Re: bad feelings about autistic child in church

[Guest guest]

I think it is something that does come from the top - a tone of acceptance and making accommodations along the way for those with special needs. I know the guy was big and disruptive but he's autistic. The kids on this list that we talk about have AS or HFA. Most of them can be taught how to behave appropriately for a one hour service. But for someone with severe autism who has behaviors, makes noises or flaps - of course people who don't understand will be scared by what they do not know. But these little kids with more severe autism grow up and become big kids - adults who are autistic and have the same behaviors and limited abilities to cope. I would hate to think of belonging to a church that tried harder to get rid of the "problem" (i.e. the person) rather than trying harder to find ways to include him. It is so sad that they have waited this long before starting the process of finding ways to include this young man - both the parents and the church administrators. Someone had to realize a while back that this little guy with autism would grow up someday. They could have provided inservicing about autism to the congregation and pastors, they could set up aide services for all disabled people so that someone would be watching him and helping him at all times he was at the church, a room to go to for when he needs to quiet down equipped with speakers so nobody has to miss the service, working with him on problem areas such as how to leave the service so he doesn't mow anyone down along the way. Things can be taught or accommodations made (let him leave 5 minutes early, for instance) that could have contained the problem. Autism is the problem, not the young man. And I don't think leaving it all up to the parents to "make him behave" would suffice either. It should have been a congregational project.

Do I think people deserve a quiet place to worship? No. There is no right to that. These people were all given a challenge - the challenge of autism, surprise! - and they had to work to achieve it and they did nothing to do that. They just threw the problem out. How simple was that? I think it was just so badly handled. And that goes back to the top - the attitude from the pastors in charge filters down through the whole congregation. It's just like when they stick our kids in a regular classroom without the appropriate supports, then watch while it doesn't work. Well, duh! I just think things could have been worked on a lot better than just staring and throwing him out. You know this because there are churches out there and pastors out there and congregations out there who make it work.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) Re: bad feelings about autistic child in church

Absolutely, as you say, it is how you worship, not necessarily where.That said, it still brings me smiles to think of a Pastor that we know: He, himself, has 4 children (now grown) but when we all lived in the same small community, all of our children were young. Without surprise, his congregation continued to grow in number of young families because everyone was welcome. There was daycare available for the youngest and those with differing needs so that everyone could benefit by the teachings without imposing too much stress on others. There were times when many of the children would run freely down the isle and the Pastor, nor parish ever complained. It really was a place of acceptance. That is why it was so loved. I think there is a place for everyone to fit in, but it is a unique situation. I've never found quite the same with the exception of one Church that I attend only on occasion because it is so far. I can still see my little girl (severe needs) grasping the Pastor in a tight hug... he performed her service for us when she passed although he had moved far away. I can't say enough for this very special man.> >> > I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is > autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church > on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there > are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be > disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I > should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine > or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he > has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I > feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted > no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's > word. Any comments would be appreciated.> > Lori> >>>

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[Guest guest]

Well Said! : )

>

> >> > I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew

who

> is > autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to

her

> church > on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently

> learned there > are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that

> church. He can be > disruptive and hard to keep him entertained.

I

> guess I wonder what I > should do. Should I pull him out of that

> church and take him to mine > or I really wonder if that church

is so

> nieve that they can tell he > has a mental disability and they

should

> have a little tolerence. I > feel like church is the one place

where

> everyone should be accepted > no matter what and everyone should

have

> the chance to learn God's > word. Any comments would be

appreciated.>

> > Lori> >>

> >

>

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> Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.24.1/1469 - Release Date:

5/27/2008 1:25 PM

>