Re: bad feelings about autistic child in church

May 27, 2008

Lori,I'd have to agree with you regarding church being accepting, but I do wonder if the people at their grandmother's church realize he'd disabled. A lot of people figure if you look "normal" then there is nothing wrong with you, and that he's just "acting out". Perhaps the grandmother could explain to the congregation that your nephew is autistic, and that she'd like to keep bringing him to church with her, but that at times he may be a little disruptive. Usually, when put to someone in that way, people are more tolerant than when they think a child is purposely disrupting things.Also, does her church have a separate class for children during the main part of the service? If not, I can understand why he'd get antsy...that's a long time to sit still for any kid, let alone someone ASD. I'm fortunate in that the church I attend is very tolerant of my two ASD boys, as the children's ministry co-ordinator is a 5th grade teacher for ASD kids. The boys stay in the sanctuary for the praise and worship portion of the morning (which they love...after every song asks for "more songs!". Then they go into their classrooms for the duration of the sermon. Every teacher that works with them has been briefed on the fact that they are autistic and how to cope with them, and I've had nothing but praise for how well the teachers do with them. Mina SmolinskiMommy to: 9/25/02 - NT 5/13/04 - HFA suspectedOwen 7/1/05 - HFA suspectedLila 3/3/07 - NT as far as we can tell On May 27, 2008, at 10:55 AM, lori jennings wrote:I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any comments would be appreciated.Lori

May 27, 2008

Ironically, I just read an article on a similar topic:

http://autism.about.com/b/2008/05/21/your-opinion-requested-how-

should-churches-accomodate-autism.htm

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by

Gans, MD

Your Opinion Requested: How Should Churches Accommodate Autism?

Pelaez Inc./Getty ImagesHow far should churches go to

accommodate people with autism? The question has become the focus of

debate this week as the result of a story published in the The

Minneapolis-St. Star Tribune The Church of St. ph in Bertha,

Minn., filed a temporary restraining order barring Carol and

Race from bringing their 225-pound son, Adam, to church. An affidavit

alleges Adam struck a child during mass, fought efforts to restrain

him, pulled an adolescent girl to his lap and revved the engine of

someone else's car. A parish statement said the legal move was a last

resort after church leaders tried to accommodate and mediate, but the

family refused.

Carol Race says that her son isn't angry and violent and that his

actions and her family's efforts to calm him are misunderstood by a

community that doesn't understand autism. She said the family's

requests for accommodation haven't been fulfilled. She ignored the

court order and took her son to church on Mother's Day, receiving a

citation days later.

Of course, it's hard to know who said what to whom in this particular

situation - or to what degree each side worked to accommodate the

other. But in general, this is a tough situation - and not one, in my

opinion, to be answered without reflection.

No one wants to go on record as excluding people with disabilities

from a house of worship. But when that person with disabilities

cannot engage in the experience, consistently disrupts that

experience for an entire congregation, and may even threaten the

safety of congregants - how far should the congregation go to

accommodate that person's behaviors? And how far should the family go

to accommodate the congregation at large?

Some possibilities jump to mind - perhaps the church could provide a

space where the autistic person could retreat when necessary. Perhaps

the family could sit toward the back of the sanctuary, and take their

son out when he becomes disruptive. Perhaps a volunteer could spend

time with the boy during services so that the parents could take

part. Perhaps the church tried some of these techniques - and perhaps

they didn't.

But it seems to me that the question remains: whose rights come first

in a house of worship? How far should a congregation go to make a

person with autism welcome? What's your opinion?

About Poll

How Should a Place of Worship Accomodate a Person with Autism?

Congregations should accept everyone. Period.

Congregations should accept everyone who isn't demonstrably

dangerous.

Congregations should accept everyone who isn't disruptive of

services.

Congregations should have accomodations in place for everyone, no

matter what their needs.

Congregations should make decisions based on their own needs on a

case by case basis.

>

> I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is

autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church

on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there

are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be

disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I

should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine

or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he

has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I

feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted

no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's

word. Any comments would be appreciated.

> Lori

>

May 27, 2008

P.S. This, so far, has been the result of that poll (I myself, of am

the belief that " Congregations should have accomodations in place for

everyone, no matter what their needs. "

How Should a Place of Worship Accomodate a Person with Autism?

Congregations should accept everyone. Period.

(49) 17%

Congregations should accept everyone who isn't demonstrably dangerous.

(44) 15%

Congregations should accept everyone who isn't disruptive of services.

(23) 7%

Congregations should have accomodations in place for everyone, no

matter what their needs.

(115) 39%

Congregations should make decisions based on their own needs on a

case by case basis.

(57) 19%

Total Votes: 288

> >

> > I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who

is

> autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her

church

> on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned

there

> are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be

> disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what

I

> should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to

mine

> or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he

> has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I

> feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted

> no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's

> word. Any comments would be appreciated.

> > Lori

> >

>

May 27, 2008

We quit going to church for now; it is NOT worth the battle and 'hell' for us either! That is NOT what GOD wants us to do; I want to listen to the sermon, participate, and be active; with my special needs sons (two AS), we are NOT able to do that at this time. Example, it would be like taking a crying baby to the movies; does not work, so don't do it. CHURCH is a building; GOD DOES NOT CARE if we are there, what we wear, if we come or not, he just cares that we BELIEVE and live for him. Remember the song, the church is not a building, the church is not a steeple, and church is not a resting place, the church is the PEOPLE.....I am the church, you are the church, we are the church together, all whom follow Jesus, all around the world, we are the church together. DEFINE WHAT A CHURCH IS: MAKE YOUR 'NEW' DEFINITION OF 'CHURCH' BE 'COMMUNITY.' This is the same thing I do to homeschool one of my two special needs sons: school does not have to look like the building / my classrooms growing up / etc. it is what is appropriate for my child and now. HAVE the courage to do the right thing for the child and your building (of church perhaps), and quit going to the building; that is NOT working for your child right now, so why do that to him and others???

We are a COMMUNITY of faith; our CHURCH right now is our COMMUNITY, not the building. We live in Iowa, about 55 miles southeast of sburg, where six people lost lives in a horrible tornado over the weekend. We will take our money and donate it, we have gathered clothing, toys, things we don't need and WE WILL BE GIVING all our storage items to them in the next 1-2 months; they lost everything. THIS is our current 'project' and mission; this is WHAT GOD wants us to do; live as a community of faith. My children, special needs or NOT, can and do love to help with this, and it is appropriate. They don't have to hush, sit still, etc. They are, however, learning. There are many 'faithful' stories coming from sburg already; we point them each out to our children, and tell them it was OBVIOUS GOD was with all of them; church destroyed, steeple still standing; only thing you can see now when you enter town (per the pastor via our pastor's websited e-mail to us today)............homes gone nothing but a couple alive in the basement left! Tax returns in full tact 50 miles away, picked up by townspeople that will be returned to the rightful owners..........coat from two homes down, hung perfectly on a hook like it was hung at the neighbors to start with.........THESE are the faith and building of CHURCH we are utilizing hard in our lives now..............yes, churches will help sburg; we still have a home church, but we are NOT active members; we ARE CHRISTIANS and COMMUNITY members--------we WILL do GODLY deeds, just not in the building at this time.

WE DO GO TO SOME FUNDRAISING DINNERS, etc. at churches but that is not QUIET!!!! We can talk and we can eat!!!

My children DO well at school, but not church; have NOT since nearly 9 months of age. Why stress self and others out over it? Look at it this way, if you paid $10 to go to a movie, and kid behind you cried, kicked, whined, etc. the whole time, are you happy? Did you enjoy the money (I mean MOVIE) you spent to see this movie you were wanting to see? I contend the answer is NO, and if you cannot tolerate that, how can we expect others to tolerate our children doing things that are sometimes rude, not nice, and disruptive.

do not get me wrong, I accept special needs people in our church and it is fine to make some noise, drool, and I have NO PROBLEM with seeing this; adult group homes come to our church, I know it, and I am great about that; my children are NOT like that---they are not making noise to talk, or say something, they are bothering everyone else. There IS a difference.

So, I have forgiven myself and do not allow ANYONE to guilt trip me in to believing I have to be in church on Sunday. I am pianist, and my favorites are hymns (I still play and sing 'em all the time). My children DO go do vacation Bible School in the summer; they love that. But, we do not go to Sunday church; it is meant to be a family, and if I have to put them in the hush room, leave, etc., that is NOT worshipping GOD anyway, so we pray, live a CHRISTIAN LIFE, believe, preach RELIGION and the BIBLE at home (by no means BIBLE BEATERS but we do teach our children same as we would if at church each Sunday), we just do not go through the 2 plus hours of stress to get ready, usually still can't be on time, then have to leave 'cuz of some issues with them......................church.

GOD WILL FORGIVE YOU.............he understands...............and I say, do not go for now; try it once in a while; when it works, do it; until then, save the child, everyone else, and yourself the stress, and live for GOD (you already are!!!)...................

Ruthie Dolezal

From: lozzy3us@...Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 07:55:23 -0700Subject: ( ) bad feelings about autistic child in church

I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any comments would be appreciated.

Lori

May 27, 2008

I guess that kind of says what my e-mailed response did!! Really, I do not think everyone else should have to miserable and DREAD coming to church because of our special needs child; it does sound like the 225 pound son at mass was disruptive, misunderstood or not, he is NO TODDLER and no one else should ever been scared at church due to his behaviors; that is unacceptable, in my opinion. I would consider churching elsewhere if it were me, and I have two special needs children. I do not want others to have to see my child like that, certainly not when they are older; we do not let our 130 pounds 14 1/2 year old do that in public now, and I don't anticipate we ever would.

Ruthie Dolezal

From: johnvel@...Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 16:18:54 +0000Subject: ( ) Re: bad feelings about autistic child in church

P.S. This, so far, has been the result of that poll (I myself, of am the belief that "Congregations should have accomodations in place for everyone, no matter what their needs."How Should a Place of Worship Accomodate a Person with Autism? Congregations should accept everyone. Period.(49) 17% Congregations should accept everyone who isn't demonstrably dangerous.(44) 15% Congregations should accept everyone who isn't disruptive of services.(23) 7% Congregations should have accomodations in place for everyone, no matter what their needs.(115) 39% Congregations should make decisions based on their own needs on a case by case basis.(57) 19% Total Votes: 288 > >> > I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is > autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church > on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there > are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be > disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I > should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine > or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he > has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I > feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted > no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's > word. Any comments would be appreciated.> > Lori> >>

May 27, 2008

Absolutely, as you say, it is how you worship, not necessarily where.

That said, it still brings me smiles to think of a Pastor that we

know: He, himself, has 4 children (now grown) but when we all lived

in the same small community, all of our children were young. Without

surprise, his congregation continued to grow in number of young

families because everyone was welcome. There was daycare available

for the youngest and those with differing needs so that everyone

could benefit by the teachings without imposing too much stress on

others. There were times when many of the children would run freely

down the isle and the Pastor, nor parish ever complained. It really

was a place of acceptance. That is why it was so loved. I think there

is a place for everyone to fit in, but it is a unique situation. I've

never found quite the same with the exception of one Church that I

attend only on occasion because it is so far. I can still see my

little girl (severe needs) grasping the Pastor in a tight hug... he

performed her service for us when she passed although he had moved

far away. I can't say enough for this very special man.

>

>> > I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who

is > autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her

church > on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently

learned there > are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that

church. He can be > disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I

guess I wonder what I > should do. Should I pull him out of that

church and take him to mine > or I really wonder if that church is so

nieve that they can tell he > has a mental disability and they should

have a little tolerence. I > feel like church is the one place where

everyone should be accepted > no matter what and everyone should have

the chance to learn God's > word. Any comments would be appreciated.>

> Lori> >>

>

May 27, 2008

I agree....I was not allowed to miss a Sunday, so this was hard for me; even my mom still asks at least monthly if we have returned to church yet; I say the same thing, I am still at church, every where I go. God is with us, and we HAVE done 'blah, blah, and blah' this week, this month, etc. I am constantly donating time to help something, advocating for Asperger's / Autism, etc. Those are things that I am NOT getting paid for; volunteering to help the world and children a better place. We have done landscaping, mowing, gardening, etc. for neighbor's in need or elders or whatever the case may be. We do what we can.

Our pastors have TRIED to help with our children; it has not!! So, we TRY about once a quarter to go to church; when it is time to return, we will. Until then......community volunteering, living as GOD intends, is what is working for us.

Ruthie Dolezal

From: johnvel@...Date: Tue, 27 May 2008 19:13:47 +0000Subject: ( ) Re: bad feelings about autistic child in church

Absolutely, as you say, it is how you worship, not necessarily where.That said, it still brings me smiles to think of a Pastor that we know: He, himself, has 4 children (now grown) but when we all lived in the same small community, all of our children were young. Without surprise, his congregation continued to grow in number of young families because everyone was welcome. There was daycare available for the youngest and those with differing needs so that everyone could benefit by the teachings without imposing too much stress on others. There were times when many of the children would run freely down the isle and the Pastor, nor parish ever complained. It really was a place of acceptance. That is why it was so loved. I think there is a place for everyone to fit in, but it is a unique situation. I've never found quite the same with the exception of one Church that I attend only on occasion because it is so far. I can still see my little girl (severe needs) grasping the Pastor in a tight hug... he performed her service for us when she passed although he had moved far away. I can't say enough for this very special man.> >> > I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is > autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church > on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there > are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be > disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I > should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine > or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he > has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I > feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted > no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's > word. Any comments would be appreciated.> > Lori> >>>

May 27, 2008

Local story:

Pam

Religion program focuses on children with autism

Posted Apr. 3, 2008

BY BRIAN J. LOWNEY, Assistant Editor

WARWICK â€” Children with autism are often looked upon as badly behaved and out of control. At Mass, some flail their arms and shout, causing parents to quickly remove them from the church.

Worshippers who donâ€™t understand the childâ€™s medical condition are quick to use labels and sometimes even move to another pew when a family with an autistic child sits nearby.

For many years, parents of these children have sought a religious education program where they could learn about God and Jesus, prepare for the sacraments and become members of a vibrant faith community without the fear of being ostracized for bad behavior or the object of unwanted attention and ridicule.

Deb Langevin, a member of St. the Great Church, and a former parishioner of St. Church, both in Warwick, said she has been searching for several years for a faith formation program that will prepare her 12 year-old son to better understand his Catholic faith and prepare him to receive the sacraments. She added that while other programs exist that provide religious education for special education students, needs a program tailored to accommodate his specific needs and learning style.

â€œI didnâ€™t want him to make his First Communion and not go to church,â€ she said. â€œHeâ€™s loud. Heâ€™s very verbal. I donâ€™t want to disturb other people when they are praying.â€

So Langevin is thrilled that St. â€™s Parish on Fair Street will implement an innovative religious education program in September for children on the autism spectrum that will offer sacramental preparation and help them learn about their Catholic faith. She quickly enrolled in the class and is optimistic that with a lot of support, her son will receive sacraments and become a regular worshipper at Sunday Mass.

â€œI donâ€™t know how long it will take him to make his first Communion, but itâ€™s a start,â€ she said.

Last Thursday, more than 30 parents and catechists from nine parishes throughout the diocese attended an information session at St. â€™s presented by the churchâ€™s pastor, Father Gagne, and Margaret Andreozzi, parish Elementary Faith coordinator.

a Zimmerly, a parent consultant at the Childrenâ€™s Neurodevelopment Center at Hasbro Childrenâ€™s Hospital, Providence, and a parent supporter at the Autism Project of Rhode Island, Cranston, answered questions about autism and shared highlights of her autistic sonâ€™s faith journey. Zimmerly is a parishioner of St. Church, Cranston.

Andreozzi said the nontraditional religious education program will be based on a successful curriculum model developed at St. Church in Winchester, MA in 2000. While the program was designed primarily for students with autism, it has also been used to teach the basic tenets of the Catholic faith to students with other developmental disabilities, including Down syndrome and cerebral palsy.

She added that while the children of parents attending the informational session will be given preference, admission to the new program is open to religious education students from any diocesan parish. Participants will need permission from their pastor to enroll in the program and receive the sacraments at St. â€™s.

â€œI am hoping that by starting a program here at St. â€™s, we will be able to assist you parents as your children learn more about God,â€ Andreozzi said, adding that she was inspired to start the program after hearing presentations at the Diocesan Religious Education Workshops by Zimmerly and a catechist from the Archdiocese of Boston.

The programâ€™s special curriculum is designed to meet the needs of students who cannot function in a traditional classroom setting. Some students with autism may have extreme anxiety that triggers fight or flight reactions, while others may have difficulty with unstructured social interactions or the social use of language that hampers interactions with classmates or participation in classroom discussions. Other students may also have short attention spans, which may hinder their ability to sit and focus, while many people with autism have problems regulating sensory input, and cannot tolerate fluorescent lights, candle smoke and music.

St. â€™s program will have small classes. Parents or caregivers who know the childâ€™s communication system and behaviors will attend with the student.

The 45-minute, bi-weekly sessions are divided into three segments, each held in a different room. The schedule includes time for prayer, a project and snack, and prayerful reflection.

The St. â€™s curriculum is visually based, and employs limited language and more repetition, and is designed for students who cannot participate in a discussion and may have difficulty understanding emotions. Higher functioning students will participate in appropriate classroom discussions.

In the first year of the program, students will learn about God and Jesus, and learn to make the Sign of the Cross.

Zimmerly said in an interview that one of every 150 children in the United States has autism. She added that a child is diagnosed every 20 minutes at the Childrenâ€™s Neurodevelopment Center during the course of a normal clinical day.

â€œAt this time, there is no known cause and no known cure,â€ she emphasized, noting that experts continue to debate whether the condition is a result of genetics or environmental factors.

â€œIt primarily affects boys,â€ Zimmerly added. â€œOne thing that we know about kids with autism is that they are strong visual learners.â€

Father Gagne said that he will periodically celebrate Masses for the students and their families. For those children unable to come to church, he added that a Mass could be celebrated in a family home. He emphasized that no one should ever be excluded from participating in the life of the church

â€œHome is a place that when you go there, they must take you in,â€ he told the assembly, paraphrasing poet Frost. â€œChurch is a place that when we come here, they must take us in.â€

For more information about St. â€™s religious education program for children with autism, call 467-4895.Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch "Cooking with Tyler Florence" on AOL Food.

May 27, 2008

I agree with you that church should be one place where ANYONE should be accepted. Like Jesus accepted everyone. However, the people in the church are not perfect like Jesus and are often unaccepting of people with differences. It's easier to see the disability with a child in a wheelchair or who wears hearing aids than it is for untrained people to pick out disability in a child with Autism or mental illness. I would recommend speaking with the Pastor and educating him on Austim so that he can help educate the staff and the congregation. If they are attending Christian education classes there it is likely that they are run by volunteers who have little if any knowlege of special needs. Give them some tools or see if there are any teens who would be willing to be buddies with them during class to give them the attention they need (they would need to be taught on how to work with your neice and nephew). I can sympathize with your

anguish over this. It was heartbreaking for me when (and this was many many years ago) when I had a church (the church I grew up in) ask me not to bring my stepson (undiagnosed back then with PDD-nos and bipolar) back to Sunday School anymore. lori jennings <lozzy3us@...> wrote: I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my

nephew coming to that church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any comments would be appreciated. Lori

May 27, 2008

Very nice. As the saying goes: With a will, there is a way! Remember,

our children are as perfect as any one else in the eyes of the Lord.

This includes those with developmental disabilities; the soul is no

less than perfect in His eyes.

" And they brought young children to Him, that He should touch them:

and His disciples rebuked those that brought them. But when Jesus saw

it, He was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little

children to come unto Me, and forbid them not: for of such is the

kingdom of God "

(Mark 10:13-14).

>

> Local story:

>

> Pam

>

> Religion program focuses on children with autism

> Posted Apr. 3, 2008

> BY BRIAN J. LOWNEY, Assistant Editor

>

> WARWICK â€ " Children with autism are often looked upon as badly

behaved and out

> of control. At Mass, some flail their arms and shout, causing

parents to

> quickly remove them from the church.

> Worshippers who donâ€™t understand the childâ€™s medical condition

are quick to

> use labels and sometimes even move to another pew when a family

with an

> autistic child sits nearby.

> For many years, parents of these children have sought a religious

education

> program where they could learn about God and Jesus, prepare for the

sacraments

> and become members of a vibrant faith community without the fear

of being

> ostracized for bad behavior or the object of unwanted attention and

ridicule.

> Deb Langevin, a member of St. the Great Church, and a

former

> parishioner of St. Church, both in Warwick, said she has been

searching for

> several years for a faith formation program that will prepare her

12 year-old

> son to better understand his Catholic faith and prepare him

to receive

> the sacraments. She added that while other programs exist that

provide

> religious education for special education students, needs a

program tailored

> to accommodate his specific needs and learning style.

> â€œI didnâ€™t want him to make his First Communion and not go to

church,â€ she

> said. â€œHeâ€™s loud. Heâ€™s very verbal. I donâ€™t want to disturb

other people when

> they are praying.â€

> So Langevin is thrilled that St. â€™s Parish on Fair Street

will implement

> an innovative religious education program in September for

children on the

> autism spectrum that will offer sacramental preparation and help

them learn

> about their Catholic faith. She quickly enrolled in the

class and is

> optimistic that with a lot of support, her son will receive

sacraments and

> become a regular worshipper at Sunday Mass.

> â€œI donâ€™t know how long it will take him to make his first

Communion, but itâ€™

> s a start,â€ she said.

> Last Thursday, more than 30 parents and catechists from nine

parishes

> throughout the diocese attended an information session at St.

â€™s presented by

> the churchâ€™s pastor, Father Gagne, and Margaret Andreozzi,

parish

> Elementary Faith coordinator.

> a Zimmerly, a parent consultant at the Childrenâ€™s

Neurodevelopment

> Center at Hasbro Childrenâ€™s Hospital, Providence, and a parent

supporter at the

> Autism Project of Rhode Island, Cranston, answered questions about

autism and

> shared highlights of her autistic sonâ€™s faith journey. Zimmerly

is a

> parishioner of St. Church, Cranston.

> Andreozzi said the nontraditional religious education program will

be based

> on a successful curriculum model developed at St. Church in

Winchester,

> MA in 2000. While the program was designed primarily for students

with autism,

> it has also been used to teach the basic tenets of the Catholic

faith to

> students with other developmental disabilities, including Down

syndrome and

> cerebral palsy.

> She added that while the children of parents attending the

informational

> session will be given preference, admission to the new program is

open to

> religious education students from any diocesan parish. Participants

will need

> permission from their pastor to enroll in the program and receive

the sacraments

> at St. â€™s.

> â€œI am hoping that by starting a program here at St. â€™s, we

will be able

> to assist you parents as your children learn more about God,â€

Andreozzi

> said, adding that she was inspired to start the program after

hearing

> presentations at the Diocesan Religious Education Workshops by

Zimmerly and a catechist

> from the Archdiocese of Boston.

> The programâ€™s special curriculum is designed to meet the needs of

students

> who cannot function in a traditional classroom setting. Some

students with

> autism may have extreme anxiety that triggers fight or flight

reactions, while

> others may have difficulty with unstructured social interactions or

the social

> use of language that hampers interactions with classmates or

participation in

> classroom discussions. Other students may also have short

attention spans,

> which may hinder their ability to sit and focus, while many people

with autism

> have problems regulating sensory input, and cannot tolerate

fluorescent

> lights, candle smoke and music.

> St. â€™s program will have small classes. Parents or

caregivers who know

> the childâ€™s communication system and behaviors will attend with

the student.

> The 45-minute, bi-weekly sessions are divided into three segments,

each held

> in a different room. The schedule includes time for prayer, a

project and

> snack, and prayerful reflection.

> The St. â€™s curriculum is visually based, and employs limited

language and

> more repetition, and is designed for students who cannot

participate in a

> discussion and may have difficulty understanding emotions. Higher

functioning

> students will participate in appropriate classroom discussions.

> In the first year of the program, students will learn about God and

Jesus,

> and learn to make the Sign of the Cross.

> Zimmerly said in an interview that one of every 150 children in the

United

> States has autism. She added that a child is diagnosed every 20

minutes at the

> Childrenâ€™s Neurodevelopment Center during the course of a normal

clinical

> day.

> â€œAt this time, there is no known cause and no known cure,â€ she

emphasized,

> noting that experts continue to debate whether the condition is a

result of

> genetics or environmental factors.

> â€œIt primarily affects boys,â€ Zimmerly added. â€œOne thing that

we know about

> kids with autism is that they are strong visual learners.â€

> Father Gagne said that he will periodically celebrate Masses for

the students

> and their families. For those children unable to come to church,

he added

> that a Mass could be celebrated in a family home. He emphasized

that no one

> should ever be excluded from participating in the life of the

church

> â€œHome is a place that when you go there, they must take you

in,â€ he told the

> assembly, paraphrasing poet Frost. â€œChurch is a place

that when we

> come here, they must take us in.â€

> For more information about St. â€™s religious education

program for

> children with autism, call 467-4895.

>

> **************Get trade secrets for amazing burgers. Watch " Cooking

with

> Tyler Florence " on AOL Food.

> (http://food.aol.com/tyler-florence?video=4 & ?

NCID=aolfod00030000000002)

>

May 27, 2008

Most people (in general) will just assume that a hard to handle child merely

needs good

old fashioned discipline. Any church the kids go to, esp. in the early years,

needs to be

educated in what Asperger's is and how social norms needs to be reinforced over

and over

in these kids so they will be able to learn appropriate behavior. I would

start out with a

printed hand out from the O.A.S.I.S. site. This will not matter to some

churches, and in

that case I would take my child there.

I recall one Pastor told me to spank my son each time he failed to do as I asked

the first

time I asked and he would learn to obey! This IGNORANT Pastor has two toddler

children

and apparently no life experience. I changed churches. Do not allow your child

to even

attend a church that is not tolerant of them. After all, God made them and God

don't

make junk as they saying goes so allow them to be treated as such by anyone.

They will

have it difficult enough. ; )

Dee ><)))*>

>

> I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic.

Their

paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the

day with

them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my nephew coming to

that

church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder

what I

should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really

wonder if

that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they

should have a

little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be

accepted no

matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any

comments

would be appreciated.

> Lori

>

May 28, 2008

Boy,,,,the results are very disturbing. Sick. No wonder so many don't feel welcome.....disability or not, right? I'm with you, Church should be the 1 place you're accepted......because GOD loves us all....not just the quiet ones. Shame on them. Robin "Normal is just a cycle on a washing machine"tdhssp <johnvel@...> wrote: P.S. This, so far, has been the result of that poll (I myself, of am the belief that "Congregations

should have accomodations in place for everyone, no matter what their needs."How Should a Place of Worship Accomodate a Person with Autism? Congregations should accept everyone. Period.(49) 17% Congregations should accept everyone who isn't demonstrably dangerous.(44) 15% Congregations should accept everyone who isn't disruptive of services.(23) 7% Congregations should have accomodations in place for everyone, no matter what their needs.(115) 39% Congregations should make decisions based on their own needs on a case by case basis.(57) 19% Total Votes: 288 > >> > I have

custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is > autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church > on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there > are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be > disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I > should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine > or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he > has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I > feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted > no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's > word. Any comments would be appreciated.> > Lori> >>

May 28, 2008

I would make efforts to educate this church. They may just be ignorant and if so, giving them information would give them a chance to adjust, tolerate and accept him for who he is.

It's kind of ironic but I saw this the other day --> http://rwjms.umdnj.edu/boggscenter/products/prod_info.htm Click on "New! Autism and Faith: A journey into Community"

It's a guide to autism and religion that looks really good. But I would attempt to educate these folks and give them a chance to learn. If that doesn't work, then definitely find him another church. I agree, everyone should be accepted at church. But some churches are better at this than others, unfortunately.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) bad feelings about autistic child in church

I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any comments would be appreciated.

Lori

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG. Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.24.1/1468 - Release Date: 5/26/2008 3:23 PM

May 28, 2008

LOL, Ruthie. You are living my life! I used to try to go to church and it was always a waste of time. I would end up outside with my toddler, waiting for him to stop screaming because everything about church upset him - the organ, the people looking at him, the echo's. By the time he was able to stand being in church, we'd had the next one with autism and just repeat the same problems. I remember sitting in a group bible study and hearing this loud wailing noise. I knew instantly that our ds was making it in the nusery. lol. I think that was the last time I pushed my luck.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) bad feelings about autistic child in church

I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any comments would be appreciated.

Lori

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG. Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.24.1/1469 - Release Date: 5/27/2008 1:25 PM

May 28, 2008

Thanks for the support; seems like everyone else thinks they should be there, no matter what. But, when I am more stressed out, and my husband is about on the floor (okay, he is such a manly, manly----quiet usually----) due to rage of his own, white, frustrated, etc., that is NOT a time to be continuing taking years off our lives all to be in a building we call church. And, while noises irritate my kids, I have the ones that would keep singing and singing and singing---okay, SCREAMING SINGING----cute for a second but not three minutes later-----still trying to dance as toddler to the music that was now not happening, etc., I would have to leave------------glad someone else 'gets' it.

Ironically, we have lots of church going friends, they understand and support us, and my closest / best friend in n (where we live now) does not go to church and lives like we do, too; they got angry with their parish and just refuse to go now but GOD is everywhere, and he is thanking me for saving everyone else and myself from the stress of the DOLEZAL'S being IN THE 'HOUSE.' I am certain of it!!! My children know GOD is here, heaven, all that stuff; if you tell my 7 year old AS he is not staying home alone (as he wants to already) he will beg to on grounds he is NEVER alone, GOD is staying with me----------LOL I think they get it!!!

Ruthie

From: madideas@...Date: Wed, 28 May 2008 09:21:10 -0400Subject: Re: ( ) bad feelings about autistic child in church

LOL, Ruthie. You are living my life! I used to try to go to church and it was always a waste of time. I would end up outside with my toddler, waiting for him to stop screaming because everything about church upset him - the organ, the people looking at him, the echo's. By the time he was able to stand being in church, we'd had the next one with autism and just repeat the same problems. I remember sitting in a group bible study and hearing this loud wailing noise. I knew instantly that our ds was making it in the nusery. lol. I think that was the last time I pushed my luck.

RoxannaAutism Happens

( ) bad feelings about autistic child in church

I have custody of my 5 yr old neice and my 9 yr old nephew who is autistic. Their paternal grandmother likes to take them to her church on Sundays and spend the day with them. I have recently learned there are bad feelings about my nephew coming to that church. He can be disruptive and hard to keep him entertained. I guess I wonder what I should do. Should I pull him out of that church and take him to mine or I really wonder if that church is so nieve that they can tell he has a mental disability and they should have a little tolerence. I feel like church is the one place where everyone should be accepted no matter what and everyone should have the chance to learn God's word. Any comments would be appreciated.

Lori

No virus found in this incoming message.Checked by AVG. Version: 8.0.100 / Virus Database: 269.24.1/1469 - Release Date: 5/27/2008 1:25 PM

May 28, 2008

Ruthie, I am not negating your faith because you do not attend church

in the physical sense. I do " get it " and as I explained, have also

not attended with few exception in the past couple years because both

the Pastor that we cherish for his tolerance and genuine love of

people despite any differences has moved away. Our family has also

moved on and we have not found as an accepting church community as we

once had within our local environment. It is not about being in a

church " no matter what " but about being accepted no matter what:

Making concessions and educating others, but making the church

available to everyone. Whereby acceptance is the most important

aspect of the church philosophy: Through LOVE.

>

> Thanks for the support; seems like everyone else thinks they should

be there, no matter what. But, when I am more stressed out, and my

husband is about on the floor (okay, he is such a manly, manly----

quiet usually----) due to rage of his own, white, frustrated, etc.,

that is NOT a time to be continuing taking years off our lives all to

be in a building we call church. And, while noises irritate my kids,

I have the ones that would keep singing and singing and singing---

okay, SCREAMING SINGING----cute for a second but not three minutes

later-----still trying to dance as toddler to the music that was now

not happening, etc., I would have to leave------------glad someone

else 'gets' it.

>

> Ironically, we have lots of church going friends, they understand

and support us, and my closest / best friend in n (where we live

now) does not go to church and lives like we do, too; they got angry

with their parish and just refuse to go now but GOD is everywhere,

and he is thanking me for saving everyone else and myself from the

stress of the DOLEZAL'S being IN THE 'HOUSE.' I am certain of it!!!

My children know GOD is here, heaven, all that stuff; if you tell my

7 year old AS he is not staying home alone (as he wants to already)

he will beg to on grounds he is NEVER alone, GOD is staying with me---

-------LOL I think they get it!!!

>

> Ruthie

>

> @...: madideas@...: Wed, 28 May 2008 09:21:10 -

0400Subject: Re: ( ) bad feelings about autistic child

in church

>

> LOL, Ruthie. You are living my life! I used to try to go to

church and it was always a waste of time. I would end up outside

with my toddler, waiting for him to stop screaming because everything

about church upset him - the organ, the people looking at him, the

echo's. By the time he was able to stand being in church, we'd had

the next one with autism and just repeat the same problems. I

remember sitting in a group bible study and hearing this loud wailing

noise. I knew instantly that our ds was making it in the nusery.

lol. I think that was the last time I pushed my luck.

>

> RoxannaAutism Happens

>

> ( ) bad feelings about autistic child in