Re: sleeping issues - help with ABA?????

[Guest guest]

We went through this and did it in baby steps. I would sit with him in bed

and tell him, Mommy is leaving in a few minutes. I will sing you 2 songs. I'd

sing one, we'd play, cuddle whatever. Then I'd tell him I'm singing 1 more

song then I need to go clean up all his toys for tomorrow. I'd sing the song

and he'd want me to stay. I would let him talk me into staying a few more

minutes then I'd leave saying " I'm right in the living room and I will come back

in a few minutes and check on you okay? " I don't know how much he understood

but I say the same thing every night. After a few minutes of cleaning I

would go to his room. If he was calm and not calling me or crying I didn't go

in.

If he was then I would go in and sing or tell him a story standing at his

bedside, not sitting or laying with him. We would continue the process but

each time I went back I stood further from the bed and closer to the door until

finally I was just talking to him sticking my head in the half closed door.

Gradually the amount of time it took me to leave him initially got shorter

and the amount of times I had to go back were less and less. Now I'm out of

there in five minutes and he calls now maybe once and he settles for " Mommy

loves you honey but you need to go to sleep now " shouted from down the hall.

Its hard to hear them cry and get upset, but they really do need to learn

how to calm themselves and put themselves to sleep. More importantly (we learned

this the hard way) they need to learn how to put themselves BACK to sleep if

they wake up in the middle of the night.

Take baby steps. The first few days to a week are rough on both of you but

it will get better.

Kerrie

In a message dated 5/4/2006 12:21:43 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

halniaz@... writes:

> Hi everyone,

> We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now, getting even

> worse with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and the truth is we have

> always been sleeping (or at least I have) together with my 4 year old with

> ASD. The school, ABA center, wants us to think " long term " and have him cry

> it out.... Now I do know, there are medical reasons to his waking, he is

not

> waking to have fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I

> am still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling

> anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because of the

> shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has anyone been down

> this bahavioral extinction route, how did it work, what would you advise???

> I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard decision to

> make but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and physically, my hubby

> and I have no time together AT ALL, I don't know where we are headed if my

> son doesn't start to sleep alone through the night....

>

> Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I would recommend making a gradual process out of it. I definitely wouldn't

just put him in his own bed and let him cry it out. That isn't teaching him

anything except that you will leave him when he needs you. He does need to be

sleeping in his own room. What I would probably try first would be to make sure

he liked his room. Talk about how cool his bed is and how much fun it would be

to sleep there. Maybe read books to him there or playing in there just so he is

used to being in there. A lot depends on how much he understands. Are there

siblings? If others are sleeping in their own beds talking about that could

help. After he is definitely used to being in his room and bed maybe either

trying to put him in there after he falls asleep (with a monitor so you can hear

if he wakes up and is scared) or staying with him until he falls asleep.

An ABA center should understand that our kids may or may not understand what

is happening and scaring them to death isn't the best approach. ABA is based on

teaching something by breaking it down into smaller steps. Teach this as such.

It is a process that can be completed just with smaller steps.

If he is waking up at night giving him something to help him sleep deeper

maybe something to think about. I think it is 5HTP that is helpful for that.

I also have a cool lamp in my boys room. It is lit from behind and has a

moving wall of fish. It is really relaxing and they love to fall asleep

watching it. If one of the boys wake up at night he goes and turns it back on

and goes back to sleep.

Just some off the cuff toughts. Good luck!

aedape4 <aedape4@...> wrote:

Hi everyone,

We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now, getting even worse

with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and the truth is we have always

been sleeping (or at least I have) together with my 4 year old with ASD. The

school, ABA center, wants us to think " long term " and have him cry it out....

Now I do know, there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not waking to have

fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I am still

unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling anxious, or

congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because of the shadows, or

whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has anyone been down this bahavioral

extinction route, how did it work, what would you advise???

I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard decision to make

but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and physically, my hubby and I

have no time together AT ALL, I don't know where we are headed if my son doesn't

start to sleep alone through the night....

Thanks again,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

My son is 3.8 and still sleeps in between me and my husband. It provide him w/

great security. Quite frankly, the sleep issues get far worse if the child

doesn't have that security. I don't think we could ignore real medical issues

that causes night waking and opt for some cruel behavioral modification which

turns most kids to be pretty robotic anyway.

My son has had many night waking issues and he now sleeps well bout 28 nights

out of 30. when he wakes up, it is time to increase the yeast treatment and

it resolves itself. Things we do:

On going gentle yeast treatment

Removal of foods not tolerated

A clean chemical free mostly organic or all natural GFCFSF diet

Viral treatment

supplementing metabolic deficiencies

and we have gained an enormous amount non of which has been coming fro ABA.

Best,

Haleh

--- aedape4 <aedape4@...> wrote:

> Hi everyone,

> We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now, getting even

> worse with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and the truth is we have

> always been sleeping (or at least I have) together with my 4 year old with

> ASD. The school, ABA center, wants us to think " long term " and have him cry

> it out.... Now I do know, there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not

> waking to have fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I

> am still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling

> anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because of the

> shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has anyone been down

> this bahavioral extinction route, how did it work, what would you advise???

> I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard decision to

> make but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and physically, my hubby

> and I have no time together AT ALL, I don't know where we are headed if my

> son doesn't start to sleep alone through the night....

>

> Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi , I am a HUGE proponent of ABA, but ... if he is waking up

3-4 times a night with major physical discomfort, I fail to see how

ABA can possibly help. A behavioral approach only can work if the

underlying reason of whatever is happening is " behavioral " . Often

it's not easy to tell what's behavioral and what's not. That's why

behaviorists run a " functional assesment " to determine when

something happens, what precedes it (antecedents), what is and

should be done to deal with it. Have they asked you to do a

functional assessment first?

If you are sure that your guy is waking up because of

medical/physical/biological/sensory reasons, you must find out what

they are. In the long run, there's no better way than finding and

addressing the main reasons of his disrupted sleeping patterns. Acid

reflux? Too cold, too hot? Yeast? Bad dreams? Hungry? Gas spasms?

Food allergies? Doesn't benadryl help? Maybe homeopathy can clear

his allergies...Are you chelating? Is he on diet?

HAve you tried: 100 mg of 5HTP 2-4 hours before sleep... may help.

Magnesium citrate (500-1000mg) before sleep may help. Others may

have better ideas...

Here's our story, an example of just behavior, without physical

discomfort: We too sleep with our 4.3 year old (have always been and

even now, his bed is in our room) and he now wakes up once a night.

When I comfort him a bit he goes back to sleep. It used to be that

he would wake up multiple times a night and want me to walk him

around. Nothing else would be okay. That was killing me. I started

hugging him and telling him that " it's time to sleep, mommy is

tired, no walking around. " He cried and cried ... I was with him,

hugging him, but I couln't give in to that specific demand anymore

because those getting ups and walking arounds were just becoming

intolerable for me. After three nights or so he understood and

settled for the rocking chair. Now just hugging and a few gentle

pats on the back are enough.

HTH,

Beti

>

> Hi everyone,

> We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now,

getting even worse with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and

the truth is we have always been sleeping (or at least I have)

together with my 4 year old with ASD. The school, ABA center, wants

us to think " long term " and have him cry it out.... Now I do know,

there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not waking to have

fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I am

still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling

anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because

of the shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has

anyone been down this bahavioral extinction route, how did it work,

what would you advise???

> I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard

decision to make but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and

physically, my hubby and I have no time together AT ALL, I don't

know where we are headed if my son doesn't start to sleep alone

through the night....

>

> Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

My son used to wake up every night crying. We found out he had yeast

overgrowth, was constipated, and was in pain. Once we dealt with his yeast

issues, he began sleeping through the night!! When he wakes up now, we know he

is not feeling well. It turns out his stomach hurt so much it was waking him up

at night.

Before we fixed the source of his waking, we tried to let him cry it out.

Clearly it didn't work and by the time I would give in he was so upset that I

couldn't calm him down and I would have to stay up the rest of the night with

him. (Plus, I was very upset). I work full-time so this was very painful for me.

I would make sure that there are no physical issues (ie. pain) before you let

your child cry it out.

Beti <mbdpargun@...> wrote:

Hi , I am a HUGE proponent of ABA, but ... if he is waking up

3-4 times a night with major physical discomfort, I fail to see how

ABA can possibly help. A behavioral approach only can work if the

underlying reason of whatever is happening is " behavioral " . Often

it's not easy to tell what's behavioral and what's not. That's why

behaviorists run a " functional assesment " to determine when

something happens, what precedes it (antecedents), what is and

should be done to deal with it. Have they asked you to do a

functional assessment first?

If you are sure that your guy is waking up because of

medical/physical/biological/sensory reasons, you must find out what

they are. In the long run, there's no better way than finding and

addressing the main reasons of his disrupted sleeping patterns. Acid

reflux? Too cold, too hot? Yeast? Bad dreams? Hungry? Gas spasms?

Food allergies? Doesn't benadryl help? Maybe homeopathy can clear

his allergies...Are you chelating? Is he on diet?

HAve you tried: 100 mg of 5HTP 2-4 hours before sleep... may help.

Magnesium citrate (500-1000mg) before sleep may help. Others may

have better ideas...

Here's our story, an example of just behavior, without physical

discomfort: We too sleep with our 4.3 year old (have always been and

even now, his bed is in our room) and he now wakes up once a night.

When I comfort him a bit he goes back to sleep. It used to be that

he would wake up multiple times a night and want me to walk him

around. Nothing else would be okay. That was killing me. I started

hugging him and telling him that " it's time to sleep, mommy is

tired, no walking around. " He cried and cried ... I was with him,

hugging him, but I couln't give in to that specific demand anymore

because those getting ups and walking arounds were just becoming

intolerable for me. After three nights or so he understood and

settled for the rocking chair. Now just hugging and a few gentle

pats on the back are enough.

HTH,

Beti

>

> Hi everyone,

> We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now,

getting even worse with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and

the truth is we have always been sleeping (or at least I have)

together with my 4 year old with ASD. The school, ABA center, wants

us to think " long term " and have him cry it out.... Now I do know,

there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not waking to have

fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I am

still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling

anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because

of the shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has

anyone been down this bahavioral extinction route, how did it work,

what would you advise???

> I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard

decision to make but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and

physically, my hubby and I have no time together AT ALL, I don't

know where we are headed if my son doesn't start to sleep alone

through the night....

>

> Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

,

I got my ASD son to sleep in his own bed by starting

with twin beds in his room (him in one, me in the

other) and rewarding him for sleeping on his own

through the night and letting him have " cuddle time "

(lying in the same bed) in the morning after a certain

time. And before you transition to sleeping in

separate rooms, you could put a monitor in his room so

you can see him and hear him from your room and he can

call you if he needs you. He will call you a lot at

first, but you can work on this by checking on him at

set intervals and gradually making the intervals

longer and longer, all the time rewarding him for not

calling you between checkups. It's a slow process if

you want to make it less painful for him. My ASD son

has asthma and allergies, worst at night, so I

couldn't just go cold turkey either.

I hope this helps.

mother of Adam

--- aedape4 <aedape4@...> wrote:

> Hi everyone,

> We have been having rough nights for about 3-4

> weeks now, getting even worse with the allergy

> season kicking in (I think) and the truth is we have

> always been sleeping (or at least I have) together

> with my 4 year old with ASD. The school, ABA center,

> wants us to think " long term " and have him cry it

> out.... Now I do know, there are medical reasons to

> his waking, he is not waking to have fun, but I can

> see how a behavioral approach can help. But I am

> still unconfortable leaving him there at night when

> he is feeling anxious, or congested, rubbing his

> eyes, or scared to death because of the shadows, or

> whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has anyone

> been down this bahavioral extinction route, how did

> it work, what would you advise???

> I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is

> such a hard decision to make but we are just wiped

> out, burnt out mentally and physically, my hubby and

> I have no time together AT ALL, I don't know where

> we are headed if my son doesn't start to sleep alone

> through the night....

>

> Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

>>Now I do know, there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not

waking to have fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help.

But I am still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is

feeling anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death

because of the shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is,

has anyone been down this bahavioral extinction route, how did it

work, what would you advise???

For my son, sleep issues were caused by phenol intolerance and yeast

overgrowth

http://www.danasview.net/phenol.htm

http://www.danasview.net/yeast.htm

Until I figured that out, here is what I did to let all of us get more

sleep

http://www.danasview.net/sleep.htm

Dana

[Guest guest]

Hi,

My son used to be up between 9-12 times a night. We had to treat Reflux,

yeast,bowel disease and add tenex (immune syst)clonodine and REI before he slept

thru the night. We do ABA/VB but my personal feeling is - if it's a medical

problem - you have to address those issues first and if lingering habitual

behaviors present then do ABA w/ them... Just my 2 cents.

danasview <danasview@...> wrote:

>>Now I do know, there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not

waking to have fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help.

But I am still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is

feeling anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death

because of the shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is,

has anyone been down this bahavioral extinction route, how did it

work, what would you advise???

For my son, sleep issues were caused by phenol intolerance and yeast

overgrowth

http://www.danasview.net/phenol.htm

http://www.danasview.net/yeast.htm

Until I figured that out, here is what I did to let all of us get more

sleep

http://www.danasview.net/sleep.htm

Dana

=======================================================

[Guest guest]

HI, TRY GIVING HIM MELATONIN AT NIGHT. ALSO GIVING EPSOM SALT BATHS, AT LEAST

30 MINUTES SOAKING TIME RIGHT BEFORE HE GOES TO BED..

HYPERBARIC OXYGEN TREATMENTS CURED MY SONS INSOMNIA. HE SLEPT AFTER THE FIRST

TREATMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 16 YRS. AND HAS BEEN SLEEPING EVERYNIGHT SINCE,

IT'S A MIRACLE... MY HUSBAND AND I HAD TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER ALL OVER AGAIN.

WE USED TO TAKE SHIFTS WITH HIM EVERYNIGHT, AND NOW WE ALL GO TO BED AT THE SAME

TIME...

GOODLUCK,

CORINNE

[ ] sleeping issues - help with ABA?????

Hi everyone,

We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now, getting even worse

with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and the truth is we have always

been sleeping (or at least I have) together with my 4 year old with ASD. The

school, ABA center, wants us to think " long term " and have him cry it out....

Now I do know, there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not waking to have

fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I am still

unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling anxious, or

congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because of the shadows, or

whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has anyone been down this bahavioral

extinction route, how did it work, what would you advise???

I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard decision to

make but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and physically, my hubby and

I have no time together AT ALL, I don't know where we are headed if my son

doesn't start to sleep alone through the night....

Thanks again,

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

With my son whom is 3.5 years...we had many problems getting him to

sleep alone as an infant, toddler etc. We used a technique where I

sat next to his bed quietly on the floor after we went through the

tucking in part. No matter what he said, I would not talk or look.

Just sit. If he got out of bed, I put him back without saying much

and go back to sitting. But we explained that if he wanted mommy to

stay near, he had to stay in bed. As of now, we still have to tuck

him in and sit by him a bit, but then after a few minutes he lets us

go. However, at naptime, I have to lay with him until he is asleep.

We find that at bedtime he gives dad less about going down than me.

So maybe dad should do bedtime for a while. You can give kisses and

be there for story, but then let dad take over. I would explain how

bedtime will work before hand, if he understands. We have a bedtime

chart with pictures showing him each step leading up to the lights

out part. It seems they know which parent is less secure with

leaving them. We do have a nighlight and one of those fish lamps(

looks like swimming fish) on his dresser so it's not too dark. We

leave the door open. You could use a baby monitor to hear him for

night wakings. By no means did I let my son cry or scream. I agree

with you on that one. And I do go to him when he wakes at night or

calls to me. If his concerns are ligit we go in, but if it is to ask

for a millionth snack, we tell him no. Expect some fussing, at

first. After all, he has never slept alone. You may need to start

sneaking out of his bed after he falls asleep for a few nights too.

You may find he sleeps better alone at that age. You may be waking

each other up.

Does he have a hard time falling asleep even when you are there? My

daugher has always been hard to get to sleep, but the first night on

melatonin and she was out in 30 minutes. Keep in mind there is

nothing wrong with comforting him if he is scared or sick. When my

son is sick I do sleep in his room. But we are talking burning up

fever, vomiting sick. If he has a cold, I just make sure his

vaporizer are on, he has chest rub, the monitor etc. But I don't

sleep in there. I know how hard this is to do. But your marriage

will be better for it. You all may sleep better. You need to find

what works for you and your son. This may be sleeping on the floor

for a while next to the bed, then in the hallway, then your own

room. Or it may be explaining to him that mommy needs to sleep in

her own bed now, and how you will help him learn to sleep like a big

boy too.

Good luck. It will pay off once you have gotten through it!!

>

> HI, TRY GIVING HIM MELATONIN AT NIGHT. ALSO GIVING EPSOM SALT

BATHS, AT LEAST 30 MINUTES SOAKING TIME RIGHT BEFORE HE GOES TO BED..

>

> HYPERBARIC OXYGEN TREATMENTS CURED MY SONS INSOMNIA. HE SLEPT

AFTER THE FIRST TREATMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 16 YRS. AND HAS BEEN

SLEEPING EVERYNIGHT SINCE, IT'S A MIRACLE... MY HUSBAND AND I HAD TO

GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER ALL OVER AGAIN. WE USED TO TAKE SHIFTS WITH

HIM EVERYNIGHT, AND NOW WE ALL GO TO BED AT THE SAME TIME...

>

> GOODLUCK,

>

> CORINNE

> [ ] sleeping issues - help with ABA?????

>

>

> Hi everyone,

> We have been having rough nights for about 3-4 weeks now,

getting even worse with the allergy season kicking in (I think) and

the truth is we have always been sleeping (or at least I have)

together with my 4 year old with ASD. The school, ABA center, wants

us to think " long term " and have him cry it out.... Now I do know,

there are medical reasons to his waking, he is not waking to have

fun, but I can see how a behavioral approach can help. But I am

still unconfortable leaving him there at night when he is feeling

anxious, or congested, rubbing his eyes, or scared to death because

of the shadows, or whatever else, so anyhow, my question is, has

anyone been down this bahavioral extinction route, how did it work,

what would you advise???

> I appreciate everyones input in advance! This is such a hard

decision to make but we are just wiped out, burnt out mentally and

physically, my hubby and I have no time together AT ALL, I don't

know where we are headed if my son doesn't start to sleep alone

through the night....

>

> Thanks again,

>

>

> __________________________________________________

>