Re: 2 - What is the best?

[Guest guest]

My best SPED experience was when we were in the middle of making the decision to pull our son out of school at the end of the year, due to frustration, anger, etc,,,,,,,(end of 5th) and the SPED teacher and homeroom teacher (who were very good, by the way), agreed with us that it sounded like something wonderful to try and may help him. It wasn't said in a "yep,,,,,take him out of here" way. It was genuine agreement that traditional school wasn't for everyone. They went on to say that although inclusion was the law, that it had it's downfalls - depending on the "disability" and the child's' level of functioning as well as the child's' personality.

Made me feel wonderful.

Robin

From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: ( ) 2 - What is the best?"Asperger" < >Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 9:37 AM

It is "that time of year" again when I start looking for information to do a talk about being the parent of a child with sped needs. Our sped director teaches a class over at Kent and she has asked us (me and my dh) to come and do a talk to her class about the problems/unique situations we face as parents of children with special needs.

SO! With that in mind, in the past I have always asked YOU (all the experts!) to let me know the kinds of things you would want to say to school psychologists- in-training. I won't use anyone's name - I do quote directly sometimes but will replace names with pronouns.

Second question: What is the best sped experience you have ever had? (i.e. did someone step up to the plate and make things happen for your child? Did someone provide a service that meant a world of difference to your child? etc)

I separated the three questions I have so people can respond to one, two or all three questions as they feel like doing (or none at all, if you don't want to - but I hope you do!) I do appreciate the insight and help with this project of mine!

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

[Guest guest]

I think the best thing about my child having a disability is when I

see that there are a lot of people out there who are understanding

and compassionate and don't judge a book by its cover. They look

deep enough to see the real child and have unconditional love for

him. It is wonderful to see.

>

> It is " that time of year " again when I start looking for

information to do a talk about being the parent of a child with sped

needs. Our sped director teaches a class over at Kent and she has

asked us (me and my dh) to come and do a talk to her class about the

problems/unique situations we face as parents of children with

special needs.

>

> SO! With that in mind, in the past I have always asked YOU (all

the experts!) to let me know the kinds of things you would want to

say to school psychologists-in-training. I won't use anyone's name -

I do quote directly sometimes but will replace names with

pronouns.

>

> Second question: What is the best sped experience you have ever

had? (i.e. did someone step up to the plate and make things happen

for your child? Did someone provide a service that meant a world of

difference to your child? etc)

>

> I separated the three questions I have so people can respond to

one, two or all three questions as they feel like doing (or none at

all, if you don't want to - but I hope you do!) I do appreciate the

insight and help with this project of mine!

>

>

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

>

[Guest guest]

The best experience I had with special education, besides two excellent evaluations, was when I was meeting with a group of staff from the Special Education Dept at his school and some district-wide Spec Ed staff. I explained to them what happened when Dylan was surrounded by a group of boys after PE and pushed/kicked/verbally harrassed. I didn't know how they would respond, if they would be into "protect the school" mode or "protect Dylan" mode. They were ALL for protecting Dylan! In fact, they even gave me additional ideas to handle the situation that would put the school in a more difficult position. I really appreciated that they weren't just towing the political line but instead were really looking out for my son. The autism specialist (district staff)

kept in touch with me the rest of the year when we were having other troubles and copied the head of the Special Education dept for the ENTIRE district so she could see some of the questionable decision making happening at Dylan's school. I always felt like Dylan's needs came first with this team and that helped me focus more on the other school personnel.

( ) 2 - What is the best?

It is "that time of year" again when I start looking for information to do a talk about being the parent of a child with sped needs. Our sped director teaches a class over at Kent and she has asked us (me and my dh) to come and do a talk to her class about the problems/unique situations we face as parents of children with special needs.

SO! With that in mind, in the past I have always asked YOU (all the experts!) to let me know the kinds of things you would want to say to school psychologists- in-training. I won't use anyone's name - I do quote directly sometimes but will replace names with pronouns.

Second question: What is the best sped experience you have ever had? (i.e. did someone step up to the plate and make things happen for your child? Did someone provide a service that meant a world of difference to your child? etc)

I separated the three questions I have so people can respond to one, two or all three questions as they feel like doing (or none at all, if you don't want to - but I hope you do!) I do appreciate the insight and help with this project of mine!

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

[Guest guest]

I sent the " worst " experience to Roxanna privately but I'm happy to

share it if anyone wants to read it. I think I've told people about

it here so I didn't want to repeat.

We've had more good experiences than bad, I believe. Our worst was

in Texas but then we were in a new school in the same district and

there were some really amazing people there. The district doesn't

fund special education well. Especially for kids who have " invisible

disabilities " like ADHD and asperger syndrome. If a kid had downs

syndrome which is often obvious physically or if a kid is in a

wheelchair or can't talk at all they're more likely to get help.

Kids who have high functioning autism might be considered behavior

problems and get lots of punishment and no services without huge

fights. But this second school was in was AMAZING. There was a

special education person, I'm not sure what her title was but she

started a social skills classroom. She got it up and running and

trained people and was able to tailor it to fit needs and eventually

there were two classes. The high functioning kids without a lot of

other issues were in one class and then there was a class for kids

who were high functioning but had more serious behavior problems like

running into traffic during recess. They did this mainly so kids

like my son could go out for recess since he was at low risk for

running away.

It isn't just the special ed staff at that school that has made it

great. The general education teachers and the " specials " (art, pe,

music etc) teachers also worked very hard. There will always be a

place in my heart for the art teacher. It's hard for me to describe

in words what he's done for us. Part of it is the amazing contrast

between the art teacher there and the art teacher where we had our

worst experience but it's more than that. I guess I have to tell the

negative story along with the great one to make sense of it. When

was at the rotten school his art teacher asked him to make a

pattern of geometric shapes. wanted to make a pattern with two

different pokemon. The teacher said " no " . had a meltdown. It

was a whole lot of no fun for everyone involved.

The art teacher at 's second school in Texas was faced with a

similar situation. He asked the kids to do self portraits.

said, " I want to do a different kind of person. " The art teacher

took a moment to THINK. Wow, what a concept!! LOL. Anyway, he

thought to himself, " Well, hasn't said he doesn't want to work.

His idea isn't too different from what I'm requesting...Okay, sure,

why not. " So got to draw his different person. The teacher

LOVED it. When it came time for him to choose two pieces to

represent the school at Youth Art Month in the administration

building he chose 's. I remember this art teacher came to me and

said, " Remember that drawing did...Well I need it back. " I had

no idea why but I brought it back. Then got an award and a

really cool charcoal pencil and a special artists eraser and his

drawing was displayed along with work from all the other schools for

a month in one of the administrative buildings. I always thought art

teachers were supposed to be pretty open minded about what

constitutes art and this art teacher really understood it. The first

one...I mean, I can't figure it out. What was her deal?!

So that's a very amazing and special person we encountered in Texas

along with everyone else at that school.

Now we're in New Hampshire and I have to say that the transition here

has been much easier. This district funds special ed. They have an

attitude of enlightened self interest. Basically, they get it that

if they meet a child's needs their job is easier. The child is

happier, that means less disruption and more learning for everyone.

The parents are also happier so it means no law suits or fights or

difficult IEP meetings. They get to see some great stuff and they

also see how these kids contribute good things to the school

environment. Our school here has it's own special olympics team and

the typical kids are encouraged to participate. It's a very popular

extracurricular activity. When you see the team you often can't tell

which kids are special needs and which aren't. This district is

absolutely the best we've encountered.

I don't think these folks are as emotionally involved as the staff at

the really good (by texas standards) school in Texas. But then, we

haven't been here as long so it may be that we'll become quite close

to some people. It just hasn't happened quite yet. But for overall

educational experiences it's the best.

gets more services here in Bedford, NH than ever before. He is

getting OT with a sensory diet. They arranged his classes so he

could have time with the special ed teacher in the resource room in

the morning and at the end of the day. He no longer takes foreign

language and " enrichment " because then he can catch up on work he

didn't complete during the day. He can also relax and get his

backpack organized for the end of the day.

qualified for Extended School Year here which didn't happen at

all in Texas. The extended school year program here is the most fun

and most social skills oriented I've seen. It's a boys and girls

club daycamp. The school buys up a bunch of slots every year so they

can offer them to kids with ASDs and other social skill issues. It's

4 weeks of camp and the kids can go from 9:00 to 2:30 free of

charge. I think if parents need the kid to be there longer they

might be able to pay for it.

had a 1:1 paraprofessional at camp who was fantastic though she

had no experience with asperger syndrome. She is a student working

on a masters in education. She wanted the experience, was there to

learn and was therefore extremely open to anything anyone suggested.

She and the other paraprofessionals hired by the district were

supervised by a district employee who knows all about special needs

kids.

When had a bad time at camp the district employee would work

with the para, call me, and his main goal was, " How can we make this

a positive experience for ? How can we do things so will

have success here? " went to camp for 4 weeks. Well, he missed

quite a bit during the first 3 weeks due to a broken arm, a weird

skin problem with his feet that no doctors has been able to diagnose

and deciding to hide in the storage area in the back of my van

to avoid going to camp that day. We decided maybe he would be better

off at home that day. had a few meltdowns and I brought him

home early most days because 9:00 - 2:30 in the good outdoors is a

long time with all the bugs and heat and humidity. But, in the last

week, with our process all perfected had a perfect week during

which he missed NO days. Everyone worked to make this a success for

.

The best part of this was one day when wanted to go home at one

point he asked the district employee, " Can you please call my mom to

see if she's picking me up at 1:00? " The district employee let

know this was a very appropriate thing to do and then called me right

away. He made it clear to as well as to me that he recognized

what a good thing this was for to do. He said, " was very

polite and calm. " So he gets it. I was very nervous about camp but

it worked out GREAT.

There are so many good things about where we are now that I can't

even get them all on paper at one time. I might decide to write more

later but my thoughts are a bit jumbled after so much detail. LOL.

Miriam

>

> It is " that time of year " again when I start looking for

information to do a talk about being the parent of a child with sped

needs. Our sped director teaches a class over at Kent and she has

asked us (me and my dh) to come and do a talk to her class about the

problems/unique situations we face as parents of children with

special needs.

>

> SO! With that in mind, in the past I have always asked YOU (all

the experts!) to let me know the kinds of things you would want to

say to school psychologists-in-training. I won't use anyone's name -

I do quote directly sometimes but will replace names with pronouns.

>

> Second question: What is the best sped experience you have ever

had? (i.e. did someone step up to the plate and make things happen

for your child? Did someone provide a service that meant a world of

difference to your child? etc)

>

> I separated the three questions I have so people can respond to

one, two or all three questions as they feel like doing (or none at

all, if you don't want to - but I hope you do!) I do appreciate the

insight and help with this project of mine!

>

>

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

>

[Guest guest]

I've always heard so many stories of schools not being helpful with

our AS kids but I wanted to point out that there are some amazing

stories too. I certainly doubt it's anything we've done but the

school is just wonderful. Our dd's preschool teacher asked us to have

him evaluated around 2 years ago. We did so at no charge through our

school district's early childhood development program. They gave us

their assesment and specified they were not able to officialy

diagnose.

The next school year we placed him in begindergarten (like

kindergarten but only 1/2 days and goverened by the school not

private). His teacher was amazing. We met with her before the school

year started and she tried anything and everything to help our son.

The school provided him with a portable CD player and headset he

could wear when at loud moments. They assigned us a 'team' to work

for him. They had all types of services involved. We decided to take

him to a specialist to have him evaluated and oficially diagnosed.

Our school worked to get every possible test and eval done before his

appt with the specialist. At his appt, we were told our school had

saved us well over $1000 in testing and that they had done an

excellent job.

They have him in sensory at least once a day, more if he needs it.

Last year, if he had a good day (or sometimes a bad day and needed a

break) they let him go to the counselor's office where he played

games with her or Legos. He really loved the one-on-one time with an

adult. They didn't let things slide with him necessarily, but they

knew his limits and worked with him. They have been highly aware of

interactions with others and have, when needed, provided extra help

in the classroom so someone can help guide him and his classmates on

how to interact with eachother. They have asked us for advice on how

to help him when he had meltdowns or what types of things bothered

him. When they had a fire drill coming up, they specifically worked

with him beforehand to help him be prepared for the loud noise and

chaos. The principal has been incredibly involved and there were days

last year when he earned time (for good behavior) to spend with her

in her office too.

We live in a town of less than 15,000 and 3 public elementary

schools. It's not a huge city but they have provided no less than the

absolute best and we are proud of our city and our school district.

Our 4 year old is also in the system in the early childhood

development program at another elementary school in town. He will

attend kingdergarten (hopefully) next year at the same school as our

older son and we have NO wories. As a mom, I can relax when I drop

off my boys each day knowing that they are truley cared for by the

whole staff.

There are many horror stories of school but we have had nothing short

of professionalism and sincere emotional investment from our school.

Sorry this got so long. Best of luck on your speach Roxanna!

Noel from South Dakota!

>

> It is " that time of year " again when I start looking for

information to do a talk about being the parent of a child with sped

needs. Our sped director teaches a class over at Kent and she has

asked us (me and my dh) to come and do a talk to her class about the

problems/unique situations we face as parents of children with

special needs.

>

> SO! With that in mind, in the past I have always asked YOU (all

the experts!) to let me know the kinds of things you would want to

say to school psychologists-in-training. I won't use anyone's name -

I do quote directly sometimes but will replace names with pronouns.

>

> Second question: What is the best sped experience you have ever

had? (i.e. did someone step up to the plate and make things happen

for your child? Did someone provide a service that meant a world of

difference to your child? etc)

>

> I separated the three questions I have so people can respond to

one, two or all three questions as they feel like doing (or none at

all, if you don't want to - but I hope you do!) I do appreciate the

insight and help with this project of mine!

>

>

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

> Roxanna

> You're Unique

> Just like everyone else...

>

[Guest guest]

My best experince is when my son was filled with anxiety about going to the mall with his TSS...I was dropping him off....as we were driving down there...he said ...Mom, I love you!

Another great moment was when he was 5ish....we were going to go to church...he told me he didn't want to go....I said why...he said....You told me that church is God's house and every time we go he is never there.

The best moments too are after I have started to understand his dX ...I began to realize why he acts the way he acts.

The other good thing is that he holds himself together at school...doesn't melt down....I get it all at home.

After working with an agency for a year...getting a Mobile Therapist, BSC and a TSS plus the school and my gaining of knowledge ....he has improved and grown up...he has matured alot....and that is wonderful just looking back and seeing how much he has gained from all this help he is getting. It gives me peace of mind knowing...Yes, he can have a GOOD life...a good job and be happy one day!

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: Roxanna <madideas@...>Subject: ( ) 2 - What is the best?"Asperger" < >Date: Tuesday, September 9, 2008, 10:37 AM

It is "that time of year" again when I start looking for information to do a talk about being the parent of a child with sped needs. Our sped director teaches a class over at Kent and she has asked us (me and my dh) to come and do a talk to her class about the problems/unique situations we face as parents of children with special needs.

SO! With that in mind, in the past I have always asked YOU (all the experts!) to let me know the kinds of things you would want to say to school psychologists- in-training. I won't use anyone's name - I do quote directly sometimes but will replace names with pronouns.

Second question: What is the best sped experience you have ever had? (i.e. did someone step up to the plate and make things happen for your child? Did someone provide a service that meant a world of difference to your child? etc)

I separated the three questions I have so people can respond to one, two or all three questions as they feel like doing (or none at all, if you don't want to - but I hope you do!) I do appreciate the insight and help with this project of mine!

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

RoxannaYou're UniqueJust like everyone else...

[Guest guest]

We're only a little over a week into this school year, but so far it is

the best experience. The school has a new sped teacher who seems

really into her job (spent her free time painting the sped room

relaxing colors over the summer and decorating). Then I got an email

from his regular ed teacher (who has a sped background) yesterday

including " I have to say that [DS] is such a joy. He has such a kind

heart and zest for life. " This is the very first time in the public

school we have a teacher see his good traits, not just the annoying

ones, which has always baffled me because DS is very bright, happy,

sweet and loves to learn.

[Guest guest]

We are in week three out here in Culpeper, and I too am having a

wonderful experience with my boys at school. My oldest in the 3rd

grad is doing pretty well, having a few bumps here and there trying to

get used to the new schedule, but my preschooler is finally starting

to adjust. I am very blessed to have a WONDERFUL public school that

my children attend. They both are at Sycamore Park Elementary School

and everyone there has been great to our family. The school, yes I

said school, has been the one to stand up and fight for our family.

The Special Ed department wanted my youngest son to attend a different

school, but the principal at his school now fought to get him to

attend his school, which was a GREAT move. I am just very lucky to

have a wonderful support group at their school, all of the teachers,

principals, counselors, special ed teachers, support staff and all of

the other staff have been a great blessing.

>

> We're only a little over a week into this school year, but so far it

is

> the best experience. The school has a new sped teacher who seems

> really into her job (spent her free time painting the sped room

> relaxing colors over the summer and decorating). Then I got an

email

> from his regular ed teacher (who has a sped background) yesterday

> including " I have to say that [DS] is such a joy. He has such a

kind

> heart and zest for life. " This is the very first time in the public

> school we have a teacher see his good traits, not just the annoying

> ones, which has always baffled me because DS is very bright, happy,

> sweet and loves to learn.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi all of you!

It's hard to think of the best experience my son (now 22 and working for the U.S. government) had in school. Some of the best happened in high school. He was one of a team picked by his computer science teacher to participate in the University of land's High School Programming Contest. This happened two years in a row! The second year, they won sixth prize among about thirty competing teams, which doesn't sound so impressive, except that they won some money which they could use to buy computer equipment for their school. They were very proud.

In his senior year, he shared the award for best math student in his high school with another student. They were both taking multi-variable calculus at the time. Also in his senior year, he had a great physics teacher who took the whole class on a field trip to Six Flags amusement park in land to study the principles of physics at work in the rides. At first he told the class he didn't want to go because he didn't like to go on amusement park rides. But a group of students who had known him since middle school, and had always admired him and looked out for him, begged him to go, telling him that they would sit next to him on the rides and that everything would be OK. He went and had a great time!

During the last three weeks of his senior year, as part of a school program called "Senior Experience," instead of going to regular classes he shadowed his computer science teacher during the mornings and took part in a joint physics/biology class taught by his own physics teacher and a wonderful biology teacher for the kids who had not arranged for their Senior Experience to take place off campus. They studied rocketry half the time and forensics the other half. The biology teacher told me he was glad that at last he had had a chance to teach Owen, something he had hoped to do for a long time, and that it was worth the wait.

Owen's monitor -- the special ed teacher assigned to look out for him after he no longer needed a personal assistant -- was the one who arranged this Senior Experience. She was very encouraging and made a real effort to get to know him as a person, not just another kid for whom she was responsible.

It's hard to believe that this was the same school in which he had two of his worst experiences! But I'll save that story for another e-mail.

Jill

[Guest guest]

Moving on to the good.

So, after the most horrible begining to Kindergarten you could imagine (see story in "worst" if you've not read it) things changed. An Angel, disguised as a Kindergarten teacher went to the principal and actually REQUESTED that be put into her class. She had seen him at the school, and was facinated by him. She felt like she could make a difference in his life.

From the first moment I met her, I knew that she was a gift to us from God. Bright, energetic, willing to communicate, wanting to do whatever it would take to make 's inclusion placement work. We became a team, and joined in helping this very special little guy. We talked on the phone or emailed daily. Often meeting together.

I can remember one meeting towards the end of the year. She had come up with a new incentive plan that was pretty elaborate. She spent hours working on it, and was explaining it to me. Realizing it was May, and there was only 3 weeks of school left, I asked her if she really wanted to put this much effort into this, since it was almost the end of school. Her answer? She didn't care if there was 3 days left, if it would help , it was worth it!

Then we were blessed another year, because both she and I decided that needed another year of Kindergarten to mature, and she was willing to have him in her class again. Took a bit to convince the principal and IEP team, but they eventually signed on.

Ms Z was only 25, no special ed training, but was the best thing that could have happened for my son (and for me!) Amazing woman. At the end of the year I wrote a poem for her and gave it to her along with a tiffany butterfly lamp. I'd like to share that poem with you.

Wings

I can vividly remember when the decision was made

For to be placed in a

Different Kindergarten classroom

I prayed for this new teacher:

Lord may she have

Eyes that can see more than his difficult behaviors

Ears that can hear past the words he speaks

Arms to embrace him in kindness

A Mouth that will bestow guidance and praise

A Mind that will ponder creative ideas

Wisdom to choose the methods to use

A Will that is even stronger than his!

Breath to fill the air with inspiration

A Heart that will love and see his potential

God answered my prayer

Every word

Spoken and unspoken

I will never be able to adequately express

The gratitude I feel

That you chose to be in my son's life

I hope when you look at this butterfly

You will think of your student

The little blonde boy

Who was so blessed to be in your class

As he continues to soar in the years to come

Remember...

It was you who helped to give him wings

Copyright © 2006 Donna M.

I also made this photo story slide show for her. If you click below, you can see just how "included" my son was. He is the little blonde boy with the bowl type haircut, easy to spot!

We'll Never Forget - Tribute to Ms Zin0