Re: empathy/ need some feedback!

[Guest guest]

My son is very empathetic, or so it seems. He gets very upset when

people

tease other people. He doesn't like competition, because if he wins,

that means

someone else loses. (But he doesn't like losing, either.) He really

reacts to other

people's moods, too. Maybe with my son, it's the level of

understanding.

He can't grasp that most people are okay with losing when they are

just playing a game for fun.

He is physically affectionate with me, too.

Jackie

ph, on games (and life?)

" I want something where everyone is on the same team, and no one gets

eliminated. "

On Jan 2, 2007, at 10:41 AM, aajumax wrote:

> Jule

> P.S. Somehow the focus on " impairment in empathy " in the

> literature is throwing me. If

> the experts were focussing more on the " sensory integration issues "

> or " executive function

> issues " or obsessing or insistence on sameness, then I would relax

> and say yes, definitiely,

> we are home. But so many of the experts are saying that it is the

> " lack of empathy " that is

> the KEY to the diagnosis. Here, I have to say, my son does not

> seem to fit. So. That is

> what is bugging me. My son seems to be VERY sensitive to MY moods.

> And is able to

> describe his feelings and mine very poetically! We have a very

> intense relationship, my son

> is (now) very physically affectionate, and he also bonds very

> strongly with other people (his

> babysitters, for example). I think I DID read somewhere that kids

> on the spectrum may

> respond this way to people they are close to but not to people in a

> more general sense.

> THIS may be true of my son. Hmmm.... can anybody tell me anything?!

[Guest guest]

OK. That is interesting for me to know! My son does tend to OVER-interpret

emotions.

He definitely picks up pretty sensitively that something is happening for

someone

emotionally, but he usually assumes the intensity to be much more than what the

person

is actually feeling. And he has difficulty handling what he perceives to be

happening in the

other (e.g., he gets very upset if he believes someone is upset). (hmmm...

sounds like his

father.....) So it is perhaps the interpretation/processing/handling of what he

is perceiving

that is the " problem " , not the LACK of perceiving.... ???....

hmm...

I am working on this.....

Thanx for your feedback!!

Jule

>

>

> > Jule

> > P.S. Somehow the focus on " impairment in empathy " in the

> > literature is throwing me. If

> > the experts were focussing more on the " sensory integration issues "

> > or " executive function

> > issues " or obsessing or insistence on sameness, then I would relax

> > and say yes, definitiely,

> > we are home. But so many of the experts are saying that it is the

> > " lack of empathy " that is

> > the KEY to the diagnosis. Here, I have to say, my son does not

> > seem to fit. So. That is

> > what is bugging me. My son seems to be VERY sensitive to MY moods.

> > And is able to

> > describe his feelings and mine very poetically! We have a very

> > intense relationship, my son

> > is (now) very physically affectionate, and he also bonds very

> > strongly with other people (his

> > babysitters, for example). I think I DID read somewhere that kids

> > on the spectrum may

> > respond this way to people they are close to but not to people in a

> > more general sense.

> > THIS may be true of my son. Hmmm.... can anybody tell me anything?!

>

>

>

>