Re: The bullies persist even into adulthood

[Guest guest]

this is a disturbing behaviour coming from an adult. i think you

should report this to the police and his human resources department

at work, even though they may not be able to do anything about it,

you will have something on record. perhaps it could be explained

because you said his co-workers have disabilities and could be

immature.

i feel for your son. are there groups in your town he could join.

does he have any interests that he could persue with social events or

gatherings?

good wishes to you and your son.

warm regards,

melody

>

> Our son received a " greeting " card mailed to him from someone

> pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the

> outside. Message of their " good time " in 1999. All handwritten. It

is

> so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend,

he's

> 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him

that

> someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a

> girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin'

mean!

> He was excited to get mail, especially from a " girl " , and very

angry

> and disturbed and distressed that someone did this.

>

> And, he has no idea who thought this was a " funny " joke. It had to

be

> someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return

> address of course, and just a partial zip.

>

> We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they

are

> trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do.

And

> since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard

for

> him to do.

>

> Sue

>

[Guest guest]

Sue,I am so sorry this happened to your son. It was mean and immature of the person who did it. It makes my heart heavy every time I hear stories about people who prey on those with developmental/neurological issues. As if they didn't have enough to cope with. I would recommend that you save the card somewhere safe, in case the harassment continues. Then you'll have a record and can file a complaint.LizOn Nov 10, 2007, at 12:29 PM, carolynsuelowerychattanooga wrote:Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

[Guest guest]

Sue, that is so sad & downright mean. I know this broke your heart as well. I will keep you both in my prayers. Take care, Betty carolynsuelowerychattanooga <sue@...> wrote: Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the

outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to

do.Sue __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

hi sue

I'm so sorry to read this......as if life was not hard enough for our aspies, someone

has to be mean spirited.....our aspies are gullible

Adam's first girlfriend was from an internet dating sight, he has finished his third yr of university and thought he had found the love of this life that summer, she was 5 yrs older than him , a single mom with a 4 yr old and she was a piece of work.

Adam moved in within a couple oe weeks of meeting her in person, nothing we

said mattered, he supported her and her little girl, lovingly tried to be a good dad, it was all over 6 months later when she found someone better....he was devastated and for at least the last two months of the relationship , Adam had stopped talking to us, walked out of our lives.....it was the worst pain I've ever felt.....he later met his now wife at work and several years , two babies, one an aspie and a lovely home later, he is married and hopefully his heart will not get broken again. Btw, he called us on Christmas Eve that year to re establish our relationship.....best CHristmas present I could ever have had !!!!!

hugs and prayers

brenda

Wags! Wags! Wags!

Lowry

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Author Ben

From: sue@...Date: Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:29:32 +0000Subject: ( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue Are you ready for Windows Live Messenger Beta 8.5 ? Get the latest for free today!

[Guest guest]

Sadly, you don't have to be in the spectrum for people to be jerks! I, personally, have gotten such letters during a custody battle with my 13 year old's biological father for custody of him; he was doing all kinds of weird things; goal: when I told my therapists and psychologist, etc., they would think I was psycho---it back fired, as they knew me BEFORE the custody battle, and they knew him, too; so, it is SAD. Sadly, we cannot protect our kids; hopefully he keeps it quiet; I would sure keep the letter though in case more come, so you can file a police report or whatever.....just sick. I can empathize with you, and feel terrible that happened to him.....

, your story warms the heart, though, after angering it!! What a HAPPY ending to the story.....peace...

Ruthie Dolezal

( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

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[Guest guest]

Hi,

I really don't understand the purpose behind something like that.

But if it makes you feel better, my oldest son (now 22) who is

typical, had friends in school, etc., received a card similar to that

but I think he was either still in high school or maybe sometime

after he graduated. Even then we were just like " and the purpose of

this is...??? " I don't know if he ever found out " who " sent it but I

think one other person he knew received similar. Was handwritten

like you said, hearts/other drawings.... Can't recall the message

now. And later he even had someone who created another My Space page

for him with all kinds of stuff on it, it's still there but with a

note from my son that he did NOT create it (and a few foul words for

whoever did); don't know if it was done as some joke to be funny or

someone who held a grudge for something.

So it may not have been done towards your son in any way due to an

Aspie/don't fit in reason as my son had a typical life so far as

friends, girlfriends.... Although if your son is sensitive as my

Aspie son (now 18) is, it would really have more of a negative effect

on my Aspie son than it did my typical son; Aspie son would take it

more to heart.

>

> Our son received a " greeting " card mailed to him from someone

> pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the

> outside. Message of their " good time " in 1999. All handwritten. It

is

[Guest guest]

If your pretty sure he got this from someone he works with I'd definately contact the HR person at his company.... regardless of whether his coworkers have disabilities or not, it's inappropriate.

-------------- Original message from "carolynsuelowerychattanooga" <sue@...>: --------------

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells

everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

[Guest guest]

Thanks to all for the responses. I will talk to his company and let

them know about it...after looking at the envelope again carefully,

it look like the sender has put the name of our son's one and only

friend, a guy, on the return address space, so it has a homosexual

connotation too! Our son says he really has no idea, I would think

that whoever sent this has also made verbal remarks too.

, thanks for the story. DS was actually engaged to be married

(he asked the girl after, maybe, 3 months of knowing her, impulsive

disorder?) but we just really liked her and thought they were

perfect for each other. However, her mother would have lost her SSI

check if daughter married, and she had a custodianship of daughter.

Threatened daughter with hospitalization in mental health facilty if

daughter didn't break it off. So, with no warning, our DS was

dumped. So hard for anybody to understand and cope with heartbreak

and other people's meanness...epsecially hard for these guys.

>

>

> hi sue

>

> I'm so sorry to read this......as if life was not hard enough for

our aspies, someone

> has to be mean spirited.....our aspies are gullible

>

> Adam's first girlfriend was from an internet dating sight, he has

finished his third yr of university and thought he had found the

love of this life that summer, she was 5 yrs older than him , a

single mom with a 4 yr old and she was a piece of work.

> Adam moved in within a couple oe weeks of meeting her in person,

nothing we

> said mattered, he supported her and her little girl, lovingly

tried to be a good dad, it was all over 6 months later when she

found someone better....he was devastated and for at least the last

two months of the relationship , Adam had stopped talking to us,

walked out of our lives.....it was the worst pain I've ever

felt.....he later met his now wife at work and several years , two

babies, one an aspie and a lovely home later, he is married and

hopefully his heart will not get broken again. Btw, he called us on

Christmas Eve that year to re establish our relationship.....best

CHristmas present I could ever have had !!!!!

>

> hugs and prayers

> brenda

> Wags! Wags! Wags!

>

> Lowry

>

> " There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your

face. "

> Author Ben

>

>

> @...: sue@...: Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:29:32

+0000Subject: ( ) The bullies persist even into

adulthood

>

>

>

>

> Our son received a " greeting " card mailed to him from someone

pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the

outside. Message of their " good time " in 1999. All handwritten. It

is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend,

he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him

that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be

a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin'

mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a " girl " , and very

angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he

has no idea who thought this was a " funny " joke. It had to be

someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return

address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore

it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise

out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells

everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

>

>

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Are you ready for Windows Live Messenger Beta 8.5 ? Get the latest

for free today!

> http://entertainment.sympatico.msn.ca/WindowsLiveMessenger

>

[Guest guest]

oh sue

how awful,selfish and meanspirited of that mother, and i use the term loosely in this case.....so sorry for both of those precious ones

love and hugs

brenda

Wags! Wags! Wags!

Lowry

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Author Ben

From: sue@...Date: Sun, 11 Nov 2007 17:32:05 +0000Subject: Re: ( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Thanks to all for the responses. I will talk to his company and let them know about it...after looking at the envelope again carefully, it look like the sender has put the name of our son's one and only friend, a guy, on the return address space, so it has a homosexual connotation too! Our son says he really has no idea, I would think that whoever sent this has also made verbal remarks too. , thanks for the story. DS was actually engaged to be married (he asked the girl after, maybe, 3 months of knowing her, impulsive disorder?) but we just really liked her and thought they were perfect for each other. However, her mother would have lost her SSI check if daughter married, and she had a custodianship of daughter. Threatened daughter with hospitalization in mental health facilty if daughter didn't break it off. So, with no warning, our DS was dumped. So hard for anybody to understand and cope with heartbreak and other people's meanness...epsecially hard for these guys.>> > hi sue> > I'm so sorry to read this......as if life was not hard enough for our aspies, someone > has to be mean spirited.....our aspies are gullible> > Adam's first girlfriend was from an internet dating sight, he has finished his third yr of university and thought he had found the love of this life that summer, she was 5 yrs older than him , a single mom with a 4 yr old and she was a piece of work.> Adam moved in within a couple oe weeks of meeting her in person, nothing we> said mattered, he supported her and her little girl, lovingly tried to be a good dad, it was all over 6 months later when she found someone better....he was devastated and for at least the last two months of the relationship , Adam had stopped talking to us, walked out of our lives.....it was the worst pain I've ever felt.....he later met his now wife at work and several years , two babies, one an aspie and a lovely home later, he is married and hopefully his heart will not get broken again. Btw, he called us on Christmas Eve that year to re establish our relationship.....best CHristmas present I could ever have had !!!!!> > hugs and prayers> brenda> Wags! Wags! Wags!> > Lowry> > "There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."> Author Ben > > > @...: sue@...: Sat, 10 Nov 2007 17:29:32 +0000Subject: ( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood> > > > > Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue > > > > > > > __________________________________________________________> Are you ready for Windows Live Messenger Beta 8.5 ? Get the latest for free today!> http://entertainment.sympatico.msn.ca/WindowsLiveMessenger> Send a smile, make someone laugh, have some fun! Start now!

[Guest guest]

that is so sick and so sad...My heart is breaking

( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

[Guest guest]

Yes, or find another job! I wouldn't want to go to work there every day - that would make me anxious and crazy all day, wondering what they would do next!

Deb

In a message dated 11/12/2007 7:05:06 A.M. Eastern Standard Time, madideas@... writes:

If they are trying, they succeeded! That is really mean. I would talk to his supervisor and/or case manager and let them know what happened. You have to document the harrassment because if it continues and/or escalates, you will need documentation to prove what is going on. In addition, he shouldn't have to spend his day at work with people who are targeting him. I would worry about what they think to do next. They count on people being quiet and not telling so that they can keep playing their "games." I wouldn't be quiet!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

Debbie SalernoMaine Coon RescueBoard MemberDNA ManagerEastern Regional DirectorVice Presidentwww.mainecoonrescue.netSee what's new at AOL.com and Make AOL Your Homepage.

[Guest guest]

If they are trying, they succeeded! That is really mean. I would talk to his supervisor and/or case manager and let them know what happened. You have to document the harrassment because if it continues and/or escalates, you will need documentation to prove what is going on. In addition, he shouldn't have to spend his day at work with people who are targeting him. I would worry about what they think to do next. They count on people being quiet and not telling so that they can keep playing their "games." I wouldn't be quiet!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

[Guest guest]

I'm glad he called!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

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[Guest guest]

oh Roxanna , thanks sweetie...so were we because we had no idea how to contact

him ....our hearts were broken and then that called restored everything...he has never

done that again ...don't think wayne and I could have dealt with him walking out on us again. His wife is lovely and we all get along really well.

love and hugs

brenda

Wags! Wags! Wags!

Lowry

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

Author Ben

From: madideas@...Date: Mon, 12 Nov 2007 07:05:08 -0500Subject: Re: ( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

I'm glad he called!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) The bullies persist even into adulthood

Our son received a "greeting" card mailed to him from someone pretending to be long lost girlfriend. Hearts drawn all over the outside. Message of their "good time" in 1999. All handwritten. It is so sad because he so desperately would like to have a girlfriend, he's 23, or friends. And he is so gullible, this really unnerved him that someone would BUY this card, find his address and pretend to be a girl, he just doesn't understand. How can adults be so freakin' mean! He was excited to get mail, especially from a "girl", and very angry and disturbed and distressed that someone did this. And, he has no idea who thought this was a "funny" joke. It had to be someone he works with, all also people with disabilities. No return address of course, and just a partial zip.We advised him to ignore it, not mention it at work, because they are trying to get a rise out of him, but I don't know what else to do. And since he tells everybody EVERYTHING, that is going to be so hard for him to do.Sue

Are you ready for Windows Live Messenger Beta 8.5 ? Get the latest for free today!

Are you ready for Windows Live Messenger Beta 8.5 ? Get the latest for free today!