Re: swimming at YMCA

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Hate to say it but I put my son in a week long day camp at the YMCA where they went to Legoland because he loves Legoland. On the 2nd day they asked that I not bring him back. Let me tell you, my son is not NEARLY as bad as some kids I've seen (especially the "normal" ones). They told him he could not buy a soda that he'd brought $ for, because it wouldn't be fair to the other kids who didn't have $. So my son says, "Well, what if I buy one for everyone?" They took that as a smart ass remark and told him he could not bring his wallet anymore. Well, after that he did not want to be there and called me on his cell to come get him. So then the camp leader got on the phone and told me that he's not allowed to bring a cell phone. It would have been nice for them to have given these rules BEFORE camp so I could have prepared him. So then they told him if he doesn't behave they'd call me to pick him up. So what does he do?? I don't think they were trained at all for our kids

and even though I'd talked about it when I signed him up, when I dropped him off on the first day there were SO many kids and leaders that I didn't know who was going where. It was very caotic. All the camps met in one big auditorium and the leaders were all very young.terriharbin <terriharbin@...> wrote: I am wondering if anyone out there has had dealings with taking your child from swimming lessons to Jr. Competitor Swim Team at the YMCA. My 9 yo daughter just loves swimming - it gives her great sensory stimulation and the

activity helps her to sleep at night. She has just graduated from swim lessons - all the way up to Shark! So, we enrolled her in Jr. Competitor. Well, the sessions are frustrating for her because the kids are less supervised and are bumping into each other in the lane, passing each other, etc. To top it all off, she wants it to be a race and she can't wait until the instructor says it is her turn to take her next lap. So, she just takes off. She has also had meltdowns resulting in us removing her from the pool. The instructor is losing patience, and she has said things like "Well it won't really be fair for the other kids if I do that for her..." and "I can't have her ruin it for everybody else..." I think they are about to ask us to pull her from the program. Any advice? Anyone have experience with a YMCA that has no trouble accomodating our

kids?Thanks!Terri

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Terri..... Sadly....I SOOOOOOOOOOOOO understand you....hee hee. Anyway,,,,,,have you told them about your daughter? Legallly,,,,,,they can't "remove" her from the program if there is a disability. I know you don't want her there though, if they want her gone, and she's just there then, for legal reasons.... But,,,,,,I'd go in and say, "Look, ,,,,Obviously, things are needing to change. She loves this.......etc, etc....." Then let them know some particulars. Like,,,,,,socially,,,,,she's just "not with it like most".....or whatever you'd prefer to say. Maybe print some stuff off from the internet.....something they could read quickly, perhaps, to gain some understanding? Maybe also, if you find something good online,,,,,print it off for all the parents. Let them know what's going on so there won't (hopefully) someday be a confrontation about why she does what she

does. If our kids had diabetes......we'd let those around our kid KNOW what's up and what we may "see".....right? I don't know. I guess,,,I'd just let them know what's up. Let them know that I know it's getting rough for them and that YOU want to help. The more communication, the better. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Oh - and I commend you. My son, 11, loves to swim and because I was on a team for years, I've thought of getting him involved......but have dreaded it simply for the "I know how to do it best" attitude.....and the lack of being able to wait/take a turn........that I know he'd give everyone. Maybe since you've done it......I should get off my "fearful ass" and let him try it. *Thanks* Robinterriharbin <terriharbin@...> wrote: I am wondering if anyone out there has had dealings with taking your child from swimming lessons to Jr. Competitor Swim Team at the YMCA. My 9 yo daughter just loves swimming - it gives her great sensory stimulation and the activity helps her to sleep at night. She has just graduated from swim lessons - all the way up to Shark! So, we enrolled her in Jr. Competitor. Well, the sessions are frustrating for her because the kids are less supervised and are bumping into each other in the lane, passing each other, etc. To top it all off, she wants it to be a race and she can't wait until the instructor

says it is her turn to take her next lap. So, she just takes off. She has also had meltdowns resulting in us removing her from the pool. The instructor is losing patience, and she has said things like "Well it won't really be fair for the other kids if I do that for her..." and "I can't have her ruin it for everybody else..." I think they are about to ask us to pull her from the program. Any advice? Anyone have experience with a YMCA that has no trouble accomodating our kids?Thanks!Terri

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[Guest guest]

Interesting, and timely! First, I have to say that, honestly, our son is pretty good at sports and basketball---he's played endless hours in our driveway and on several teams before he landed in treatment for 30 months. That being said......

Our son informed us (8th grader and will be 14 in like 5 weeks--) he signed up for BASKETBALL this year, and practice starts tomorrow (no school today)--told us Friday---we have decided we are LETTING HIM START and will see how it goes but are not happy we did not have a 'say in it,' etc. to start with; we have NO TIME to prepare coaches but we figure he can just start, and if problems, he will be done but at least he is going to give it a try. He is the one that brought home at least the practice schedule (no equipment orders / what he is to wear, games schedule, or anything----I can go to the school website and see what else if anything is on there but still....

We just decided that, while we are not THRILLED with this, we are just going to let him do it; maybe it will be great, and if so, then that will be great for us, too. So, interesting. And, if not, we will end like the Y experience anyway, he will want to quit, and that will be okay, too. For now, we are canceling his therapy and tutoring appointments week by week, and every other week, practice is done BEFORE school every other week, so it only affects every other week, anyway. So, that will be good, too. Thanks for sharing YOUR experience; that really is helping us. I will put together a very brief flyer today for the coach. Our son is DIABETIC TOO, so that puts MORE on the plate for us!!

Thanks.

Ruthie

Re: ( ) swimming at YMCA

You're right, .

I used to work at the one by us,,,,,and if it's a permanent coaching situation, (gymnastics, swimming),,,then they ARE coaches. BUt it it's for basketball, soccer, football, camps.....then most of the time they ask for volunteers. The Y is totally not-for-profit. What they make is for the salaries of the employees and for upkeep.

It is really hard to just drop a kid off and expect them to know what's going on.....most don't know.

I've never been able to put Ian in things there......group-wise. They just can't/won't deal with it.

I had him in private swim lessons......and talked big-time to the gal first. That helped.

But,,,,as far as a big group setting.....they have no time for anyone outside of the peg, usually, because they're working with limited help.

I'm not making excuses, believe me. I just wanted to chime in.

Robin Essenfeld <lessensbcglobal (DOT) net> wrote:

Hate to say it but I put my son in a week long day camp at the YMCA where they went to Legoland because he loves Legoland. On the 2nd day they asked that I not bring him back. Let me tell you, my son is not NEARLY as bad as some kids I've seen (especially the "normal" ones). They told him he could not buy a soda that he'd brought $ for, because it wouldn't be fair to the other kids who didn't have $. So my son says, "Well, what if I buy one for everyone?" They took that as a smart ass remark and told him he could not bring his wallet anymore. Well, after that he did not want to be there and called me on his cell to come get him. So then the camp leader got on the phone and told me that he's not allowed to bring a cell phone. It would have been nice for them to have given these rules BEFORE camp so I could have prepared him. So then they told him if he doesn't behave they'd call me to pick him up. So what does he do?? I don't think they were trained at all for our kids and even though I'd talked about it when I signed him up, when I dropped him off on the first day there were SO many kids and leaders that I didn't know who was going where. It was very caotic. All the camps met in one big auditorium and the leaders were all very young.terriharbin <terriharbin > wrote:

I am wondering if anyone out there has had dealings with taking your child from swimming lessons to Jr. Competitor Swim Team at the YMCA. My 9 yo daughter just loves swimming - it gives her great sensory stimulation and the activity helps her to sleep at night. She has just graduated from swim lessons - all the way up to Shark! So, we enrolled her in Jr. Competitor. Well, the sessions are frustrating for her because the kids are less supervised and are bumping into each other in the lane, passing each other, etc. To top it all off, she wants it to be a race and she can't wait until the instructor says it is her turn to take her next lap. So, she just takes off. She has also had meltdowns resulting in us removing her from the pool. The instructor is losing patience, and she has said things like "Well it won't really be fair for the other kids if I do that for her..." and "I can't have her ruin it for everybody else..." I think they are about to ask us to pull her from the program. Any advice? Anyone have experience with a YMCA that has no trouble accomodating our kids?Thanks!Terri

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My son is 12 and swims for our local boys and girls club. He is also a competitive swimmer and has been with the team for a few years. It's funny, he is the kid that you want swimming for your team because he is very talented and wins many of his events, and at meets, he is totally focused on the task at hand. He's the kid you see by himself concentrating, nervous but in a good way, and very fast -- he's qualified for our state Junior Olympics since he was 9, and he's won a ton of medals in local and even national competitions.

Now when it comes to practice, that's a whole other matter. He thinks it's stupid to practice but of course the coaches disagree and go nuts when he doesn't work hard, complete laps, and when he talks back to them. The coaches are old school Russians who both swam and coached in the Olympics, who have no tolerance whatsoever for his mouth and attitude. More than once he's been suspended from the team for mouthing off, for leaving the pool without asking, for spending half an hour in the locker room, for fighting with other kids, and so forth.

It's a shame because with effort, he'd be really sensational but he is willing to settle for mediocre, and the coaches can't figure out what it would take to make him great. Their idea of punishing -- putting him on the bench -- backfires because it gives him what he wants, a time to rest and to chat with the other swimmers. I finally convinced them that punishment should take the form of extra butterfly laps, pushups, etc., and it seems that's been working.

I also had a nice talk with the director of the club who was happy to listen to me talk about AS, and to thank me (!) for explaining my son to him, because for years, he has wondered just what goes on with him, a bright child who doesn't learn from his mistakes and behaves so inappropriately. He told me he would never give up on my son and he's going to make sure no one else does, either.

So I guess my advice is to go up the food chain of your Y, explain that you have a child with a disability and then educate them, you might be surprised. Practice can be chaotic and difficult, but if your daughter loves swimming and is good at it, there's no need to pull her from something that will make her feel good about herself.

Barbara in NJ

[Guest guest]

Perfectly said, Barbara!!!!! CyberMommyLJA@... wrote: My son is 12 and swims for our local boys and girls club. He is also a competitive swimmer and has been with the team for a few years. It's funny, he is the kid that you want swimming for your team because he is very talented and wins many of his events, and at meets, he is totally focused on the task at hand. He's the kid you see by himself concentrating, nervous but

in a good way, and very fast -- he's qualified for our state Junior Olympics since he was 9, and he's won a ton of medals in local and even national competitions.Now when it comes to practice, that's a whole other matter. He thinks it's stupid to practice but of course the coaches disagree and go nuts when he doesn't work hard, complete laps, and when he talks back to them. The coaches are old school Russians who both swam and coached in the Olympics, who have no tolerance whatsoever for his mouth and attitude. More than once he's been suspended from the team for mouthing off, for leaving the pool without asking, for spending half an hour in the locker room, for fighting with other kids, and so forth.It's a shame because with effort, he'd be really sensational but he is willing to settle for mediocre, and the coaches can't figure out what it would take to make him great. Their idea of punishing -- putting him on the bench -- backfires because it gives

him what he wants, a time to rest and to chat with the other swimmers. I finally convinced them that punishment should take the form of extra butterfly laps, pushups, etc., and it seems that's been working.I also had a nice talk with the director of the club who was happy to listen to me talk about AS, and to thank me (!) for explaining my son to him, because for years, he has wondered just what goes on with him, a bright child who doesn't learn from his mistakes and behaves so inappropriately. He told me he would never give up on my son and he's going to make sure no one else does, either.So I guess my advice is to go up the food chain of your Y, explain that you have a child with a disability and then educate them, you might be surprised. Practice can be chaotic and difficult, but if your daughter loves swimming and is good at it, there's no need to pull her from something that will make her feel good about herself.Barbara in

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