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IM AT THE END OF MY ROPE ... and we just got our AS diagnosis

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Hello everyone! I just joined this group... and I am at my wits end.

First of all, my son is 4 and was diagnosed with AS 2 months ago. Im

lost, hurt, mad, and don't know what to do. There is a world of

knowledge out there, and the fact that I live in a very small central

Illinois town makes all treatment centers/therapists at least 2 hours

away. Hopefully, you all can help a bit.

#1 The violence is scaring me. Remember..he is 4, but he gets very

strong and feels no pain it seems when he is in " that place " . The

look in his eyes are scary. My 7 year old is terrified of him, and to

be honest, I can't say I blame her. He has hurt her many times.

#2 discipline - I have tried absolutely everything before we got the

AS diagnosis. during time out in a chair - he will throw the chair.

So I removed it. Then he would bang himself on the wall or kick it

and has made some indentations in the drywall. I tried spanking - and

this is when I learned that only makes him madder and he comes after

me. He has tried to stab my mother for simply telling him not to bang

his spoon on the table at a restaurant. I have tried the holding

therapy until he calms down. He doesn't calm down. On top of AS he

also has asthma. So when I hold him down and he loses control, he

throws himself into an asthma attack - and everything goes down the drain.

#3 work - how do you all do it? I am having one heck of a time

juggling work and we are just touching the tip of the iceberg with

therapies. If I quit or go down to part time, how do I afford all his

supplements and treatments?? Not to mention bills to survive! Any

help from those who have been through it?

#4 The diet - Lord help me. I am no where near a cook. Any

cookbooks or advice? we have not started this diet yet, I am slowly

implementing things like rice milk etc as I can afford them.

#5 sleep. It is now 4 AM. Im at my wits end. He went to bed at

around 830 and woke up at 1. We have been up ever since. he does not

have outbursts during this time as I have read AS kids can, but he is

wide awake and ready to go. I have had 1 hour of sleep. So now I

struggle with my conscience... Should I sent him to school today or

if I do will I be seen as a monster because he is so tired? How will

I make it through another 1 hour night??? Yes, I am failing at work.

I can not focus and I have ZERO tolerance for anyones stupidity.

Luckily I have FMLA, however it does not pay the bills when I do not

go to work. By the way - we are already taking melatonin.

Sometimes it works like a charm.... but there are nights about 2 times

a week now that we have like this.

Someone help. I know Im not the first parent to go through this...

but I personally know NO ONE. I am isolated because my child is so

out of control I go no where with him for fear of an outburst in the

middle of Walmart or something. Then theres my 7 year old daughter

who is just lost in the commotion somewhere and reaching out for

attention. How do you deal with siblings when your good child begins

getting in trouble at school?? UGH.... where's the light at the end

of the tunnel??

Thanks guys so very much for any and all input.

Amy McCarty

mommy to:

Jordan 7

and

Deacon 4

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