A glimpse of our future

[Guest guest]

In coming to deal with the reality of my 6-yo son having an Asperger's

diagnosis, I'd love to have a glimpse of what our future might look

like. Now, I totally realize that every child is different, every

diagnosis of AS is different, and what one person might have

experienced doesn't necessarily correlate to what we will experience.

However, I would be very interested in finding out what others in

circumstance similar to ours have experienced.

My son is 6. He was a pretty intense but very happy baby and

toddler. He'd have huge meltdowns as a toddler and early preschooler,

but they've tapered off a bit (now we're at mini-meltdowns a few times

a week, huge meltdowns a couple of times a month). He's always been

very social...loves to be around other people regardless of their age.

He's always made friends easily, always finds someone to play with

wherever we are. BUT he's at times very defiant and very aggressive,

and it's been very unpredictable. He's lost some friends because he's

hurt them too many times (physically)...not always through meanness,

but because he just plays too rough. He's been diagnosed with SPD,

specifically sensory-seeking issues and some motor planning things

(small motor, bilateral coord., etc). In school, he has huge issues

with personal space. Between that and aggression on the playground,

they've advised us to find a new school (it's a traditional Catholic

school...they can do that!!). On average he gets a notice of concern

for having hurt someone about twice a week, which is too often for

their liking and mine, too. He does fine during structured

activities, he isn't having trouble learning at all. He's very

intelligent (GAI ~ 130), but seems to have a lot of trouble with

social cues. The psychologist diagnosed him with ASD after his

psycho-ed tests and several observations along with questionnaires

from us and his teachers.

Everything I've read says that AS tends to become more and more

noticeable as the years go on. If this sounds like any of your kids

at Kdg age, I'd love to hear how your child grew/is growing and what

kinds of therapies/interventions/schools etc were helpful.

Thanks!!

Ginnie

[Guest guest]

Hi Ginny

This is an amazingly supportive list and I am sure you will hear from a lot of people. I can't tell you what types of programs or support there is out there because neither my son or my hubby had the advantage of even knowing what was wrong with them because no one knew about aspergers when they were growing up but I can tell you how they turned out or what kind of men they grew into.

My hubby has worked since he was 16 , he did not finish school but that was because of a bad home life. We were married when he was 20 and I was 19....I have never had to worry about him doing his best to keep a roof over our heads and food in our stomachs....I have contributed as well by teaching piano from the home when adam started school full time. So as not to confuse the listers, I became a certified dog trainer 10 yrs ago as well...or longer ....can't remember.

Anyway, my hubby was a good dad and is a good hubby, he has meltdowns still but not nearly as many and tries very hard not to have them.

My son went to college , completed 3 yrs , then met the wrong girl and dropped out of college, went on to become a manager at 's , met the right girl, got married , went to Truck Driving School, had their first baby, my aspie grandson and bought their first home 3 yrs ago, have had another baby who I also believe is on the spectrum but she is too young to diagnose, bought their second home, and he is the main support financially for his family, is a great Dad and a good hubby.

There my dear, have Hope :-)

hugs

brenda

From: ginniehoover@...Date: Sat, 15 Dec 2007 18:54:40 +0000Subject: ( ) A glimpse of our future

In coming to deal with the reality of my 6-yo son having an Asperger'sdiagnosis, I'd love to have a glimpse of what our future might looklike. Now, I totally realize that every child is different, everydiagnosis of AS is different, and what one person might haveexperienced doesn't necessarily correlate to what we will experience.However, I would be very interested in finding out what others incircumstance similar to ours have experienced. My son is 6. He was a pretty intense but very happy baby andtoddler. He'd have huge meltdowns as a toddler and early preschooler,but they've tapered off a bit (now we're at mini-meltdowns a few timesa week, huge meltdowns a couple of times a month). He's always beenvery social...loves to be around other people regardless of their age.He's always made friends easily, always finds someone to play withwherever we are. BUT he's at times very defiant and very aggressive,and it's been very unpredictable. He's lost some friends because he'shurt them too many times (physically)...not always through meanness,but because he just plays too rough. He's been diagnosed with SPD,specifically sensory-seeking issues and some motor planning things(small motor, bilateral coord., etc). In school, he has huge issueswith personal space. Between that and aggression on the playground,they've advised us to find a new school (it's a traditional Catholicschool...they can do that!!). On average he gets a notice of concernfor having hurt someone about twice a week, which is too often fortheir liking and mine, too. He does fine during structuredactivities, he isn't having trouble learning at all. He's veryintelligent (GAI ~ 130), but seems to have a lot of trouble withsocial cues. The psychologist diagnosed him with ASD after hispsycho-ed tests and several observations along with questionnairesfrom us and his teachers.Everything I've read says that AS tends to become more and morenoticeable as the years go on. If this sounds like any of your kidsat Kdg age, I'd love to hear how your child grew/is growing and whatkinds of therapies/interventions/schools etc were helpful.Thanks!!Ginnie HO HO HO, if you've been nice this year, email Santa! Visit asksanta.ca to learn more!

[Guest guest]

My AS son is 17. We struggled through early adolescence but now at 17 things are calming down a bit...will it last? My son has always needed "natural consequences" to learn. He has his driver's permit. He has many friends which revolve around his interest (music). One thing I have noticed is that his friends (typical teenagers) seem to be able to juggle many things (school, job, girlfriend, band), but my son is not able to do that. He has one focus and one focus only (music/band). His angry outbursts have lessened and overall he is much easier to manage behaviorally. We have had to pick our battles. My father is also AS and it is like seeing the writing on the wall (or future for my son). If he turns out like my dad, then he will be successful. My father has always had issues (angry outbursts, obsessions, etc), but he was and is a wonderful father and provider. He has finally retired from teaching (college math professor) at age 75. He has mellowed as he has gotten older and he and my mom enjoy traveling (even though he is very rigid about planning vacations). Pam :)See AOL's top rated recipes and easy ways to stay in shape for winter.