Re: Does your child show empathy? If so, how?

[Guest guest]

We have always taught to say I'm sorry.. so when he hurts

someone or does something that's not quite right.. We hear the

" rehearsed " " I'm sorry " ... it's usually flat and unemotional!!

Jackie

On Sep 6, 2007, at 7:35 PM, Kelley wrote:

> Noah has no empathy at all. If he hurts someone, he goes about his

> business as if it never happened. I have ALWAYS thought this was an

> Aspie trait but today Noah's therapist told me " not true " . He said

> Aspies have their own way of showing empathy and that Noah's lack of

> apathy is a very big problem aside from his Asperger's.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

On May 6, 9:26am, " Kelley " wrote:

} Noah has no empathy at all. If he hurts someone, he goes about his=20

} business as if it never happened. I have ALWAYS thought this was an=20

} Aspie trait but today Noah's therapist told me " not true " . He said=20

} Aspies have their own way of showing empathy and that Noah's lack of=20

} apathy is a very big problem aside from his Asperger's.

I don't think I've ever seen Bam display genuine regret over hurting

someone, though he can feel and express concern over someone being hurt.

Willa

[Guest guest]

Willa, your therapist advice is not true for my son. When my son was younger, he was the same as your Noah. He had to be taught how to act and what to do and say if someone got hurt. I always wondered if someone can be taught empathy and how would I teach it? but through roll play, therapy, and being consistant, he now will ask, are you alright? I don't think he will know what to do if the person says no. but he will now ask, even say sorry. He's 10. RoseWilla Hunt <willaful@...> wrote: On May 6, 9:26am, "Kelley" wrote:} Noah has no empathy at all. If he hurts someone, he goes about his=20} business as if it never happened. I have ALWAYS thought this was an=20} Aspie trait but today Noah's therapist told me "not true". He said=20} Aspies have their own way of showing empathy and that Noah's lack of=20} apathy is a very big problem aside from his Asperger's.I don't think I've ever seen Bam display genuine regret over hurtingsomeone, though he can feel and express concern over someone being hurt.Willa

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[Guest guest]

I am very thankful that my son is so loving. I even remember at age 3

when my exhusband and me would get into a fight and I would start

crying he would come into the bedroom and hug me. So sweet. Donna

> } Noah has no empathy at all. If he hurts someone, he goes about

his=20

> } business as if it never happened. I have ALWAYS thought this was

an=20

> } Aspie trait but today Noah's therapist told me " not true " . He

said=20

> } Aspies have their own way of showing empathy and that Noah's lack

of=20

> } apathy is a very big problem aside from his Asperger's.

>

> I don't think I've ever seen Bam display genuine regret over hurting

> someone, though he can feel and express concern over someone being

hurt.

>

> Willa

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Take the Internet to Go: Go puts the Internet in your pocket:

mail, news, photos & more.

>

[Guest guest]

On May 6, 11:04am, Rose wrote:

} Willa,

} your therapist advice is not true for my son. When my son was younger, he

was the same as your Noah.

That wasn't me who wrote about a therapist. I was responding to someone

else.

Willa

[Guest guest]

What do you think about this? I recently learned Noah intentionally

hurts his sister when he is angry with her. I asked him how he feels

when he sees her crying, the said, " My anger goes away. " Noah also

loves to control our dog and has punished her for simple things

like, barking. He also has traits of manipulation. He'll come to me,

look in my eyes and tell me how much he loves me, then give me a

kiss, then wait an appropriate amount of time before saying, " Do you

think we could go to the video store? " It took me a long time to

pick up on this as I didn't think Aspies were capable of

manipulation.

Noah's therapist said that although he is clearly an aspie, he has

alarming traits that have nothing to do with it:

No empathy or guilt when purposely hurting others

Wanting to have power or control over others

Manipulative passive or aggressive

Harming animals

I still wonder if these are traits he learned or are reactive due to

the sexual abuse he endured for so long. He's had no control in so

many areas of his life.....perhaps the pent up anger has found a way

out. Everyone has always said Noah is an enigma, including me. Just

when I think I understand him...

Thanks for all your insight and for sharing your experiences.

Kelley

[Guest guest]

Hi, just my thoughts.

First, he has been through a lot. Might be due to that, at least

partially. Some type anger or reaction to it all and/or now not

having that relationship (change). Might be something he learned

from that guy these past years, he might have been that way towards

others.

Else - conduct or behavioral or personality disorders have some of

those behaviors you mentioned.

It could be that if he was...hmmm...genetically linked/prone to one

of the above, that it's been triggered.

I don't generally think of the way your son manipulated you, in your

example, as part of the autism. Not to say that those with autism

can't or don't manipulate, they can. Maybe it's more the way he did

it...no tantrum or something but being loving about it...sort of like

a regular teen can be, come to think of it! But his hurting his

sister or the dog does make me think something more is going on too.

SIGH! Why can't things be easy to figure out!

Good thing - at least you know he's doing these things now!

>

> What do you think about this? I recently learned Noah intentionally

> hurts his sister when he is angry with her. I asked him how he

feels

> when he sees her crying, the said, " My anger goes away. " Noah also

> loves to control our dog and has punished her for simple things

> like, barking. He also has traits of manipulation. He'll come to

me,

[Guest guest]

Saber has been almost role playing with his stuffed animals. It started around the same time he started saying I'm sorry when he's done something wrong. I am working on him broadening this from toys to the real worldKelley <aspieparentof1@...> wrote: Noah has no empathy at all. If he hurts someone, he goes about his business as if it never happened. I have ALWAYS thought this was an Aspie trait but today Noah's therapist told me "not true". He said Aspies have their own way of showing empathy and that Noah's lack of apathy is a

very big problem aside from his Asperger's.

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