Re: 8 year old worries about being different

February 22, 2007

8's happen to be in a particular developmental stage where they are constantly

comparing themselves to others and if they think they are lacking, it can be

difficult for them. I also find Asperger's kids are very focused on their

differences as they have the ability to note the differences and can't quite

figure out the " why " of it.

Children, as a general rule, don't want to be different, want to be just like

everyone else and often the talks that adults give like " Everyone is special or

has special talents " falls on deaf ears. Plus anything parents say complementary

to kids as they get older is suspect to children who say " You have to like

me...you're the Mom " .

Most kids mature out of this stage, some not as much and I have seen it get to

be a real problem. It gets to be a kind of obsession with some that gets

entrenched as they grow older.

But for the others a " matter of fact " attitude about how all people have

strengths and weaknesses WITHOUT using a lot of emotional overreassuring so that

the complaining does not get a reinforcer, is often helpful. This is one of

those things that if your past reassurance didn't help, it's not likely to help

in the future. It's one of those things kids have to figure out about

themselves.

Who among us hasn't wish we were taller, or smarter or better looking or had

more money, but we channel our disappointment into what we aren't and accentuate

what we are. A lesson we all have to learn, on the spectrum, or not.

Good luck,

[ ] 8 year old worries about being different

My 8 year old son is close to being okay. He has come so far in the

past four years and is a great kid. We are still doing biomed with

him and will likely be doing that for quite some time.

My son knows that his problems are from the mercury in his vaccines.

His most evident problem right now is what he calls " brain pain " . It

is short absence seizures that involve angry behavior (along with

pain in his brain apparently). Currently, we have this pretty much

under control, but it does happen sometimes. And my son remembers

when it happened a lot. He talks about his brain a lot and says that

his brain is broken. He talks about needing to get surgery on his

brain. Because of what we have said about mercury, he says that

mercury makes his brain broken.

His 5 year old NT brother had a few vaccines and has done chelation

as well. They are extremely close and truly are best friends. My 5

year old is completely accepting of his brother's occasional

behavioral issues and does not say mean things to him about it.

In addition, my son is now obsessed with not wanting to have a new

baby. He says he doesn't want a new baby because the baby won't have

mercury (like he and his brother do) and the baby won't like him

because of his behavior. For a few years, we have talked about

possibly having a new baby someday and are actually now hoping that

will happen soon. (Previously, both of my boys have been asking for

a new baby. They are nurturing and want to take care of it.)

My son just turned 8, and he seems to be thinking so much more about

his problems now that he is 8. He previously worked with a therapist

regarding his special diet being different than other kids. He is

somewhat shy and doesn't like to share his feelings with outsiders.

He had a difficult time talking to his previous therapist.

So, I'm looking for thoughts and suggestions about how to help my son

accept his differences and know that we love and accept him.

Thanks.

February 22, 2007

I hear people talk about seizures. I am familiar with full blown convulsions,

but how do people know their children are having seizures? Can they be having

them and just " get spacey " ? Or " act different " ?

Thanks...Jody

mom114425 <JLJukoski@...> wrote: