After a summer of my son being in the hospital...

[Guest guest]

My son went into a general behavioral hospital on May 2nd in OKC,

which is 3 hours from where I live because this state is soooo poorly

equipped for any mental illness... By May 21st, he was transferred to

an Autism Specific hospital that has been great, except with a limited

income, I haven't been able to go see him except once or twice a

month... This hospital has its ups and downs in my book, but

being in a place where the closest mental facility is 3 hours away, I

can't really be choosy, can I?

The one thing that bothered me is that his therapist there mentioned

to me that I should hold my son out of Kindergarten if the school is

ill equipped to deal with him, rather than push any changes for the

school to be able to handle him, because small town Oklahoma schools

rarely agree to make the changes, and when they do, they make a

minimal attempt just to assuage the parents desire to have their child

taught... I have had one other person who I would have thought would

be on the child's side in this matter tell me that if I don't get the

answers I like from the school then perhaps I'd be better off moving

to a bigger town (which would be a great big problem considering I go

to college here in this town) rather than pursuing any legal action on

the school IF they refuse to comply. " You wouldn't get any money from

them, its a poor area, the school doesn't have any money " This

furiated me.... I wouldn't sue a school for money, I'd sue to insure

my child is getting an education he deserves!!

Rewind to LAST year. I moved here from Illinois, where my son was in

the early intervention program although no one there was quite sure

what he might have. They paid for him to go to preschool and have

therapists come in and work with him and all sorts of other things. I

admit that the reasons behind moving here was that the cost of living

here in podunk Oklahoma is alot less expensive than living in the

Chicago area. I need to get some college education for myself so that

I can make the kind of money it takes to raise 4 kids... I went

happily to the elementary school and explained the situation, and gave

them all of the papers that I received in Chicago on my son, and told

them that I would probably need an IEP on him. That was in August.

He lasted 2 weeks, with daily trips to the principals office, cuz he

refused to take a nap, and just kept escalating after that everyday.

They asked that we keep him out, because Preschool isn't required in

OK and they figured he was just not socially and emotionally ready for

school yet. At this point, we were moving forward assuming that the

family doctor's diagnosis of Bipolar was correct. a few months later,

we were told by a psychologist that she recommended us to look into an

Asperger's diagnosis. When we got the diagnosis of Aspergers, we went

to the school and asked for an IEP. The IEP didn't show any problems

cognitivly, so we were told that he wasn't eligible for one.

Now, its time for school to start here, and Aus will be getting out of

the hospital on August 3.

My biggest concern is that without an IEP the school will continue to

call me out of class to come pick my son up. He is going into

Kindergarten this year, and I don't want him to get the idea that as

long as he acts up, he can go home from school. I also don't want to

fail another semester of school because I keep getting called out of

class... I know, that's selfish, but I'm also thinking that if I had

a " real " job, I would lose it if everyday I had to go get my kid from

school, and therefore couldn't stay at work.

I know this is a long post, and I'm sorry, but I was wondering if

anyone could give me some advice for getting the IEP so I can get him

into school... I'm going to meet with the school Special education

director and the principal on the 6th, and will have all the discharge

papers and stuff... to try to drive the point home. if there's

anything else you can tell me, I would appreciate it. Thanks, Aimee

[Guest guest]

Oh Amie! Sorry you are having such trouble. OK. Ask the hosp or pdoc. to write a short letter stating some of the most critical needs your son has along with recommended accommodations. The school can NOT go against a Dr. letter b/c they are not doctors. As for suing the school, the most you can do is to sue for compliance. There is really no $$ involved.

Can you go on line and look for an advocate in your area? What town are you in? Sounds like Ada, OK. I can ask on some of my other lists to see if anyone knows of an advocate near you. Georgia has a state assoc. that provides free advice. Try to google this for OK. Go to the s Law web site. It might be overwhelming but you can print our a few things to take to the school to show that you KNOW your rights. Schools love to tell you they CAN'T do something and they are so shocked that you are even asking. This is all bluff. Let them know that you KNOW your rights. Again, if you are able to take an advocate with you it is better. Also, take a tape recorder. They will tell you that it is not allowed. Again, tell them that you know your rights and this is one of them. They are free to get up and go get one themselves. The recorder will help you after the meeting. Not only will you have their bluffs on tape but it MIGHT keep them from making as many as they would. Now I did say MIGHT. This is a school you are dealing with.

Can you tell me the name of the hosp? I'm curious for personal reasons. I have never heard of a psych hosp that was for asperger.

If you can't find an advocate, find a friend that you would not mind hearing all the JUNK about your son that will be discussed and drag her to the meeting also. You can invite anyone you want. You can also invite the spec. ed director if you would like. That way the school could not say that they don't have the authority to make that decision.

Do not allow them to send your son to a psycho ed school. This is not the place for a child with asperger.

Sorry there is so much for you to do. You are amazing that you have moved, putting yourself thru school AND have a spec. needs child. With all of that you want to fight for your child.

Let me know if you have any trouble with the advocate and I'll see what I can do from here. (I can ask people if they know anyone in your area)

You may also email me off list.

( ) After a summer of my son being in the hospital...

My son went into a general behavioral hospital on May 2nd in OKC,which is 3 hours from where I live because this state is soooo poorlyequipped for any mental illness... By May 21st, he was transferred toan Autism Specific hospital that has been great, except with a limitedincome, I haven't been able to go see him except once or twice amonth... This hospital has its ups and downs in my book, butbeing in a place where the closest mental facility is 3 hours away, Ican't really be choosy, can I? The one thing that bothered me is that his therapist there mentionedto me that I should hold my son out of Kindergarten if the school isill equipped to deal with him, rather than push any changes for theschool to be able to handle him, because small town Oklahoma schoolsrarely agree to make the changes, and when they do, they make aminimal attempt just to assuage the parents desire to have their childtaught... I have had one other person who I would have thought wouldbe on the child's side in this matter tell me that if I don't get theanswers I like from the school then perhaps I'd be better off movingto a bigger town (which would be a great big problem considering I goto college here in this town) rather than pursuing any legal action onthe school IF they refuse to comply. "You wouldn't get any money fromthem, its a poor area, the school doesn't have any money" Thisfuriated me.... I wouldn't sue a school for money, I'd sue to insuremy child is getting an education he deserves!! Rewind to LAST year. I moved here from Illinois, where my son was inthe early intervention program although no one there was quite surewhat he might have. They paid for him to go to preschool and havetherapists come in and work with him and all sorts of other things. Iadmit that the reasons behind moving here was that the cost of livinghere in podunk Oklahoma is alot less expensive than living in theChicago area. I need to get some college education for myself so thatI can make the kind of money it takes to raise 4 kids... I wenthappily to the elementary school and explained the situation, and gavethem all of the papers that I received in Chicago on my son, and toldthem that I would probably need an IEP on him. That was in August. He lasted 2 weeks, with daily trips to the principals office, cuz herefused to take a nap, and just kept escalating after that everyday. They asked that we keep him out, because Preschool isn't required inOK and they figured he was just not socially and emotionally ready forschool yet. At this point, we were moving forward assuming that thefamily doctor's diagnosis of Bipolar was correct. a few months later,we were told by a psychologist that she recommended us to look into anAsperger's diagnosis. When we got the diagnosis of Aspergers, we wentto the school and asked for an IEP. The IEP didn't show any problemscognitivly, so we were told that he wasn't eligible for one. Now, its time for school to start here, and Aus will be getting out ofthe hospital on August 3. My biggest concern is that without an IEP the school will continue tocall me out of class to come pick my son up. He is going intoKindergarten this year, and I don't want him to get the idea that aslong as he acts up, he can go home from school. I also don't want tofail another semester of school because I keep getting called out ofclass... I know, that's selfish, but I'm also thinking that if I hada "real" job, I would lose it if everyday I had to go get my kid fromschool, and therefore couldn't stay at work. I know this is a long post, and I'm sorry, but I was wondering ifanyone could give me some advice for getting the IEP so I can get himinto school... I'm going to meet with the school Special educationdirector and the principal on the 6th, and will have all the dischargepapers and stuff... to try to drive the point home. if there'sanything else you can tell me, I would appreciate it. Thanks, Aimee

[Guest guest]

The hospital is actually relatively new. Its for Autism spectrum

kids. My son was actually the 6th kid in the hospital when he first

got there and now he's back to being the highest functioning one.

They built it after parents in Oklahoma started getting sick of

sending their kids to Chicago (ironically, where I just moved from...)

The hospital is called Camelot, and as far as treatment goes, I think

they're great. They have gotten Austen's aggression levels back down

to a couple times a week, and when he shows aggression, they say its

so small they sometimes can't tell at first. He's also making more

eye contact, etc. I'm just concerned about getting this IEP.

We're actually in Tishomingo, just about an hour south of Ada. Small

town that really doesn't aspire to being anything more than a map dot.

I wouldn't have chosen this place, except for the necessity of a lower

cost of living in order to keep the family together, you know...

Financial stresses were really straining mine and my hubby's

relationship up in Chi-town. As for being here, My dad bought a house

and said that we can make payments towards owning it ourselves. It

sounded like a great deal until I started having problems with the

school, now I'm considering leaving as soon as I finish college.

Thanks so much for the info, though, cuz if I can get the school to

understand what he needs and stuff, then it will make the next year or

so that much easier to get through. I went from having a 4.0 to

having a 1.2 GPA over the last year because I was constantly having to

skip my classes and deal with his school, or, in the end, stay home

with my son, which, while it can be really fun, isn't a good thing for

my goals and plans.

>

> Oh Amie! Sorry you are having such trouble. OK. Ask the hosp or

pdoc. to write a short letter stating some of the most critical needs

your son has along with recommended accommodations. The school can

NOT go against a Dr. letter b/c they are not doctors. As for suing

the school, the most you can do is to sue for compliance. There is

really no $$ involved.

> Can you go on line and look for an advocate in your area? What town

are you in? Sounds like Ada, OK. I can ask on some of my other lists

to see if anyone knows of an advocate near you. Georgia has a state

assoc. that provides free advice. Try to google this for OK. Go to

the s Law web site. It might be overwhelming but you can print

our a few things to take to the school to show that you KNOW your

rights. Schools love to tell you they CAN'T do something and they are

so shocked that you are even asking. This is all bluff. Let them

know that you KNOW your rights. Again, if you are able to take an

advocate with you it is better. Also, take a tape recorder. They

will tell you that it is not allowed. Again, tell them that you know

your rights and this is one of them. They are free to get up and go

get one themselves. The recorder will help you after the meeting.

Not only will you have their bluffs on tape but it MIGHT keep them

from making as many as they would. Now I did say MIGHT. This is a

school you are dealing with.

> Can you tell me the name of the hosp? I'm curious for personal

reasons. I have never heard of a psych hosp that was for asperger.

> If you can't find an advocate, find a friend that you would not mind

hearing all the JUNK about your son that will be discussed and drag

her to the meeting also. You can invite anyone you want. You can

also invite the spec. ed director if you would like. That way the

school could not say that they don't have the authority to make that

decision.

> Do not allow them to send your son to a psycho ed school. This is

not the place for a child with asperger.

> Sorry there is so much for you to do. You are amazing that you have

moved, putting yourself thru school AND have a spec. needs child.

With all of that you want to fight for your child.

> Let me know if you have any trouble with the advocate and I'll see

what I can do from here. (I can ask people if they know anyone in

your area)

> You may also email me off list.

>

>

> ( ) After a summer of my son being in the

hospital...

>

>

> My son went into a general behavioral hospital on May 2nd in OKC,

> which is 3 hours from where I live because this state is soooo poorly

> equipped for any mental illness... By May 21st, he was transferred to

> an Autism Specific hospital that has been great, except with a limited

> income, I haven't been able to go see him except once or twice a

> month... This hospital has its ups and downs in my book, but

> being in a place where the closest mental facility is 3 hours away, I

> can't really be choosy, can I?

>

> The one thing that bothered me is that his therapist there mentioned

> to me that I should hold my son out of Kindergarten if the school is

> ill equipped to deal with him, rather than push any changes for the

> school to be able to handle him, because small town Oklahoma schools

> rarely agree to make the changes, and when they do, they make a

> minimal attempt just to assuage the parents desire to have their child

> taught... I have had one other person who I would have thought would

> be on the child's side in this matter tell me that if I don't get the

> answers I like from the school then perhaps I'd be better off moving

> to a bigger town (which would be a great big problem considering I go

> to college here in this town) rather than pursuing any legal action on

> the school IF they refuse to comply. " You wouldn't get any money from

> them, its a poor area, the school doesn't have any money " This

> furiated me.... I wouldn't sue a school for money, I'd sue to insure

> my child is getting an education he deserves!!

>

> Rewind to LAST year. I moved here from Illinois, where my son was in

> the early intervention program although no one there was quite sure

> what he might have. They paid for him to go to preschool and have

> therapists come in and work with him and all sorts of other things. I

> admit that the reasons behind moving here was that the cost of living

> here in podunk Oklahoma is alot less expensive than living in the

> Chicago area. I need to get some college education for myself so that

> I can make the kind of money it takes to raise 4 kids... I went

> happily to the elementary school and explained the situation, and gave

> them all of the papers that I received in Chicago on my son, and told

> them that I would probably need an IEP on him. That was in August.

> He lasted 2 weeks, with daily trips to the principals office, cuz he

> refused to take a nap, and just kept escalating after that everyday.

> They asked that we keep him out, because Preschool isn't required in

> OK and they figured he was just not socially and emotionally ready for

> school yet. At this point, we were moving forward assuming that the

> family doctor's diagnosis of Bipolar was correct. a few months later,

> we were told by a psychologist that she recommended us to look into an

> Asperger's diagnosis. When we got the diagnosis of Aspergers, we went

> to the school and asked for an IEP. The IEP didn't show any problems

> cognitivly, so we were told that he wasn't eligible for one.

>

> Now, its time for school to start here, and Aus will be getting out of

> the hospital on August 3.

>

> My biggest concern is that without an IEP the school will continue to

> call me out of class to come pick my son up. He is going into

> Kindergarten this year, and I don't want him to get the idea that as

> long as he acts up, he can go home from school. I also don't want to

> fail another semester of school because I keep getting called out of

> class... I know, that's selfish, but I'm also thinking that if I had

> a " real " job, I would lose it if everyday I had to go get my kid from

> school, and therefore couldn't stay at work.

>

> I know this is a long post, and I'm sorry, but I was wondering if

> anyone could give me some advice for getting the IEP so I can get him

> into school... I'm going to meet with the school Special education

> director and the principal on the 6th, and will have all the discharge

> papers and stuff... to try to drive the point home. if there's

> anything else you can tell me, I would appreciate it. Thanks, Aimee

>

[Guest guest]

During one of my research missions on the web, I came across this website regarding the IEP. http://www.kid-power.org/articles/iepplanning.html. Hope it helps. katie

Building a website is a piece of cake. Small Business gives you all the tools to get online.

[Guest guest]

I'm surprised that the therapist recommends you not expect the school to comply with the law. Definitely go to www.wrightslaw.com and you will find a lot of information to help you navigate the school issues.

The school should not call you up to get him when he is having behavior issues. You should request a "functional behavior assessment" be done to find out the problem and what ways it can be solved. You probably have this already from the hospital - situations that make him upset and how to handle him when it happens or how to prevent it. This is information that you need to get in the IEP or a behavior plan.

The school lied to you when they said since he didn't have an academic problem, he can't have an IEP. Remember, whenever the school says something that is not helpful, ask to see it in writing. And write a follow up letter saying, "Mr. X said that...blah blah blah..." to keep records of what is going on and who is telling you what.

I would start by request a full educational evaluation asap. Write this in a letter and send to principal of the school and to the director of special education at your school. Make sure the evaluation is about all areas of concern, which includes social, behavioral, fine motor (OT), sensory motor and pragmatic language (ST).

learn your rights under the law and I would think that your ability to attend school will improve a lot!

As for money, the school may have a tight budget but who doesn't these days. If you file due process against the school, it is going to cost the school a lot of money to bring in their lawyer and of course, would cost you alot of money if you get a lawyer. So it's not even about who wins in the end. It is in their best interest to settle problems with parents and vice versa. Don't let them bully you but always be reasonable.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) After a summer of my son being in the hospital...

My son went into a general behavioral hospital on May 2nd in OKC,which is 3 hours from where I live because this state is soooo poorlyequipped for any mental illness... By May 21st, he was transferred toan Autism Specific hospital that has been great, except with a limitedincome, I haven't been able to go see him except once or twice amonth... This hospital has its ups and downs in my book, butbeing in a place where the closest mental facility is 3 hours away, Ican't really be choosy, can I? The one thing that bothered me is that his therapist there mentionedto me that I should hold my son out of Kindergarten if the school isill equipped to deal with him, rather than push any changes for theschool to be able to handle him, because small town Oklahoma schoolsrarely agree to make the changes, and when they do, they make aminimal attempt just to assuage the parents desire to have their childtaught... I have had one other person who I would have thought wouldbe on the child's side in this matter tell me that if I don't get theanswers I like from the school then perhaps I'd be better off movingto a bigger town (which would be a great big problem considering I goto college here in this town) rather than pursuing any legal action onthe school IF they refuse to comply. "You wouldn't get any money fromthem, its a poor area, the school doesn't have any money" Thisfuriated me.... I wouldn't sue a school for money, I'd sue to insuremy child is getting an education he deserves!! Rewind to LAST year. I moved here from Illinois, where my son was inthe early intervention program although no one there was quite surewhat he might have. They paid for him to go to preschool and havetherapists come in and work with him and all sorts of other things. Iadmit that the reasons behind moving here was that the cost of livinghere in podunk Oklahoma is alot less expensive than living in theChicago area. I need to get some college education for myself so thatI can make the kind of money it takes to raise 4 kids... I wenthappily to the elementary school and explained the situation, and gavethem all of the papers that I received in Chicago on my son, and toldthem that I would probably need an IEP on him. That was in August. He lasted 2 weeks, with daily trips to the principals office, cuz herefused to take a nap, and just kept escalating after that everyday. They asked that we keep him out, because Preschool isn't required inOK and they figured he was just not socially and emotionally ready forschool yet. At this point, we were moving forward assuming that thefamily doctor's diagnosis of Bipolar was correct. a few months later,we were told by a psychologist that she recommended us to look into anAsperger's diagnosis. When we got the diagnosis of Aspergers, we wentto the school and asked for an IEP. The IEP didn't show any problemscognitivly, so we were told that he wasn't eligible for one. Now, its time for school to start here, and Aus will be getting out ofthe hospital on August 3. My biggest concern is that without an IEP the school will continue tocall me out of class to come pick my son up. He is going intoKindergarten this year, and I don't want him to get the idea that aslong as he acts up, he can go home from school. I also don't want tofail another semester of school because I keep getting called out ofclass... I know, that's selfish, but I'm also thinking that if I hada "real" job, I would lose it if everyday I had to go get my kid fromschool, and therefore couldn't stay at work. I know this is a long post, and I'm sorry, but I was wondering ifanyone could give me some advice for getting the IEP so I can get himinto school... I'm going to meet with the school Special educationdirector and the principal on the 6th, and will have all the dischargepapers and stuff... to try to drive the point home. if there'sanything else you can tell me, I would appreciate it. Thanks, Aimee

[Guest guest]

Aimee, I would request a full evaluation through the school department. You can request that in writing to the principal and special education director. The district has 60 days (calendar) to complete those evaluations and hold an eligibility meeting. If your child is eligible for special education services, then the IEP Team will sit down and write the IEP. Strengths/needs, present levels of performance and goals and the services to attain them will be discussed first...placement is the last thing discussed. I would recommend contacting your local parent information training center. They can answer any questions you may have and also provide you with education on your rights (workshops) and perhaps a mentor.

Sharon Bishop, Director Parents Reaching Out in OK (PRO-Oklahoma) 1917 South Harvard Avenue Oklahoma City, OK 73128 (405) 681-9710; (800) PL94-142 (V/TTY) E-mail: prook1@... URL: http://www.ucp.org/probase.htm Get a sneak peek of the all-new AOL.com.