Re: Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

[Guest guest]

I'd be pissed at the teacher, actually. She should be making sure he is putting what he needs to in his planner. If there is nothing in it,,,,then,,,,,I'd defend him and say there was nothing written.

2 of my kids have planners and everything that's due the next day as well as what's due in the next few days is written in them. They can't leave unless it's signed. This makes them sometimes be the last out the door,,,,but oh well.

1 of the teachers keeps a "calendar" planner on one of the boards as to what should be listed if they haven't done it already.

I think when a kid NEEDS a planner....then SOMEONE should be making sure it's filled out.Expecting him to fill it in all the time simply because he's been given a planner, is like saying that we should all know how to do complex math b/c we all have calculators. Or that we should all be able to swim competitively b/c we have access to a pool.Ridiculous.

Sorry if I'm coming off ticked.......I guess I am. He he

From: jrushen <jrushen@...>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

Thanks for being pissed off Robin...sometimes I wonder if it is my kids being defiant or lazy or what? And, if it isn't written she should make him do it otherwise he can't leave...I don't know...what is going on with him and if we talk about it at home he either lies or says"I know" in a nasty voice.....at times it is so stressful. He has this girlfriend now....so we told him if his planner is not filled out and he isn't doing his homework in school ...then he can't talk to her that night on the phone. I don't think she can be mature as DS is not mature. LOL! She is 14 (left back one year) and he is 13....they wanted to go to the movies but her mom wouldn't let her...that is fine with me....

AT times I feel that DS is too much for his teacher....that she has too much to handle and can't be bothered...i could be wrong...just a gut feeling....I'll see how it goes next week. I told my son if he doesn't improve I am going to get him a TA in school.

Thanks Robin...cause I am pissed too...at the school and my son!

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

Robin – I like your analogies –

too funny!

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of and/or Robin Lemke

Sent: Friday, October 24, 2008

6:01 PM

Subject: Re: ( )

Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

I'd be pissed at the teacher, actually. She

should be making sure he is putting what he needs to in his planner. If

there is nothing in it,,,,then,,,,,I'd defend him and say there was

nothing written.

2 of my kids have planners and everything that's due

the next day as well as what's due in the next few days is written in

them. They can't leave unless it's signed. This makes them

sometimes be the last out the door,,,,but oh well.

1 of the teachers keeps a " calendar "

planner on one of the boards as to what should be listed if they haven't done

it already.

I think when a kid NEEDS a planner....then SOMEONE

should be making sure it's filled out.

Expecting him to fill it in all the time simply because he's been given a

planner, is like saying that we should all know how to do complex math b/c we

all have calculators. Or that we should all be able to swim

competitively b/c we have access to a pool.

Ridiculous.

Sorry if I'm coming off ticked.......I guess I am.

He he

From: jrushen

<jrushen >

Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came

home with the index card in his planner...but not

in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a

fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...

I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home

with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did

write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading

her handwritting and figuring it out....

I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in

this planner....it was basically blank.

And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish

him?

Jan

[Guest guest]

The last time at the doc,,,,,,you were told he was depressed, right? Is how he's acting a part of depression? How about ODD? DOes he seem angry a lot? Has doc ever mentioned that?

WHat does his psych/counselor say about the anger? Man,,,,I'm sorry for you. I am. And I didn't really mean to get you pissed, too...he he....it's just so sad and frustrating. It's hard enough to positively focus and help our kids at home, in the communitiy, etc and worry about their future........when they're at school, well, then they should be holding them accountable, too. Not just by handing them a book to fill out and then, "POOF",,,,they instantly become responsible and accountable.........but by ensuring that he fills it out CORRECTLY!!!!

I'd ask if maybe they need an aid in there at the end of the day............or maybe after each class to take a minute and have her tell him/others to fill out their planner with the work or to write, "nothing".

Ugh.

Take a deep breath....he he..........It's early and I'm already spazzing here.

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

Thank You,,,,,thank you very much........he he.

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

Yeah...the doctor thinks he is depressed and upped his medicine...he has a girlfriend now and is okay with her...but when it comes to doing anything we ask...he is defiant...he said that writing what he did in class in his planner is Stupid...I told him that all I want his to write is his homework and could he do that...

As far as not working in class..he said he did thru #2 and then go stuck...I asked him why he didn't ask for help ...and he said he didn't know...and when I tried to figure it out ..he got angry...he says there doesn't have to be a reason...

I know there is a reason...he either has not figured it our or doesn't want to tell or talk about it....

Any thoughts?

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

Jan – Is the anger something new or

worse? I know you said they are upping his medicine. I know I posted

recently that my 18 year old was having some difficulties at school. He

is 18 and a senior at a private school that is specifically for kids with

Aspergers, ADHD, PDD, dyslexia, etc. He has always had trouble at the

beginning of school just settling in. But, this year was much worse (didn’t

help that we had a hurricane a month into school and they were then out for 2

weeks). Anyway, his dad was having trouble getting him up in the morning

(this was after he volunteered at Meals on Wheels all summer and got himself up

early every day without fail!), he didn’t want to go to school, he

complained everyday that he was being picked on (some of this was true and

school dealt with it), he seemed depressed, was irritable, appeared anxious,

etc. He finally had a major meltdown at school which prompted me to take

him to see his psychiatrist who thought he was depressed and that his meds could

be increasing his anger and irritability. We did a major medication

revision – didn’t change any drugs just decreased dosage on one and

increased his other two. Tyler

is a new person – it is just unbelievable. He is happy, smiling,

pleasant. The irritability is gone, he fidgets less, has displayed no

anger, gets up without a fight, does his homework without problems (frequently

will do on his own without prompting or tells us what he needs to do without us

having to look on Edline), less impulsive, his nonstop talking has improved - basically

he is a very pleasant young man. I like this Tyler and hope he stays around!! But, I

feel bad that it took a major event for us to realize that his meds were most

of the problem. I can only imagine how miserable he must have felt (he is

like many of these kids and doesn’t always know how to express how he is

feeling) as he tells us he feels much better since we adjusted his meds. He

is fitting in better at school and definitely feels better about himself.

So, what I am trying to say is that maybe part of this is a medication

issue. I hope you all figure it out soon and things smooth out.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of rushen janice

Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2008

8:20 AM

Subject: Re: ( )

Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

Yeah...the doctor thinks he is depressed and upped

his medicine...he has a girlfriend now and is okay with her...but when it

comes to doing anything we ask...he is defiant...he said that writing what he

did in class in his planner is Stupid...I told him that all I want his to

write is his homework and could he do that...

As far as not working in class..he said he did thru

#2 and then go stuck...I asked him why he didn't ask for help ...and he said

he didn't know...and when I tried to figure it out ..he got angry...he says

there doesn't have to be a reason...

I know there is a reason...he either has not figured

it our or doesn't want to tell or talk about it....

Any thoughts?

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because

it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen

<jrushen (DOT) com>

Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son

came home with the index card in his planner...but not

in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a

fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...

I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home

with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did

write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading

her handwritting and figuring it out....

I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in

this planner....it was basically blank.

And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i

punish

him?

Jan

[Guest guest]

>

> Any thoughts?

Hi Jan. My 14yo son with AS has some similar problems, and I'll tell

you how we are handling it; and you can see if any of this might work

in your situation.

> he said that writing what he did in class in his planner is

Stupid...I told him that all I want his to write is his homework and

could he do that...

My son says the same thing about his planner when pushed, although I

notice him reading it when he needs to. He says it is stupid

because he can remember everything--trust me, not so! I'm sure his

lack of understanding of this simple concept is because of his

executive dysfunction. Because of this problem, we have it in his 504

Plan that each teacher must initial their box in his planner each day

to signify that he has his assignments both written down and that they

are correct. Also, a parent must initial the appropriate day's column

each night.

Chances are, at least some of the teachers will neglect to follow

this. So, I complained to the assistant principal that is the 504

coordinator. After discussing it with the teachers, he came up with a

plan where my son must check in with one of the assistant principals

or his guidance counselor before leaving school, and if his planner is

not filled out, he is sent back to the respective teacher to fill it

out. This did the trick for my son. Now we can shift the focus from

simply getting the planner filled out to him effectively using it.

> As far as not working in class..he said he did thru #2 and then go

stuck...I asked him why he didn't ask for help ...and he said he

didn't know...and when I tried to figure it out ..he got angry...he

says there doesn't have to be a reason...

> �

> I know there is a reason...he either has not figured it our or

doesn't want to tell or talk about it....

My son also has a hard time figuring out when to ask for help and

understanding when he needs it. We wrote this into his 504 in the

form of requiring teachers to make frequent checks for understanding

and requiring them to provide written instructions/visuals/check

lists, etc. Of course, you aren't there in the classroom to check,

but if your son has something like this written in his IEP or 504 and

he isn't getting things done or is getting bad grades, it gives you a

concrete accommodation to point to and ask what they are doing to

follow it.

If you have problems getting things like this written into his

IEP/504, you might try looking back through your evaluations for

ammunition. It really helped us that both the school evaluators and

our private evaluators agreed on these needs.

For us, the key to working with the school has been making sure the

504 is very specific, backed up by specific evaluations, and always

following up with school administration to make sure it gets followed.

We haven't had much luck just trying to work things out at the

teacher level.

And I have to keep reminding myself that my son has more hurdles to

cross than the typical kid, in certain ways at least, and he's going

to have to do things in his own way in his own time. I keep reminding

myself to look for the little improvements to let me know he is moving

forward rather than focusing on all the things other kids his age are

doing that he is not. I don't know if you have a problem with that,

but I sure do--I can let myself get very discouraged.

Hope this helps!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Ruth – This is so true. It is soooo hard sometimes

not to compare our kiddos to NT kids their age or to where their siblings were

at this age. We do have to celebrate the small steps our kids make.

I have made personal progress and don’t let myself get as discouraged as

I once did. Though, that may be due to the fact that Tyler has made

significant progress over the last year or so. He is a senior this year

and I do have hope that he will be able to go to a community college though he

certainly won’t be ready to live on his home – he wants to go to

college and do something in computers.

From:

[mailto: ] On

Behalf Of r_woman2

Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2008 11:43 AM

Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

And I have to keep reminding myself that my son

has more hurdles to

cross than the typical kid, in certain ways at least, and he's going

to have to do things in his own way in his own time. I keep reminding

myself to look for the little improvements to let me know he is moving

forward rather than focusing on all the things other kids his age are

doing that he is not. I don't know if you have a problem with that,

but I sure do--I can let myself get very discouraged.

..

[Guest guest]

Ruth,

You made some excellent points...

First thinking about this ...it makes no sense...

His teacher checks his planner...and signs it and sends me a note ....she doesn't make him write in the missing areas...she just writes me a note...so now I get so fustrated and mad becuase I don't know if he has hw or not and even though she is to help him pack up...we still don't get everything.

Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he is suppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leaves school...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..he doesn't have much time to go get the assignments...ugh! He already leaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...

But you have given me a lot of ideas....

One thing...is that I don't think his teacher is really doing her job...or what she is suppose to do in his IEP....I think they don't get aspergers....maybe she is disgusted with him...who knows....I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst. Principal claimed it was a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to do something so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide could take a lot of weight off him.

Thank you so much....you opened my eyes....

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Saturday, October 25, 2008, 12:43 PM

>> Any thoughts?Hi Jan. My 14yo son with AS has some similar problems, and I'll tellyou how we are handling it; and you can see if any of this might workin your situation.> he said that writing what he did in class in his planner isStupid...I told him that all I want his to write is his homework andcould he do that...My son says the same thing about his planner when pushed, although Inotice him reading it when he needs to. He says it is stupidbecause he can remember everything-- trust me, not so! I'm sure hislack of understanding of this simple concept is because of hisexecutive dysfunction. Because of this problem, we have it in his 504Plan that each teacher must initial their box in his planner each

dayto signify that he has his assignments both written down and that theyare correct. Also, a parent must initial the appropriate day's columneach night.Chances are, at least some of the teachers will neglect to followthis. So, I complained to the assistant principal that is the 504coordinator. After discussing it with the teachers, he came up with aplan where my son must check in with one of the assistant principalsor his guidance counselor before leaving school, and if his planner isnot filled out, he is sent back to the respective teacher to fill itout. This did the trick for my son. Now we can shift the focus fromsimply getting the planner filled out to him effectively using it.> As far as not working in class..he said he did thru #2 and then gostuck...I asked him why he didn't ask for help ...and he said hedidn't know...and when I tried to figure it out ..he got angry...hesays

there doesn't have to be a reason...> �> I know there is a reason...he either has not figured it our ordoesn't want to tell or talk about it....My son also has a hard time figuring out when to ask for help andunderstanding when he needs it. We wrote this into his 504 in theform of requiring teachers to make frequent checks for understandingand requiring them to provide written instructions/ visuals/checklists, etc. Of course, you aren't there in the classroom to check,but if your son has something like this written in his IEP or 504 andhe isn't getting things done or is getting bad grades, it gives you aconcrete accommodation to point to and ask what they are doing tofollow it. If you have problems getting things like this written into hisIEP/504, you might try looking back through your evaluations forammunition. It really helped us that both the school evaluators andour

private evaluators agreed on these needs.For us, the key to working with the school has been making sure the504 is very specific, backed up by specific evaluations, and alwaysfollowing up with school administration to make sure it gets followed.We haven't had much luck just trying to work things out at theteacher level.And I have to keep reminding myself that my son has more hurdles tocross than the typical kid, in certain ways at least, and he's goingto have to do things in his own way in his own time. I keep remindingmyself to look for the little improvements to let me know he is movingforward rather than focusing on all the things other kids his age aredoing that he is not. I don't know if you have a problem with that,but I sure do--I can let myself get very discouraged.Hope this helps!Ruth

[Guest guest]

....a lot of what you said ...the symptoms are what my son displays...may I ask what he is on??? My son is on Adderall, Prozac 60mg. and his allergy medicine. I wish there was a good child Psychiatrist in this area ....but there isn't.

And, i think a lot of people look at my son as a NT...don't really believe his is AS and he is not dumb...so they think he is fooling them all the time and he is lazy...

Part of this is the depression...and I don't think he has figured a lot of things out...

I am so confused myself and worry so much. My pscyhologist told me I need to get myself a life....focus less on my son.

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

....a lot of what you said ...the symptoms are what my son displays...may I ask what he is on??? My son is on Adderall, Prozac 60mg. and his allergy medicine. I wish there was a good child Psychiatrist in this area ....but there isn't.

And, i think a lot of people look at my son as a NT...don't really believe his is AS and he is not dumb...so they think he is fooling them all the time and he is lazy...

Part of this is the depression...and I don't think he has figured a lot of things out...

I am so confused myself and worry so much. My pscyhologist told me I need to get myself a life....focus less on my son.

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

He takes Abilify, Prozac, and Topomax.

From: [mailto: ] On Behalf Of rushen janice

Sent: Saturday, October 25, 2008

3:25 PM

Subject: RE: ( )

Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

....a lot of what you said ...the symptoms are

what my son displays...may I ask what he is on??? My son is on Adderall,

Prozac 60mg. and his allergy medicine. I wish there was a good child

Psychiatrist in this area ....but there isn't.

And, i think a lot of people look at my son as a

NT...don't really believe his is AS and he is not dumb...so they think he is

fooling them all the time and he is lazy...

Part of this is the depression...and I don't

think he has figured a lot of things out...

I am so confused myself and worry so much. My

pscyhologist told me I need to get myself a life....focus less on my son.

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because

it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>

Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his

planner...but not

in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a

fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...

I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came

home

with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he

did

write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading

her handwritting and figuring it out....

I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing

in

this planner....it was basically blank.

And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i

punish

him?

Jan

[Guest guest]

Thanks! I look the two up...my son was on risperdol but I didn't like the weight gain and it didn't work for him....

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: jrushen <jrushen (DOT) com>Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading her handwritting and figuring it out....I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in this planner....it was basically blank. And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i punish him? Jan

[Guest guest]

Is there anyway your son can have a " buddy " to help him fill in his

planner everyday before he goes home. If you have a hard time

reading the teacher's handwriting maybe another child's might be

easier to read. Just a thought. I'm so sorry that you are having

this issue but I agree that the teacher should be helping out a bit

more.

I taught for several years before having my kids and I always had a

group of kids needing my signature on their planners before leaving

for the day. I did check every one of them before they left and if

they tried to sneak out before having me look at them I would call

mom and dad to let them know. I also had many of the parent's email

addresses so I could email them assignments if needed. I know it

doesn't help if you don't have the books at home (our schools always

have a copy at the public library including workbooks) but at least

you'd know what his assignments are.

Just a thought and I hope it helps.

>

> Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his

planner...but not

> in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's

date...plus a

> fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...

>

> I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came

home

> with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he

did

> write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time

reading

> her handwritting and figuring it out....

>

> I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as

writing in

> this planner....it was basically blank.

>

> And, sound like he did not do his classwork...so now what...do i

punish

> him?

>

> Jan

>

[Guest guest]

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he is

suppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leaves

school...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..he

doesn't have much time to go get the assignments...ugh! He already

leaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...

Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignments

either--I was wondering how that was going to work. He has

developmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition to

needing to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principal

had a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it was

his responsibility to write his assignments down and manage his

materials, not his teachers or his parents--he said they " had an

understanding " . So, he has never had to send him back.

Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down.

Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authority

can do.

I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him in

the beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn't

picking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he's

supposed to be doing until they start putting things in more

black-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to be

more black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know that

the things they are doing after things are already not done are

working--he understands and listens at that point. They just need to

be explicit like that from the beginning.

> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.

Principal claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to do

something so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide could

take a lot of weight off him.�

You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be more

specific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,

especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide or

whether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like they

don't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not being

followed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item and

determine why it is not working. For example, however they have it

worded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan on

doing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodation

is. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. If

the assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposed

to be working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns in

writing and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriate

person (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, or

both. For example, in our school district the SPED director

supervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.

I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't " get " this problem

a whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at all

with my son's problems until I learned who was who in the

administration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have no

way of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sure

exactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,

but we're managing. I still have my job.

And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start with

them, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.

Then, instead of spending all my time trying to work things out with

the teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with at

the time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimes

I've had to repeat the process with the administrator's boss, if I

can't get any action out of him/her.

I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently with

Asperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to other

special needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to their

kids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and I

think I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending a

lot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain and

getting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need help

from more specialized/more highly trained educators.

Hope this helps!

Ruth

[Guest guest]

Just a thought- has ´s education team been given some thorough and basic information on how to teach a student with AS/ADHD and what to consider/avoid etc.????????It all sounds to me as if ´s teachers do as little as possible,not want to bother with special needs,and that you,Jan, have to fight for every inch over and over again.............you can´t have it this way anymore..................--- Den sön 2008-10-26 skrev r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>:Från: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Ämne: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not workingTill: Datum: söndag 26 oktober 2008 16.13

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he is

suppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leaves

school...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..he

doesn't have much time to go get the assignments. ..ugh! He already

leaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...

Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignments

either--I was wondering how that was going to work. He has

developmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition to

needing to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principal

had a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it was

his responsibility to write his assignments down and manage his

materials, not his teachers or his parents--he said they "had an

understanding" . So, he has never had to send him back.

Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down.

Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authority

can do.

I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him in

the beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn't

picking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he's

supposed to be doing until they start putting things in more

black-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to be

more black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know that

the things they are doing after things are already not done are

working--he understands and listens at that point. They just need to

be explicit like that from the beginning.

> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.

Principal claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to do

something so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide could

take a lot of weight off him.�

You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be more

specific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,

especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide or

whether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like they

don't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not being

followed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item and

determine why it is not working. For example, however they have it

worded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan on

doing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodation

is. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. If

the assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposed

to be working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns in

writing and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriate

person (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, or

both. For example, in our school district the SPED director

supervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.

I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't "get" this problem

a whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at all

with my son's problems until I learned who was who in the

administration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have no

way of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sure

exactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,

but we're managing. I still have my job.

And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start with

them, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.

Then, instead of spending all my time trying to work things out with

the teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with at

the time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimes

I've had to repeat the process with the administrator' s boss, if I

can't get any action out of him/her.

I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently with

Asperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to other

special needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to their

kids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and I

think I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending a

lot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain and

getting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need help

from more specialized/ more highly trained educators.

Hope this helps!

Ruth

Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic..net

[Guest guest]

I have a 16 year old DS in high school that has AS and he also has a

planner that they use in school. It was explained to him all through

junior high school that the planner should have his daily assignments

and homework in it. Not once has he ever bothered to write in it and

he would say that there nothing written on the board for homework. So

I started writing on the planner saying that nothing was written there

and I would sign it. The planner was part of there grades for the

class. Of course he would get mad at me for writing in it.

Sure you can sit there and be mad at the teachers for not making sure

that kids has stuff written in the planner, but at what point to do

start blaming the kids for making sure that it is not in there either.

I am not defending the teachers, but I am also saying that the kids

should also take responsibility for their actions.

>

> From: jrushen <jrushen@...>

> Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working

>

> Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not

> in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a

> fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...

>

> I really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home

> with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did

> write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading

> her handwritting and figuring it out....

>

> I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in

> this planner....it was basically blank.

>

> And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do i

punish

> him?

>

> Jan

>

[Guest guest]

I guess that is what is going thru my mind too! I get mad becuase the teachers don't follow thru and my son is not being responsible...you son is 16 mine is 13....I am trying but getting fustrated and feel like fine...let him fail and see if that wakes him up! But you know what I don't think it will.

We talked to our son this weekend and I emailed the teacher....I don't see the point of writing what they did in class...there is not enough room...can't he just write his homwork in the spot or No Homework....I think he started to stop writing because he says it is stupid to write down what they did that period...the planner was created to write their homework assignments in....

The kids in the high school in special education Never Write in their planners....I don't know if it is today's kids or what....

So What do you do? Let him suffer and get lower grades? Or...do you give him consequences or what? How can we get him to write in it....

I don't want my son to think...I have AS so I don't have to do this or that....but then again...I want the teachers to follow thru on their part and they don't and I don't want to overload my son either. I sometimes feel overwhelmed and confused...my son can be very smart and know his way around the system.

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: Dave <dkellar1@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 3:42 PM

I have a 16 year old DS in high school that has AS and he also has aplanner that they use in school. It was explained to him all throughjunior high school that the planner should have his daily assignmentsand homework in it. Not once has he ever bothered to write in it andhe would say that there nothing written on the board for homework. SoI started writing on the planner saying that nothing was written thereand I would sign it. The planner was part of there grades for theclass. Of course he would get mad at me for writing in it. Sure you can sit there and be mad at the teachers for not making surethat kids has stuff written in the planner, but at what point to dostart blaming the kids for making sure that it is not in there either.I am not defending the teachers, but I am also saying that the kidsshould also take responsibility for their actions. > > From: jrushen <jrushen@... >> Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working> > Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM> > > > > > > Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not > in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a > fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...> > I

really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home > with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did > write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading > her handwritting and figuring it out....> > I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in > this planner....it was basically blank. > > And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do ipunish > him? > > Jan>

[Guest guest]

I guess that is what is going thru my mind too! I get mad becuase the teachers don't follow thru and my son is not being responsible...you son is 16 mine is 13....I am trying but getting fustrated and feel like fine...let him fail and see if that wakes him up! But you know what I don't think it will.

We talked to our son this weekend and I emailed the teacher....I don't see the point of writing what they did in class...there is not enough room...can't he just write his homwork in the spot or No Homework....I think he started to stop writing because he says it is stupid to write down what they did that period...the planner was created to write their homework assignments in....

The kids in the high school in special education Never Write in their planners....I don't know if it is today's kids or what....

So What do you do? Let him suffer and get lower grades? Or...do you give him consequences or what? How can we get him to write in it....

I don't want my son to think...I have AS so I don't have to do this or that....but then again...I want the teachers to follow thru on their part and they don't and I don't want to overload my son either. I sometimes feel overwhelmed and confused...my son can be very smart and know his way around the system.

Jan

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: Dave <dkellar1@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 3:42 PM

I have a 16 year old DS in high school that has AS and he also has aplanner that they use in school. It was explained to him all throughjunior high school that the planner should have his daily assignmentsand homework in it. Not once has he ever bothered to write in it andhe would say that there nothing written on the board for homework. SoI started writing on the planner saying that nothing was written thereand I would sign it. The planner was part of there grades for theclass. Of course he would get mad at me for writing in it. Sure you can sit there and be mad at the teachers for not making surethat kids has stuff written in the planner, but at what point to dostart blaming the kids for making sure that it is not in there either.I am not defending the teachers, but I am also saying that the kidsshould also take responsibility for their actions. > > From: jrushen <jrushen@... >> Subject: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working> > Date: Friday, October 24, 2008, 3:36 PM> > > > > > > Yesterday my son came home with the index card in his planner...but not > in the front of it ....taped to the page of yesterday's date...plus a > fouth item was added (Ha Ha)...> > I

really didn't think it would work and it is not...today he came home > with nothing written in his planner and the teacher informed me he did > write a letter when the whole class was...I have a hard time reading > her handwritting and figuring it out....> > I knew this would not work....today was the worst as far as writing in > this planner....it was basically blank. > > And, sound like he did not do his classwork... so now what...do ipunish > him? > > Jan>

[Guest guest]

I really don't know their background...I gave them lots of information...several good sites and books....and a background on and Asperger's. Anyone have any suggestions...cause I feel like pulling my hair out...

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: Sjödin <pettson39@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 11:49 AM

Just a thought- has ´s education team been given some thorough and basic information on how to teach a student with AS/ADHD and what to consider/avoid etc.???????? It all sounds to me as if ´s teachers do as little as possible,not want to bother with special needs,and that you,Jan, have to fight for every inch over and over again....... ......you can´t have it this way anymore..... ......... ....--- Den sön 2008-10-26 skrev r_woman2 <me2ruth (DOT) com>:

Från: r_woman2 <me2ruth (DOT) com>Ämne: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not workingTill: Datum: söndag 26 oktober 2008 16.13

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he issuppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leavesschool...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..hedoesn't have much time to go get the assignments. ..ugh! He alreadyleaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignmentseither--I was wondering how that was going to work. He hasdevelopmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition toneeding to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principalhad a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it washis responsibility to write his assignments down and manage hismaterials, not

his teachers or his parents--he said they "had anunderstanding" . So, he has never had to send him back. Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down. Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authoritycan do.I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him inthe beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn'tpicking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he'ssupposed to be doing until they start putting things in moreblack-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to bemore black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know thatthe things they are doing after things are already not done areworking--he understands and listens at that point. They just need tobe explicit like that from the beginning.> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.Principal

claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to dosomething so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide couldtake a lot of weight off him.� You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be morespecific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide orwhether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like theydon't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not beingfollowed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item anddetermine why it is not working. For example, however they have itworded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan ondoing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodationis. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. Ifthe assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposedto be

working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns inwriting and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriateperson (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, orboth. For example, in our school district the SPED directorsupervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't "get" this problema whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at allwith my son's problems until I learned who was who in theadministration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have noway of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sureexactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,but we're managing. I still have my job. :)And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start withthem, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.Then,

instead of spending all my time trying to work things out withthe teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with atthe time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimesI've had to repeat the process with the administrator' s boss, if Ican't get any action out of him/her.I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently withAsperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to otherspecial needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to theirkids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and Ithink I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending alot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain andgetting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need helpfrom more specialized/ more highly trained educators.Hope this

helps!Ruth

Sök efter kärleken! Hitta din tvillingsjäl på Dejting: http://se.meetic. .net

[Guest guest]

I think you are right ...100% right...they just don't understand or get our kids!!!! they don't!!! And, I spoke to the teacher's supervisor....I have not gone above him yet...he was away for 3 days...I will wait to after my meeting with STep by Step and my son's pscyhiatric evaluation and then i may ask the supervisor if just he and I can meet. His boss is the Assistant Superintendent of Special Education and I work for her too.

Jan

P.S. I also think the teachers don't have the time and don't want to be botherered with the extra work...such a delicate fine line! I don't want to piss the teacher off and have her take it out on my son...but I want things done and followed!

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 11:13 AM

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he issuppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leavesschool...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..hedoesn't have much time to go get the assignments. ..ugh! He alreadyleaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignmentseither--I was wondering how that was going to work. He hasdevelopmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition toneeding to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principalhad a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it washis responsibility to write his assignments down and manage hismaterials, not

his teachers or his parents--he said they "had anunderstanding" . So, he has never had to send him back. Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down. Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authoritycan do.I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him inthe beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn'tpicking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he'ssupposed to be doing until they start putting things in moreblack-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to bemore black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know thatthe things they are doing after things are already not done areworking--he understands and listens at that point. They just need tobe explicit like that from the beginning.> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.Principal

claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to dosomething so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide couldtake a lot of weight off him.� You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be morespecific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide orwhether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like theydon't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not beingfollowed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item anddetermine why it is not working. For example, however they have itworded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan ondoing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodationis. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. Ifthe assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposedto be

working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns inwriting and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriateperson (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, orboth. For example, in our school district the SPED directorsupervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't "get" this problema whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at allwith my son's problems until I learned who was who in theadministration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have noway of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sureexactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,but we're managing. I still have my job. :)And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start withthem, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.Then,

instead of spending all my time trying to work things out withthe teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with atthe time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimesI've had to repeat the process with the administrator' s boss, if Ican't get any action out of him/her.I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently withAsperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to otherspecial needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to theirkids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and Ithink I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending alot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain andgetting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need helpfrom more specialized/ more highly trained educators.Hope this

helps!Ruth

[Guest guest]

I think you are right ...100% right...they just don't understand or get our kids!!!! they don't!!! And, I spoke to the teacher's supervisor....I have not gone above him yet...he was away for 3 days...I will wait to after my meeting with STep by Step and my son's pscyhiatric evaluation and then i may ask the supervisor if just he and I can meet. His boss is the Assistant Superintendent of Special Education and I work for her too.

Jan

P.S. I also think the teachers don't have the time and don't want to be botherered with the extra work...such a delicate fine line! I don't want to piss the teacher off and have her take it out on my son...but I want things done and followed!

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 11:13 AM

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he issuppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leavesschool...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..hedoesn't have much time to go get the assignments. ..ugh! He alreadyleaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignmentseither--I was wondering how that was going to work. He hasdevelopmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition toneeding to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principalhad a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it washis responsibility to write his assignments down and manage hismaterials, not

his teachers or his parents--he said they "had anunderstanding" . So, he has never had to send him back. Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down. Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authoritycan do.I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him inthe beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn'tpicking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he'ssupposed to be doing until they start putting things in moreblack-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to bemore black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know thatthe things they are doing after things are already not done areworking--he understands and listens at that point. They just need tobe explicit like that from the beginning.> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.Principal

claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to dosomething so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide couldtake a lot of weight off him.� You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be morespecific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide orwhether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like theydon't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not beingfollowed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item anddetermine why it is not working. For example, however they have itworded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan ondoing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodationis. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. Ifthe assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposedto be

working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns inwriting and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriateperson (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, orboth. For example, in our school district the SPED directorsupervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't "get" this problema whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at allwith my son's problems until I learned who was who in theadministration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have noway of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sureexactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,but we're managing. I still have my job. :)And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start withthem, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.Then,

instead of spending all my time trying to work things out withthe teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with atthe time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimesI've had to repeat the process with the administrator' s boss, if Ican't get any action out of him/her.I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently withAsperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to otherspecial needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to theirkids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and Ithink I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending alot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain andgetting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need helpfrom more specialized/ more highly trained educators.Hope this

helps!Ruth

[Guest guest]

I think you are right ...100% right...they just don't understand or get our kids!!!! they don't!!! And, I spoke to the teacher's supervisor....I have not gone above him yet...he was away for 3 days...I will wait to after my meeting with STep by Step and my son's pscyhiatric evaluation and then i may ask the supervisor if just he and I can meet. His boss is the Assistant Superintendent of Special Education and I work for her too.

Jan

P.S. I also think the teachers don't have the time and don't want to be botherered with the extra work...such a delicate fine line! I don't want to piss the teacher off and have her take it out on my son...but I want things done and followed!

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 11:13 AM

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he issuppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leavesschool...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..hedoesn't have much time to go get the assignments. ..ugh! He alreadyleaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignmentseither--I was wondering how that was going to work. He hasdevelopmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition toneeding to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principalhad a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it washis responsibility to write his assignments down and manage hismaterials, not

his teachers or his parents--he said they "had anunderstanding" . So, he has never had to send him back. Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down. Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authoritycan do.I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him inthe beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn'tpicking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he'ssupposed to be doing until they start putting things in moreblack-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to bemore black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know thatthe things they are doing after things are already not done areworking--he understands and listens at that point. They just need tobe explicit like that from the beginning.> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.Principal

claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to dosomething so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide couldtake a lot of weight off him.� You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be morespecific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide orwhether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like theydon't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not beingfollowed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item anddetermine why it is not working. For example, however they have itworded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan ondoing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodationis. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. Ifthe assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposedto be

working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns inwriting and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriateperson (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, orboth. For example, in our school district the SPED directorsupervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't "get" this problema whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at allwith my son's problems until I learned who was who in theadministration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have noway of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sureexactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,but we're managing. I still have my job. :)And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start withthem, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.Then,

instead of spending all my time trying to work things out withthe teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with atthe time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimesI've had to repeat the process with the administrator' s boss, if Ican't get any action out of him/her.I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently withAsperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to otherspecial needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to theirkids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and Ithink I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending alot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain andgetting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need helpfrom more specialized/ more highly trained educators.Hope this

helps!Ruth

[Guest guest]

I think you are right ...100% right...they just don't understand or get our kids!!!! they don't!!! And, I spoke to the teacher's supervisor....I have not gone above him yet...he was away for 3 days...I will wait to after my meeting with STep by Step and my son's pscyhiatric evaluation and then i may ask the supervisor if just he and I can meet. His boss is the Assistant Superintendent of Special Education and I work for her too.

Jan

P.S. I also think the teachers don't have the time and don't want to be botherered with the extra work...such a delicate fine line! I don't want to piss the teacher off and have her take it out on my son...but I want things done and followed!

Jan Rushen

Smile because it is contagious!!!!

From: r_woman2 <me2ruth@...>Subject: Re: ( ) Index Card 1,2,3, already not working Date: Sunday, October 26, 2008, 11:13 AM

> Second...they started this check in/check out with him....he issuppose to go to guidance when he arrives and when he leavesschool...maybe she can check it...but then if it isn't filled in ..hedoesn't have much time to go get the assignments. ..ugh! He alreadyleaves 15 min. before the other kids because he rides the smaller bus...Well, my son doesn't have time to go back and get assignmentseither--I was wondering how that was going to work. He hasdevelopmental coordination disability and moves slowly in addition toneeding to catch the bus. What happened was that the assist principalhad a chat with him and let him know in no uncertain terms that it washis responsibility to write his assignments down and manage hismaterials, not

his teachers or his parents--he said they "had anunderstanding" . So, he has never had to send him back. Overnight, my son started completely writing his assignments down. Amazing what a little straight talk and a little masculine authoritycan do.I'm hoping the school picks up on this. They're too fuzzy on him inthe beginning--just like with the other kids, and my aspie isn'tpicking up on the body/facial language. He's not getting what he'ssupposed to be doing until they start putting things in moreblack-and-white terms after he's already in trouble. They need to bemore black-and-white from the get-go. So, I'm letting them know thatthe things they are doing after things are already not done areworking--he understands and listens at that point. They just need tobe explicit like that from the beginning.> I have suggested to the school since the rubber band incident (Asst.Principal

claimed it was� a VIOLENT ACT) that the school need to dosomething so this to prevent this from happening again. The aide couldtake a lot of weight off him.� You shouldn't have to do this, but I think you will have to be morespecific about what they need to be doing. It may be questionable,especially at his age, whether your son really needs an aide orwhether his IEP simply needs to be followed. It sounds like theydon't have a plan of action of what to do if the IEP is not beingfollowed. You may have to go down through his IEP item by item anddetermine why it is not working. For example, however they have itworded about the planner being filled in--ask them what they plan ondoing if it doesn't get filled in or whatever the actual accommodationis. It sounds like right now the plan of action is--do nothing. Ifthe assistant principal is the school administrator you are supposedto be

working with and he isn't getting it--put your concerns inwriting and copy them to either the principal, whoever the appropriateperson (whoever supervises IEPs) in the school district SPED dept, orboth. For example, in our school district the SPED directorsupervises 504s and the assist director supervises IEPs.I'd be really surprised if the administrators don't "get" this problema whole lot better than the teachers. I couldn't get anywhere at allwith my son's problems until I learned who was who in theadministration and learned how to work with them all. Since I have noway of knowing what really goes on behind the scenes, I'm not sureexactly how it works. It's not perfect and it is still a lot of work,but we're managing. I still have my job. :)And it is not that I don't talk to the teachers at all. I start withthem, but I've learned to stop when I can tell they aren't getting it.Then,

instead of spending all my time trying to work things out withthe teacher myself, I let whatever administrator I'm working with atthe time know what is going on and let them fix it. And sometimesI've had to repeat the process with the administrator' s boss, if Ican't get any action out of him/her.I've come to the conclusion that one has to do things differently withAsperger; it seems to be difficult to understand. I talk to otherspecial needs parents and they spend a lot of time talking to theirkids' teachers, but that hasn't worked for me. I think back and Ithink I probably even stopped my son from getting help by spending alot of time with teachers who didn't understand, trying to explain andgetting misunderstood over and over. It seems such teachers need helpfrom more specialized/ more highly trained educators.Hope this

helps!Ruth