bad behavior

[Guest guest]

>

> I am married to a career librarian .... .

>

> Amy

I'm jealous. Not of your being married to HIM, but of his getting to be

a Librarian.

[Guest guest]

" It is in their nature to press boundaries, some moreso than other,

and if those boundaries are pliable or noexistant, then they will

keep pushing. "

And don't I know it :-) I'd say some adults are the same, even myself

to some extent. I will often push the boundaries, sometimes

unitentionally if I do not clearly know where they are.

" The lack of fathers is also directly linked to to high crime rates

and this other bad behavior. "

Well I certainly hope there are exeptions to the rules on this one.

Although my son has a father and I was once married to him, he is now

practically non-exsistent. Also I ain't going to rush out and try

find a father figure for my son. I have been in a long term

relationship before, my son does like to try and push the boundaries,

he can be a very willful child at times - very challenging :-) I have

always stood firm against him and boy have I sometimes seen some

fireworks in doing so :-) metaphorically speaking :-)

> I think this is the biggest problem. In my mother's experience, if

the

> parent is easily dominated by the child or the parent doesn't much

care about the

> child, then those will be the biggest problem kids. Likewise if the

parent

> constantly makes excuses for bad behavior or even condones it (some

parents have

> actually encouraged their kids to fight for and take whatever they

wanted

> while others have seemed to try arrange situations for lawsuits

against the

> school). Latchkey kids without supervision are also another type

of this.

>

> The simple fact is that without proper supervision and discipline,

not

> meaning harsh kinds but but a firm guiding hand, kids will run

wild. It is in

> their nature to press boundaries, some moreso than other, and if

those boundaries

> are pliable or noexistant, then they will keep pushing. The

boundaries are

> supposed to teach restraint and moral conduct. If there are no

boundaries,

> odds are they aren't going to learn either or will have a very

skewed sense of

> these.

>

> The lack of fathers is also directly linked to to high crime rates

and this

> other bad behavior. I won't really go into figures here, but the

correlation

> is there. We even see this in other animals. In Africa, because of

the hunting

> of older males for their tusks, many young male elephants ran

wild. These

> gangs would kill other animals just for fun, tear up fields and

were just

> generally terrors. To combat this without killing them, surviving

older males were

> introduced to these groups. The young males shaped up very quickly

once the

> older male established order.

>

> Unfortunately, I think this whole thing is going to get much worse

before it

> gets better. Illegitamacy is on the rise in all racial groups and

with it the

> incidence of crime and bad behavior. I doubt this trend will

reverse soon

> but I just hope that it won't be fatal to Western Culture.

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/23/2006 3:01:47 AM Eastern Standard Time, julie.stevenson16@... writes:

Well I certainly hope there are exeptions to the rules on this one. Although my son has a father and I was once married to him, he is now practically non-exsistent. Also I ain't going to rush out and try find a father figure for my son. I have been in a long term relationship before, my son does like to try and push the boundaries, he can be a very willful child at times - very challenging :-) I have always stood firm against him and boy have I sometimes seen some fireworks in doing so :-) metaphorically speaking :-)

There are indeed exceptions. My father was a real jerk and was more toxic than helpful. Money was tight without him around, but life was just more livable without him around. Being AS probably helped some since it kept me away from the bad crowd.

Still, a mother and father, married and with a good relationship is the best for raising kids. It can be done in other circumstances, but it is a lot tougher.

[Guest guest]

>

" I will often push the boundaries, sometimes

> unitentionally if I do not clearly know where they are. "

I did this a little today at the dentist. I have to get a filling

replaced because the one I got a few years ago is, as the dentist

said, " defective " . I asked him if the dentist did a bad job and he

wouldn't answer. I was a little annoyed because I thought he was

ignoring me so I asked him again and he paused then said, " We have

better materials now. " Then I realized he wasn't answering because he

didn't want to say anything bad about the dentist. That was one of

those 'read between the lines' thing where the pregnant pause was

supposed to mean 'yes, but I can't say that'. But I pushed for the

answer because I really wanted to know.

[Guest guest]

>

" I just shaved my head and someone looked at me in a hostile way

yesterday because he stereotyped me as a white supremacist. "

Unfortunately I have a tendency to look at certain hair cuts on men--

shaved or buzz cut and feel a stereotype coming on! Once I saw a guy

with a shaved head and beard who looked just like a white supremicist

to me, plus he was big and mean looking. Then his wife came up to him,

and she was black! I just stood there, shocked, but it taught me a

lesson!

[Guest guest]

Ha ha, sounds like something I would do :-)

> >

> " I will often push the boundaries, sometimes

> > unitentionally if I do not clearly know where they are. "

>

> I did this a little today at the dentist. I have to get a filling

> replaced because the one I got a few years ago is, as the dentist

> said, " defective " . I asked him if the dentist did a bad job and he

> wouldn't answer. I was a little annoyed because I thought he was

> ignoring me so I asked him again and he paused then said, " We have

> better materials now. " Then I realized he wasn't answering because

he

> didn't want to say anything bad about the dentist. That was one of

> those 'read between the lines' thing where the pregnant pause was

> supposed to mean 'yes, but I can't say that'. But I pushed for the

> answer because I really wanted to know.

>

[Guest guest]

There's alot of guys who get all sorts of tattoos and adopt tough looks and then you see them pushing a baby stroller. I generally don't like anyone looking in my eyes. It's insulting. A kid who looked to be about 18 who was riding a bike did that yesterday but gave me a dirty look and I just blew it off. I just have to understand that those people have their own problems and what's the point of replacing one evil with another, especially since they're doing it passively aggressively knowing that no one can catch up with him because he's riding a bike. mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: >"I just shaved my head and someone looked at me in a hostile way yesterday because he stereotyped me as a white

supremacist."Unfortunately I have a tendency to look at certain hair cuts on men--shaved or buzz cut and feel a stereotype coming on! Once I saw a guy with a shaved head and beard who looked just like a white supremicist to me, plus he was big and mean looking. Then his wife came up to him, and she was black! I just stood there, shocked, but it taught me a lesson!

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[Guest guest]

>

> " There's alot of guys who get all sorts of tattoos and adopt tough

looks and then you see them pushing a baby stroller. "

Isn't that true! I've learned that sensitive people will often adopt a

tough look as a wall to protect them.

" A kid who looked to be about 18 who was riding a bike did that

yesterday but gave me a dirty look and I just blew it off. "

I really hate when people give me a dirty look. It bothers me way out

of proportion. You're right, it's usually their problem or sometimes

they might be thinking of something negative that has nothing to do

with you and looking at you at the same time. Often I think people

should be polite and thoughtful about those things but I think non-

Aspies are more comfortable in public and don't think about things as

intensely as I do.

[Guest guest]

My dad was intense when I was a kid. My mom was more subtly intense. I realize now that their divorce happened before I was 2 because they didn't compliment each other's attributes. Now, they've started to mellow out and it's so strange. Awhile back I saw the movie "intensity" and it made me remember how dumb I act when I'm being too intense. I'm sure you're right. I thought about my Granddad and how he crinkles up his nose and how it's usually just his upper sinuses and that he looks silly when he does it. mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: >>"There's alot of guys who get all sorts of tattoos and adopt tough looks and then you see them pushing a baby stroller."Isn't that true! I've learned that

sensitive people will often adopt a tough look as a wall to protect them."A kid who looked to be about 18 who was riding a bike did that yesterday but gave me a dirty look and I just blew it off."I really hate when people give me a dirty look. It bothers me way out of proportion. You're right, it's usually their problem or sometimes they might be thinking of something negative that has nothing to do with you and looking at you at the same time. Often I think people should be polite and thoughtful about those things but I think non-Aspies are more comfortable in public and don't think about things as intensely as I do.

[Guest guest]

Just driving in the city is no fun because of the stoplights. I didn't ever like the color red for when to stop. There was just a Mythbusters show and they justed busted the hole in the airplane myth. They showed that airplanes aren't really any different by the example of the first class section being ripped out and only one person was sucked from the plane. It sounds like a good tactic that your husband uses. I've heard people say that phrase before and it's quite useful. mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: >>"Awhile back I saw the movie "intensity" and it made me remember how dumb I act when I'm being too intense." Me too. I'm a weird combination of mellow and intense, but more intense than mellow. Dumb things will set me off,

like I can't stand to be in the slowest lane of traffic, or I'll feel way too strongly about things, especially injustices. If I get upset or angry I'll lasso in everything that makes me mad that's related and get more angry. When I get like that my husband will say, "Now don't go off on that or you'll really get upset."

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[Guest guest]

Injustices really get to me, guy who diagnosed me said aspies often

like that, that they feel injustices deeply.

One of my exes used to tell me to get off my soap box :-)

> >

> > " Awhile back I saw the movie " intensity " and it made me remember how

> dumb I act when I'm being too intense. "

>

> Me too. I'm a weird combination of mellow and intense, but more

intense

> than mellow. Dumb things will set me off, like I can't stand to be in

> the slowest lane of traffic, or I'll feel way too strongly about

> things, especially injustices. If I get upset or angry I'll lasso in

> everything that makes me mad that's related and get more angry. When

I

> get like that my husband will say, " Now don't go off on that or

you'll

> really get upset. "

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/23/2006 11:32:08 AM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes:

I did this a little today at the dentist. I have to get a filling replaced because the one I got a few years ago is, as the dentist said, "defective". I asked him if the dentist did a bad job and he wouldn't answer. I was a little annoyed because I thought he was ignoring me so I asked him again and he paused then said, "We have better materials now." Then I realized he wasn't answering because he didn't want to say anything bad about the dentist. That was one of those 'read between the lines' thing where the pregnant pause was supposed to mean 'yes, but I can't say that'. But I pushed for the answer because I really wanted to know.

I've done things like this too. In high school I had to go to a urologist. He wanted to do an iodine Xray on me, which would have meant getting an IV solution with a kind of iodine in it. I told him no. The doctor was a little surprised by that but I told him that I had had mild reactions to topical iodine before and I wasn't about to let them pump it right into my veins. He said there would be no problems and I agreed: there would be no problems because he wasn't going to give me the IV. So instead they did an ultrasound on me and everything looked fine on that, so there was no need to have done the other thing anyway.

When I was a child and in the hospital to have my tonsils out, the nurse came in to give me some medicine. I asked her what it was and she said it was something I had to take. That wasn't good enough so I put my hand over my mouth and said if she didn't tell me what it was there was no way I was going to take it. She looked at my mother in complete surprise and my mother told her to tell me what it was or I wouldn't take it. So, the nurse told me what it was and what it would do (it was a pill to help make me sleepy before surgery). Once she told me, I took it without a problem. The nurse said that in all her years I was the only child ever to do that.

[Guest guest]

> >

> > " Awhile back I saw the movie " intensity " and it made me remember

how

> dumb I act when I'm being too intense. "

>

> Me too. I'm a weird combination of mellow and intense, but more

intense

> than mellow. Dumb things will set me off, like I can't stand to be

in

> the slowest lane of traffic, or I'll feel way too strongly about

> things, especially injustices. If I get upset or angry I'll lasso

in

> everything that makes me mad that's related and get more angry.

When I

> get like that my husband will say, " Now don't go off on that or

you'll

> really get upset. "

>

>

>

>

>

>

> FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship,

support and acceptance. Everyone is valued.

>

> Check the Links section for more FAM forums.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>

> " One of my exes used to tell me to get off my soap box :-) "

Ah,the soap box--a familiar place for me. Fortunately, my husband, who

is not Aspie, hates injustices too, and likes to get on the soapbox

with me, so we're able to have some good, healthy rants that make us

feel better, allow us to feel like someone agrees, and energizes us to

go out and fix those injustices, or at least deal with them!

>

(I just had to look up where 'soap box' came from and found that it was

an actual soap box that was used as a stand for an impromtu or

nonofficial public speech.)

[Guest guest]

>

> " One of my exes used to tell me to get off my soap box :-) "

Ah,the soap box--a familiar place for me. Fortunately, my husband, who

is not Aspie, hates injustices too, and likes to get on the soapbox

with me, so we're able to have some good, healthy rants that make us

feel better, allow us to feel like someone agrees, and energizes us to

go out and fix those injustices, or at least deal with them!

>

(I just had to look up where 'soap box' came from and found that it was

an actual soap box that was used as a stand for an impromtu or

nonofficial public speech.)

[Guest guest]

Ha ha, yes I love a good rant now and again, kind of like venting :-)

more people should care what goes on, many don't seem to though :-(

In London there used to be a speakers corner, don't know if it still

there? People used to stand on soap boxes or whatever and rant/talk

about whatever they wanted and no I never did :-)

> >

> > " One of my exes used to tell me to get off my soap box :-) "

>

> Ah,the soap box--a familiar place for me. Fortunately, my husband,

who

> is not Aspie, hates injustices too, and likes to get on the soapbox

> with me, so we're able to have some good, healthy rants that make

us

> feel better, allow us to feel like someone agrees, and energizes us

to

> go out and fix those injustices, or at least deal with them!

> >

> (I just had to look up where 'soap box' came from and found that it

was

> an actual soap box that was used as a stand for an impromtu or

> nonofficial public speech.)

>

[Guest guest]

Well, it's good that the lights exist though. There would more than likely be alot of traffic problems. I imagine there'll be a substantial amount of land destroyed eventually to accomodate humans' whims. I figure the more people begin to normalize everything and make it sound like a car is second to breathing, all the uniqueness will be lost and the corporations owning everything or the gov't regulating everything while humans are too stupid to understand til it's already installed. Kind of makes me think of the book "The Giver". Communism sounds bad. mikecarrie01 <mikecarrie01@...> wrote: > >> >"Awhile back I saw the movie "intensity" and it made me remember how > dumb I act when I'm being too intense." > > Me too. I'm a weird combination of mellow and intense, but more intense > than

mellow. Dumb things will set me off, like I can't stand to be in > the slowest lane of traffic, or I'll feel way too strongly about > things, especially injustices. If I get upset or angry I'll lasso in > everything that makes me mad that's related and get more angry. When I > get like that my husband will say, "Now don't go off on that or you'll > really get upset."> > > > > > > FAM Secret Society is a community based on respect, friendship, support and acceptance. Everyone is valued. > > Check the Links section for more FAM forums. > > > >

[Guest guest]

When I went into surgery to drain my eyes a month ago I was in for a rude awakening. The pill you mentioned was proabably valium, am I right? Well, the nurse told me what she was putting in my IV and she said Atropine and Pepcid before I go into general anaesthesia. I started feeling like I was crawling out of my skin 5 minutes later as the nurse tech wheeled me downstairs in the operating room. I told him what was going on and he said he was sorry if it was a bumpy ride. He couldn't understand for some reason that I was having an adverse reaction to the Atropine which is in amazonian frogs that tribal people use on their spears to kill people. I started kicking my legs when they got me on the table and beating my fists on the arm rest. They still couldn't understand and they finally gave me an IV of valium and some oxygen and I laughed til they put me out. I woke up and the nurse said "He's awake", while a guy with pancreatic cancer that just had an epidural was

writhing in agony and wanted more painkillers. The nurse explained that to him and then she talked to the other nurse again saying this guy has asperger's, I like to call it Ass-burgers. Maybe she thought i couldn't hear her but, I just thought it was funny as well. They wheeled me back up to my room and I told my dad about it my reaction to the Atropine and he said how when he went into surgery for his eye he had problems after waking up from surgery and extreme anxiety. That's exactly what I felt like before the surgery, I told him. He didn't believe it. I told my mom about it and she is a nurse supervisor in intensive care unit. She told me I had an adverse reaction to it and that Atropine is not necessary. She told the doctor to put that on my medical record for next time. Anyway, dug up some information on Atropine and it is an anticholinergic and works directly on the muscarinic receptors in the brain which is extremely rare. It blocks the ability to form memory but,

I remember it all to well. VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 5/23/2006 11:32:08 AM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes: I did this a little today at the dentist. I have to get a filling replaced because the one I got a few years ago is, as the dentist said, "defective". I asked him if the dentist did a bad job and he wouldn't answer. I was a little annoyed because I thought he was ignoring me so I asked him again and he paused then said, "We have better materials now." Then I realized he wasn't answering because he

didn't want to say anything bad about the dentist. That was one of those 'read between the lines' thing where the pregnant pause was supposed to mean 'yes, but I can't say that'. But I pushed for the answer because I really wanted to know. I've done things like this too. In high school I had to go to a urologist. He wanted to do an iodine Xray on me, which would have meant getting an IV solution with a kind of iodine in it. I told him no. The doctor was a little surprised by that but I told him that I had had mild reactions to topical iodine before and I wasn't about to let them pump it right into my veins. He said there would be no problems and I agreed: there would be no problems because he wasn't going to give me the IV. So instead they did an ultrasound on me and everything looked fine on that, so there was no need to have done the other thing anyway. When I was a child and

in the hospital to have my tonsils out, the nurse came in to give me some medicine. I asked her what it was and she said it was something I had to take. That wasn't good enough so I put my hand over my mouth and said if she didn't tell me what it was there was no way I was going to take it. She looked at my mother in complete surprise and my mother told her to tell me what it was or I wouldn't take it. So, the nurse told me what it was and what it would do (it was a pill to help make me sleepy before surgery). Once she told me, I took it without a problem. The nurse said that in all her years I was the only child ever to do that.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/23/2006 10:23:59 PM Eastern Standard Time, drumthis2001@... writes:

The pill you mentioned was proabably valium, am I right?

I don't remember what it was. However, if the medicines were meant to block memory, it didn't work exactly right. I remember getting the gas and the world going black. In darkness I stayed for how long I don't know. It was like floating in darkness with no sense of time. At the time I was there for what seemed quite a while, but then when I woke up, it was as if no time had passed at all, nothing more than a blink. As for the surgery though, I remember nothing. I do remember the pain in my throat when I woke up, but it wasn't too terribly bad after a few minutes.

That fellow with the cancer reminds me of one reason I hope they never ban firearms. If I ever end up like that where death is certain but theroad slow and painful, I'd be very likely to take a shortcut with a 12 gauge to the head.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/23/2006 10:23:59 PM Eastern Standard Time, drumthis2001@... writes:

The pill you mentioned was proabably valium, am I right?

I don't remember what it was. However, if the medicines were meant to block memory, it didn't work exactly right. I remember getting the gas and the world going black. In darkness I stayed for how long I don't know. It was like floating in darkness with no sense of time. At the time I was there for what seemed quite a while, but then when I woke up, it was as if no time had passed at all, nothing more than a blink. As for the surgery though, I remember nothing. I do remember the pain in my throat when I woke up, but it wasn't too terribly bad after a few minutes.

That fellow with the cancer reminds me of one reason I hope they never ban firearms. If I ever end up like that where death is certain but theroad slow and painful, I'd be very likely to take a shortcut with a 12 gauge to the head.

[Guest guest]

" He said there would be no problems and I agreed: there would be no

problems because he

> wasn't going to give me the IV. "

Everyone needs to take responsibility for their own care, instead of

blindly accepting what the doctors say. It's good you knew that, even

as a child. It's hard to do, between doing research about what they

want to use and other options, and going up against doctors, but

important. There are a lot of mistakes made as well, a lot of

carelessness. The same things that happen on other jobs--poor job

performance, politics, laziness, ignorance, happen in hospitals as

well. Ask those nurses who don't feel that talking will compromise

their jobs, what goes on.

[Guest guest]

" She told the doctor to put that on my medical record for next time.

Anyway, dug up some information on Atropine and it is an

anticholinergic and works directly on the muscarinic receptors in the

brain which is extremely rare. It blocks the ability to form memory

but, I

> remember it all to well. "

I'm always afraid I'll react strangely to something. Most drugs or

procedures are made for a majority and if you're in the minority: oh

well. Flu vaccine messes with my immune system, and I also reacted to

the substances in the vaccine which aren't good anyway but worse for

me.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/24/2006 3:13:37 PM Eastern Standard Time, no_reply writes:

,I had a sodium pentathol injection to knock me out for oral surgery that gave me a similar experience. I also remember feeling a pleasant numbness of coldness during that time.It is probably one of the best rests I have ever had.TomAdministrator

They gave me sodium pentathol when I had my wisdom teeth out too. I don't remember much about that though. They gave me some gas first and that's the last thing I remember, not the surgery, not the ride home, not getting in the house, anything. I do remember though the nightmares and hallucinations from the painkillers though. A word to the wise: if you are on heavy duty painkillers, don't listen to heavy metal music. I listened to some Black Sabbath and I saw everything they were talking about in the song, like I was part of a movie where it was actually happening.

As for rest, coldness or anything like that, there wasn't any of that for me. Actually I wasn't really aware of anything for 2 or 3 days, aside from little snippets and the dreams.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 5/24/2006 3:32:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, mikecarrie01@... writes:

One thing that scares me, though it may be rare so it might be that 'scared of sharks' thing--spend so much time worrying about sharks that you never go in the ocean and don't worry about more common dangers, like driving every day--is being awake and able to feel pain under anesthesia but be paralyzed and not able to move or call out.

Not just sharks but health issues in general. If you spent your time actually looking for signs and symptoms you'd go nuts. That's one reason I skip over a lot of those kinds of articles and such in magazines. There's always some new little twinge they tell you could mean something dire. I've got enough trouble with hypochondria as it is thank you.

[Guest guest]

In some hospitals the patients put on headphones of relaxing music while under the knife and they feel better consciously somehow. No, there's no reason to suffer like that. Never underestimate the human will to live might be a worthy quote. Dr. Kevorkian was a mercy killer and I'd think Clint Eastwood agrees with that concept when it comes down to the worst cases except maybe just a shot of sodium pentathol or a huge dose of adrenaline would be more fun. VISIGOTH@... wrote: In a message dated 5/23/2006 10:23:59 PM Eastern Standard Time, drumthis2001@... writes: The pill you mentioned was proabably valium, am I right? I don't remember what it was. However, if the medicines were meant to block memory, it didn't work exactly right. I remember getting the gas and the world going black. In darkness I stayed for how long I don't know. It was like floating in darkness with no sense of time. At the time I was there for what seemed quite a while, but then when I woke up, it was as if no time had passed at all, nothing more than a blink. As for the surgery though, I remember nothing. I do remember the pain in my throat when I woke up, but it wasn't too terribly bad after a few minutes. That fellow with the cancer reminds me of one reason I hope they never ban firearms. If I ever end up like that where death is certain but theroad slow and painful, I'd be very likely to take a shortcut with a 12 gauge to the head.

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