Re: mom diagnosis/sibling bullying

[Guest guest]

To a degree we do have some bullying issues here. My youngest (10) is

antagonistic, and mean. Now that we have him on medication for adhd he is a

little better. But I have to remind my children that home is supposed to be a

safe haven from the world. I tell them that it is bad enough that you have to be

picked on school, I wont tolerate it at home. My boys especially like to tease

because she is over weight. That is something I wont tolerate at home.

They often remind me of my brother a year younger than me. He was a bully too.

Since my kids are all so close in age, sometimes I just let them " deal with

it " , and they know if your gonna dish it out, you better be ready to pay the

consequences!!

luvmy2arabians <luvmy2arabians@...> wrote:

I totally agree! The diagnosis allowed me to understand my 4yo ds

and to fall in love with him all over again. Although he frustrates

me beyond belief and wears me out.... I can now understand the

" whys " and the blame for his behavior has left my shoulders.

My problem is the bully lives with us. My dd is 7 and is a smarta$$

bully. She knows how to push his buttons and does so regularly. Im

not sure how to deal with her, as I have talked to her, taken her to

support groups, read childrens books to her about autism, and she

" understands " but then turns around and does somethin glike look at

him crosseyed or mock him. Then she wonders why he turns around and

hits her or bites her??!!!! thats when you go... DUH )

Anyone else go though the sibling bullying?

>

> I was out on Saturday and have enjoyed catching up with my email.

This is a

> wonderful group! My son was 6 when we received the diagnosis from the

> school contracted Psychiatrist. I have been concerned since he was

about 3

> years old, but was brushed off by several doctors telling me I

needed to be

> firmer. My thirteen year old remembers the look from one doctor and his

> insistence that I was not being firm enough - she said he was dumb and

> didn't know what he was talking about. My son likes to lick things.

If he

> is severely stressed, he will lick other people, tables, etc. He

likes to

> lick his plate and the inside of glasses. One doctor commented on his

> opening up the water cup and licking the inside. He also demonstrated

> perfect pedantic speech in describing at great length the difference

in the

> crispness and freshness of the cold water from the left tap of the water

> cooler in relation to the cold water from the right tap. The doctor was

> baffled and looked at me like he was a bit crazy - I smiled knowing

that she

> was no Einstein. Several doctors have discussed the ADHD symptoms

they see

> in the office, but seem to think it is simply a question of whether

or not

> to medicate.

>

>

>

> My son is the only boy. He is the fourth child and plays so well

with his

> sister who is closest to him - 2 years older. What I didn't realize

until

> we started working harder on structure and school required for first

grade,

> was that my daughter has the patience of a saint and had been

accommodating

> him in their play.

>

>

>

> He was diagnosed in December. Since then, both his Psychologist and the

> developmental pediatrician have said that I should defend him

immediately

> and limit his contact with the " rude " adults when possible. This is

easier

> said than done, at times. The first person was my husband's brother

in law,

> commonly known as meathead behind closed doors. Meathead bullied my

son by

> taking a toy and refusing to return it until he asked nicely. He

also hit my

> NT nephew in the head with a pool cue, not hard, but not

appropriate. I'm

> not taking ds to the family beach trip this summer. The second

person was

> my dear sweet father, who has apologized and prayed for forgiveness for

> mocking ds during a meltdown over family picture taking stress. Both my

> brother and sister in law spoke to him about ds independently. They

laid

> the groundwork of support regarding the autistic spectrum theory.

AND the

> soccer coach was not professional. I documented that behavior in a

letter

> to him, his boss, and was positive up until the day we walked off

the field,

> never to play with that league again. I know he didn't like the letter,

> because I was cheering one day for the girl making a goal and heard him

> mocking me TO ANOTHER parent - who looked bad then?

>

>

>

> We were becoming frustrated with my son. It was difficult to go

anywhere.

> The diagnosis has given me a gift - I've fallen in love with him

again. He

> is smart and a delight. He draws amazing pictures and tells funny

stories.

> We all are a bit less stressed about his behavior and more firm with

limits

> where we can be. He wears us all out, but I love to see him succeed and

> know he will. AND I really don't care what the judging outside world

thinks

> as much anymore.

>

>

>

> Helen

>

> _____

>

> From:

> [mailto: ] On Behalf Of Roxanna

> Sent: Saturday, February 17, 2007 8:59 AM

>

> Subject: Re: ( ) mom diagnosis

>

>

>

> Well, that was really rude! Did you say something or just glare?

> Our oldest dd had been dx'd with learning problems first. We knew

there was

> something going on with our ds. I kept asking the doctor but he just

blew me

> off. I figured he had severe ADHD. He later was tested and dx'd with

HFA.

> The autism was a big surprise to me. When our second ds wasn't

talking by

> age one and not playing with toys like a typical child, we knew

there was a

> problem. By age two, we knew he had autism. The dev. doc wanted to wait

> until he was three before he evaluated him. So we waited, but

meanwhile we

> went forward finding therapy and such for him.

>

> Roxanna

> ( ) mom diagnosis

>

> I am curious how many of you diagnosed your child ahead of the

> professionals. My son's behaviors combined with adult reactions made

> his Aspergers clear to me. At soccer, my son grew tired and became a

> dinosaur roaring up and down the field with an outstretched claw. You

> should have seen the coach's reaction. This is the same coach that

> mimicked my son's rumblings behind his back, but in front of me!

>

>

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