Re: Ruthie

[Guest guest]

Ruthie, thanks for responding. I got upset today because (I'm on a tight budget) we get all the way home when he tells me he left his backpack at the boys & girls club. its a 1/2 hr ride one way and no way for him to get it unless I drive him. So, back I went. I was complaining to him about waiting till we got all the way home, when he told me. I know he was just as upset as I was. So now I feel bad for complaining to him. he didn't do it deliberately. Now after reading your post, your situation is more important than mine. its just my sons personal stuff. for you, he is dependent on his diabetic bag. but for both our kids its hard for them to remember. Ruthie, I was more upset about this tight budget and gas price than my son forgetting his school bag. also traveling 30 minutes each way to get it. I'm thinking of attaching a note

on the back of the passenger seat (facing my son) with a list of things he has to have. I guess I will have to let coaches & boyscout leaders etc..know that he won't remember to pass a message on to me. Nor will he remember a hiking trip or upcoming events. If I teach him to write them down, he will forget the paper. As I see I'm not the only one with this problem, and I bet your not either. So, there got to be a way to teach them to remember things when we're not there to help remind them. I still feel bad for complaining to him. thanks for responding RoseRUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123@...> wrote: I know this was addressed to Roxanna, and I KNOW SHE WILL RESPOND, but, first, it is so nice to know we are totally not alone in this one, Rose. Secondly, I do not know about your son, but my 13 year old gets soooooo mad at himself for forgetting. While it may not be right, this is what WE DO, and it works for us, because we have not found anything else, but this is it: He's diabetic: so, when he rode the bus, first question was 'where is your diabetic bag' (if not there, then we could run and get it before it's locked up for the night). Picked up at school (before homeschooling), where is your diabetic bag (and about 50 percent of the time, he would have to go

back and get it! If we won't be home, we leave a list, and if he does not PROVE the items requested on the list, they call us, so we can deal with it immediately. If someone else picks him up, I give them a note and they make sure (and usually report that if they did not have it to make sure he had everything before they left, he would have left some of his things there) so that is what we have learned to do. If we take him to tutoring or something, we ask, and every single time we eat out, go somewhere, etc. we ASK and make sure we have the diabetic bag before we leave (it is worth over $1000---with all his stuff in it---has a glucagon, snacks, 100 test strips at most times, a meter for glucose, meter for ketones, and it is a just a priority)....he often goes back for it, if we don't make sure WE HAVE IT before we leave. Then, he does this with EVERYTHING ELSE TOO!!! HE

HATES HIMSELF. We just remember for him. We fear the future for him, but we do know he has diagnosed processing and memory problems, as well as dysnomia and dyslexia, which are contributing and ligitimate reasons for the memory things; he hates it as much as we do. We just have to take care of him all the time Rose, like he is a little boy still; he would be lost without us (and, we are so used to it, we would miss it too, I am sure). RUTHIE ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has

everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him

to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any

advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Have you tried setting the alarm on his watch for one minute after

school is out? There are a lot of " reminder " ideas on some of the

ADD websites. Different types of PDAs that talk to you, or recorded

message. Of course, in the case of my son, he had to first remember

to WEAR the watch. LOL

Sue

> I know this was addressed to Roxanna, and I KNOW SHE

WILL RESPOND, but, first, it is so nice to know we are totally not

alone in this one, Rose. Secondly, I do not know about your son,

but my 13 year old gets soooooo mad at himself for forgetting.

While it may not be right, this is what WE DO, and it works for us,

because we have not found anything else, but this is it:

>

> He's diabetic: so, when he rode the bus, first question

was 'where is your diabetic bag' (if not there, then we could run

and get it before it's locked up for the night). Picked up at

school (before homeschooling), where is your diabetic bag (and about

50 percent of the time, he would have to go back and get it!

>

> If we won't be home, we leave a list, and if he does not PROVE

the items requested on the list, they call us, so we can deal with

it immediately. If someone else picks him up, I give them a note

and they make sure (and usually report that if they did not have it

to make sure he had everything before they left, he would have left

some of his things there) so that is what we have learned to do. If

we take him to tutoring or something, we ask, and every single time

we eat out, go somewhere, etc. we ASK and make sure we have the

diabetic bag before we leave (it is worth over $1000---with all his

stuff in it---has a glucagon, snacks, 100 test strips at most times,

a meter for glucose, meter for ketones, and it is a just a

priority)....he often goes back for it, if we don't make sure WE

HAVE IT before we leave.

>

> Then, he does this with EVERYTHING ELSE TOO!!! HE HATES

HIMSELF. We just remember for him. We fear the future for him, but

we do know he has diagnosed processing and memory problems, as well

as dysnomia and dyslexia, which are contributing and ligitimate

reasons for the memory things; he hates it as much as we do. We

just have to take care of him all the time Rose, like he is a little

boy still; he would be lost without us (and, we are so used to it,

we would miss it too, I am sure).

>

> RUTHIE

> ( ) Roxanna

>

>

> Hello Roxanna,

> I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the

> laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do

for

> mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to

> remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to

take

> home from school.

> I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders

too.

> and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the

> door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.

> after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with

him

> in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a

> reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will

check

> his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has

everything.

> All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than

I " ever

> can " to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a

> while, but who wouldn't.

> His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to

punish

> him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into

a

> habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't

> work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with

> all these prompts & reminders.

> Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its

> like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his

> belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his

> schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note

or

> sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me

if

> a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember

> anything.

> My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his

> personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give

him

> laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be.

Nor

> would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside

the

> home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight

> budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even

> winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I

help

> him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of

> winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club,

> and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the

> next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went

back.

> and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all

> they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things

are

> going to get harder. What should we do?

> thanks for any advice.

> Rose

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol)....

Ruthie

Re: ( ) Ruthie

Ruthie,

thanks for responding. I got upset today because (I'm on a tight budget) we get all the way home when he tells me he left his backpack at the boys & girls club. its a 1/2 hr ride one way and no way for him to get it unless I drive him. So, back I went. I was complaining to him about waiting till we got all the way home, when he told me. I know he was just as upset as I was. So now I feel bad for complaining to him. he didn't do it deliberately. Now after reading your post, your situation is more important than mine. its just my sons personal stuff. for you, he is dependent on his diabetic bag. but for both our kids its hard for them to remember. Ruthie, I was more upset about this tight budget and gas price than my son forgetting his school bag. also traveling 30 minutes each way to get it. I'm thinking of attaching a note on the back of the passenger seat (facing my son) with a list of things he has to have. I guess I will have to let coaches & boyscout leaders etc..know that he won't remember to pass a message on to me. Nor will he remember a hiking trip or upcoming events. If I teach him to write them down, he will forget the paper.

As I see I'm not the only one with this problem, and I bet your not either. So, there got to be a way to teach them to remember things when we're not there to help remind them.

I still feel bad for complaining to him.

thanks for responding

RoseRUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote:

I know this was addressed to Roxanna, and I KNOW SHE WILL RESPOND, but, first, it is so nice to know we are totally not alone in this one, Rose. Secondly, I do not know about your son, but my 13 year old gets soooooo mad at himself for forgetting. While it may not be right, this is what WE DO, and it works for us, because we have not found anything else, but this is it:

He's diabetic: so, when he rode the bus, first question was 'where is your diabetic bag' (if not there, then we could run and get it before it's locked up for the night). Picked up at school (before homeschooling), where is your diabetic bag (and about 50 percent of the time, he would have to go back and get it!

If we won't be home, we leave a list, and if he does not PROVE the items requested on the list, they call us, so we can deal with it immediately. If someone else picks him up, I give them a note and they make sure (and usually report that if they did not have it to make sure he had everything before they left, he would have left some of his things there) so that is what we have learned to do. If we take him to tutoring or something, we ask, and every single time we eat out, go somewhere, etc. we ASK and make sure we have the diabetic bag before we leave (it is worth over $1000---with all his stuff in it---has a glucagon, snacks, 100 test strips at most times, a meter for glucose, meter for ketones, and it is a just a priority)....he often goes back for it, if we don't make sure WE HAVE IT before we leave.

Then, he does this with EVERYTHING ELSE TOO!!! HE HATES HIMSELF. We just remember for him. We fear the future for him, but we do know he has diagnosed processing and memory problems, as well as dysnomia and dyslexia, which are contributing and ligitimate reasons for the memory things; he hates it as much as we do. We just have to take care of him all the time Rose, like he is a little boy still; he would be lost without us (and, we are so used to it, we would miss it too, I am sure)

[Guest guest]

Hi Carolyn, your last sentence was exactly what I was going to say. he never remembers to wear his watch. and when at after school events, when he has to take it off, swimming, gym, sports etc... he won't remember where he put it, or remember to even get it. That is something he would tell me 3 days later that he left his watch...someday, I will try this again. thanks Rosecarolynsuelowerychattanooga <sue@...> wrote: Have you tried setting the alarm on his watch for

one minute after school is out? There are a lot of "reminder" ideas on some of the ADD websites. Different types of PDAs that talk to you, or recorded message. Of course, in the case of my son, he had to first remember to WEAR the watch. LOLSue> I know this was addressed to Roxanna, and I KNOW SHE WILL RESPOND, but, first, it is so nice to know we are totally not alone in this one, Rose. Secondly, I do not know about your son, but my 13 year old gets soooooo mad at himself for forgetting. While it may not be right, this is what WE DO, and it works for us, because we have not found anything else, but this is it:> > He's diabetic: so, when he rode the bus, first question was 'where is your diabetic bag' (if not there, then we could run and get it before it's locked up for the night). Picked up at school (before homeschooling), where is your diabetic bag (and about 50 percent of the time, he would have to go back and get it! > > If we won't be home, we leave a list, and if he does not PROVE the items requested on the list, they call us, so we can deal with

it immediately. If someone else picks him up, I give them a note and they make sure (and usually report that if they did not have it to make sure he had everything before they left, he would have left some of his things there) so that is what we have learned to do. If we take him to tutoring or something, we ask, and every single time we eat out, go somewhere, etc. we ASK and make sure we have the diabetic bag before we leave (it is worth over $1000---with all his stuff in it---has a glucagon, snacks, 100 test strips at most times, a meter for glucose, meter for ketones, and it is a just a priority)....he often goes back for it, if we don't make sure WE HAVE IT before we leave.> > Then, he does this with EVERYTHING ELSE TOO!!! HE HATES HIMSELF. We just remember for him. We fear the future for him, but we do know he has diagnosed processing and memory problems, as well as dysnomia and dyslexia, which

are contributing and ligitimate reasons for the memory things; he hates it as much as we do. We just have to take care of him all the time Rose, like he is a little boy still; he would be lost without us (and, we are so used to it, we would miss it too, I am sure).> > RUTHIE> ( ) Roxanna> > > Hello Roxanna,> I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the > laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for > mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to > remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take > home from school. > I have the other cards

attached to his sports pack for reminders too. > and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the > door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.> after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him > in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a > reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check > his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.> All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever > can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a > while, but who wouldn't.> His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish > him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a > habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't > work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He

is doing much better with > all these prompts & reminders.> Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its > like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his > belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his > schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or > sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if > a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember > anything. > My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his > personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him > laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor > would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the > home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight > budget and when he leaves his

cleats or warm hat & gloves or even > winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help > him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of > winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, > and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the > next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. > and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all > they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are > going to get harder. What should we do?> thanks for any advice.> Rose> > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________>

[Guest guest]

Ruthie, You didn't make me feel bad at all!!! And the money thing. same here. My son thought for a long time that, that's all I needed was this plastic card that I stick in the ATM machine and out comes money. I didn't know he had no concept on how that works, until he wanted something and I said to him, I don't have that kind of money. He said, lets go to that machine (ATM) and get some. after talking to him and explaining about the ATM machine. He never know I had to have money in my account for me to get it out...Same thing with my e-z pass. He thought as long as I had a plastic card - I'll always have money, and as long as I had an e-z pass, I don't have to pay money at any toll booths. even though I explained this to him the best I can, I still don't think he gets it. Its not a visual thing for him. LOL, I don't know how your still up after a long days work for you.

day care/home schooling, and I'm guessing you don't have a maid. just guessing. so you must of cooked dinner, dishes etc... and still up. I'm getting ready to get some sleep. thanks again hugs RoseRUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123@...> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make

him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does

not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for

him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game

was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm

sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

when my sister was in the lower grades there were more days when she left stuff at school and someone (usually either me or my mom) had to go get it. i got to know the janitors very well...its carried on to her being in college. she loses stuff all the time, and doesnt "get" it. shes never been diagnosed but shes got all the characteristics and i see so much of her behavior in my son (even though they are not biologically related) just like i see so much of me and my personality in him too. guess we were meant to be a family!!RUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123@...> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it

is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to

see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't

remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he

didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

my sister thought i was an atm machine when she was younger!!! just a funny note aside, the little velcro thing that you stick the ezpass to on the windshield won't come off on my husband's truck so our son asked what it was the other day (we don't have ez pass here, and the pass itself was returned a few years ago)so i was trying to explain it, and watching both him and my husband doze offRose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: Ruthie, You didn't make me feel bad at all!!! And

the money thing. same here. My son thought for a long time that, that's all I needed was this plastic card that I stick in the ATM machine and out comes money. I didn't know he had no concept on how that works, until he wanted something and I said to him, I don't have that kind of money. He said, lets go to that machine (ATM) and get some. after talking to him and explaining about the ATM machine. He never know I had to have money in my account for me to get it out...Same thing with my e-z pass. He thought as long as I had a plastic card - I'll always have money, and as long as I had an e-z pass, I don't have to pay money at any toll booths. even though I explained this to him the best I can, I still don't think he gets it. Its not a visual thing for him. LOL, I don't know how your still up after a long days work for you. day care/home schooling, and I'm guessing you don't have a maid.

just guessing. so you must of cooked dinner, dishes etc... and still up. I'm getting ready to get some sleep. thanks again hugs RoseRUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did

take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the

blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home

with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he

needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive.

I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

When your sister forgets things at college. Is she aware she forgot it? or is she aware only when she needs it? maybe a few days/weeks later? My son doesn't notice until he needs it. If it's something he doesn't need, we will never know its missing.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70@...> wrote: when my sister was in the lower grades there were more days when she left stuff at school and someone (usually either me or my mom) had to go get it. i got to know the janitors very

well...its carried on to her being in college. she loses stuff all the time, and doesnt "get" it. shes never been diagnosed but shes got all the characteristics and i see so much of her behavior in my son (even though they are not biologically related) just like i see so much of me and my personality in him too. guess we were meant to be a family!!RUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a

full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get

ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie

( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He

still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated

cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

ROFL, Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70@...> wrote: my sister thought i was an atm machine when she was younger!!! just a funny note aside, the little velcro thing that you stick the ezpass to on the windshield won't come off on my husband's truck so our son asked what it was the other day (we don't have ez pass here, and the pass itself was returned a few years ago)so i was trying to explain it, and watching both him and my husband doze offRose

<beachbodytan2002 > wrote: Ruthie, You didn't make me feel bad at all!!! And the money thing. same here. My son thought for a long time that, that's all I needed was this plastic card that I stick in the ATM machine and out comes money. I didn't know he had no concept on how that works, until he wanted something and I said to him, I don't have that kind of money. He said, lets go to that machine (ATM) and get some. after talking to him and explaining about the ATM machine. He never know I had to have money in my account for me to get it out...Same thing with my e-z pass. He thought as long as I had a plastic card - I'll always have money, and as long as I had an e-z pass, I don't have to pay money at any toll booths. even though I explained this to him the best I can,

I still don't think he gets it. Its not a visual thing for him. LOL, I don't know how your still up after a long days work for you. day care/home schooling, and I'm guessing you don't have a maid. just guessing. so you must of cooked dinner, dishes etc... and still up. I'm getting ready to get some sleep. thanks again hugs RoseRUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get

me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of

homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for

him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game

was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm

sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

she'll get to class and realize she forgot her books or homework or whatever. she'll get to rugby practice and realize she forgot her cleats...and she'll forget to do laundry sometimes...Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: When your sister forgets things at college. Is she aware she forgot it? or is she aware only when she needs it? maybe a few days/weeks later? My son doesn't notice until he needs it. If it's something he doesn't need, we will never know its

missing.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70 > wrote: when my sister was in the lower grades there were more days when she left stuff at school and someone (usually either me or my mom) had to go get it. i got to know the janitors very well...its carried on to her being in college. she loses stuff all the time, and doesnt "get" it. shes never been diagnosed but shes got all the characteristics and i see so much of her behavior in my son (even though they are not biologically related) just like i see so much of me and my personality in him too. guess we were meant to be a family!!RUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but

since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed

items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will

forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of

course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

That is so interesting for me. How is she with this? is she concerned, does it interfere with her every day needs? or is she OK with this? when she needs laundry- -she'll do it. when she's hungry, she'll shop. What happens when she's in class and doesn't have her books? What did she do when she got to rugby and forgot her cleats? (did she stay and watch, work out in her socks, borrow someone's)?. My son calls me and I will bring them to him. someone told me these kids learn to compensate as they get older. I'm hoping to help my son as much as I can now so he doesn't have to compensate later. Does your sister live at the dorm, home, herself? Sorry for all the questions, but just one more. Do you notice any other concerns, like life skills, is she social, makes good choices? or is it only organization concerns? My kids know the Janitors by name

too. the classroom doors are locked, and they have to open it for him to get his stuff.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70@...> wrote: she'll get to class and realize she forgot her books or homework or whatever. she'll get to rugby practice and realize she forgot her cleats...and she'll forget to do laundry sometimes...Rose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: When your sister forgets things at

college. Is she aware she forgot it? or is she aware only when she needs it? maybe a few days/weeks later? My son doesn't notice until he needs it. If it's something he doesn't need, we will never know its missing.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70 > wrote: when my sister was in the lower grades there were more days when she left stuff at school and someone (usually either me or my mom) had to go get it. i got to know the janitors very well...its carried on to her being in college. she loses stuff all the time, and doesnt "get" it. shes never been diagnosed but shes got all the characteristics and i see so much of her behavior in my son (even though they are not biologically related) just like i see so much of me and my personality in him too. guess we were meant to be a

family!!RUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is

lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the

rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments,

etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better

with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help

him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

she'll go back and get the cleats. she's learned the hard way about lecture notes, etc. its been a huge learning curve for her because she's so used to someone (either my mom or me) rescuing her and since she's been away at school she's had to do it for herself. she lives in a dorm, and shes been doing ok with her roommate-another new experience. since we're so far apart in age, its like she's an only child and she's never had to share things with someone else. she's also learning to manage her time a little better but its been a struggle to get assignments done. i am trying to force her to be independent and not rely on us to remind her when stuff is due or when she has an exam, but its so hard! she was very lucky growing up she had a few close friends that she is still close to, but the social skills are a little limited. i am beginning to think that it wasnt that we were both painfully shy growing up, but AS. she actually forces herself to take a shower

every day and do basic hygiene, but as a kid it was a nightmare. she hated showers, baths and esp brushing her teeth. her room was always a disaster (hate to see what the dorm looks like) none of us are particularly social people-including our grandmother who helped raise us (mom's been widowed 2x) my mother, me and my sis...just always thought we were quirky! by the way...she's also a math whiz and doing a double major in accounting and economics. carrying on the family tradition!Rose <beachbodytan2002@...> wrote: That is so interesting for me. How is she with this? is she concerned, does it interfere with her every day needs? or is she OK with this? when she needs laundry- -she'll do it. when she's hungry, she'll shop. What happens when she's in class and doesn't have her books? What did she do when she got to rugby and forgot her cleats? (did she stay and watch, work out in her socks, borrow someone's)?. My son calls me and I will bring them to him. someone told me these kids learn to compensate as they get older. I'm hoping to help my son as much as I can now so he doesn't have to compensate later. Does your sister live at the dorm, home, herself? Sorry for all the questions, but just one more. Do you notice any other concerns, like life skills, is she social, makes good choices? or is it only organization concerns? My kids know

the Janitors by name too. the classroom doors are locked, and they have to open it for him to get his stuff.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70 > wrote: she'll get to class and realize she forgot her books or homework or whatever. she'll get to rugby practice and realize she forgot her cleats...and she'll forget to do laundry sometimes...Rose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: When your sister forgets things at college. Is she aware she forgot it? or is she aware only when she needs it? maybe a few days/weeks later? My son doesn't notice until he needs it. If it's something he doesn't need, we will never know its

missing.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70 > wrote: when my sister was in the lower grades there were more days when she left stuff at school and someone (usually either me or my mom) had to go get it. i got to know the janitors very well...its carried on to her being in college. she loses stuff all the time, and doesnt "get" it. shes never been diagnosed but shes got all the characteristics and i see so much of her behavior in my son (even though they are not biologically related) just like i see so much of me and my personality in him too. guess we were meant to be a family!!RUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important, Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but

since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed

items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school & home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will

forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of

course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

thanks for sharing this with me. As young as my son is, I'm trying to not have him so dependent on me. But its very hard for us too. Where we live we have no transportation. totally dependent on a car. If my son was to forget something, I either have to make him do without (not sure if that's the best thing to do) or drive it to him. (not sure if that's the best thing to do either) My problem is, I feel bad if he has to do without, with the things he has and forgets. I do try to make him independent in other ways, but its limited for us where we live. He doesn't know safety, so there is a concern with that. So, I don't know what he is capable of doing or if he'll make that right choice, because he is limited. he sometimes makes bad choices. If I tell him not to swim in the lake by himself because it dangerous, he'll swim in the pond. saying "I said lake" now its clear, he's

not to go into any water at all, not even a puddle. one of his obsessions is water. My main concerns with him are: organization - remembering his items, - at events, remember to give me the message. responsibilities - making better choices, remembering not to talk to strangers, coming home on time, etc... life skills, social skills. we will work on other needs as soon as he can do these. Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70@...> wrote: she'll go back and get the cleats. she's learned the hard way about lecture notes, etc. its been a huge learning curve for her because she's so used to someone (either my mom or me) rescuing her and since she's been away at school she's had to do it for herself. she lives in a dorm, and shes been doing ok with her roommate-another new experience. since we're so far apart in age, its like she's an only child and she's never had to share things with someone else. she's also

learning to manage her time a little better but its been a struggle to get assignments done. i am trying to force her to be independent and not rely on us to remind her when stuff is due or when she has an exam, but its so hard! she was very lucky growing up she had a few close friends that she is still close to, but the social skills are a little limited. i am beginning to think that it wasnt that we were both painfully shy growing up, but AS. she actually forces herself to take a shower every day and do basic hygiene, but as a kid it was a nightmare. she hated showers, baths and esp brushing her teeth. her room was always a disaster (hate to see what the dorm looks like) none of us are particularly social people-including our grandmother who helped raise us (mom's been widowed 2x) my mother, me and my sis...just always thought we were quirky! by the way...she's also a math whiz and doing a double major in accounting and

economics. carrying on the family tradition!Rose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: That is so interesting for me. How is she with this? is she concerned, does it interfere with her every day needs? or is she OK with this? when she needs laundry- -she'll do it. when she's hungry, she'll shop. What happens when she's in class and doesn't have her books? What did she do when she got to rugby and forgot her cleats? (did she stay and watch, work out in her socks, borrow someone's)?. My son calls me and I will bring them to him. someone told me these kids learn to compensate as they get older. I'm hoping to help my son as much as I can now so he doesn't have to compensate later. Does your sister live at the dorm, home, herself? Sorry for all

the questions, but just one more. Do you notice any other concerns, like life skills, is she social, makes good choices? or is it only organization concerns? My kids know the Janitors by name too. the classroom doors are locked, and they have to open it for him to get his stuff.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70 > wrote: she'll get to class and realize she forgot her books or homework or whatever. she'll get to rugby practice and realize she forgot her cleats...and she'll forget to do laundry sometimes...Rose <beachbodytan2002 > wrote: When your sister forgets things at college. Is she aware she forgot it? or is she aware only when she needs it?

maybe a few days/weeks later? My son doesn't notice until he needs it. If it's something he doesn't need, we will never know its missing.Dee DiMemmo <craftychick70 > wrote: when my sister was in the lower grades there were more days when she left stuff at school and someone (usually either me or my mom) had to go get it. i got to know the janitors very well...its carried on to her being in college. she loses stuff all the time, and doesnt "get" it. shes never been diagnosed but shes got all the characteristics and i see so much of her behavior in my son (even though they are not biologically related) just like i see so much of me and my personality in him too. guess we were meant to be a family!!RUTHIE BRYAN DOLEZAL <DOLEZAL123msn> wrote: Sorry, Rose, I didn't mean to make you feel badly, but a new solution of asking him if he has the stuff before you leave the building (and then make him show it---our son gives 'pat answers' and rarely did what you asked)---he just got home from basketball practice and we made him shower (don't get me started----he did not need one, just got done sweating for a full two hour practice and can do it in the morning----blah blah blah-----) and my husband as about the towel, the shower curtain, dirty clothes, and YES, he did take care of them; NO HE HADN'T---so we make him PROVE IT!!!! Half the time he does not remember he did not do it (and he really thinks he did---you can tell when he is lying or not----he thinks he did it). It is weird! And, the diabetic bag is no more important,

Rose; we have extra stuff at home for most of it but it is wasteful, and we are not rich either!!! It stinks no matter what it is, and it is everything, but since we care the most about the diabetic bag, we have a 'value in it, too!!!' It is OUR MONEY in that thing he does not care about (or seems like he does not).....In fact, we are struggling more than some other times (financially) again right now, especially with start up with no preparation or planning of homeschooling, but OUR SON DOES NOT CARE ABOUT MONEY or get ANYTHING out of that conversation, as money grows on a tree, and everything is 'oooonnnnllleeeeeee' "fifty bucks", "a hundred bucks",.......you fill in the blank; wonder if he will get it when he has to work and earn that money?!! (doesn't sound like it from others on here.....but maybe we will be the exception to the rule????)....until then, we are his memory, and thank GOD I HAVE A GOOD ONE. (I

think.....lol).... Ruthie ( ) Roxanna Hello Roxanna,I wrote you before about our organization concerns. I have the laminated cards at home with items my 10 yr. AS son needs to do for mornings. I have a bunch of cards attached to his schoolbag to remind him of the books, homework assignments, etc... needed to take home from school. I have the other cards attached to his sports pack

for reminders too. and a list on the front door that he has to see when he opens the door reminding him to take his bags and other needed items.after writing many letters to his team/teachers that works with him in school. they finally agreed its a Hugh concern and made a reminder list for him in school as well and an adult that will check his list and school bag to see if its completed & he has everything.All this is working for my son and he is trying harder than I "ever can" to make this work. He still might forget one thing once in a while, but who wouldn't.His social skills teacher (not from school) told me never to punish him for forgetting his items because he needs to learn to get into a habit of (organization) after he has a strategy. Punishment won't work, but a strategy will. (I agree) He is doing much better with all these prompts & reminders.Here is my problem. When my son is away from 'school

& home' its like starting from the beginning. He doesn't remember any of his belongings. If at the boys & girls club, he will forget his schoolbag, when at soccer or other sports, and he is handed a note or sticker (reward) he will forget to bring it home, or even tell me if a game was canceled or the location was changed. He can't remember anything. My question is: What do I do for him to help him remember his personal belongings when away from home or school? I can't give him laminated cards because I don't know what the changes would be. Nor would I know if he received a letter to bring to me. so, outside the home or school is very hard. and it gets expensive. I'm on a tight budget and when he leaves his cleats or warm hat & gloves or even winter boots. I'm having a hard time replacing them. How can I help him remember???? Last year, I bought him a really good pair of winter boots. He wore it to

school, went to the boys & girls club, and I didn't know he didn't bring his winter boots home until the next day for school. Of course they weren't there when I went back. and you know how hard it is to get winter boots once they sell all they winter items. Next year is middle school and I'm sure things are going to get harder. What should we do?thanks for any advice.Rose __________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Thank you.....that made my day; well, I am just trying to help, and do have some personal experience that helps me to see both sides, I guess....but thank you sooo much....I am touched...Ruthie

( ) Ruthie

Ruthie,

You are a very wise woman, and I agree with what you think Jon's grandmother should do. I wanted to tell her something like you did, but you put it in better words. The grief the mother is causing her is not worth it, it will make her sick.

Never miss a thing. Make your homepage.