Consistancy

[Guest guest]

It is very frustrating to have a child with so many different moods

and reactions. My son is actually high functioning Autistic, we

bounced for years between AS and autism in diagnosis.

I have found that even though he is not consistant, that if I remain

that way, he conforms easier.

We have chosen a non drug approach to his PDD. We maintain with diet

and consistant demands/praise.

What matters most to your son?

For mine it's computer time. He earns and looses... nothing else

seams to have a greater effect.

Does your son get headaches? do you have warning signs? have you

tried vision therapy vs OT?

I not only have one of 6 of my children with this, but I also

instruct

and give Personal Support to many other children afflicted with these

disorders. I work with many children with many different diagnosis.

My approach is wholey based on societal demands, someday these

children will grow into adults and society won't change it's demands

for them, we need to show them comformity.

The schools don't help in that way. they throw our kids in remedial

rooms and cottle them, they ignore or overlook unexceptable behaviour

and blame it on diagnosis, who are they hurting---OUR KIDS!

Just because our kids are wired different, doesn't mean they can't

accomplish the same things in life. Some of histories greatest minds

are thought to have PDD's.

Did you know that your children have learned to absorb 50% more

information than that of a " normal " child. Can yoiu watch a movie in

fast foreword and understand it? Your child probably can if they

haven't already been trained to " tune it out " .

My son was different from birth, at age three he heard every thing

BUT

me, at age 4 he started intensive therapy, at age 6 he screamed the

majority of he time, the rest of the time he squeeled joyously. At

age 7 we started making him accountable, we started giving him the

opportunity to share his world, in fast foreword, at age 9, he is

cognetively ahead of his peers, and catching up associatively, his

impulses are controlled more and more, and some people don't even see

a disability.

I know he will succeed as an adult with the powers I have given

him... Those powers I got and gave by learning FROM him and being

open minded.

Mine is mainstreamed in school, and I get multiple calls weekly from

his regular ed teacher about outbursts, impulses, emotions etc. His

teacher is awed by his ability to absorb information, and with

regular incouragement from us, he is willing to take th extra effort

with my boy.

In our home there are signs posted, Emotions are feelings

(acceptable) Behaviours are actions (not acceptable). There is a

fine line.

We do not accomodate special needs in our home, we relish them. we

all learn from one another and praise our knowledge.

And all with out drugs.

Patience is the key.

It takes a few months to establish a consistant routine, but once

it's firmly in place... your world comes together more harmoniously.

Now years after we decided that our boy would be a member of society,

we do stay out later than normal sometimes, he adjusts, we can take

him to places with high stimuli and encourage him and join him in

being abe to enjoy normal childhood experiences.

It can be done and for he better of you and your children... and

eventually you and your Bo can take that needed time together and

have a secure feeling that your life isn't going to fall apart

momentarily because of it.

God bless our incredibly AWESOME children!

Tam~

[Guest guest]

Tammy- It sounds like you have done a wonderful job creating a home envirnoment where your son can thrive. He's accepted for who he is and has a clear cut understanding of what is expected of him. I try very hard in our home to create that consistant environment and in a lot of areas I believe I have been successful. And my dd is doing very well, she is a high school freshman with currently a straight A average. She for the first time has a small group of friends at school (not much interaction outside of school though) I do have terrific intentions about maintaining consistancy at home, but I often fall on my face. I am dealing with my own ADD issues at home, while at the same time trying to help take care of my parents, my father has mobility issues that fluctuate up and down and my mother is in the early stages of Alzeimers. So, there are many days where life is

just chaos. But I keep trying. I am glad to hear that it is successful for you though, perhaps I'll get there someday.Tammy <jessejames_outlaw2000@...> wrote: It is very frustrating to have a child with so many different moods and reactions. My son is actually high functioning Autistic, we bounced for years between AS and autism in diagnosis.I have found that even though he is not consistant, that if I remain that way, he conforms easier.We have chosen a non drug approach to his PDD. We

maintain with diet and consistant demands/praise.What matters most to your son?For mine it's computer time. He earns and looses... nothing else seams to have a greater effect.Does your son get headaches? do you have warning signs? have you tried vision therapy vs OT?I not only have one of 6 of my children with this, but I also instruct and give Personal Support to many other children afflicted with these disorders. I work with many children with many different diagnosis. My approach is wholey based on societal demands, someday these children will grow into adults and society won't change it's demands for them, we need to show them comformity.The schools don't help in that way. they throw our kids in remedial rooms and cottle them, they ignore or overlook unexceptable behaviour and blame it on diagnosis, who are they hurting---OUR KIDS!Just because our kids are wired different, doesn't mean they can't

accomplish the same things in life. Some of histories greatest minds are thought to have PDD's.Did you know that your children have learned to absorb 50% more information than that of a "normal" child. Can yoiu watch a movie in fast foreword and understand it? Your child probably can if they haven't already been trained to "tune it out".My son was different from birth, at age three he heard every thing BUT me, at age 4 he started intensive therapy, at age 6 he screamed the majority of he time, the rest of the time he squeeled joyously. At age 7 we started making him accountable, we started giving him the opportunity to share his world, in fast foreword, at age 9, he is cognetively ahead of his peers, and catching up associatively, his impulses are controlled more and more, and some people don't even see a disability.I know he will succeed as an adult with the powers I have given him... Those powers I got

and gave by learning FROM him and being open minded.Mine is mainstreamed in school, and I get multiple calls weekly from his regular ed teacher about outbursts, impulses, emotions etc. His teacher is awed by his ability to absorb information, and with regular incouragement from us, he is willing to take th extra effort with my boy.In our home there are signs posted, Emotions are feelings (acceptable) Behaviours are actions (not acceptable). There is a fine line. We do not accomodate special needs in our home, we relish them. we all learn from one another and praise our knowledge.And all with out drugs.Patience is the key.It takes a few months to establish a consistant routine, but once it's firmly in place... your world comes together more harmoniously. Now years after we decided that our boy would be a member of society, we do stay out later than normal sometimes, he adjusts, we can take him to places

with high stimuli and encourage him and join him in being abe to enjoy normal childhood experiences.It can be done and for he better of you and your children... and eventually you and your Bo can take that needed time together and have a secure feeling that your life isn't going to fall apart momentarily because of it.God bless our incredibly AWESOME children!Tam~

[Guest guest]

Carol. I have no "help" for you,,,,,but want to tell you that you are a wonderful mom and you are a wonderful daughter. You have your emotional plate filled as well as your physical plate. Keep doing what you can. You sound very strong.........but we all get tired. SO,,,,,stay on "here" for support!!!!! If I was closer, I'd try to help you. Have a great day. Robin (Normal is a cycle on a washing machine)Carol Latimer <lvs2sing@...> wrote: Tammy- It sounds like you have done a wonderful job creating a home envirnoment where your son can thrive. He's accepted for who he is and has a clear cut understanding of what is expected of him. I try very hard in our home to create that consistant environment and in a lot of areas I believe I have been successful. And my dd is doing very well, she is a high school freshman with currently a straight A average. She for the first time has a small group of friends at school (not much interaction outside of school though) I do have terrific intentions about maintaining consistancy at home, but I often fall on my face. I am dealing with my own ADD issues at home, while at the same time trying to help take care of my parents, my father has mobility issues that fluctuate up and down

and my mother is in the early stages of Alzeimers. So, there are many days where life is just chaos. But I keep trying. I am glad to hear that it is successful for you though, perhaps I'll get there someday.Tammy <jessejames_outlaw2000 > wrote: It is very frustrating to have a child with so many different moods and reactions. My son is actually high functioning Autistic, we bounced for years between AS and autism in diagnosis.I have found that even though he is not consistant, that if I remain that way, he conforms easier.We have chosen a non drug approach to his PDD. We maintain with diet and consistant demands/praise.What matters most to your son?For mine it's computer time. He earns and looses... nothing else seams to have a greater effect.Does your son get headaches? do

you have warning signs? have you tried vision therapy vs OT?I not only have one of 6 of my children with this, but I also instruct and give Personal Support to many other children afflicted with these disorders. I work with many children with many different diagnosis. My approach is wholey based on societal demands, someday these children will grow into adults and society won't change it's demands for them, we need to show them comformity.The schools don't help in that way. they throw our kids in remedial rooms and cottle them, they ignore or overlook unexceptable behaviour and blame it on diagnosis, who are they hurting---OUR KIDS!Just because our kids are wired different, doesn't mean they can't accomplish the same things in life. Some of histories greatest minds are thought to have PDD's.Did you know that your children have learned to absorb 50% more information than that of a "normal" child. Can yoiu watch

a movie in fast foreword and understand it? Your child probably can if they haven't already been trained to "tune it out".My son was different from birth, at age three he heard every thing BUT me, at age 4 he started intensive therapy, at age 6 he screamed the majority of he time, the rest of the time he squeeled joyously. At age 7 we started making him accountable, we started giving him the opportunity to share his world, in fast foreword, at age 9, he is cognetively ahead of his peers, and catching up associatively, his impulses are controlled more and more, and some people don't even see a disability.I know he will succeed as an adult with the powers I have given him... Those powers I got and gave by learning FROM him and being open minded.Mine is mainstreamed in school, and I get multiple calls weekly from his regular ed teacher about outbursts, impulses, emotions etc. His teacher is awed by his

ability to absorb information, and with regular incouragement from us, he is willing to take th extra effort with my boy.In our home there are signs posted, Emotions are feelings (acceptable) Behaviours are actions (not acceptable). There is a fine line. We do not accomodate special needs in our home, we relish them. we all learn from one another and praise our knowledge.And all with out drugs.Patience is the key.It takes a few months to establish a consistant routine, but once it's firmly in place... your world comes together more harmoniously. Now years after we decided that our boy would be a member of society, we do stay out later than normal sometimes, he adjusts, we can take him to places with high stimuli and encourage him and join him in being abe to enjoy normal childhood experiences.It can be done and for he better of you and your children... and eventually you and your Bo can take that needed

time together and have a secure feeling that your life isn't going to fall apart momentarily because of it.God bless our incredibly AWESOME children!Tam~ __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Normal is a cycle on a washing machine.

Oh, my gosh, I LOVE THAT.........that IS great, ROBIN!!!!

And, does it wash the clothes NORMAL, really?

RUTHIE---just love it, ROBIN...have a great day.

[Guest guest]

Glad you like it!!!I had a "breakdown" this weekend (ha ha). My inlaws came up for 4 days and stayed with us...... So,,,,,everything was out of whack.......the kids love them,,,,,but everythign is STILL thrown out of sorts..............breakdowns,,,,,,ugh. I was trying to make us look like the perfect, normal fam.....ha ha. Anyway,,,,,,the minute the inlaws headed out,,,,I was in tears..........(again ha ha). My mom told me that years ago,,,,she heard someone tell her that thing about "normal" when she started working at the "psych ward". So,,,,,,,,,,,,it fit.....and it's gonna stay. Ha . Glad you enjoyed!!!! WE SHOULD ALL PUT UP SIGNS SAYING THAT!!!!!!!Robin BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123@...> wrote: Normal is a cycle on a washing machine. Oh, my gosh, I LOVE THAT.........that IS great, ROBIN!!!! And, does it wash the clothes NORMAL, really? RUTHIE---just love it, ROBIN...have a great day. __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I understand totally...in laws can be disappointing can't they? I always thought MINE would be as wonderful as my parents...they aren't...my father-in-law rocks but my mother-in-law is soooooo difficult........her daughter / my husband's sister was here this week---she is 42 now though, and she is wonderful---she came and surprised my husband (I knew) for his b-day; that was great--------she spent last weekend with them, and that was enough for her!!!--------due to her mom---------anyway, we 'avoid' them as much as possible because of that. FOUR DAYS--------you are a SAINT!!!!!!!!!!!! Two, and I am ready for HER to leave.....my father-in-law could move in but not her for sure!!!!!!!!!! She would send my kids OVER THE EDGE FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like your family handles it better than ours.............

My folks are coming today to see our new house so I have to clean and get that done (lucky me!)...........so, I best go.....Ruthie

From: jrisjs@...Date: Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:45:46 -0700Subject: RE: ( ) Consistancy

Glad you like it!!!I had a "breakdown" this weekend (ha ha). My inlaws came up for 4 days and stayed with us......

So,,,,,everything was out of whack.......the kids love them,,,,,but everythign is STILL thrown out of sorts..............breakdowns,,,,,,ugh.

I was trying to make us look like the perfect, normal fam.....ha ha.

Anyway,,,,,,the minute the inlaws headed out,,,,I was in tears..........(again ha ha).

My mom told me that years ago,,,,she heard someone tell her that thing about "normal" when she started working at the "psych ward".

So,,,,,,,,,,,,it fit.....and it's gonna stay.

Ha .

Glad you enjoyed!!!!

WE SHOULD ALL PUT UP SIGNS SAYING THAT!!!!!!!Robin

BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote:

Normal is a cycle on a washing machine.

Oh, my gosh, I LOVE THAT.........that IS great, ROBIN!!!!

And, does it wash the clothes NORMAL, really?

RUTHIE---just love it, ROBIN...have a great day.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Ya know. Their hearts are SO in the right place. But,,,they show up with soda and candy and my kids know now that I won't let it happen. The whole time is spent with me saying,,,"no....wait till after lunch..supper,,,,whatever". My kids, actually, just get so wired and off-kilter when there is a change,,,,that we all look like undisciplined, whiny, yellling, freaks. I feel myself unraveling when we stay with them or they are here. It's not when we travel to a hotel.........becasue there is "calm" time or a place that is just ours.....if that makes sense. Ugh......... I always vow to not let it get to me NEXT time. To not care what we seem like NEXT time. One of these years, I'm really gonna do what I intend on doing. Hee hee. RobinBRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123@...> wrote: I understand totally...in laws can be disappointing can't they? I always thought MINE would be as wonderful as my parents...they aren't...my father-in-law rocks but my mother-in-law is soooooo difficult........her daughter / my husband's sister was here this week---she is 42 now though, and she is wonderful---she came and surprised my husband (I knew) for his b-day; that was great--------she spent last weekend with them, and that was enough for her!!!--------due to her mom---------anyway, we 'avoid' them as much as possible because of

that. FOUR DAYS--------you are a SAINT!!!!!!!!!!!! Two, and I am ready for HER to leave.....my father-in-law could move in but not her for sure!!!!!!!!!! She would send my kids OVER THE EDGE FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sounds like your family handles it better than ours............. My folks are coming today to see our new house so I have to clean and get that done (lucky me!)...........so, I best go.....Ruthie From: jrisjs Date: Fri, 11 Apr 2008 05:45:46 -0700Subject: RE: ( ) Consistancy Glad you like it!!!I had a "breakdown" this weekend (ha ha). My inlaws came up for 4 days and stayed with us...... So,,,,,everything was out of whack.......the kids love

them,,,,,but everythign is STILL thrown out of sorts..............breakdowns,,,,,,ugh. I was trying to make us look like the perfect, normal fam.....ha ha. Anyway,,,,,,the minute the inlaws headed out,,,,I was in tears..........(again ha ha). My mom told me that years ago,,,,she heard someone tell her that thing about "normal" when she started working at the "psych ward". So,,,,,,,,,,,,it fit.....and it's gonna stay. Ha . Glad you enjoyed!!!! WE SHOULD ALL PUT UP SIGNS SAYING THAT!!!!!!!Robin BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Normal is a cycle on a washing machine. Oh, my gosh, I LOVE THAT.........that IS great, ROBIN!!!! And, does it wash the clothes NORMAL, really? RUTHIE---just love it, ROBIN...have a great day. __________________________________________________