Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 Hi this is Jule, the " newbie " from Berlin, Germany. I think I am getting myself into a real state of chaos by reading toooo many books about kids with AS or HFA. Especially since receiving the diagnosis 2 weeks ago. I am feeling frustrated and disoriented because somehow I don't feel like I have read a book that makes me go, " aha! That's my son! " (like I did when I first read " Upside-Down Brilliance " about visual-spatial learner a couple of years ago, for example). I feel relatively confident that my son is also gifted (he is 5 years old) - so that may be masking or compensating some typical AS symptoms? I don't know. And then I say to myself, " Hey! Every child is an individual. Probably no individual child fits the " generic " child described in books. " Or do they? I suspect my confusion is also refelcted in the diagnosis of " atypical autism " we got. I had the feeling the psychiatrist wasn't so sure himself.... although he said he felt VERY confident that we are looking at " something " on the spectrum. I guess this is nagging so much at me because I am feeling overwhelmed and want to belong somewhere.... which is not like me, really.... somehow I can't seem to let go of trying to pinpoint things more clearly.... Any suggestions or feedback? Jule P.S. Somehow the focus on " impairment in empathy " in the literature is throwing me. If the experts were focussing more on the " sensory integration issues " or " executive function issues " or obsessing or insistence on sameness, then I would relax and say yes, definitiely, we are home. But so many of the experts are saying that it is the " lack of empathy " that is the KEY to the diagnosis. Here, I have to say, my son does not seem to fit. So. That is what is bugging me. My son seems to be VERY sensitive to MY moods. And is able to describe his feelings and mine very poetically! We have a very intense relationship, my son is (now) very physically affectionate, and he also bonds very strongly with other people (his babysitters, for example). I think I DID read somewhere that kids on the spectrum may respond this way to people they are close to but not to people in a more general sense. THIS may be true of my son. Hmmm.... can anybody tell me anything?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 Hi This is Eleanor, another newbie! I find this all interesting too. (8.5 years) is still not very physically affectionate and we certainly have to tell him when he's pushed things too far with (20 months) as he can't seem to tell when his laughter is turning to tears or when he's starting to get fed up or angry. But we have worked a lot on emotions and he can tell you when he's angry now which is a huge step forwards - and occasionally he'll tell you when he's happy which is just lovely! But what we see so often is the extremes of the emotional scale - he's either totally happy or absolutely beside himself with rage. We rarely see a medium. But we've figured out over the years that it's not because he doesn't experience a medium but that he doesn't send US the visual cues to pick it up. You get this blazing anger out of nowhere because you don't get warnings. I've learnt that the pitch of his voice is a very important cue. We call it his chipmonk voice - if it's rising and getting 'tighter' for lack of a better word - then he's heading out of control, whether it be good or bad! We can now warn 'chipmonks' and we all know he needs to take a step back. Also there is the classic cues of him becoming more and more rigid in how things are done, language etc. I had thought we might have got past that but we've recently sold our house and having to move in with my parents until we find something - and boy, have we seen an explosion in AS behaviours! Ones we haven't seen since before I pulled him out of school middle of last year! He's even heavily back into spinning things! However his difficulty in reading people's faces and tapping into emotions served me in good stead about 7 weeks ago. I slipped on the kitchen floor which was wet, and dislocated my shoulder. It was a complete dislocation and the first time I've ever done it. I needed to go to hospital to get it reduced but couldn't raise my husband or family to come and help with the kids. So I had to call an ambulance and take all 3 kids with me to hospital. But while I waited for the ambulance I managed to get all the kids' coats found and shoes sorted and even a back pack of food and toys for the kids - especially who has food allergies! So long as I was able to keep my voice steady and calm sounding was happy to follow all the instructions I gave him to get things ready. I was in extreme pain and was crying. (nearly 6) was really upset because he could see the pain I was in but was calm and happy to do as asked so long as things sounded close to normal. I assured him once I got to hospital I'd be fine and that was enough for him! I don't know what I'd have done without him :-) So in an emergency AS is probably helpful - so long as you can get past it interrupting the routine! set fire to the kitchen when he was 3 and completely ignored it although he told me later he knew there was a fire - because he was watching his tv programes - he was going to tell when his programes had finished!! Eleanor, mummy to (8.5 years, AS), (nearly 6) and (20 months). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 2, 2007 Report Share Posted January 2, 2007 My son (now 17) has empathy and was always huggable! Happy, laughing and huggable, kissable. He would be the first of my 3 sons to ask me if I was OK if something happened (heard me say " ow " or something). If you can find some things to say " aha! " about in what you are learning about autistic traits then you're probably on the right track. I always felt my son had some traits but not enough to fit all the criteria for a diagnosis. He's also gifted by the way. Anyway, as he grew older there were more things that seemed to make him stand out, especially around middle school age (6, 7, 8th grades)...okay, I guess 4th and 5th grade too some, LOL! Quick thoughts! > > Hi this is Jule, the " newbie " from Berlin, Germany. > I think I am getting myself into a real state of chaos by reading toooo many books about > kids with AS or HFA. Especially since receiving the diagnosis 2 weeks ago. I am feeling > frustrated and disoriented because somehow I don't feel like I have read a book that Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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