Second guessing

[Guest guest]

Hi I started Sam on GFSE again today 2 drops in his juice, with 1/4 tsp of no

fenol, he drank it no problem, but is pooing every hour in small amounts it is

shiny almost mucousy I think and his anus is looking irritated, should I keep

going? is this a good sign, or maybe an adverse reaction? Any info would be

great thanks so much

Libby

[Guest guest]

So it's normal for me to be second guessing myself as to whether or not I really want to go through surgery? Do I really need another opinion? I am considering Dr. Fitch at Duke since he seems to be active with the SRS. I know that I have a mild case of flatback at this point because for the most part I am able to stand upright. Two spinal surgeons have told me I need surgery but that is natural being they are surgeons. However, Dr. Reeg did indicate I could wait a few years and things were not going to change drastically for the worse. I have had a nagging feeling that I should try exercise first - to lose 20-30 pounds which is all carried in my abdomen and hips, and strengthen my abs and back. I know it is a long shot but maybe it would hold off surgery for a very long time. I guess it is worth a shot since surgery isn't scheduled until June. And it isn't going to harm me to even postpone it until next year. I look forward to meeting some of you in April. Maybe you will say, "Oh, you are not in bad shape at all." I am really hoping being off of work will relieve the stress and reduce the pain and make a big difference. I've been unemployed for a full 5 hours now! Back to the life of being completely self-employed!

Peggy

[ ] Re: Visit to Dr. Bridwell vs. Dr.

Then I was able to go forward with confidence....and even then there will be 100's of opportunities to second guess ourselves. Cam

[Guest guest]

Peggy,

I would say that we all have second guessed ourselves on the

risk/reward ratio for this surgery...I sure did. Seems to me it would

be abnormal not to!

This may be a broad, general statement...but if I was going to say

that there is a mental process that we seem to go through approaching

surgery...it seems to me that most often our members first must

satisfy themselves that they have arrived at a point where surgery

really is the " last resort " . That means that they usually have tried

every other non-invasive method suggested to them and then find

themselves at the outer limits of pain control vs. quality of life.

I believe that somewhere along the way a good, qualified, second

opinion helps to focus the range of choices before the patient, as

well as build confidence in the surgeon and their relationship.

You make a valid point....surgeons do surgery. That is their trade,

and generally it can be supposed that most of them will propose it if

they believe it is a viable option. It does seem that the SRS

membership is beginning to focus on a more " comprehensive " approach

to dealing with our health needs...but I suspect it comes down to the

particular doctor, his/her practice and their interests.

As has been said so many times before...this is elective

surgery..rarely an emergency, and you can pick the time and place and

surgeon whenever you feel that you are ready, if ever. And as many of

us have said...that is really a " gut " feeling more than anything. If

your life is working for you, and your pain is not overwhelming every

thought, every relationship, every otherwise joyful moment...you may

not be ready to go ahead. Only you can know that.

I know somewhere in the 6 months preceeding surgery I had tried

epidural injections, was taking the max meds permitted for my work,

was at a good weight, was working out in the pool, had a good support

network in place....and the time was right. I suddenly saw fairly

clearly that if something did not change fairly soon that equation

was going to change. I never doubted that my husband loved me, but I

did not like the way our relationship was changing...me dependant,

cranky and in pain...not the woman he married. I didn't like the way

I had to parent my child. I did not like every thought in my head to

be about how I would negotiate the pain before I moved. I knew in my

heart that although it wouldn't be something I would contemplate in

the near future, that even suicide was something that was probably

going to move into the relm of " possible choices " if the pain I was

in were to be my permanant fate. Once I was " there " I began to make

the kinds of decisions that enabled me to move forward. Up until that

point, in retrospect, I believe I was procrastinating or temporizing.

We will never know how these decisions are all going to play out for

us in advance. It is a big decision and a very personal one. Please

take your time with it.

Take Care,

Cam

[Guest guest]

Dear Peggy,

Most of us second guess this, it's normal. You being off work, or working at home, and working on your weight sure can't hurt. When I was at the stage considering surgery after years of being symptomatic, I just wanted it done and over. I differ from a lot of the women here, as I was a fulltime homemaker, mother and wife, and didn't work outside the home. Still the downhill progress got me to the point where my daily living was really affected by it negatively. I had to plan my day around my pain, not by what I wanted to do or get done. Pain changes you, your personality, and how you interact with people. Some days I was a pure b#$% & . This can and does weigh on kids and a marriage. Those around you won't for the most part tell you, they know you have troubles, but after the surgery I got earfulls about how concerned they were about me before hand. I really thought I was handling the pain well, but I guess that wasn't true. All of us have that friend who is sometimes painfully honest with you, ask her how you are doing, I wish I had, really can be eye opening to hear what they have to say.

My only advice with this is, be sure. This is a huge decision, and you need to go into it knowing that this absolutely is the next step for you, that you have exhausted all other treatment, and this is what needs to be done. Next find a great doc you have confidence in and a good working relationship with, as this will be a relationship that will go on for years after surgery. Have the support of family and friends, and if they just don't get how big this is, educate them. Then when you go into sugery you'll have peace about it, you will have crossed all the T's and dotted all the I's. I knew surgery was my only shot at a more functioning, pain reduced life, after trying meds and epidural injections. I knew Kumar was my doc, and he'd do everything possible to help me get back the functioning life I so desired. I worked hard to educate my family and friends so they were on board with what I was doing. So I went into surgery feeling like that was where I was supposed to be.

[ ] Re: Visit to Dr. Bridwell vs. Dr.

Then I was able to go forward with confidence....and even then there will be 100's of opportunities to second guess ourselves. Cam