Re: Family members that don't get it...and disown you for ...

[Guest guest]

My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was horrible on

me and the kids.

The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they have no

idea what you go through in your daily life.

I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them to my

mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She was beginning

to understand.

This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks I got

from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect Jake from

them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to my mother

and

it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to the rest

of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life. I am

amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all. Everything I have

ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I was up

against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs a good pop

on the butt " was her usual comment.

This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding, and

thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him also. Now, he

is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I find

relevant to Jake.

Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has actually gone

to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she has

found!

My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands unless they

live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly they

just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert would just

cringe

at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown, by God I

will do whatever it takes!

YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel sorry for

them. Your job is your child and helping him.

Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800) _ Pictures!!_

(http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

_Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to just

feel better?

_AWESOME tart burners_

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

_Witty MOM safety products_

(http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) , STRANGER

SAFETY!!!

[Guest guest]

My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

be done.

On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

tantrum. My brother picked her up (she is 5) and drug her kicking

over to me saying make her stop. She threw a big tantrum of course.

I tried to explain that spitting could be cleaned up but now she was

out of control. He did not get it. I was pretty mad at him all day,

but in the end he just did not get it. At least I do not see these

people too much.

Jen

>

> My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

horrible on

> me and the kids.

>

> The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

have no

> idea what you go through in your daily life.

>

> I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

to my

> mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

was beginning

> to understand.

>

> This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

I got

> from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

Jake from

> them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

>

> I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

> Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

my mother and

> it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

the rest

> of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

>

> My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

I am

> amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

Everything I have

> ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

was up

> against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

a good pop

> on the butt " was her usual comment.

>

> This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

and

> thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

also. Now, he

> is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

find

> relevant to Jake.

>

> Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

actually gone

> to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

has

> found!

>

> My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

unless they

> live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

they

> just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

would just cringe

> at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

by God I

> will do whatever it takes!

>

> YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

> ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

sorry for

> them. Your job is your child and helping him.

>

>

> Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_ Pictures!!_

> (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

>

> _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

just

> feel better?

> _AWESOME tart burners_

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

> _Witty MOM safety products_

> (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

STRANGER SAFETY!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I can really relate to this stuff too. My in- laws are convinced that once my

son starts school he'll grow out of his " issues " . And part of that is because

they're convinced that we've spoilt him and wrapped him in cotton wool. The

hardest thing is my father in law, he delights in using my son's naivety to

tease him. And it's constant even though I've tried to explain that our son

doesn't get sarcasm. For example my FIL will pretend to eat all of Isaac's

ice-cream or threaten to look him in a dark shed and he thinks it's hilarious

when Isaac freaks out. It drives me mad but my husband just says " Oh he's just

kidding around he used to do that to us when we kids! " He even tried to make me

feel guilty about letting Isaac have an EEG he said I should stop " putting the

poor kid through all these tests when there's nothing wrong with him " He went

on to say that in his opinion an EEG would actually give Isaac epilepsy.

Beck J

Re: ( ) Family members that don't get it...and disown

you for ...

My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

be done.

On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

tantrum. My brother picked her up (she is 5) and drug her kicking

over to me saying make her stop. She threw a big tantrum of course.

I tried to explain that spitting could be cleaned up but now she was

out of control. He did not get it. I was pretty mad at him all day,

but in the end he just did not get it. At least I do not see these

people too much.

Jen

>

> My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

horrible on

> me and the kids.

>

> The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

have no

> idea what you go through in your daily life.

>

> I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

to my

> mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

was beginning

> to understand.

>

> This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

I got

> from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

Jake from

> them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

>

> I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

> Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

my mother and

> it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

the rest

> of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

>

> My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

I am

> amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

Everything I have

> ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

was up

> against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

a good pop

> on the butt " was her usual comment.

>

> This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

and

> thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

also. Now, he

> is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

find

> relevant to Jake.

>

> Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

actually gone

> to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

has

> found!

>

> My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

unless they

> live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

they

> just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

would just cringe

> at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

by God I

> will do whatever it takes!

>

> YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

> ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

sorry for

> them. Your job is your child and helping him.

>

>

> Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_ Pictures!!_

> (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

>

> _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

just

> feel better?

> _AWESOME tart burners_

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

> _Witty MOM safety products_

> (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

STRANGER SAFETY!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yikes. I think spitting would not get ignored at my house, autism or no autism.

Why did she spit?

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Family members that don't get it...and disown

you for ...

My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

be done.

On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

tantrum. My brother picked her up (she is 5) and drug her kicking

over to me saying make her stop. She threw a big tantrum of course.

I tried to explain that spitting could be cleaned up but now she was

out of control. He did not get it. I was pretty mad at him all day,

but in the end he just did not get it. At least I do not see these

people too much.

Jen

>

> My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

horrible on

> me and the kids.

>

> The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

have no

> idea what you go through in your daily life.

>

> I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

to my

> mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

was beginning

> to understand.

>

> This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

I got

> from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

Jake from

> them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

>

> I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

> Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

my mother and

> it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

the rest

> of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

>

> My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

I am

> amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

Everything I have

> ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

was up

> against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

a good pop

> on the butt " was her usual comment.

>

> This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

and

> thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

also. Now, he

> is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

find

> relevant to Jake.

>

> Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

actually gone

> to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

has

> found!

>

> My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

unless they

> live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

they

> just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

would just cringe

> at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

by God I

> will do whatever it takes!

>

> YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

> ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

sorry for

> them. Your job is your child and helping him.

>

>

> Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_ Pictures!!_

> (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

>

> _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

just

> feel better?

> _AWESOME tart burners_

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

> _Witty MOM safety products_

> (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

STRANGER SAFETY!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

So Fil gets his jollies by making little kids cry and dh thinks that is not a

big deal? If someone threatened to put my kid in a locked shed, I would

threaten to pound his fat head into a little bottle. Maybe we could send it off

to scientists who would study why any fil would think making a grandchild upset

is at all humorous and not just plain mean.

As for his expert opinion on what causes epilepsy, lol, did you just laugh in

his face over that remark?

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Family members that don't get it...and disown

you for ...

My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

be done.

On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

tantrum. My brother picked her up (she is 5) and drug her kicking

over to me saying make her stop. She threw a big tantrum of course.

I tried to explain that spitting could be cleaned up but now she was

out of control. He did not get it. I was pretty mad at him all day,

but in the end he just did not get it. At least I do not see these

people too much.

Jen

>

> My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

horrible on

> me and the kids.

>

> The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

have no

> idea what you go through in your daily life.

>

> I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

to my

> mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

was beginning

> to understand.

>

> This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

I got

> from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

Jake from

> them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

>

> I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

> Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

my mother and

> it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

the rest

> of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

>

> My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

I am

> amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

Everything I have

> ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

was up

> against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

a good pop

> on the butt " was her usual comment.

>

> This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

and

> thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

also. Now, he

> is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

find

> relevant to Jake.

>

> Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

actually gone

> to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

has

> found!

>

> My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

unless they

> live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

they

> just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

would just cringe

> at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

by God I

> will do whatever it takes!

>

> YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

> ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

sorry for

> them. Your job is your child and helping him.

>

>

> Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_ Pictures!!_

> (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

>

> _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

just

> feel better?

> _AWESOME tart burners_

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

> _Witty MOM safety products_

> (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

STRANGER SAFETY!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Yeah, my step dad used to do things like leave an empty ice cream box in the

freezer and tell me I could have some ice cream if I scooped it myself. All

kinds of tricks like that that he thought were funny. I don't think I have AS

but those " tricks " still scar me today. Why do people think those mean things

are funny?

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: So Fil gets his jollies by

making little kids cry and dh thinks that is not a big deal? If someone

threatened to put my kid in a locked shed, I would threaten to pound his fat

head into a little bottle. Maybe we could send it off to scientists who would

study why any fil would think making a grandchild upset is at all humorous and

not just plain mean.

As for his expert opinion on what causes epilepsy, lol, did you just laugh in

his face over that remark?

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Family members that don't get it...and disown

you for ...

My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

be done.

On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

tantrum. My brother picked her up (she is 5) and drug her kicking

over to me saying make her stop. She threw a big tantrum of course.

I tried to explain that spitting could be cleaned up but now she was

out of control. He did not get it. I was pretty mad at him all day,

but in the end he just did not get it. At least I do not see these

people too much.

Jen

>

> My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

horrible on

> me and the kids.

>

> The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

have no

> idea what you go through in your daily life.

>

> I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

to my

> mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

was beginning

> to understand.

>

> This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

I got

> from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

Jake from

> them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

>

> I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

> Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

my mother and

> it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

the rest

> of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

>

> My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

I am

> amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

Everything I have

> ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

was up

> against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

a good pop

> on the butt " was her usual comment.

>

> This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

and

> thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

also. Now, he

> is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

find

> relevant to Jake.

>

> Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

actually gone

> to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

has

> found!

>

> My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

unless they

> live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

they

> just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

would just cringe

> at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

by God I

> will do whatever it takes!

>

> YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

> ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

sorry for

> them. Your job is your child and helping him.

>

>

> Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_ Pictures!!_

> (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

>

> _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

just

> feel better?

> _AWESOME tart burners_

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

> _Witty MOM safety products_

> (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

STRANGER SAFETY!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

That is just plain cruel!!!! Have you or anyone stepped up to him and just ask

him straight out: Does this make you feel good!! or are you trying to be

straight out cruel!!!....Do you still have a relationship with him? If

something like that was happening to me, He would be the one I would have to

protect my children from. If he's making your child cry, that's not good for

your child's self esteem...And if you haven't said anything to him with the way

he's treating you & your child. that just tells me you are also afraid of him

too...Have you considered taking a break from visiting your step dad? putting a

child in a locked shed must be very traumatizing for your child and that needs

to be stopped and your child needs to know his mom is there to protect him by

not allowing your step dad near him anymore. He hasn't changed since you were

growing up with him so I don't think you can change him now. that must be so

stressful for you and your child. outch. stay away

for your child's self esteem & safety... Hugs to you.

Essenfeld <lessen@...> wrote: Yeah, my step dad used

to do things like leave an empty ice cream box in the freezer and tell me I

could have some ice cream if I scooped it myself. All kinds of tricks like that

that he thought were funny. I don't think I have AS but those " tricks " still

scar me today. Why do people think those mean things are funny?

Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: So Fil gets his jollies by making

little kids cry and dh thinks that is not a big deal? If someone threatened to

put my kid in a locked shed, I would threaten to pound his fat head into a

little bottle. Maybe we could send it off to scientists who would study why any

fil would think making a grandchild upset is at all humorous and not just plain

mean.

As for his expert opinion on what causes epilepsy, lol, did you just laugh in

his face over that remark?

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Family members that don't get it...and disown

you for ...

My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

be done.

On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

tantrum. My brother picked her up (she is 5) and drug her kicking

over to me saying make her stop. She threw a big tantrum of course.

I tried to explain that spitting could be cleaned up but now she was

out of control. He did not get it. I was pretty mad at him all day,

but in the end he just did not get it. At least I do not see these

people too much.

Jen

>

> My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

horrible on

> me and the kids.

>

> The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

have no

> idea what you go through in your daily life.

>

> I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

to my

> mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

was beginning

> to understand.

>

> This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

I got

> from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

Jake from

> them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

>

> I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a focus on

> Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

my mother and

> it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

the rest

> of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

>

> My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

I am

> amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

Everything I have

> ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

was up

> against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

a good pop

> on the butt " was her usual comment.

>

> This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

and

> thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

also. Now, he

> is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

find

> relevant to Jake.

>

> Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

actually gone

> to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

has

> found!

>

> My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

unless they

> live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

they

> just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

would just cringe

> at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

by God I

> will do whatever it takes!

>

> YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other people's

> ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

sorry for

> them. Your job is your child and helping him.

>

>

> Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

_ Pictures!!_

> (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

>

> _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

just

> feel better?

> _AWESOME tart burners_

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

> _Witty MOM safety products_

> (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

STRANGER SAFETY!!!

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My son also spits on the floor when he gets overwhelmed or angry.

Sometimes the best solution is to ignore him, especially when he's

doing it for attention. Actually, now that I think of it, he hasn't

done it for a very long time, which tells me that ignoring it was the

best thing.

>

> Yikes. I think spitting would not get ignored at my house, autism

or no autism. Why did she spit?

>

> Roxanna

> Re: ( ) Family members that don't get

it...and disown you for ...

>

>

> My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

> autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

> she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

> decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

> be done.

>

> On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

> was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

> the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

> tantrum.

[Guest guest]

What would cause him to get angry?? Maybe he just needed help working that out,

or what to do when someone gets him angry so he can learn that spitting on

someones floor is not appropriate. When my son was younger, and someone got him

angry by taking his toy, my son would hit them. They would drop the toy and run

to their mom. (my son got his toy back???) I had to teach my son other things

he could do if someone took his toy. (instead of hitting). If he did this today

and he hit the wrong child, that child could hurt my son pretty bad, so it was

best I taught him at a young age what to do.

Thats great to hear, that things worked out and he's not spitting anymore.

With my son it took lots of social skills, therapy, and working with him one on

one, (baby steps) to teach him to stop hitting. *smile*

Haddayr <haddayr@...> wrote:

My son also spits on the floor when he gets overwhelmed or angry.

Sometimes the best solution is to ignore him, especially when he's

doing it for attention. Actually, now that I think of it, he hasn't

done it for a very long time, which tells me that ignoring it was the

best thing.

>

> Yikes. I think spitting would not get ignored at my house, autism

or no autism. Why did she spit?

>

> Roxanna

> Re: ( ) Family members that don't get

it...and disown you for ...

>

>

> My mother in law is always saying that my daughter does not have

> autism. Since she has no official diagnosis it makes it worse. But

> she is receiving services under an autism placement. I have just

> decided that I know what is best for my daughter and do what needs to

> be done.

>

> On Christmas though my brother was on my case for her behavior. She

> was overstimulated and just needed to unwind. She started to spit on

> the floor and I was just going to ignore it to avoid a complete

> tantrum.

---------------------------------

Get your own web address.

Have a HUGE year through Small Business.

[Guest guest]

She spits when she is starting to lose control. If at home, she has

been redirected, but on Christmas she was over-stimulated. If family

is going to be irritated by her spitting than I would rather stay at

home. I can clean spit up, no big deal.

Jen

> >

> > My mother was the same way. Whenever she came to visit it was

> horrible on

> > me and the kids.

> >

> > The basic thing to understand is that they DON " T understand, they

> have no

> > idea what you go through in your daily life.

> >

> > I started printing things I found on the internet and mailing them

> to my

> > mother. She started seeing Jake in a whole different light. She

> was beginning

> > to understand.

> >

> > This past Christmas my whole family saw Jake's outburst. The looks

> I got

> > from them was awful. I found myself trying to explain and protect

> Jake from

> > them....this is MY family, why should I have to do that?

> >

> > I found a really good explanation of ADHD/Asperger's, with a

focus on

> > Christmas issues....the overstim and meltdowns, etc. I sent that to

> my mother and

> > it was like a light bulb went off. She printed it and sent it to

> the rest

> > of my family! Now at least we have some sort of understanding.

> >

> > My mother is a constant critisizer, she critisized me my whole life.

> I am

> > amzaed at the fact that I have any self confidence at all.

> Everything I have

> > ever done is wrong, she is always right. So you can imagine what I

> was up

> > against when trying to explain Jake's issues to her. " He just needs

> a good pop

> > on the butt " was her usual comment.

> >

> > This is why I also divorced my husband, as he had no understanding,

> and

> > thought spanking was the answer. I had to protect Jake from him

> also. Now, he

> > is beginning to understand also as I give him copies too of what I

> find

> > relevant to Jake.

> >

> > Now, 3 years later we have some understanding. My mother has

> actually gone

> > to the library and read some books and she has sent me articles she

> has

> > found!

> >

> > My philosophy is you do what you have to do. Nobody understands

> unless they

> > live your life. Do your best to educate those around you, honestly

> they

> > just don't know. I do things with my kids that a child expert

> would just cringe

> > at but you know what, it works for us! If I can avoid a meltdown,

> by God I

> > will do whatever it takes!

> >

> > YOU are the parent, YOU know what is best. DO NOT let other

people's

> > ignorance get in way the of what you have to do. Educate them, feel

> sorry for

> > them. Your job is your child and helping him.

> >

> >

> > Tracey Shockey _MYspace_

> >

>

(http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile & friendid=13263\

4800)

> _ Pictures!!_

> > (http://www.picturetrail.com/dtjrshockey) New pics!

> >

> > _Shaklee_ (http://www.shaklee.net/wellnessiseasy) Isn't it time to

> just

> > feel better?

> > _AWESOME tart burners_

> >

>

(http://www.wbwholesale.com/cgi-bin/affiliates/clickthru.cgi?id=happybrats3)

>

> > _Witty MOM safety products_

> > (http://www.wittymom.com/idevaffiliate/idevaffiliate.php?id=186) ,

> STRANGER SAFETY!!!

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

You're kidding, right? My son is a four-year-old with Asperger's and

Tourette's. _Breathing_ causes him to get angry.

We've had a lot of luck with not allowing him to hit when he's angry

with 1-2-3 time outs, but the spitting was turning into a

tic/autoresponse, so ignoring it seemed best. Turns out, I was right,

apparently.

> My son also spits on the floor when he gets overwhelmed or

angry.

[Guest guest]

glad to hear that worked for you. when my son went through the hitting, I found

out what was causing him to hit and it took years or therapy, Social skills,

correcting, & being consistent in teaching him not to hit. Time outs only gave

me a break, didn't teach him anything. I couldn't leave him in the same room

with his sister while I went to the bathroom. what worked for us was, if he hit

someone, he had to do something nice for them. but that didn't work at first

either, and that was after all the other intervention. When we went to the

park, someones house, any place with other kids, I would be right their with him

so I can catch him before he hit, and showed him the right way to respond.

exhausting right? but it was worth it for us, he doesn't hit any more. but

what bothers me more than teaching him all this is when we go to someones home

or event, and their child acts out and the parents don't do anything???? not

even try?? has that happened to you?

Haddayr <haddayr@...> wrote:

You're kidding, right? My son is a four-year-old with Asperger's and

Tourette's. _Breathing_ causes him to get angry.

We've had a lot of luck with not allowing him to hit when he's angry

with 1-2-3 time outs, but the spitting was turning into a

tic/autoresponse, so ignoring it seemed best. Turns out, I was right,

apparently.

> My son also spits on the floor when he gets overwhelmed or

angry.

---------------------------------

Need Mail bonding?

Go to the Q & A for great tips from Answers users.

[Guest guest]

Oh, he's getting therapy and OT and he'll be in social skills classes,

too. If I could have igored my way through all of his problems, I'd

feel no need to join this list. And we still have a looooooooong row

to hoe ahead of us, as you can attest to. And if ignoring hadn't

worked, I would have had to do something. My son is eventually going

to have to live in the same society as I do, you know? He HAS to learn

how to deal with this stuff.

You know, Arie is young enough and disconnected enough from other kids

that so far this problem you describe has only been a problem for

_me,_ not him. It drives me nuts when parents don't prevent their

children from hurting others (the only reason I was able to ignore the

spitting, for example, was because it wasn't _hurting_ anyone). But

Arie is so socially oblivious it would never occur to him to ask me

why do I have to behave and he doesn't?

So. Silver lining. I suppose this will matter later when he gets older.

-- Haddayr

> > My son also spits on the floor when he gets overwhelmed or

> angry.

>

>

>

>

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Need Mail bonding?

> Go to the Q & A for great tips from Answers users.

>

>

[Guest guest]

LOL, I have to laugh, I'm sorry...I can so relate! Anger is such a part

of my son's life, you never know what will trigger it. Someone walking

through the room, on the peripheral, a loud noise that 'distracts' him,

a cough...breathing, yes, that too!

We have to pick our battles -- if he's hurting someone else, that's a

definite issue but sometimes there are times when keeping the peace

takes priority. I've had to do this with a few things, then talk to him

later when he's at home and it's safe to have a meltdown of epic

proportion.

Haddayr wrote:

>

> You're kidding, right? My son is a four-year-old with Asperger's and

> Tourette's. _Breathing_ causes him to get angry.

>

> We've had a lot of luck with not allowing him to hit when he's angry

> with 1-2-3 time outs, but the spitting was turning into a

> tic/autoresponse, so ignoring it seemed best. Turns out, I was right,

> apparently.

>

>

> > My son also spits on the floor when he gets overwhelmed or

> angry.

>