Re: Still angry

[Guest guest]

We found out when our twin boys were 5. It took a year to get over our angry

pity party. You are not alone in your feelings. Now we try to look at the

positive sides of the situation. There are certain parts of their personality

that would not be if not for autism, the parts that I love. I slip into the

pity party from time to time, but no longer dwell on it like I once did.

Eydie

( ) Still angry

Hello all,

I don't mean to sound as if I am whining (I am), but I am still just

so upset about this whole thing. I also just had a Dejavu. I have

dreamt this day. Sitting here at the computer on an ASD forum and

typing. YOu ever have dejavu's?

Anyway, we found out about our daughters dx last week and it was what

i expected to hear, but am still upset.

My wife and I have talked and agree that she is an extreme case of

Aspergers, but is still unique in her abilities and lack of abilities.

I just want the best for her and want life to not be so difficult for

her. She does speech therapy four days per week and loves doing that

and also we do some things at home to work together. At home though,

she gets to have down time and mostly play and have fun. Home is

safe and that is how we are going to keep the home environment, this

way she will always have a safe, non-threatening and happy place to

go if needed.

I think about my brother and nephew a lot who are both older now and

had characteristics of Aspergers and dyslexia. My brother was older

and watched him struggle as I just breezed by him (I was always

empathetic to both) and I felt so bad for him.

I would like to just give her a piece of my brain and say " ok, all

fixed. " , but I can't and it pisses me off.

I am sure that many of you have/had/do feel the same way.

I never let the kids see how I am feeling and my wife and I have

talked about this a little.

I just think it is so unfair and it gets me angry on so many levels.

and I know it is my fault for letting it do that to me.

When I look back on life, everything was fairly easy for me, I had

some struggles, but nothing like what my brother/nephew/daughter are

going through. I know that they are/will be better people for the

whole experience, but I guess I am still going through the coping

progress and am stuck on anger/depression.

Anyone else feel this way when given the " news " ?

Sorry to whine and ramble. I find it hard pressed to do it anywhere

else and most people do not understand/want to hear it/ etc.

________________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Thank you for your support and thoughts.

On top of the diagnosis, I just don't want my daughter to have the childhood I

had either.

I feel I may fall into the turning into your parents trap. I also have to get

overy myself before I deal with alll of this new stuff.

I identify my feelings with the song below:

'; document.write(''); document.write(''); document.write(''); //-->

Perfect Sometimes is never quite enough If you're

flawless, then you'll win my love Don't forget to win first place Don't

forget to keep that smile on your face Be a good boy Try a little harder

You've got to measure up And make me prouder How long before you screw it

up How many times do I have to tell you to hurry up With everything I do for

you The least you can do is keep quiet Be a good girl You've gotta try a

little harder That simply wasn't good enough To make us proud I'll live

through you I'll make you what I never was If you're the best, then maybe so

am I Compared to him compared to her I'm doing this for your own damn good

You'll make up for what I blew What's the problem... why are you crying Be

a good boy Push a little farther now That wasn't fast enough To make us

happy We'll love you just the way you are if you're perfect

twinsmom40219@... wrote:

We found out when our twin boys were 5. It took a year to get over our

angry pity party. You are not alone in your feelings. Now we try to look at the

positive sides of the situation. There are certain parts of their personality

that would not be if not for autism, the parts that I love. I slip into the pity

party from time to time, but no longer dwell on it like I once did.

Eydie

( ) Still angry

Hello all,

I don't mean to sound as if I am whining (I am), but I am still just

so upset about this whole thing. I also just had a Dejavu. I have

dreamt this day. Sitting here at the computer on an ASD forum and

typing. YOu ever have dejavu's?

Anyway, we found out about our daughters dx last week and it was what

i expected to hear, but am still upset.

My wife and I have talked and agree that she is an extreme case of

Aspergers, but is still unique in her abilities and lack of abilities.

I just want the best for her and want life to not be so difficult for

her. She does speech therapy four days per week and loves doing that

and also we do some things at home to work together. At home though,

she gets to have down time and mostly play and have fun. Home is

safe and that is how we are going to keep the home environment, this

way she will always have a safe, non-threatening and happy place to

go if needed.

I think about my brother and nephew a lot who are both older now and

had characteristics of Aspergers and dyslexia. My brother was older

and watched him struggle as I just breezed by him (I was always

empathetic to both) and I felt so bad for him.

I would like to just give her a piece of my brain and say " ok, all

fixed. " , but I can't and it pisses me off.

I am sure that many of you have/had/do feel the same way.

I never let the kids see how I am feeling and my wife and I have

talked about this a little.

I just think it is so unfair and it gets me angry on so many levels.

and I know it is my fault for letting it do that to me.

When I look back on life, everything was fairly easy for me, I had

some struggles, but nothing like what my brother/nephew/daughter are

going through. I know that they are/will be better people for the

whole experience, but I guess I am still going through the coping

progress and am stuck on anger/depression.

Anyone else feel this way when given the " news " ?

Sorry to whine and ramble. I find it hard pressed to do it anywhere

else and most people do not understand/want to hear it/ etc.

__________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Everything you are feeling right now, is totally normal and ok.

My son was dx'd 4 years ago and I still get angry and sad and confused and

depressed and sometimes am even in denial when it's going really well.

I cry, do the wrong things, say the wrong things, have too little patience,

too.

But,,,,,,I am doing my best and that's all any of us can do.

As " bad " as I am with all of this,,,,,,,I'm also a really good advocate for

understanding this crappy disorder. The more people you can explain it to, the

better.

Your daughter will be an amazing girl and woman. I always tell myself that my

son, Ian, is going to be WHO he is meant to be. Just like my other kids will be

WHO they are going to be. Kind of takes a lot of the pressure off.

You'll be great.

Good luck.

Robin

<droehl1234@...> wrote:

Hello all,

I don't mean to sound as if I am whining (I am), but I am still just

so upset about this whole thing. I also just had a Dejavu. I have

dreamt this day. Sitting here at the computer on an ASD forum and

typing. YOu ever have dejavu's?

Anyway, we found out about our daughters dx last week and it was what

i expected to hear, but am still upset.

My wife and I have talked and agree that she is an extreme case of

Aspergers, but is still unique in her abilities and lack of abilities.

I just want the best for her and want life to not be so difficult for

her. She does speech therapy four days per week and loves doing that

and also we do some things at home to work together. At home though,

she gets to have down time and mostly play and have fun. Home is

safe and that is how we are going to keep the home environment, this

way she will always have a safe, non-threatening and happy place to

go if needed.

I think about my brother and nephew a lot who are both older now and

had characteristics of Aspergers and dyslexia. My brother was older

and watched him struggle as I just breezed by him (I was always

empathetic to both) and I felt so bad for him.

I would like to just give her a piece of my brain and say " ok, all

fixed. " , but I can't and it pisses me off.

I am sure that many of you have/had/do feel the same way.

I never let the kids see how I am feeling and my wife and I have

talked about this a little.

I just think it is so unfair and it gets me angry on so many levels.

and I know it is my fault for letting it do that to me.

When I look back on life, everything was fairly easy for me, I had

some struggles, but nothing like what my brother/nephew/daughter are

going through. I know that they are/will be better people for the

whole experience, but I guess I am still going through the coping

progress and am stuck on anger/depression.

Anyone else feel this way when given the " news " ?

Sorry to whine and ramble. I find it hard pressed to do it anywhere

else and most people do not understand/want to hear it/ etc.

---------------------------------

Access over 1 million songs - Music Unlimited.

[Guest guest]

I sure did feel that way when I got " the news. " I recently read a post on

another discussion group who compared it to the stages one goes through when the

receive a diagnosis of a terminal illnes or grieves the loss of someone close

like a sibling or spouse.

One trully does " grieve " the loss of their child's " normal " childhood. Thus at

first I denied there was anything wrong then bargained (Maybe he'll be another

Enstien, he probably had Aspergers) then, then I was angry, depresed then

finally I started reading everything on Asperger's I could get my hands on and

came to acceptence. You will have rough days and tiny victories for things that

would not excite a parent of a NT child. But now you will also understand why

your child behaves the way she does and be able to adapt strategies for coping.

Give it a few months and you will have your plan installed and be in a much

better place.

Very truly yours;

Todd B. Kotler

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you.

( ) Still angry

Hello all,

I don't mean to sound as if I am whining (I am), but I am still just

so upset about this whole thing. I also just had a Dejavu. I have

dreamt this day. Sitting here at the computer on an ASD forum and

typing. YOu ever have dejavu's?

Anyway, we found out about our daughters dx last week and it was what

i expected to hear, but am still upset.

My wife and I have talked and agree that she is an extreme case of

Aspergers, but is still unique in her abilities and lack of abilities.

I just want the best for her and want life to not be so difficult for

her. She does speech therapy four days per week and loves doing that

and also we do some things at home to work together. At home though,

she gets to have down time and mostly play and have fun. Home is

safe and that is how we are going to keep the home environment, this

way she will always have a safe, non-threatening and happy place to

go if needed.

I think about my brother and nephew a lot who are both older now and

had characteristics of Aspergers and dyslexia. My brother was older

and watched him struggle as I just breezed by him (I was always

empathetic to both) and I felt so bad for him.

I would like to just give her a piece of my brain and say " ok, all

fixed. " , but I can't and it pisses me off.

I am sure that many of you have/had/do feel the same way.

I never let the kids see how I am feeling and my wife and I have

talked about this a little.

I just think it is so unfair and it gets me angry on so many levels.

and I know it is my fault for letting it do that to me.

When I look back on life, everything was fairly easy for me, I had

some struggles, but nothing like what my brother/nephew/daughter are

going through. I know that they are/will be better people for the

whole experience, but I guess I am still going through the coping

progress and am stuck on anger/depression.

Anyone else feel this way when given the " news " ?

Sorry to whine and ramble. I find it hard pressed to do it anywhere

else and most people do not understand/want to hear it/ etc.

________________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I think we all can relate to anger, hurt & wishing we could fix

the problem. I watch struggling with tying his shoes (age 14) or

struggling with making a friend it gets to me. But he has come a long way & he

tries very hard to please. He was 8 when we found out his Dx's. In a way I was

relieved because I knew what was wrong & had a name for it. He never got mad

about it but wanted to know who he got it from. Once when we took him to

KennyWood Amusement Park,we went to the main office to get him a card so he

didn't have to wait in long lines. He said to me that was the coolest thing

about Asperger Syndrome.

Take care,Betty

<droehl1234@...> wrote:

Hello all,

I don't mean to sound as if I am whining (I am), but I am still just

so upset about this whole thing. I also just had a Dejavu. I have

dreamt this day. Sitting here at the computer on an ASD forum and

typing. YOu ever have dejavu's?

Anyway, we found out about our daughters dx last week and it was what

i expected to hear, but am still upset.

My wife and I have talked and agree that she is an extreme case of

Aspergers, but is still unique in her abilities and lack of abilities.

I just want the best for her and want life to not be so difficult for

her. She does speech therapy four days per week and loves doing that

and also we do some things at home to work together. At home though,

she gets to have down time and mostly play and have fun. Home is

safe and that is how we are going to keep the home environment, this

way she will always have a safe, non-threatening and happy place to

go if needed.

I think about my brother and nephew a lot who are both older now and

had characteristics of Aspergers and dyslexia. My brother was older

and watched him struggle as I just breezed by him (I was always

empathetic to both) and I felt so bad for him.

I would like to just give her a piece of my brain and say " ok, all

fixed. " , but I can't and it pisses me off.

I am sure that many of you have/had/do feel the same way.

I never let the kids see how I am feeling and my wife and I have

talked about this a little.

I just think it is so unfair and it gets me angry on so many levels.

and I know it is my fault for letting it do that to me.

When I look back on life, everything was fairly easy for me, I had

some struggles, but nothing like what my brother/nephew/daughter are

going through. I know that they are/will be better people for the

whole experience, but I guess I am still going through the coping

progress and am stuck on anger/depression.

Anyone else feel this way when given the " news " ?

Sorry to whine and ramble. I find it hard pressed to do it anywhere

else and most people do not understand/want to hear it/ etc.

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

We just received Mack's diagnosis a month ago. He is 14. We have suspected it

for 3 years since a counselor suggested it. We have been searching for someone

to diagnose it since then. My anger is not with the diagnosis, but with the

struggle to get there. We went through 3 psychiatric hospitalizations, 4

arrests and numerous therapies before we got the diagnosis. Much of Mack's

anger that fed these episodes came because we did not have a correct diagnosis

and we were approaching his intervention in the wrong way. In addition to

Asperger's, Mack is bipolar, ADHD, RAD, and ODD. I agree that Mack is who he is

because of Aspergers. It is very much a part of his personality. Now our job

is to help him to accept himself after all the years of trying to change him

rather than changing situations around him. He is currently in a wonderful RTC

program. They are helping him and us to come to a point of healing and

wholeness for our son and our family.

Donna

( ) Still angry

Hello all,

I don't mean to sound as if I am whining (I am), but I am still just

so upset about this whole thing. I also just had a Dejavu. I have

dreamt this day. Sitting here at the computer on an ASD forum and

typing. YOu ever have dejavu's?

Anyway, we found out about our daughters dx last week and it was what

i expected to hear, but am still upset.

My wife and I have talked and agree that she is an extreme case of

Aspergers, but is still unique in her abilities and lack of abilities.

I just want the best for her and want life to not be so difficult for

her. She does speech therapy four days per week and loves doing that

and also we do some things at home to work together. At home though,

she gets to have down time and mostly play and have fun. Home is

safe and that is how we are going to keep the home environment, this

way she will always have a safe, non-threatening and happy place to

go if needed.

I think about my brother and nephew a lot who are both older now and

had characteristics of Aspergers and dyslexia. My brother was older

and watched him struggle as I just breezed by him (I was always

empathetic to both) and I felt so bad for him.

I would like to just give her a piece of my brain and say " ok, all

fixed. " , but I can't and it pisses me off.

I am sure that many of you have/had/do feel the same way.

I never let the kids see how I am feeling and my wife and I have

talked about this a little.

I just think it is so unfair and it gets me angry on so many levels.

and I know it is my fault for letting it do that to me.

When I look back on life, everything was fairly easy for me, I had

some struggles, but nothing like what my brother/nephew/daughter are

going through. I know that they are/will be better people for the

whole experience, but I guess I am still going through the coping

progress and am stuck on anger/depression.

Anyone else feel this way when given the " news " ?

Sorry to whine and ramble. I find it hard pressed to do it anywhere

else and most people do not understand/want to hear it/ etc.

__________________________________________________________

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