Guest guest Posted September 17, 2007 Report Share Posted September 17, 2007 Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts and I can't believe that something like that could really happen. Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am assuming they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you have to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter that you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It is not your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is THEIRS for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! I would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you live in. Remember, you are the ultimate authority for your child, not them. Teach your son the values that you think are important and don't let anyone penalize your child for their disability. Our kids have a hard enough way to go, they shouldn't be subject to that type of ignorance. Debbie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 18, 2007 Report Share Posted September 18, 2007 I have been gone a while and am just jumping right back in. I have to agree. This is the wrong content for the letter. It is far too degrading and makes me think there is a problem with self-esteem if those were your sons words; if they are the schools words, then you need to have a long talk with the board. Returning the letter he wrote would just cement his self esteem. In addition, I would have a talk with the principal if not the school board. The obviously need to put up a fence if there isn't one already and provide more supervision. Perhaps the principal should write a letter apologizing for allowing this to happen in the first place. <1/2 tongue in cheek> Jim > > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts and I > can't believe that something like that could really happen. > > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am assuming > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you have > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter that > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It is not > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is THEIRS > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! I > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you live in. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Is the school going to ask the bullies to write also a letter? I really hope they understand that waht your son suffered was bullying. Good for you fo writting your letter!!! Have a great day. F > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Thank you to all who took the time to write a note with suggestions and opinions. In return, from Principal, I received the following message: " Thank you for the email. You are likely aware that --- is one of three students that trespassed and handled personal property belonging to one of our neighbours. All three students wrote apology letters. I am confident that --- is remorseful. He is a fine, caring student and I am sure he will have another great year. " I am going to leave things as is for the time being, but in the back of my mind I do hope that the point I was making to the school stands out: My son - though admittedly is not without responsibility - was, however, " baited " into an action that was beyond his ability to grasp and his culpability was not similar in nature to the person whose intentions were unsavory. Thanks folks! > > > > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts and I > > can't believe that something like that could really happen. > > > > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am assuming > > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you have > > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter that > > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It is not > > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is THEIRS > > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! I > > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you live in. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 I second that, Jim. RobinJim Wissick <jwissick@...> wrote: I have been gone a while and am just jumping right back in.I have to agree. This is the wrong content for the letter. It is fartoo degrading and makes me think there is a problem with self-esteem ifthose were your sons words; if they are the schools words, then youneed to have a long talk with the board. Returning the letter he wrotewould just cement his self esteem.In addition, I would have a talk with the principal if not the schoolboard. The obviously need to put up a fence if there isn't one alreadyand provide more supervision. Perhaps the principal should write aletter apologizing for allowing this to happen in the first place. <1/2tongue in cheek>Jim>> Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts and I> can't believe that something like that could really happen.>> Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am assuming> they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you have> to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter that> you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It is not> your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is THEIRS> for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! I> would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you live in.> Don't let your dream ride pass you by. Make it a reality with Autos. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Was he told WHAT to write? Or were those HIS words? Robintdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote: Thank you to all who took the time to write a note with suggestions and opinions. In return, from Principal, I received the following message:"Thank you for the email. You are likely aware that --- is one of three students that trespassed and handled personal property belonging to one of our neighbours. All three students wrote apology letters. I am confident that --- is remorseful. He is a fine, caring student and I am sure he will have another great year."I am going to leave things as is for the time being, but in the back of my mind I do hope that the point I was making to the school stands out: My son - though admittedly is not without responsibility - was, however, "baited" into an action that was beyond his ability to grasp and his culpability was not similar in nature to the person whose intentions were unsavory. Thanks folks!> >> > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts and I> > can't believe that something like that could really happen.> >> > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am assuming> > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you have> > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter that> > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It is not> > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is THEIRS> > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! I> > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you live in.> > >> Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows. Answers - Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 I applaud you for telling your son he is not bad. Long ago I learned to tell a child they made a bad choice, but they are not bad. With my last child I rephrased this by saying, " I love it when you make wise choices. The next time (fill in the blank) happens, I know you will make a wise choice. " In the case of your son I would add, " If someone is not helping you make a wise choice or if you're not sure it's a wise choice, come and ask me or another adult " This approach empowers our children to say to another, " I only make wise choices " . This simple sentence gives our children the control they need when unpleasant situations arise. Kelley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 I applaud you for telling your son he is not bad. Long ago I learned to tell a child they made a bad choice, but they are not bad. With my last child I rephrased this by saying, " I love it when you make wise choices. The next time (fill in the blank) happens, I know you will make a wise choice. " In the case of your son I would add, " If someone is not helping you make a wise choice or if you're not sure it's a wise choice, come and ask me or another adult " This approach empowers our children to say to another, " I only make wise choices " . This simple sentence gives our children the control they need when unpleasant situations arise. Kelley Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Thanks Kelley, In addition, I asked my son whether at any time he had a feeling inside his chest telling him it was not wise to go inside the person's yard. To this he answered, 'yes'. So, I explained, that is your conscience - sort of God's voice inside your body - warning you about a bad choice. I told him that the feeling is very smart because it comes from God and that it is always a good idea to listen to it. Velvet > > I applaud you for telling your son he is not bad. Long ago I > learned to tell a child they made a bad choice, but they are not bad. > With my last child I rephrased this by saying, " I love it when you > make wise choices. The next time (fill in the blank) happens, I know > you will make a wise choice. " In the case of your son I would add, " If > someone is not helping you make a wise choice or if you're not sure > it's a wise choice, come and ask me or another adult " > This approach empowers our children to say to another, " I only make > wise choices " . > This simple sentence gives our children the control they need when > unpleasant situations arise. > > > Kelley > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 Sadly, those were his own words... I think he was attempting in his own way to make amends for a slight that was beyond his grasp and by appologizing profusely, was covering all bases for that which he did not understand. (Poor guy!) > > > > > > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts > and I > > > can't believe that something like that could really happen. > > > > > > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am > assuming > > > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you > have > > > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter > that > > > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It > is not > > > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is > THEIRS > > > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! > I > > > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you > live in. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows. > Answers - Check it out. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 19, 2007 Report Share Posted September 19, 2007 I was wondering, because my son can get overly sorry.....like that at times, too. Kind of goes with his personality. Not that he doesn't have self-esteem. Just that he doesn't 'get' the correct social response all the time. Has he moved on better than you from all this? Robintdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote: Sadly, those were his own words... I think he was attempting in his own way to make amends for a slight that was beyond his grasp and by appologizing profusely, was covering all bases for that which he did not understand. (Poor guy!)> > >> > > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts > and I> > > can't believe that something like that could really happen.> > >> > > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am > assuming> > > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean you > have> > > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter > that> > > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It > is not> > > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is > THEIRS> > > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! > I> > > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you > live in.> > > > >> >> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from someone who knows.> Answers - Check it out.> Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows. Answers - Check it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Um hum, my son is very sweet and does not hold on to grudges whatsoever. He is a kindly soul. I do, however, sometimes worry about his self-esteem and how he will do later on in life. So far, it has been a good start to the new school year and for the first time, he has had a couple of people over and actually went to another boy's house yesterday as well. : ) > > > > > > > > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts > > and I > > > > can't believe that something like that could really happen. > > > > > > > > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am > > assuming > > > > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean > you > > have > > > > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter > > that > > > > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It > > is not > > > > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is > > THEIRS > > > > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! > > I > > > > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you > > live in. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from > someone who knows. > > Answers - Check it out. > > > > > > > > > --------------------------------- > Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows. > Answers - Check it out. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 20, 2007 Report Share Posted September 20, 2007 Yay for your son!!!! Isn't that an incredible feeling? Robintdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote: Um hum, my son is very sweet and does not hold on to grudges whatsoever. He is a kindly soul. I do, however, sometimes worry about his self-esteem and how he will do later on in life. So far, it has been a good start to the new school year and for the first time, he has had a couple of people over and actually went to another boy's house yesterday as well. : )> > > >> > > > Oh my Gosh! Are you kidding me??? Sometimes I read these posts > > and I> > > > can't believe that something like that could really happen.> > > >> > > > Just because they tell your son to write a letter, and I am > > assuming> > > > they gave him those utterly inappropriate words, doesn't mean > you > > have> > > > to condone it. You could have your son write the type of letter > > that> > > > you think is appropriate, like one where he's not degraded. It > > is not> > > > your son's ultimate responsibility for leaving the yard, it is > > THEIRS> > > > for their lack of proper supervision. I would be angry at THEM! > > I> > > > would be curious as to how old your son is and what state you > > live in.> > > > > > >> > >> > > > > > > > > > > > > > ---------------------------------> > Be a better Heartthrob. Get better relationship answers from > someone who knows.> > Answers - Check it out.> >> > > > > > > ---------------------------------> Be a better Globetrotter. Get better travel answers from someone who knows.> Answers - Check it out.> Tonight's top picks. What will you watch tonight? Preview the hottest shows on TV. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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