the way I wanted.) Bottom line is I want him to learn and have good experiences at school as much as possible. If the teachers think I'm not invested in the outcome as his mama, I'd worry about the outcome.

"Over-optimism is waiting for you ship to come in when you haven't sent one out."

From: a Ayotte <phrayotte@...> Sent: Wednesday, August 5, 2009 3:46:45 PMSubject: Re: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

 You know what.. MAKE them earn their money at that school! I spent too many years doing whatever I could to make thier lives easier and it made my life a living HELL.

You do what is right for you and your son ONLY!!

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!> > Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM>>> >>> --- In

[Guest guest]

Another thing with homework...if your child has an IEP....you can request a reduction in the homework...explain about the battles and how long it takes.

Jan

Janice Rushen

"I will try to be open to all avenues of wisdom and hope"

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!! Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 9:49 AM

>> Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!If I had it to do over again...I would do lots of evaluating and push the school to do lots of evaluating and observing--neuropsy ch and educational. I would try to pin down exactly why she is struggling. Aside from the formal testing, I would analyze all the work she brings home, or doesn't bring home, and look for patterns, so

I could help the evaluators. I think you are very wise to try to nip this in the bud.I would make sure I was not the only one doing the hand-holding. My advise would be to decide what is reasonable as far as effort and time expended each night--ask the teacher how long the homework is supposed to be taking if you aren't sure--and stop at that point (or whatever you decide is reasonable). Send the teacher a note explaining why you had to stop before your dd was done with her homework. Obviously you may want to discuss this with them first--I would ask a school administrator to attend the meeting. I would stand firm on this, as something needs to happen if homework is counterproductive. I wouldn't let homework destroy our family life the way I did, if I had it to do over again.I wish I had never agreed to have my child do work at home that was supposed to be done in class. That was the start of a bad thing. I should have refused and let

the school administration know that was going on if the teacher couldn't work something out. In any case, I should have made sure that got documented properly. Some kind of accommodation- -and possibly intervention if appropriate- -should be happening if your child can't get their class work done satisfactorily. The teacher should not be sending it home and making you do it, thereby brushing the problem under the rug.It was my first reaction to want to help the teacher out with my "difficult" child and to want to make sure my child gets a good education. So, I went above and beyond what is expected. This is only okay if the school knows what is going on and is doing their part too. If not, it really doesn't help anyone, not in the long run. It keeps the school from understanding what your child needs, which keeps your child from getting help for longer. It affects you family life in a very negative way.It was hard for me feel right about

not making my son do his homework if he got too upset or it was taking too long. I didn't have the nerve to do it until an assistant principal ordered me to so she could see how the teachers handled my son and his problems on their own. In retrospect, that was one of the pivotal things that got my son the full special ed services he needed. I wish I'd done it way back where you are at and gotten the ball rolling sooner. I've never gone back to doing the way over and beyond thing regarding school work because now I can see that my son and the school need to figure these things out between them. Not that I don't still do a lot, but it is "with" the school and my son. We share the load, rather than me bearing the major burden. If something is too much, we drop it and find another way to accomplish that part of his education. Sometimes everyone has to be kind of indirect about things because of all the legalities involved in education these days,

but we manage.

[Guest guest]

>

> Another thing with homework...if your child has an IEP....you can request a

reduction in the homework...explain about the battles and how long it takes.

You can also do this with a 504. Be careful how it is worded though. For my

son, it is something like 20 percent reduction without a change in content. You

don't want your child ending up with an unofficially modified curriculum.

[Guest guest]

Good morning,

My daughter was the same way at that age, and we had many years of tears. It does get a little better, but one thing I wanted to make sure to let you know was that when my daughter was that age, we would do homework in 10 minute segments. And, we had a set routine, like when she got home from school, she had a snack, but then we would work on her least favorite subject--she got to pick.

Then, I would let her play for awhile, then tackle the next one. But, we never went over 30 minutes. You have to cut it off at that length of time because these kids have spent all their energy on "holding it together" during the school day, and they do not need any additional struggles when they get home.

We learned this the hard way. And, she's now going into 7th grade, and yes, we have it in her IEP that she has reduced homework. Some teachers, especially last year's math teachers, weren't happy about that, but then, they wanted her to "do more of her homework" when she had an "A" in the class. Homework is meant to re-inforce skills and to give practice, but when a child already has something mastered, then it just becomes punitive for these kids that are so sensitive.

Let her be a child when she's at home, and yes, things will be a struggle, particularly at her age, but it gets better eventually. I wish I'd known then what I know now, that's for sure!

Kathie

[Guest guest]

What is the protocol in the assessments, my son is 6 and being assess to see if he has Aspergers. His first assessment was 2 hours long and seemed to put him under a lot of presure, it was hard to sit back and say nothing to help him when he was obviously struggling. We have been told that his next assessment will last a whole morning or afternoon, do I have any rights to step in and ask for a break for him?

From: Kathie <katynorth@...>Subject: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!! Date: Thursday, 6 August, 2009, 12:44 PM

Good morning,

My daughter was the same way at that age, and we had many years of tears. It does get a little better, but one thing I wanted to make sure to let you know was that when my daughter was that age, we would do homework in 10 minute segments. And, we had a set routine, like when she got home from school, she had a snack, but then we would work on her least favorite subject--she got to pick.

Then, I would let her play for awhile, then tackle the next one. But, we never went over 30 minutes. You have to cut it off at that length of time because these kids have spent all their energy on "holding it together" during the school day, and they do not need any additional struggles when they get home.

We learned this the hard way. And, she's now going into 7th grade, and yes, we have it in her IEP that she has reduced homework. Some teachers, especially last year's math teachers, weren't happy about that, but then, they wanted her to "do more of her homework" when she had an "A" in the class. Homework is meant to re-inforce skills and to give practice, but when a child already has something mastered, then it just becomes punitive for these kids that are so sensitive.

Let her be a child when she's at home, and yes, things will be a struggle, particularly at her age, but it gets better eventually. I wish I'd known then what I know now, that's for sure!

Kathie

[Guest guest]



Well, my sons school career has been filled with nothing but lies and promises that have never come to fruit.. I have listened to a school district that personally is not worth even being part of and most of what I have had to deal with comes from the teachers saying 'I completely understand him' and then getting a horrible phone call or note saying that he 'cant do this that or the other thing'... its not that he CANT its that they DONT want to take the time to 'understand' him.. and they are amazed when they find he CAN but that is only when a parent steps in and tells them how to do THEIR job.

I am sure they are good school districts but I am NOT in one of them.

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!> > Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM>>> >>> --- In

[Guest guest]

The point of the assesment is to see how he compares to the average and where he

is deficient. If he takes breaks that would not be taken by the 'average' child

than the results may not show accurately where he is deficient. Of course it is

not fun to watch your son struggle but they need to be able to see how he

struggles in order to evaluate his needs. I would recommend that you let the

assessments proceed without any breaks other than what they provide.

Vickie

>

>

> From: Kathie <katynorth@...>

> Subject: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

>

> Date: Thursday, 6 August, 2009, 12:44 PM

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

> Good morning,

> My daughter was the same way at that age, and we had many years of tears.  It

does get a little better, but one thing I wanted to make sure to let you know

was that when my daughter was that age, we would do homework in 10 minute

segments.  And, we had a set routine, like when she got home from school, she

had a snack, but then we would work on her least favorite subject--she got to

pick.

>  

> Then, I would let her play for awhile, then tackle the next one.  But, we

never went over 30 minutes.  You have to cut it off at that length of time

because these kids have spent all their energy on " holding it together " during

the school day, and they do not need any additional struggles when they get

home.

>  

> We learned this the hard way.  And, she's now going into 7th grade, and yes,

we have it in her IEP that she has reduced homework.  Some teachers, especially

last year's math teachers, weren't happy about that, but then, they wanted her

to " do more of her homework " when she had an " A " in the class.  Homework is

meant to re-inforce skills and to give practice, but when a child already has

something mastered, then it just becomes punitive for these kids that are so

sensitive.

>  

> Let her be a child when she's at home, and yes, things will be a struggle,

particularly at her age, but it gets better eventually.  I wish I'd known then

what I know now, that's for sure!

>  

> Kathie

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Robin! I hope the school works out for him. Let us know how it is going! We are e-schooling again this year. It's really not too bad (she says before she goes crazy....) lol

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 3:03 AM

DD is 6 and will be going into 1st grade. K was a pain, but the teacher adapted and managed to get A. through the year. Homework was, of course, very simple and very brief, so I managed to pull her through it most of the time without too much of a struggle.

A. has a heck of a time with math and handwriting, and trying to explain things to her is more painful than ice picks under the fingernails. She seems to get very anxious and gets distracted by everything to avoid doing her work.

Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

[Guest guest]

You need to get an evaluation done right off the bat. Gather work samples from last year if you saved any. Document how much time you spent. Put your request for an evaluation in writing. Be sure it includes OT for fine motor AND handwriting. A full educational evaluation can pinpoint any problems in subject material as well. You need to determine what the problem is before you will know how to handle it.

Handwriting is so overlooked as a serious problem but it does not get better on it's own - in our kids anyway. I finally bought "Handwriting without tears" material from their website. I wanted to start working on it with two of my ds's this summer but I just haven't had the energy to get started. However, even though I have gotten them both help with an OT for these things, it hasn't helped. I don't think the OT's we've worked with have taken it seriously. Seems like if they can hold a pencil, they pass inspection. lol. But even my youngest ds (not AS/HFA) says, "I can't read cursive" and he can't write it either. He really needs help as this will cause big problems this school year. I tried to talk him into e-schooling but he is looking forward to attending a brand new building for school so he's going.

But anyway, my point is to get help and if they drag their heels, find ways to help them on your own.

You can lessen homework but ask yourself what will the benefit vs. loss ratio be for her. For instance, if math is hard and you get her math homework lessened, then will she get farther behind? So you want to find out what the problem is and figure out how to help her - does she need extra help at school, have an LD in math?, need more fact practice at home? tutoring over the summer? FInd out what she needs. My youngest ds (not AS/HFA, again) has a reading disability and we have worked extra hours to get him going in reading. I mean, one school year, he spent an extra 3 hours per day in some kind of specialized reading or practice. It was a lot, yes! But he is reading now. I agree you don't want to spend too much time doing homework so setting a time limit can be helpful. But also monitor her progress in learning and make sure you are not getting rid of one problem but adding another. Also, if you identify a problem (like the reading disability my ds has) you can provide the right kinds of help. So instead of doing work that is beyond her, she would be getting help to learn how to do the work.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

DD is 6 and will be going into 1st grade. K was a pain, but the teacher adapted and managed to get A. through the year. Homework was, of course, very simple and very brief, so I managed to pull her through it most of the time without too much of a struggle.

A. has a heck of a time with math and handwriting, and trying to explain things to her is more painful than ice picks under the fingernails. She seems to get very anxious and gets distracted by everything to avoid doing her work.

Any suggestions as to how to get control of this situation now? Or do I have a lot of years of struggle cut out for us? I can't imagine that this child will EVER be at a point where I can leave her in a room and expect her to get something done that she doesn't want to do. She needs hand-holding every step of the way, and it still takes FOREVER!

[Guest guest]

Definitely a great thing to remember! If you start the year off with a bad attitude towards all teachers, you are not doing your child any favors and are probably not going to get any cooperation from the teachers. Always start off polite and do not assume they don't care and won't help.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!



You know what.. MAKE them earn their money at that school! I spent too many years doing whatever I could to make thier lives easier and it made my life a living HELL.

You do what is right for you and your son ONLY!!

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

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> Date: Wednesday, August 5, 2009, 8:49 AM

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[Guest guest]

It depends on what assessment is being done and why. If you have a question about that or that he needs breaks, talk to the evaluator about it and find out!

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

Date: Thursday, 6 August, 2009, 12:44 PM

Good morning,

My daughter was the same way at that age, and we had many years of tears. It does get a little better, but one thing I wanted to make sure to let you know was that when my daughter was that age, we would do homework in 10 minute segments. And, we had a set routine, like when she got home from school, she had a snack, but then we would work on her least favorite subject--she got to pick.

Then, I would let her play for awhile, then tackle the next one. But, we never went over 30 minutes. You have to cut it off at that length of time because these kids have spent all their energy on "holding it together" during the school day, and they do not need any additional struggles when they get home.

We learned this the hard way. And, she's now going into 7th grade, and yes, we have it in her IEP that she has reduced homework. Some teachers, especially last year's math teachers, weren't happy about that, but then, they wanted her to "do more of her homework" when she had an "A" in the class. Homework is meant to re-inforce skills and to give practice, but when a child already has something mastered, then it just becomes punitive for these kids that are so sensitive.

Let her be a child when she's at home, and yes, things will be a struggle, particularly at her age, but it gets better eventually. I wish I'd known then what I know now, that's for sure!

Kathie

[Guest guest]

That can be frustrating. I can understand how you would feel that way. Sounds like the school is not very well trained or up to date on teaching kids with HFA/AS. Ask the director of sped what kind of training is happening in your school in the area of ASD's. Also, you can request request training during your IEP meetings. One year I remember the autism consultant for our school (the one trained for her job) came once a month for about a half hour before school started. Then the teachers and I had a little inservice and Q and A about my ds. It was nice and seemed to help smooth things over.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

Re: ( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!



Well, my sons school career has been filled with nothing but lies and promises that have never come to fruit.. I have listened to a school district that personally is not worth even being part of and most of what I have had to deal with comes from the teachers saying 'I completely understand him' and then getting a horrible phone call or note saying that he 'cant do this that or the other thing'... its not that he CANT its that they DONT want to take the time to 'understand' him.. and they are amazed when they find he CAN but that is only when a parent steps in and tells them how to do THEIR job.

I am sure they are good school districts but I am NOT in one of them.

( ) Re: Dreading the return of HOMEWORK!!

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