an article from Schafer autism report

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Sunday, September 09, 2007

<A

HREF= " http://mentalhopenews.blogspot.com/2007/09/you-cant-catch-autism-from-play\

-date.html " >You can't 'catch' autism from a play date - Newsday (NY)</A>

Op-ed: BY LISA DOWLER

September 8, 2007

My son is a sweet 10-year-old who plays baseball, loves to go bowling, and is

a happy child.

He is also autistic.

Autism affects a child's social abilities, making it difficult - and

sometimes impossible - to form friendships. The primary socialization that

receives is from his 8-year-old brother. Other play dates are hard to come by.

This is something that every parent of a child on the autism spectrum must deal

with every day.

I recently attempted to help pursue a friendship with another boy his

age. This boy seemed to be very kind to my son and always acknowledged him,

even around his peers. At camp, he went out of his way to say " hi " to my son,

and he even stopped to tell me that he knew from school.

I gathered up my courage to call the mother, whom I didn't know. I introduced

myself and explained that my son has special needs and is in a self-contained

class. I also told her that he is mainstreamed for music, art and gym, where

our sons know each other. I let her know that her son seemed to have an

interest in befriending .

The mother sounded as if I was taking up too much of her time. And she was

certainly not receptive to the idea of getting our boys together.

It's hurtful to realize that people like her are out there. It seemed as if

she didn't want her son socializing with mine because she feared that her child

might " catch " 's disability. Autism is not contagious, nor are the

other conditions that land children into special-needs classes.

My son would have enjoyed the 90 minutes or so it would have taken to go

bowling with this other child. He would have gained so much from it. And so, I

think, would her son.

The positive role model of a typical child is important for a child with

autism. And in my experience, typical children are more than willing to play

with

a child with a disability - it's their parents who are resistant. They don't

realize what their children stand to gain from developing a friendship with a

child who is autistic or different in some other way. They can develop a sense

of caring and understanding that leads them to become more compassionate

adults.

The mother I spoke with didn't want to continue our conversation and wouldn't

even take my phone number. Unfortunately, that wasn't the first time I've had

that kind of response.

has come a long way with the help of his younger brother. Because my

typical son has a brother with autism, he has become a kinder, more sensitive

and caring child. He understands that he has helped his brother, and he feels

good about that. He understands that a child's disability doesn't define him

or her.

These are the valuable lessons that has to offer his potential

friends. If only their mothers would let him.

Posted by david at <A

HREF= " http://mentalhopenews.blogspot.com/2007/09/you-cant-catch-autism-from-play\

-date.html " >7:29 AM</A> <A

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6320 " > </A><A

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320 " > </A>

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