asperger's syndrome

[Guest guest]

I'm hoping i'm heading in the right direction. My 7 1/2 yr old son was

diagnoised with ADHD/ODD, when he was 3 at that time I thought it was

Aspergers. now the more that I read about it the more convinced it is.

would like someone to talk to about his symtoms and how to get my 10yr

old son to realize that i'm not playing favorites with him help .

thanks Brand

[Guest guest]

,

Feel free to post here whenever you like - ask questions anytime.

As for the sibling thing, I try to say "each according to his needs" mantra whenever one of the kids complains. So if I hear, "You always let him get away with..." then I say, "This is harder for him to learn. He needs...." and I will also agree with them that this isn't fair and it sucks. Yep - it does for everyone and also for the kid with autism. But that is life.

I also think something when siblings say that, they really are saying, "Pay attention to me and make me feel special too!"

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) asperger's syndrome

I'm hoping i'm heading in the right direction. My 7 1/2 yr old son was diagnoised with ADHD/ODD, when he was 3 at that time I thought it was Aspergers. now the more that I read about it the more convinced it is. would like someone to talk to about his symtoms and how to get my 10yr old son to realize that i'm not playing favorites with him help . thanks Brand

[Guest guest]

Roxanna,

This is an issue I am dealing with on a daily basis and I could really use some advice.

My 4 year old, Owen, was diagnosed with very mild AS earlier this year. His brother Jake, who will be 2 next month, adores him. Owen tolerates Jake some of the time, and can be very loving and caring some of the time. The rest of the time he grabs Jake's toys and throws them out of his reach. He screams when Jake touches something of his, asks when Jakey is going to bed, and demands our full attention.

Even worse is the babytalk. Now that Jake is talking it's very difficult for us - he talks like a baby (obviously) and when he says something we understand we give him praise. Owen hears that and mimics it, saying " sayin " for train or " mama showa " for Mommy's in the shower. It's so, so frustrating -- he thinks it's cute and laughs and smiles, waiting for the same praise, but we end up putting him in time out or encouraging him to teach his brother to talk like a big boy like him. Until recently he only did this for me (lucky me) but this past weekend he talked the babytalk incessently, and has been doing it all week in school. For some reason things seem to be deteriorating this week.

I am literally pulling out my hair. Any suggestions? How do you juggle a very active 2 year old and a mildly autistic 4-year-old without going insane? Part of me feels like the bulk of this is typical sibling crap -- my friend's kids are the same age and her oldest now is trying to wear diapers and will no longer climb stairs -- but the other, more anxious part of me worries that all of this is made worse by my son's diagnosis.

As you can tell, I need some advice. Any thoughts?

On 11/9/07, Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote:

,

Feel free to post here whenever you like - ask questions anytime.

As for the sibling thing, I try to say " each according to his needs " mantra whenever one of the kids complains. So if I hear, " You always let him get away with... " then I say, " This is harder for him to learn. He needs.... " and I will also agree with them that this isn't fair and it sucks. Yep - it does for everyone and also for the kid with autism. But that is life.

I also think something when siblings say that, they really are saying, " Pay attention to me and make me feel special too! "

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) asperger's syndrome

I'm hoping i'm heading in the right direction. My 7 1/2 yr old son was diagnoised with ADHD/ODD, when he was 3 at that time I thought it was Aspergers. now the more that I read about it the more convinced it is. would like someone to talk to about his symtoms and how to get my 10yr old son to realize that i'm not playing favorites with him help . thanks Brand

[Guest guest]

On Jul 8, 6:01pm, " Heidi Guarino " wrote:

}

} Even worse is the babytalk. Now that Jake is talking it's very difficult fo=

} r

} us - he talks like a baby (obviously) and when he says something we

} understand we give him praise. Owen hears that and mimics it, saying " sayin=

} "

} for train or " mama showa " for Mommy's in the shower. It's so, so frustratin=

} g

} -- he thinks it's cute and laughs and smiles, waiting for the same praise,

} but we end up putting him in time out or encouraging him to teach his

} brother to talk like a big boy like him. Until recently he only did this fo=

} r

} me (lucky me) but this past weekend he talked the babytalk incessently, and

} has been doing it all week in school. For some reason things seem to be

} deteriorating this week.

I think it's important to remember that he was really trying to do

" the right thing " with this behavior, and is probably very confused

by being punished for something his little brother was praised for.

I see this sort of confusion in Bam a lot, they just don't understand

why something that works in one situation no longer works in another,

or works once and then stops working. Maybe that confusion is why

he's acting out now. Maybe he's also missing being the baby a little

bit.

Have you tried asking him to repeat himself " like a big boy " and giving

him a lot of praise for that?

Willa

[Guest guest]

We have, but that doesnt' seem to help. Sometimes it does, but other times he just tunes it out and continues in his own world.

On 11/9/07, Willa Hunt <willaful@...> wrote:

On Jul 8, 6:01pm, " Heidi Guarino " wrote:} } Even worse is the babytalk. Now that Jake is talking it's very difficult fo=} r} us - he talks like a baby (obviously) and when he says something we

} understand we give him praise. Owen hears that and mimics it, saying " sayin=} " } for train or " mama showa " for Mommy's in the shower. It's so, so frustratin=} g

} -- he thinks it's cute and laughs and smiles, waiting for the same praise,} but we end up putting him in time out or encouraging him to teach his} brother to talk like a big boy like him. Until recently he only did this fo=

} r} me (lucky me) but this past weekend he talked the babytalk incessently, and} has been doing it all week in school. For some reason things seem to be} deteriorating this week.

I think it's important to remember that he was really trying to do " the right thing " with this behavior, and is probably very confusedby being punished for something his little brother was praised for.

I see this sort of confusion in Bam a lot, they just don't understandwhy something that works in one situation no longer works in another,or works once and then stops working. Maybe that confusion is why

he's acting out now. Maybe he's also missing being the baby a littlebit. Have you tried asking him to repeat himself " like a big boy " and givinghim a lot of praise for that?Willa

[Guest guest]

I don't know. This sounds like typical jealous sibling stuff rather than Asperger's stuff. When I taught, I used to see this type of behavior all the time when a baby started to become "interesting." (ie starts to crawl and walk, getting into the older sibling's toys, talking, etc.) I would just reward him like mad when he uses appropriate language, and ignore the rest. If he asks you for something using baby talk, of course you don't hear it.LizOn Nov 9, 2007, at 9:09 AM, Heidi Guarino wrote:Roxanna, This is an issue I am dealing with on a daily basis and I could really use some advice. My 4 year old, Owen, was diagnosed with very mild AS earlier this year. His brother Jake, who will be 2 next month, adores him. Owen tolerates Jake some of the time, and can be very loving and caring some of the time. The rest of the time he grabs Jake's toys and throws them out of his reach. He screams when Jake touches something of his, asks when Jakey is going to bed, and demands our full attention. Even worse is the babytalk. Now that Jake is talking it's very difficult for us - he talks like a baby (obviously) and when he says something we understand we give him praise. Owen hears that and mimics it, saying "sayin" for train or "mama showa" for Mommy's in the shower. It's so, so frustrating -- he thinks it's cute and laughs and smiles, waiting for the same praise, but we end up putting him in time out or encouraging him to teach his brother to talk like a big boy like him. Until recently he only did this for me (lucky me) but this past weekend he talked the babytalk incessently, and has been doing it all week in school. For some reason things seem to be deteriorating this week. I am literally pulling out my hair. Any suggestions? How do you juggle a very active 2 year old and a mildly autistic 4-year-old without going insane? Part of me feels like the bulk of this is typical sibling crap -- my friend's kids are the same age and her oldest now is trying to wear diapers and will no longer climb stairs -- but the other, more anxious part of me worries that all of this is made worse by my son's diagnosis. As you can tell, I need some advice. Any thoughts?  On 11/9/07, Roxanna <madideaszoominternet (DOT) net> wrote:,Feel free to post here whenever you like - ask questions anytime. As for the sibling thing, I try to say "each according to his needs" mantra whenever one of the kids complains.  So if I hear, "You always let him get away with..." then I say, "This is harder for him to learn.  He needs...." and I will also agree with them that this isn't fair and it sucks.  Yep - it does for everyone and also for the kid with autism.  But that is life.  I also think something when siblings say that, they really are saying, "Pay attention to me and make me feel special too!"  RoxannaAutism Happens ( ) asperger's syndrome I'm hoping i'm heading in the right direction. My 7 1/2 yr old son was diagnoised with ADHD/ODD, when he was 3 at that time I thought it was Aspergers. now the more that I read about it the more convinced it is. would like someone to talk to about his symtoms and how to get my 10yr old son to realize that i'm not playing favorites with him help . thanks Brand

[Guest guest]

I think it's a sibling/attention issue too! It will probably pass in time. But I would probably act confused whenever he uses baby talk and try to get him to repeat it correctly. Or even respond incorrectly - if he asks for juice, give him an apple and then when he protests, say, "I can't understand what you want, can you say it clearly?" Then praise him to the stars whenever he actually speaks like a big boy. If he refuses, then I would just act disappointed and say, "Well, someday soon you will be able to talk like a big boy." I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Most kids who want attention will take negative attention if that's what they can get. So if you punish him, he's getting attention (even though it's negative attention) and will probably keep at it. I would also walk away if he can't be understood and won't try. As long as you know he can talk, then maybe he will if you don't stand around to argue about it but just walk off and tell him you will be glad to help him when he can talk to you like a big boy.

As for how you keep your sanity? Ha! Your asking the already insane. lol. I can tell you that it gets better as they get older. So hang on to that thought. I think the worst years for us were 1 to 5. At 6, both the boys (hfa) started calming down and talking and it was not so difficult to work with them. But we still have days. Tonight, my two youngest spent every minute arguing and fighting and making my head hurt. It can really be hard and they are 7 yo and 11 yo now! Just do your best to find them other activities whenever they start arguing. You can find ways for Owen to play where he can't be disturbed by Jake - let him put his train together on a table, for instance, and remind him he is allowed because he is a big boy now. If Jake is taking a nap, give Owen some quality mom time and read stories or play a game with him. Try to find little ways of showing him that being the big brother is worth his time. Sounds like he doesn't think so yet!

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) asperger's syndrome

I'm hoping i'm heading in the right direction. My 7 1/2 yr old son was diagnoised with ADHD/ODD, when he was 3 at that time I thought it was Aspergers. now the more that I read about it the more convinced it is. would like someone to talk to about his symtoms and how to get my 10yr old son to realize that i'm not playing favorites with him help . thanks Brand