and commenting; Re:Autism Cure, huh?

[Guest guest]

I also hold my kids with asperger's to high standards. I treat them

as typically as possible so they can make it " out there " . But I

still love the innocence, I worry they will be taken advantage of

once in the real world, so we work HARD on life skills and social

skills. I have two good books on it and we do lots of social

stories as needed.

> >

> > Hi Rose,

> >

> > I do know exactly what you mean! My non-autistic nephew gets

away

> > with murder at his house with his parents. My sister is a very

lax

> > parent. When I am there...boy is he different. I will correct

him.

> I

> > am comfortable doing it because I told my sister when he was

very

> > small, that if he acted out I was not having it...but I did

clear

> > that with her long before the issue came up. My son, I think,

has

> > pretty darn good manners, but it has taken us almost 10 years to

> get

> > him there. My MIL constantly tells me I am too hard on him. I

> reply

> > with " I expect what he is capable of " . He has learned that

social

> > rules are just that, rules, and even if he doen't " get " them,

they

> > are to be followed. We are very lucky with him. My husband and I

> > brainstormed and talked after the diagnosis, and decided that,

> while

> > yes he needs accomidations, we were going to treat him like we

> would

> > a " normal " kid. It has paid off. We accommidate him by no sudden

> > changes, lots of warning, but I still am the homework drill

> sargent.

> > Sorry, getting off topic. My son, he doen't really act out in

the

> > stores, because I will ground him from every fun thing he owns,

> and

> > he knows it. If he needs to speak out or be physical, he is

> learning

> > to tell me that he is frustrated or he is mad, and then we work

on

> > breathing and talking it out. Part of that is because I am only

5

> ft

> > 1 and he comes to my nose already, he is 9 1/2! So I guess my

> > statement is bad behavior is partly due to the AS and partly due

> to

> > parenting.

> >

> > I do agree that it is in bad form to comment if you don't know

the

> > family, but if you do, I think commenting, if done right, is

okay.

> I

> > can't imagine having 2 AS kids, but we are having a new baby

next

> > year. So maybe it will happen, maybe not. I do know, that my

kids

> > will be different, but they will have the same rules to follow.

> >

> >

>