RE: PLEASE HELP ME - Robin

[Guest guest]

Yes, I could see a list thing working for them. they wouldn't get tired, waiting for shopping to end if they're busy looking for things on their own list, and they don't have to stay together & be safe in the store. I can focus on things I need to buy, instead of correcting them all the time. It would also be a learning experience for them too. I can also teach them to find best prices. that will keep them busy. They will also feel included in the shopping. I've also heard of this list idea before. but I guess I just thought it would be to time consuming. but it's not. People are writing in with such great, useful ideas. If their very own shopping list doesn't work (which I feel it would). I can send them to customer service area to wait. I do feel the shopping list for my kids would work, they are now old enough, it will keep them busy and

separated. it will continue to teach them to read, and do math. (checking prices). awesome!!!! I wish I knew this during this past summer.... Hugs Rose and/or Robin Lemke <jrisjs@...> wrote: Could you possibly make your kids their own list of things? Maybe say something like, "as soon as I get the things we need to get, lets go check out your lists?" I have no clue as to where this idea came from......I don't use lists

for them. I'm usually the one leaving my cart and leaving early. It works for my kids. BUt,,,,,maybe I'll try the list thing. Let me know if you try it.RobinRose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: , I did think of that (leaving the store) but they don't want to go food shopping anyway. its boring. If I were to just leave, they wouldn't mind at all. BUT when we get home and I cook the foods they don't like, and it was because I couldn't finish the shopping. Hummm. but my N.T. daughter will get it right away and feel bad. My son won't. it won't connect. out of site/out of mind. I'll try to think of something. thanks Rose Lowry

<flyballmomhotmail> wrote: Have you tried telling them that if they misbehave, you will just take them home. THat is the only thing that worked for us when it came to eating out at a family restaurant....if Adam misbehaved we just up and left whether we had eaten or not, we paid our bill of course but our attitude was "too bad , so sad" Adam, I guess you don't want to eat out tonite. love and hugs, wife, mom and grandma to my beloved aspies Wags! Wags! Wags! Lowry "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face." Author Ben From: beachbodytan2002 Date: Mon, 24 Sep 2007 09:46:20 -0700Subject: Re: ( ) PLEASE HELP ME , the location this is right. I hate going to the store with my kids. They are really great kids and I love them more than life. but going shopping is so stressful. I do remind them on how they are suppose to behave before we go in the store, but somehow it's just not working!! they argue and fight over everything from who will push the wagon. and If my

son gets another wagon he will spin it. or push it too fast. ugh! they fight that he/she touched me. etc... it just doesn't end. I show them, look at those other children (that are much younger) mine are 9 & 10. they are behaving well. but for some reason, going shopping with both my kids is stressful. once we leave the store, they clam down again. Now that they are in school, I do my shopping alone. but, I know (avoiding) is not helping them and I need to teach them how to behave in the store. But nothing is working. OH, if I tell my son, Don't touch anything. He will say: touch, touch, touch and be touching each and everything in each row we go into. at 10 years old. Ugh!!! So, the shopping is still a challenge for us. or Steve <4ganascomcast (DOT) net> wrote: Rose, You did great explaining this. I just want to add one thing. When he learns some new behavior......remind him of it before he steps into another 'location'. If he learns it at home, remind him about what he knows just before you enter a friends house or you enter a store. Our kids have a hard time taking what they learn and doing this in another location. -GA Re: ( ) PLEASE HELP ME Hello Alyssa, you have your own answer right here. You wrote: ****I feel helpless becouse I do not know what to do for him I try to punish him for what he does, but he does not see that he has done anything wrong**** He doesn't know...(he doesn't understand that what he did is wrong). Start with just baby steps. Pick one thing that he does inappropriately. (I know you have many). but lets start with just one. instead of giving him a punishment. show him the acceptable way he should act. example: If he hits another child for taking his favorite toy, explain to him - we don't hit, but can you ask your friend to

give you the toy back..{ we use our hands for helping not hurting }. I know that's a poor example (of what your experiencing) but I don't know what kind of concerns you are having and I missed your post on what his age is. but my point is: if you tell your child not to do something because it's wrong, follow up by showing your child what he should be doing. try not to look at everything that needs to be addressed. just start with one and take baby steps. when he accomplished that, move on to the next. step by step seems to work best with our children. I see it like this: first the child does these concerns because of the type of diagnosis he has, then it becomes a habit, then manipulation, then a learned skill. Now all this has to get undone and a new appropriate habit in its place. this takes time and patients.

almost like a temper tantrum. When the child starts to cry because he wants his toy back and we tell the sibling to "give him his toy", now! and he gets it back. he has learned if he screams loud enough and long enough we will get tired of hearing that and give him what he wants to avoid all that stress & noise. the next time it might be for extra sweets, when you say no, (wait till after dinner) the screaming starts and the outbursts. its easier to give the sweets to avoid all that crying. now when we're out in public we give in quicker so the crying doesn't distract the public and all eyes on us. but, what we're teaching the child is: When I cry loud, I get what I want. that's a learned habit which is hard to break. these examples might not be relating to what your going through. but things do take long to teach new ways of learning new appropriate behaviors. with the right

strategies, being consistent, and time, It's well worth it and it does work. boy oh boy, I've been there. hugs & smiles Rose P.S. I hope nothing said was offensive. I've just based this on my own experience and what I've seen with others., not yours. I don't know you. but wishing you the best. hugs alyssaandreen <alyssaandreen > wrote: My son was diagnosed with aspergers last Febuary, but I have not been able to get on to see any specialists yet. We have an appointment next week, but I am loosing my mind. The school is telling me something has to be done becouse he

cannot stay in the class the way he is, I don't know what to do. He is getting harder and harder to handle. He cannot pay attention to anything his odd habits are getting more frequent and he is becoming angry becouse he has no friends, becouse he cannot seem ton play apropriatly with them. I am scared and feeling realy alone, I do not know where to turn I feel helpless becouse I do not know what to do for him I try to punish him for what he does, but he does not see that he has done anything wrong, so punishments have become more of a torcher. Please tell me I am not alone- I do not know where to turn.Alyssa Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games. Discover the new Windows Vista Learn more! Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who

knows. Answers - Check it out. Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel.

Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos more.

[Guest guest]

thanks: *smile* C <justformom@...> wrote: You can even print pictures of what brand ect you need them to get! Or use a sale paper as an I-spy type of game :-) Re: ( ) PLEASE HELP ME Hello Alyssa, you have your own answer right here. You wrote: ****I feel helpless becouse I do not know what to do for him I try to punish him for what he does, but he does not see that he has done anything wrong**** He doesn't know...(he doesn't understand that what he did is wrong). Start with just baby steps. Pick one thing that he does inappropriately. (I know you have many). but lets start with just one. instead of giving him a punishment. show him the acceptable way he should

act. example: If he hits another child for taking his favorite toy, explain to him - we don't hit, but can you ask your friend to give you the toy back..{ we use our hands for helping not hurting }. I know that's a poor example (of what your experiencing) but I don't know what kind of concerns you are having and I missed your post on what his age is. but my point is: if you tell your child not to do something because it's wrong, follow up by showing your child what he should be doing. try not to look at everything that needs to be addressed. just start with one and take baby steps. when he accomplished that, move on to the next. step by step seems to work best with our children. I see it like this: first the child does these concerns because of the type of diagnosis he has, then it becomes a habit, then

manipulation, then a learned skill. Now all this has to get undone and a new appropriate habit in its place. this takes time and patients. almost like a temper tantrum. When the child starts to cry because he wants his toy back and we tell the sibling to "give him his toy", now! and he gets it back. he has learned if he screams loud enough and long enough we will get tired of hearing that and give him what he wants to avoid all that stress & noise. the next time it might be for extra sweets, when you say no, (wait till after dinner) the screaming starts and the outbursts. its easier to give the sweets to avoid all that crying. now when we're out in public we give in quicker so the crying doesn't distract the public and all eyes on us. but, what we're teaching the child is: When I cry loud, I get what I want. that's a learned habit which is hard to break. these examples

might not be relating to what your going through. but things do take long to teach new ways of learning new appropriate behaviors. with the right strategies, being consistent, and time, It's well worth it and it does work. boy oh boy, I've been there. hugs & smiles Rose P.S. I hope nothing said was offensive. I've just based this on my own experience and what I've seen with others., not yours. I don't know you. but wishing you the best. hugs alyssaandreen <alyssaandreen > wrote: My son was diagnosed with aspergers last Febuary, but I have not been able to get on to

see any specialists yet. We have an appointment next week, but I am loosing my mind. The school is telling me something has to be done becouse he cannot stay in the class the way he is, I don't know what to do. He is getting harder and harder to handle. He cannot pay attention to anything his odd habits are getting more frequent and he is becoming angry becouse he has no friends, becouse he cannot seem ton play apropriatly with them. I am scared and feeling realy alone, I do not know where to turn I feel helpless becouse I do not know what to do for him I try to punish him for what he does, but he does not see that he has done anything wrong, so punishments have become more of a torcher. Please tell me I am not alone- I do not know where to turn.Alyssa Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games. Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games. Discover the new Windows Vista Learn more! Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows. Answers - Check it out. Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel. Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos more.

Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games.

[Guest guest]

You can even print pictures of what brand ect you need them to get! Or use a sale paper as an I-spy type of game :-)

Re: ( ) PLEASE HELP ME

Hello Alyssa,

you have your own answer right here. You wrote:

****I feel helpless becouse I do not know what to do for him I try to punish him for what he does, but he does not see that he has done anything wrong****

He doesn't know...(he doesn't understand that what he did is wrong). Start with just baby steps. Pick one thing that he does inappropriately. (I know you have many). but lets start with just one. instead of giving him a punishment. show him the acceptable way he should act. example: If he hits another child for taking his favorite toy, explain to him - we don't hit, but can you ask your friend to give you the toy back..{ we use our hands for helping not hurting }. I know that's a poor example (of what your experiencing) but I don't know what kind of concerns you are having and I missed your post on what his age is. but my point is: if you tell your child not to do something because it's wrong, follow up by showing your child what he should be doing.

try not to look at everything that needs to be addressed. just start with one and take baby steps. when he accomplished that, move on to the next. step by step seems to work best with our children. I see it like this: first the child does these concerns because of the type of diagnosis he has, then it becomes a habit, then manipulation, then a learned skill. Now all this has to get undone and a new appropriate habit in its place. this takes time and patients. almost like a temper tantrum. When the child starts to cry because he wants his toy back and we tell the sibling to "give him his toy", now! and he gets it back. he has learned if he screams loud enough and long enough we will get tired of hearing that and give him what he wants to avoid all that stress & noise. the next time it might be for extra sweets, when you say no, (wait till after dinner) the screaming starts and the outbursts. its easier to give the sweets to avoid all that crying. now when we're out in public we give in quicker so the crying doesn't distract the public and all eyes on us. but, what we're teaching the child is: When I cry loud, I get what I want. that's a learned habit which is hard to break. these examples might not be relating to what your going through. but things do take long to teach new ways of learning new appropriate behaviors. with the right strategies, being consistent, and time, It's well worth it and it does work.

boy oh boy, I've been there.

hugs & smiles

Rose

P.S. I hope nothing said was offensive. I've just based this on my own experience and what I've seen with others., not yours. I don't know you. but wishing you the best.

hugs

alyssaandreen <alyssaandreen > wrote:

My son was diagnosed with aspergers last Febuary, but I have not been able to get on to see any specialists yet. We have an appointment next week, but I am loosing my mind. The school is telling me something has to be done becouse he cannot stay in the class the way he is, I don't know what to do. He is getting harder and harder to handle. He cannot pay attention to anything his odd habits are getting more frequent and he is becoming angry becouse he has no friends, becouse he cannot seem ton play apropriatly with them. I am scared and feeling realy alone, I do not know where to turn I feel helpless becouse I do not know what to do for him I try to punish him for what he does, but he does not see that he has done anything wrong, so punishments have become more of a torcher. Please tell me I am not alone- I do not know where to turn.Alyssa

Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games.

Boardwalk for $500? In 2007? Ha! Play Monopoly Here and Now (it's updated for today's economy) at Games.

Discover the new Windows Vista Learn more!

Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows. Answers - Check it out.

Need a vacation? Get great deals to amazing places on Travel.

Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket: mail, news, photos more.