and commenting; Re:Autism Cure, huh?

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I like what you said. I, too, hold my kids up to really high

standards. But it is only because I know they will have it harder in

life, so they have to be that much better.

I mean, we aren't beating our kids or anything, but we

are 'teaching' and that is what we need to be doing. I laugh when my

mom says, " Oh poor ... (my son) because he can't do this, or has it

hard! " Ok, maybe I shouldn't laugh, but I keep pushing and having

him become aware of what is and isn't acceptable, and he has made

amazing progress.

Sometimes the comments can be very good, (Especially if done like

you said, in the right way!) Of course then are the ones that come

from people that just see very little, but I am talking the mall, as

your child screams at something or in line while my son 'talks to

much' and I have to regulate him (Like it is a big deal! I regulate

him to teach him!)

I am glad I don't 'give in' like some of the posting I just read.

That would not be good in the case of my boys.

That is one thing I have always done well. We fuss in the store, we

leave. Of course, I also say, you want something, save your money.

LOL

Isn't it nice when we can work so hard with our kids, that

sometimes, they are more well behaved than our NT relatives (the

children, that is!)?? I love that!

*grin*

>

> Hi Rose,

>

> I do know exactly what you mean! My non-autistic nephew gets away

> with murder at his house with his parents. My sister is a very lax

> parent. When I am there...boy is he different. I will correct him.

I

> am comfortable doing it because I told my sister when he was very

> small, that if he acted out I was not having it...but I did clear

> that with her long before the issue came up. My son, I think, has

> pretty darn good manners, but it has taken us almost 10 years to

get

> him there. My MIL constantly tells me I am too hard on him. I

reply

> with " I expect what he is capable of " . He has learned that social

> rules are just that, rules, and even if he doen't " get " them, they

> are to be followed. We are very lucky with him. My husband and I

> brainstormed and talked after the diagnosis, and decided that,

while

> yes he needs accomidations, we were going to treat him like we

would

> a " normal " kid. It has paid off. We accommidate him by no sudden

> changes, lots of warning, but I still am the homework drill

sargent.

> Sorry, getting off topic. My son, he doen't really act out in the

> stores, because I will ground him from every fun thing he owns,

and

> he knows it. If he needs to speak out or be physical, he is

learning

> to tell me that he is frustrated or he is mad, and then we work on

> breathing and talking it out. Part of that is because I am only 5

ft

> 1 and he comes to my nose already, he is 9 1/2! So I guess my

> statement is bad behavior is partly due to the AS and partly due

to

> parenting.

>

> I do agree that it is in bad form to comment if you don't know the

> family, but if you do, I think commenting, if done right, is okay.

I

> can't imagine having 2 AS kids, but we are having a new baby next

> year. So maybe it will happen, maybe not. I do know, that my kids

> will be different, but they will have the same rules to follow.

>

>