Guest guest Posted February 9, 2007 Report Share Posted February 9, 2007 Hi All, I've belonged to this group for an hour now and need help. I'm the mother of three boys. My 11 yo has been Dx with ADHD, tested " Highly Gifted " recently...and has Asperger tendencies. My 7yo old is (THANK GOD) a quiet, well mannered little boy. My 4yo has speech and language delays and autisum (sp) has been brought up. I will be going back to being a SAHM at the end of May, but I'm having a heck of a time (to say the least) just keeping things together lately. I NEED some ideas on how to RELAX and keep going without being a BEAR to the family. I am the personal assisant to everyone, my boss, husband and the children and today is a " bad " day for me. I live in Alaska and am having a hard time finding resources applicable to having children that are all over the SpEd spectrum. My husband tries, but doesn't seem to understand. I too attend all the appointments, am the first contact with the teachers and doctors, maintain structure in the house and don't seem to have the time to just " chill out " . I'm feeling a little insane....I think, we are going to have " kid food " tonight and just watch a movie. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Trying to stay positive. - Richelle Anchorage, Alaska Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 9, 2007 Report Share Posted February 9, 2007 Welcome Richelle! Sounds like you have your hands full! I can relate. I'm afraid I cant offer too much advice on finding services but I can tell you that this is a great group and I'm sure someone will have some information :-) Having Kid food and watching a movie sounds like a great way to start the weekend :-) Are you happy to be returning to SAHM status? We have recently chatted about happy pills, and you could probably look it up on the files...but know you are not alone...Sometimes I go into our bathroom just to get a quiet moment and if my little one comes in all I have to do is pick up the blow dryer and she takes off...funny how their issues can be used to our advantage when needed! Hang in there, - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID ( ) Newbie Introduction Hi All, I've belonged to this group for an hour now and need help. I'm the mother of three boys. My 11 yo has been Dx with ADHD, tested " Highly Gifted " recently...and has Asperger tendencies. My 7yo old is (THANK GOD) a quiet, well mannered little boy. My 4yo has speech and language delays and autisum (sp) has been brought up. I will be going back to being a SAHM at the end of May, but I'm having a heck of a time (to say the least) just keeping things together lately. I NEED some ideas on how to RELAX and keep going without being a BEAR to the family. I am the personal assisant to everyone, my boss, husband and the children and today is a " bad " day for me. I live in Alaska and am having a hard time finding resources applicable to having children that are all over the SpEd spectrum. My husband tries, but doesn't seem to understand. I too attend all the appointments, am the first contact with the teachers and doctors, maintain structure in the house and don't seem to have the time to just " chill out " . I'm feeling a little insane....I think, we are going to have " kid food " tonight and just watch a movie. Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. Trying to stay positive. - Richelle Anchorage, Alaska Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2007 Report Share Posted February 10, 2007 Funny you should mention the bathroom as your retreat. That's where I go to get away from it all and they STILL come knocking on the door. (They have radar)..Last night I took some epsom salts, calgon and made me a hot bath to relax and a magazine, candles, a class of crystal light and relaxed. I was so relaxed then I got out and 'they' had a meltdown over whose turn it was on the computer and I am the one with the whistle and black and white stripped shirt apparently.. How does one referee when they are throwing things at each other in MY room? So much for relaxing... Toni ( ) Newbie Introduction > > > Hi All, > > I've belonged to this group for an hour now and need help. > > I'm the mother of three boys. My 11 yo has been Dx with ADHD, tested > " Highly Gifted " recently...and has Asperger tendencies. My 7yo old is > (THANK GOD) a quiet, well mannered little boy. My 4yo has speech and > language delays and autisum (sp) has been brought up. > > I will be going back to being a SAHM at the end of May, but I'm having > a heck of a time (to say the least) just keeping things together > lately. I NEED some ideas on how to RELAX and keep going without being > a BEAR to the family. I am the personal assisant to everyone, my boss, > husband and the children and today is a " bad " day for me. > > I live in Alaska and am having a hard time finding resources > applicable to having children that are all over the SpEd spectrum. > > My husband tries, but doesn't seem to understand. I too attend all the > appointments, am the first contact with the teachers and doctors, > maintain structure in the house and don't seem to have the time to > just " chill out " . I'm feeling a little insane....I think, we are going > to have " kid food " tonight and just watch a movie. > > Any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated. > > Trying to stay positive. > > - Richelle > Anchorage, Alaska > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 10, 2007 Report Share Posted February 10, 2007 WOW...a hot bath...how nice :-) We moved into our new home in April...new to us at least...and I have only managed 1 hot bath....and its a Jacuzzi...maybe I need to make some time! What works with us in those type situations is.... We don't do " ____ " in Mommy's room, if you want to " _____ " you need to go in your room to do it. We have used that type of response for a whole variety of things and it seems to work. We do not allow our youngest (the oldest 2 are to old for such) to " be ugly " to anyone or in general and if she is " being ugly " We tell her " if you want to be ugly you need to go to your room and be ugly " She is compliant about it and she will go in her room and fuss or whatever for a few minutes and then start playing, we still use the baby monitors so we can hear her. We have told her in the past and now she knows that when she is done and happy/calm she can come out. I fear this may not last forever but it works now :-) As I hear so many other issues I do worry that we are only at the beginning, because she is so young and...oh my what a long road ahead. - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction Funny you should mention the bathroom as your retreat. That's where I go to get away from it all and they STILL come knocking on the door. (They have radar)..Last night I took some epsom salts, calgon and made me a hot bath to relax and a magazine, candles, a class of crystal light and relaxed. I was so relaxed then I got out and 'they' had a meltdown over whose turn it was on the computer and I am the one with the whistle and black and white stripped shirt apparently.. How does one referee when they are throwing things at each other in MY room? So much for relaxing... Toni Recent Activity a.. 31New Members b.. 7New Photos Visit Your Group TV Staying in tonight? Check Daily Picks & see what to watch. New web site? Drive traffic now. Get your business on search. Start a group in 3 easy steps. Connect with others. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 I tell him that and he says he will commit suicide if I make him go to the hospital...sigh and when he is holding a big butcher knife I'm afraid it is more likely gonna to be homicide (mine)Thanks, Liz.. I'm going to let my dh rest after his 9 day trip then we are going to have to sit down and give them some choices. I told my dh something has got to change. They openly defy me when I tell them to do something, I'm afraid to take away the computer because they will rage and I'm afraid of the consequences( see above) They cuss me and then turn around and say I love you, will you fix me something to eat? I feel almost like I am abused and told my dh they gotta change the way they treat me, you gotta help me or I'm leaving to go live with my cousin in Fl... Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > Dear Toni, > > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in this > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, I'm > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. > Hang in there. > > Take care, > Liz > > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: > >> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a >> prisoner >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they >> refused >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was >> taunting the >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up >> in the >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah >> wouldn't just >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. >> n >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in >> my room >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, >> I didn't >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't >> go to >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up but I >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school >> and he >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them >> because they >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm >> TIRED >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and >> hiding in my >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... >> ----- Original Message ----- >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Toni, you ARE being abused. Sitting down with your dh is a good idea, but I think it is IMPERATIVE for the two of you to meet with a therapist to discuss this situation, and perhaps, once you have discussed the situation and strategized for a bit, you might decide to do some family therapy. I don't honestly see how they can live at home and continue to abuse you in this way. It's a safety issue for you and them. A friend of mine had her son taken away by the police in handcuffs because he was suicidal. It nearly broke her heart, but he just wasn't safe. He was yanking her chain and threatening suicide all the time. She figured it was time to take him seriously. I'm worried about you. Please see a therapist with your dh. Take care, Liz On Feb 12, 2007, at 12:12 PM, Toni wrote: > > I tell him that and he says he will commit suicide if I make him go > to the > hospital...sigh and when he is holding a big butcher knife I'm > afraid it is > more likely gonna to be homicide (mine)Thanks, Liz.. I'm going to > let my dh > rest after his 9 day trip then we are going to have to sit down and > give > them some choices. I told my dh something has got to change. They > openly > defy me when I tell them to do something, I'm afraid to take away the > computer because they will rage and I'm afraid of the consequences > ( see > above) They cuss me and then turn around and say I love you, will > you fix me > something to eat? I feel almost like I am abused and told my dh > they gotta > change the way they treat me, you gotta help me or I'm leaving to > go live > with my cousin in Fl... > Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > > > Dear Toni, > > > > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say > > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in > this > > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where > > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your > > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, > I'm > > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the > > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. > > Hang in there. > > > > Take care, > > Liz > > > > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: > > > >> > >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a > >> prisoner > >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they > >> refused > >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was > >> taunting the > >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up > >> in the > >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah > >> wouldn't just > >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. > >> n > >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in > >> my room > >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, > >> I didn't > >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't > >> go to > >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up > but I > >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school > >> and he > >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them > >> because they > >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm > >> TIRED > >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and > >> hiding in my > >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... > >> ----- Original Message ----- > >> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Thank you, . I am happy about going back to being a SAHM. I think having one less person to look after (my boss) will be a great help. With us moving soon (Mid-April), the school situation still needs to be ironed out. My boys may be in three different schools in a neighboring town because I don't feel the local school is appropriate for children coming from a christian school setting. The " Kid Food " and movie worked as planned. ) As for the " happy pills " , I have a Rx for Welbutrin (sp)and as of Saturday I started taking them again. Had I good weekend. Thanks to everyone for there support " on " and " off " group. I am actually thinking about starting a support group after we move. - Richelle Anchorage, Alaska > > Welcome Richelle! > Sounds like you have your hands full! I can relate. > I'm afraid I cant offer too much advice on finding services but I can tell you that this is a great group and I'm sure someone will have some information :-) > Having Kid food and watching a movie sounds like a great way to start the weekend :-) > Are you happy to be returning to SAHM status? We have recently chatted about happy pills, and you could probably look it up on the files...but know you are not alone...Sometimes I go into our bathroom just to get a quiet moment and if my little one comes in all I have to do is pick up the blow dryer and she takes off...funny how their issues can be used to our advantage when needed! > Hang in there, > - C. > Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Toni, I think you are being abused by your children, and it will not help them to let it go on.....they will also abuse their wives and children some day if they do not get the help they need. Get some emergency counseling immediately, or have them removed from the home to go somewhere else where they can recieve the help they need. Meanwhile Toni you need counseling too, to find out how they ended up as the boss of the house, and how you can get back your parenting role and stop living in fear... {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}} tanna Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > Dear Toni, > > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in this > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, I'm > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. > Hang in there. > > Take care, > Liz > > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: > >> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a >> prisoner >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they >> refused >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was >> taunting the >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up >> in the >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah >> wouldn't just >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. >> n >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in >> my room >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, >> I didn't >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't >> go to >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up but I >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school >> and he >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them >> because they >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm >> TIRED >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and >> hiding in my >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... >> ----- Original Message ----- >> > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Toni, Please follow through with talking to your husband and making some changes. I am very worried for you and agree with Liz. - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > > > Dear Toni, > > > > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say > > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in > this > > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where > > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your > > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, > I'm > > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the > > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. > > Hang in there. > > > > Take care, > > Liz > > > > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: > > > >> > >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a > >> prisoner > >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they > >> refused > >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was > >> taunting the > >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up > >> in the > >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah > >> wouldn't just > >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. > >> n > >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in > >> my room > >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, > >> I didn't > >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't > >> go to > >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up > but I > >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school > >> and he > >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them > >> because they > >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm > >> TIRED > >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and > >> hiding in my > >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... > >> ----- Original Message ----- > >> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Hi Richelle, What type of school is in the town your moving to? - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction Thank you, . I am happy about going back to being a SAHM. I think having one less person to look after (my boss) will be a great help. With us moving soon (Mid-April), the school situation still needs to be ironed out. My boys may be in three different schools in a neighboring town because I don't feel the local school is appropriate for children coming from a christian school setting. The " Kid Food " and movie worked as planned. ) As for the " happy pills " , I have a Rx for Welbutrin (sp)and as of Saturday I started taking them again. Had I good weekend. Thanks to everyone for there support " on " and " off " group. I am actually thinking about starting a support group after we move. - Richelle Anchorage, Alaska > > Welcome Richelle! > Sounds like you have your hands full! I can relate. > I'm afraid I cant offer too much advice on finding services but I can tell you that this is a great group and I'm sure someone will have some information :-) > Having Kid food and watching a movie sounds like a great way to start the weekend :-) > Are you happy to be returning to SAHM status? We have recently chatted about happy pills, and you could probably look it up on the files...but know you are not alone...Sometimes I go into our bathroom just to get a quiet moment and if my little one comes in all I have to do is pick up the blow dryer and she takes off...funny how their issues can be used to our advantage when needed! > Hang in there, > - C. > Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 12, 2007 Report Share Posted February 12, 2007 Hi Richelle, What type of school is in the town your moving to? - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction Thank you, . I am happy about going back to being a SAHM. I think having one less person to look after (my boss) will be a great help. With us moving soon (Mid-April), the school situation still needs to be ironed out. My boys may be in three different schools in a neighboring town because I don't feel the local school is appropriate for children coming from a christian school setting. The " Kid Food " and movie worked as planned. ) As for the " happy pills " , I have a Rx for Welbutrin (sp)and as of Saturday I started taking them again. Had I good weekend. Thanks to everyone for there support " on " and " off " group. I am actually thinking about starting a support group after we move. - Richelle Anchorage, Alaska > > Welcome Richelle! > Sounds like you have your hands full! I can relate. > I'm afraid I cant offer too much advice on finding services but I can tell you that this is a great group and I'm sure someone will have some information :-) > Having Kid food and watching a movie sounds like a great way to start the weekend :-) > Are you happy to be returning to SAHM status? We have recently chatted about happy pills, and you could probably look it up on the files...but know you are not alone...Sometimes I go into our bathroom just to get a quiet moment and if my little one comes in all I have to do is pick up the blow dryer and she takes off...funny how their issues can be used to our advantage when needed! > Hang in there, > - C. > Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Hi , Little info...We are moving from the largest city in the state, Anchorage (300,000 residents), back to the smaller farming community about 50 miles north, where my husband and I grew up (30,000 residents). The area consists of two towns that are 13 miles apart and growing together. We will be zoned for a local Jr. High that I have always known to be alittle " rougher " than the three other Jr Highs in " the Valley " . It was confirmed when I started my research and found the schools website and the mission statement: " Wasilla Middle School is a partnership of students, parents, staff, and the community dedicated to a safe and motivating environment where all can be healthy, successful, life-long learners. " I worry if the word " safe " has to be in the mission statement. My main concern is for my ds (11yo/ADHD/HG/AS?). He is in 6th grader and needs to be in some type of gifted program. I think some of our problems would lessen if he wasn't bored in class...until last month he was reading during math and English. The LAST thing I want him to have to worry about is BULLIES, he has enough problems keeping his " stuff " together as it is. In my research so far, the best program for him is in Palmer 13 miles away. As for my ds (7yo/NT) it looks like our church will have space available to open a Catholic School for the 07/08 school year and if the cirriculum blends well with Abeka...he will attend there. AND for my baby (4yo/SLD/HFA?)... He needs a good SpEd preschool or I will be homeschooling him and outsourcing the speech therapy. So it looks like the boys will be in three schools in two towns. Any juggling suggestions?? ) - Richelle Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser. Anchorage, Alaska > > Hi Richelle, > What type of school is in the town your moving to? > - C. > Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 14, 2007 Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 I would recommend you contact your local Parent Information Training Center. Pam PARENT TRAINING AND INFORMATION PROJECT Faye Nieto, Executive Director P.A.R.E.N.T.S., Inc. 4743 E. Northern Lights Boulevard Anchorage, AK 99508 (907) 337-7678 (V/TTY) (800) 478-7678 (in AK only) E-mail: _parents@..._ (mailto:parents@...) URL: _http://www.alaska.net/~parents_ (http://www.alaska.net/~parents/) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 I totally agree with everything Liz wrote. Please listen to her! Roxanna Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > > > Dear Toni, > > > > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say > > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in > this > > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where > > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your > > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, > I'm > > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the > > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. > > Hang in there. > > > > Take care, > > Liz > > > > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: > > > >> > >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a > >> prisoner > >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they > >> refused > >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was > >> taunting the > >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up > >> in the > >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah > >> wouldn't just > >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. > >> n > >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in > >> my room > >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, > >> I didn't > >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't > >> go to > >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up > but I > >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school > >> and he > >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them > >> because they > >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm > >> TIRED > >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and > >> hiding in my > >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... > >> ----- Original Message ----- > >> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Richelle, The word " safe " would worry me there too. Kind of a " was there a question that it wasn't? " moment. As for kids in different schools, my advice is to close your eyes and live through it. lol. I've had all 4 kids here in 4 different schools within my own district. That was stressful for a few years. But I just took one issue at a time and got through it. Good luck! Roxanna Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction Hi , Little info...We are moving from the largest city in the state, Anchorage (300,000 residents), back to the smaller farming community about 50 miles north, where my husband and I grew up (30,000 residents). The area consists of two towns that are 13 miles apart and growing together. We will be zoned for a local Jr. High that I have always known to be alittle " rougher " than the three other Jr Highs in " the Valley " . It was confirmed when I started my research and found the schools website and the mission statement: " Wasilla Middle School is a partnership of students, parents, staff, and the community dedicated to a safe and motivating environment where all can be healthy, successful, life-long learners. " I worry if the word " safe " has to be in the mission statement. My main concern is for my ds (11yo/ADHD/HG/AS?). He is in 6th grader and needs to be in some type of gifted program. I think some of our problems would lessen if he wasn't bored in class...until last month he was reading during math and English. The LAST thing I want him to have to worry about is BULLIES, he has enough problems keeping his " stuff " together as it is. In my research so far, the best program for him is in Palmer 13 miles away. As for my ds (7yo/NT) it looks like our church will have space available to open a Catholic School for the 07/08 school year and if the cirriculum blends well with Abeka...he will attend there. AND for my baby (4yo/SLD/HFA?)... He needs a good SpEd preschool or I will be homeschooling him and outsourcing the speech therapy. So it looks like the boys will be in three schools in two towns. Any juggling suggestions?? ) - Richelle Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser. Anchorage, Alaska > > Hi Richelle, > What type of school is in the town your moving to? > - C. > Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ No virus found in this incoming message. Checked by AVG Free Edition. Version: 7.1.411 / Virus Database: 268.17.37/682 - Release Date: 2/12/2007 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Thanks Pam, I tried to call them last week and their phone is shut off. After talking to some other organizations, looking for a more advanced parenting group, I was told they lost their funding and " there isn't much going on there lately " I have been looking into starting a parenting group to support parents that need more eduation, support and resources above and beyond " the basics " . - Richelle 29yo,Anchorage,Alaska Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser > > I would recommend you contact your local Parent Information Training Center. > Pam > > > PARENT TRAINING AND INFORMATION PROJECT > Faye Nieto, Executive Director > P.A.R.E.N.T.S., Inc. > 4743 E. Northern Lights Boulevard > Anchorage, AK 99508 > (907) 337-7678 (V/TTY) > (800) 478-7678 (in AK only) > E-mail: _parents@..._ (mailto:parents@...) > URL: _http://www.alaska.net/~parents_ (http://www.alaska.net/~parents/) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Yep... my thought yesterday was: " When the crap gets too deep sometimes all you can do is doggy paddle. " LOL You can see how MY day was going!!! - Richelle > > Richelle, > The word " safe " would worry me there too. Kind of a " was there a question that it wasn't? " moment. > As for kids in different schools, my advice is to close your eyes and live through it. lol. I've had all 4 kids here in 4 different schools within my own district. That was stressful for a few years. But I just took one issue at a time and got through it. Good luck! > > Roxanna > Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > > > Hi , > > Little info...We are moving from the largest city in the state, > Anchorage (300,000 residents), back to the smaller farming community > about 50 miles north, where my husband and I grew up (30,000 > residents). The area consists of two towns that are 13 miles apart and > growing together. We will be zoned for a local Jr. High that I have > always known to be alittle " rougher " than the three other Jr Highs in > " the Valley " . It was confirmed when I started my research and found > the schools website and the mission statement: > > " Wasilla Middle School is a partnership of students, parents, staff, > and the community dedicated to a safe and motivating environment where > all can be healthy, successful, life-long learners. " > > I worry if the word " safe " has to be in the mission statement. > > My main concern is for my ds (11yo/ADHD/HG/AS?). He is in 6th grader > and needs to be in some type of gifted program. I think some of our > problems would lessen if he wasn't bored in class...until last month > he was reading during math and English. The LAST thing I want him to > have to worry about is BULLIES, he has enough problems keeping his > " stuff " together as it is. In my research so far, the > best program for him is in Palmer 13 miles away. > > As for my ds (7yo/NT) it looks like our church will have space > available to open a Catholic School for the 07/08 school year and if > the cirriculum blends well with Abeka...he will attend there. > > AND for my baby (4yo/SLD/HFA?)... He needs a good SpEd preschool or I > will be homeschooling him and outsourcing the speech therapy. > > So it looks like the boys will be in three schools in two towns. > > Any juggling suggestions?? ) > > - Richelle > > Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser. > Anchorage, Alaska > > > > > Hi Richelle, > > What type of school is in the town your moving to? > > - C. > > Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID > > > > > > > > > ------------------------------------------------------------------------------ > > > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG Free Edition. > Version: 7.1.411 / Virus Database: 268.17.37/682 - Release Date: 2/12/2007 > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 I have two children, 14yo daughter with AS and 9yo son with ADHD. They are as opposite as oil and vinegar. I know if I did not intervene they would seriously harm each other. I have a sister who has a 15yo son who is extremely gifted and turns out he is bipolar. He too picked up a knife for his family and threatened to commit suicide. Unfortunately, my sister didn't have him hospitalized and he actually ended up punching her in the face and has become physically abusive. The physically aggressive boys are hard to deal with because it's a fine line between understanding them, loving them, and setting your foot down without pushing them over the edge. Take care > > > >> > >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a > >> prisoner > >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they > >> refused > >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was > >> taunting the > >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up > >> in the > >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah > >> wouldn't just > >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. > >> n > >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in > >> my room > >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, > >> I didn't > >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't > >> go to > >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up but I > >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school > >> and he > >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them > >> because they > >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm > >> TIRED > >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and > >> hiding in my > >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... > >> ----- Original Message ----- > >> > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 15, 2007 Report Share Posted February 15, 2007 Hi. These two are options to try also. Pam Alaska Alaska Parent Training and Information Center at Stone Soup Group 3350 Commercial Drive, Suite 100 Anchorage, AK 99501 907-561-3701 Voice 907-561-3702 FAX E-mail: _jaysons@..._ (mailto:jaysons@...) Website: _www.stonesoupgroup.org_ (http://www.stonesoupgroup.org/) Alaska (CPRC) LINKS Mat-Su Parent Resource Center 6177 East Mountain Way, Suite 3 Palmer, AK 99645-8442 907-373-3632 Voice 907-373-3620 FAX E-mail: _linksdf@..._ (mailto:linksdf@...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 16, 2007 Report Share Posted February 16, 2007 Wow!!!! Thanks Pam I just scanned the stone soup website it looks FANTASTIC!! AND the Mat-Su Resource Center will be great once we get out there perminently. The " Paper Trail " notebook is a great idea for keeping everyone on the same page. I often find myself forgetting vital information trying to keep the school district audiologist, his ENT and SpEd Preschool teacher all on the same page. You are a blessing. - Richelle 29yo,Anchorage,Alaska Personal Assistant, Chauffeur and Automatic Treat Dispenser > Hi. These two are options to try also. Pam > Alaska > > Alaska Parent Training and Information Center at Stone Soup Group > 3350 Commercial Drive, Suite 100 > Anchorage, AK 99501 > 907-561-3701 Voice > 907-561-3702 FAX > E-mail: _jaysons@..._ (mailto:jaysons@...) > Website: _www.stonesoupgroup.org_ (http://www.stonesoupgroup.org/) > Alaska (CPRC) > LINKS Mat-Su Parent Resource Center > 6177 East Mountain Way, Suite 3 > Palmer, AK 99645-8442 > 907-373-3632 Voice > 907-373-3620 FAX > E-mail: _linksdf@..._ (mailto:linksdf@...) > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 24, 2007 Report Share Posted February 24, 2007 Well, my dh was home and once again I told him we need to go to family therapy and they need to stop abusing me verbally and threatening me. He is a great ostrich if you know what I mean. n has decided to get his GED and quit school. Everything was hunky dorey while he was home, so he doesn't GET IT! I'm thinking of carrying around a tape recorder so he can hear how things are when he is not around. n has promised the next time he loses it with Noah he will come to me and try not to get pi**ed if Noah doesn't listen to me.My problem is they both blame me for not being able to control the other one. By the way, both of my boys have been taken off in handcuffs and leg irons to the state mental hosp and they didn't even cry, I was about to have a nervous breakdown. This was 2 years ago. n was threatening suicide everytime I told him he couldn't do something so I took them both to the ER and demanded they " DO SOMETHING " to help them and me. They ended up being taken in a sheriffs car to the hosp and brought Noah home later that night and kept n 5 days. My dh is sick of hearing me talk about aspergers and the boys. He thinks I am obsessed with them and aspergers. He doesn't understand that I don't want them to end up like their half-brother who was bipolar and OD'd a year ago. He is the king of DENIAL...(my DH)... I am going to find someone I can talk to, I already am on meds to help with my depression and anxiety, I just need to get some feedback and help on how to deal with them when dh is out of town... Thanks to all for your concern. I have not written back about this before now because dh was home. We shall see how these next 9 days turn out without him around...Hopefully without the pressure of school n will be more calm and less anxious and aggressive... I'm sure you'll see another vent if things don't go well... Thanks again everyone for your concern, this group is the best support and I thank God you are all here and understand.. I wish we could all create our own state and schools so that the WHOLE state would understand, support our kids. OK back to reality now... Toni who is rambling... Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction >> >> > Dear Toni, >> > >> > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say >> > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in >> this >> > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where >> > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your >> > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, >> I'm >> > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the >> > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. >> > Hang in there. >> > >> > Take care, >> > Liz >> > >> > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: >> > >> >> >> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a >> >> prisoner >> >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they >> >> refused >> >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was >> >> taunting the >> >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up >> >> in the >> >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah >> >> wouldn't just >> >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. >> >> n >> >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in >> >> my room >> >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, >> >> I didn't >> >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't >> >> go to >> >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up >> but I >> >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school >> >> and he >> >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them >> >> because they >> >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm >> >> TIRED >> >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and >> >> hiding in my >> >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> >> >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 I am so glad you posted again, I was very worried. The tape recorder sounds like a good idea to me. Keep us informed :-) - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction >> >> > Dear Toni, >> > >> > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say >> > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in >> this >> > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where >> > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your >> > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, >> I'm >> > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the >> > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. >> > Hang in there. >> > >> > Take care, >> > Liz >> > >> > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: >> > >> >> >> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a >> >> prisoner >> >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they >> >> refused >> >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was >> >> taunting the >> >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up >> >> in the >> >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah >> >> wouldn't just >> >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. >> >> n >> >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in >> >> my room >> >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, >> >> I didn't >> >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't >> >> go to >> >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up >> but I >> >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school >> >> and he >> >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them >> >> because they >> >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm >> >> TIRED >> >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and >> >> hiding in my >> >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> >> >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 Toni...your idea of an " Asperger's only " state is great! I have often wished that every house on my street just had kids with AS. All the kids would be the same and all the parents would help each other out. The schools would cater to our kids needs with bells on! The teacher would call me daily an ask what specifically could she do to help my son have a wonderful experience at school today! Well, I am certainly moving as soon as you get this new state developed! It would be perfect!!!! Keep us updated on how things are going with your husband gone. Liz Houston The s <carters5@...> wrote: I am so glad you posted again, I was very worried. The tape recorder sounds like a good idea to me. Keep us informed :-) - C. Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction >> >> > Dear Toni, >> > >> > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say >> > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in >> this >> > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where >> > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your >> > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, >> I'm >> > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the >> > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. >> > Hang in there. >> > >> > Take care, >> > Liz >> > >> > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: >> > >> >> >> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a >> >> prisoner >> >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they >> >> refused >> >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was >> >> taunting the >> >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up >> >> in the >> >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah >> >> wouldn't just >> >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. >> >> n >> >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in >> >> my room >> >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, >> >> I didn't >> >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't >> >> go to >> >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up >> but I >> >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school >> >> and he >> >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them >> >> because they >> >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm >> >> TIRED >> >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and >> >> hiding in my >> >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> >> >> > >> > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 Wouldn't that be IDEAL? An autism state where everyone that lives there treats autism, loves someone with autism, or is on the spectrum. Support would be everywhere, we wouldn't have to search and search and wear ourselves out looking for help... By the way, I'm not developing this state, I can barely get my own stuff together these days. How about you Liz? ( <grin>) So far so good with dh gone , of course he just left yesterday am...Thanks for caring Liz. Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction >>> >>> > Dear Toni, >>> > >>> > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say >>> > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in >>> this >>> > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where >>> > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your >>> > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, >>> I'm >>> > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the >>> > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. >>> > Hang in there. >>> > >>> > Take care, >>> > Liz >>> > >>> > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: >>> > >>> >> >>> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a >>> >> prisoner >>> >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they >>> >> refused >>> >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was >>> >> taunting the >>> >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up >>> >> in the >>> >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah >>> >> wouldn't just >>> >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. >>> >> n >>> >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in >>> >> my room >>> >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, >>> >> I didn't >>> >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't >>> >> go to >>> >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up >>> but I >>> >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school >>> >> and he >>> >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them >>> >> because they >>> >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm >>> >> TIRED >>> >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and >>> >> hiding in my >>> >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... >>> >> ----- Original Message ----- >>> >> >>> > >>> > >>> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted February 25, 2007 Report Share Posted February 25, 2007 Yep, I'm still here. So far so good.. Of course he's only been gone 24 hours... I think now (HOPE) that n has quit school he may not be so stressed and aggressive and he is back on his meds...Noah has said that he wants to graduate and stick to it. They have never been apart as far as school goes so it will be interesting to see if Noah sticks it out...Thanks for caring C.. Re: ( ) Newbie Introduction > >> > >> > Dear Toni, > >> > > >> > I am somewhat of a harda** about meds, and I would be tempted to say > >> > something along the lines of " You can take your meds and stay in > >> this > >> > house, or you can not take your meds and go to the hospital where > >> > they can help you learn to control your rages without meds. Your > >> > choice. " And if he doesn't choose, he goes to the hospital. Toni, > >> I'm > >> > sorry you're having to go through all this. I think it's harder the > >> > older they get, because we as parents have less influence over them. > >> > Hang in there. > >> > > >> > Take care, > >> > Liz > >> > > >> > On Feb 11, 2007, at 12:09 PM, Toni wrote: > >> > > >> >> > >> >> I told them to leave my room and they don't LISTEN. I feel like a > >> >> prisoner > >> >> in my own home. My boys are 18 and when I told them to get out they > >> >> refused > >> >> and I had to try and protect the one cornered( Noah) who was > >> >> taunting the > >> >> one( n) that had in him the corner with a big knife held up > >> >> in the > >> >> air. I was scared we were going to have an accident and Noah > >> >> wouldn't just > >> >> SHUT UP so n would calm down. Of course dh was out of town. > >> >> n > >> >> finally went and put the knife up and 10 minutes later he was up in > >> >> my room > >> >> acting like nothing happened and saying I love you. God forgive me, > >> >> I didn't > >> >> even feel like saying I love you back after that. They both didn't > >> >> go to > >> >> school all week and n said his meds were f'ing his head up > >> but I > >> >> pointed out that he had been taking it when he was going to school > >> >> and he > >> >> didn't have meltdowns like that. Yeah, but I quit taking them > >> >> because they > >> >> are f'ing with my head. I can't reason with him about the meds. I'm > >> >> TIRED > >> >> and sick of feeling like a prisoner walking on egg shells and > >> >> hiding in my > >> >> room to prevent meltdowns. the convicts are running the prison.... > >> >> ----- Original Message ----- > >> >> > >> > > >> > > >> > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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