and commenting; Re:Autism Cure, huh?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Kids will only give you as good of performance as they are capable

and you expect. Because Lucas is capable, I expect more. I hear all

the time, he just can't or but he acts like that because of the

autism. It is my job to teach him how to, and how not to act. He

doesn't get the social rules all the time, but he knows he needs to

follow those rules. It is also amzing, how when I ground him for

failing a test, the next week he passes with an A.

Having said that, I do have to remind his teacher that having another

student help him with his tests is not okay. Gee lets see, the 9 year

old boy who likes girls, and the 10 year old cute little

blond...where is his attention? NOT ON HIS TEST! Oi! I don't give in,

bad behavior is still bad and not okay. The other thing we do, is if

he brakes something, he pays for it. He had to replace a TV remote,

and a play station remote and a mouse for the computer. Now..I have

to work on the chore chart and getting him to help more. Pray for

that one! Thanks!

> >

> > Hi Rose,

> >

> > I do know exactly what you mean! My non-autistic nephew gets away

> > with murder at his house with his parents. My sister is a very

lax

> > parent. When I am there...boy is he different. I will correct

him.

> I

> > am comfortable doing it because I told my sister when he was very

> > small, that if he acted out I was not having it...but I did clear

> > that with her long before the issue came up. My son, I think, has

> > pretty darn good manners, but it has taken us almost 10 years to

> get

> > him there. My MIL constantly tells me I am too hard on him. I

> reply

> > with " I expect what he is capable of " . He has learned that social

> > rules are just that, rules, and even if he doen't " get " them,

they

> > are to be followed. We are very lucky with him. My husband and I

> > brainstormed and talked after the diagnosis, and decided that,

> while

> > yes he needs accomidations, we were going to treat him like we

> would

> > a " normal " kid. It has paid off. We accommidate him by no sudden

> > changes, lots of warning, but I still am the homework drill

> sargent.

> > Sorry, getting off topic. My son, he doen't really act out in the

> > stores, because I will ground him from every fun thing he owns,

> and

> > he knows it. If he needs to speak out or be physical, he is

> learning

> > to tell me that he is frustrated or he is mad, and then we work

on

> > breathing and talking it out. Part of that is because I am only 5

> ft

> > 1 and he comes to my nose already, he is 9 1/2! So I guess my

> > statement is bad behavior is partly due to the AS and partly due

> to

> > parenting.

> >

> > I do agree that it is in bad form to comment if you don't know

the

> > family, but if you do, I think commenting, if done right, is

okay.

> I

> > can't imagine having 2 AS kids, but we are having a new baby next

> > year. So maybe it will happen, maybe not. I do know, that my kids

> > will be different, but they will have the same rules to follow.

> >

> >

>