Tactics

[Guest guest]

After reading the last 20 - 25 messages, I think I see people reaching out for

some real " rubber meets the road " tactics.

I'm not a pro. I have no real advice for anyone, and if I did it would be worth

the money you are paying for it.

Kicking, shoving, yelling in someone's face, climbing on the lifeguard, etc. Try

the golden rule. Think of " how would you like it? " A lot of times it is a demand

for attention, or an expression of anxiety. Some kids yell, some cry, some act

out. All children do something. Some reactions just don't fit the expected norm.

Social cues just don't work. It's like having a 100pc. puzzle of a world map and

having one piece missing, but there's a piece of a flower arrangement. It's a

misfit. In it's own place it's a perfect fit but in there, there's no use for

it. Any child's 100% effort may meet only 90% of the required criteria. 90% of

the puzzle.

I really have to take my hat off to you who are parents. I don't see anyone here

afraid to ask the " dumb question. "

Study. Learn how to advocate. Self Advocacy will go farther than any request

that others do it for you. One reason is that learning what an advocate should

do will give you reasonable and appropriate expectations. Learn as much of their

job as you can. Go to wrightslaw.com. Study the IDEA. Get to know the IEP

process as well as you can. Get intimately familiar with the cases and the court

decisions.

Don't ever forget that the best defense is a good offense. They may not know

that you know what they should be doing, and you have no obligation to let them

know that. When they pull the wool over your eyes, POUNCE like a cat on a

mouse!!! That's when you'll have their attention. Leave them stuttering and

stammering. Don't give an inch. Nothing, and I mean nothing, will get their

attention faster than a virtual skillet upside the head by a frustrated, tired,

and protective mom who really knows her business. Almighty God, in all His

Wisdom, never made a more formidable foe.

Talk with, and ask everything of, everyone. Communicate. Beg. Bug. Bother. It's

your right, and to your child, it's your obligation. Ask. Push. Prod. Shove if

necessary. Don't expect them to give you the answers you need. Get into their

comfort zone, and become a sticker under their saddles. Let them buck, jump,

kick and throw, but don't give up until you have what you need to know.

They will expect you to " know all the answers, " and if you don't know what you

need, they will not tell you how to get it. These people will set projections

and expectations for you. Please remember this: IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO LIVE UP TO

THEIR EXPECTATIONS OR TO FULFIL THEIR PROJECTIONS!!! Set your own projections

and expectations for them. Living up to, and fulfilling them are their jobs.

General Patton said: " No man ever won a war by dying for his country. He won a

war by making the other poor bastard die for his country. " If you have to, go up

against the boards and committees with the same attitude. When you're facing

down some guy who thinks he knows all the tricks, have some of your own never

let him see you sweat. You make him sweat. Make him shivver. Make him wish he

never saw you. But whatever you do, don't back down.

http://wlcdr.everybody.org/whatwedo_learning.htm

http://www.specialeducationadvocacy.com/

http://www.pathowey.com/advice.htm

http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/ltrs/eric_eligibility_disputes.htm

http://www.fape.org/idea/ideaPassed.htm

http://www.acdl.com/What's%20He%20Done%20Now%20web%20siteppt_files/frame.htm

http://www.ed.gov/parents/needs/speced/iepguide/index.html - Guide to the

Individualized Education Program

http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient & aq=t & ie=UTF-8 & rls=GGLR,GGLR:2006\

-34,GGLR:en & q=ieps - IEPs - Google Search

" Never, Never, Never Give Up " - Winston Churchill, 1942 Commencement at RAF

Cambridge

Dave

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