Re: Now What????

[Guest guest]

Thanks Charlyne for the advice.

But today I called the principle and told him Hannah has been having some

problems with her behavior and her teacher had called me about it and talked to

me about it a few times. I told him she ask me for permission to paddle her and

I told her no we would have to do soemthing else. Ithen ask him if he could tell

me what to do about getting a behavior consultant in to observe Hannah and to

come up with a plan. He told me they don't do that and the school board only

" hires " a consultant to come in in extreme cases and mine was not extreme. He

told me to come up with a plan and then discuss it with Hannah's teacher.

OK?? I need a plan. Can anyone direct me to a website or book with a behavior

plan. What have you guys tried with your children? What do I do now?

Thanks a million!!!!

Pam mom to identical twins Hannah and both DS

charlyne1121@... wrote: In a message dated 4/8/2002 9:33:07 AM Eastern

Daylight Time,

p_houser37@... writes:

> I am in a hurry right now but will post a update in a couple of days. You

> guys are so wonderful and I don't know where you find the energy or the

> mental power to deal with all we have to deal with. Some days I just want

> to give up.

Hi Pam,

I know how hard it can be. I think you are on the right track and things will

fall into place. I would ask the principal for a behavior consultant or also

ask for the school psychologist to do a functional behavioral assessment. I

would back it up in a letter. You could go to the office and ask him

personally and just hand him the letter at the same time. You need to have a

copy for yourself. I hope this helps.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 9 DS/OCD ?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/8/2002 6:43:57 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

p_houser37@... writes:

> He told me to come up with a plan and then discuss it with Hannah's

> teacher.

Hi Pam,

It doesn't quite work that way. I am glad you have an advocate!! It is the

responsibility of the school to come up with a plan that works. Don't they

have a school psychologist? They must. Tell the principal that you want that

person to observe and do a functional behavioral assessment. Paddling kids???

What decade are they in. I think they are giving you a good story. I hope you

will document this for your notebook. Call again and do not take no for an

answer. If he still says no call your special education office in your

district. Let us know.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 9 DS/OCD ?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/8/02 5:41:15 PM Central Daylight Time,

p_houser37@... writes:

> He told me to come up with a plan and then discuss it with Hannah's teacher.

>

> OK?? I need a plan. Can anyone direct me to a website or book with a

> behavior plan. What have you guys tried with your children? What do I do

> now?

> Thanks a million!!!!

> Pam mom to identical twins Hannah and both DS

Pam,

I do not write my son's behavior plans for school because 1. I'm not there so

I don't see the triggers for the behavior or all the factors that play into

it.

2. They are the professionals. There should be someone in the dirstrict with

the ability to use positive approaches to teach appropriate behavior. If they

can't come up with someone then they do need to hire someone. Extreme case or

not your child has a right to be taught appropriate behavior by someone

trained to do it.

Don't let them put this back onto you. This is their job. It is your job to

give input into the things that you see that work for Hannah and the things

that don't work for Hannah and to tell them what is acceptable discipline and

what isn't.

Good luck,

Karyn

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/8/02 11:51:27 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

charlyne1121@... writes:

> Hi Pam,

> It doesn't quite work that way. I am glad you have an advocate!! It is the

> responsibility of the school to come up with a plan that works. Don't they

> have a school psychologist? They must. Tell the principal that you want

> that

> person to observe and do a functional behavioral assessment. Paddling

> kids???

> What decade are they in. I think they are giving you a good story. I hope

> you

> will document this for your notebook. Call again and do not take no for an

> answer. If he still says no call your special education office in your

> district. Let us know.

Absolutely Charlyne!!! Pam, I can't believe this guy told YOU to come up

with a behavior plan!!! I'd go with Charlyne's advice....and Karyn's.

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/9/2002 9:13:10 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

p_houser37@... writes:

> I got the name of the special ed director. I will be calling him tomorrorw

> to make an appointment. I will voice all of my concerns with him.

> I live in the Tennessee. In Lawrence County. Out county has one of the

> worse school districts ever. It is hard to get anything! I was told today

> by a friend and 's aid that she doubted very much if they would agree

> to Hannah being in regular kindergaten with her own aide. Thsy just don't

> do that! Gosh! I am in so much trouble. All of this is so overwhelming. I

> think I cried last weekend more than I ever have. All of this is too much

> sometime. I just want the best education my girls can get. Sure it is going

> to take a few mistakes and time to get there and to know exactly what that

> is. Wouldn't thses professionals want the same for their children.

Hi Pam,

Follow your heart and do what you have to do. They told me that too with Zeb

and guess what, the law is on your side. It is called the least restrictive

enviroment and you want your child educated to the maximum extent possible

with her peers.Please don't say best, the word is appropriate when talking to

the school. They do not have to give you best only appropriate. The school

districts love to deal with parents that have no idea what the laws and the

rights of your child are. They save money.Ask your advocate to help getting

the proper services.

Charlyne

Mom to Zeb 9 DS/OCD ?

[Guest guest]

I got the name of the special ed director. I will be calling him tomorrorw to

make an appointment. I will voice all of my concerns with him.

I live in the Tennessee. In Lawrence County. Out county has one of the worse

school districts ever. It is hard to get anything! I was told today by a friend

and 's aid that she doubted very much if they would agree to Hannah being

in regular kindergaten with her own aide. Thsy just don't do that! Gosh! I am in

so much trouble. All of this is so overwhelming. I think I cried last weekend

more than I ever have. All of this is too much sometime. I just want the best

education my girls can get. Sure it is going to take a few mistakes and time to

get there and to know exactly what that is. Wouldn't thses professionals want

the same for their children.

Pam mom to Hannah and age 6 both DS

duffey48@... wrote: In a message dated 4/8/02 11:51:27 PM Eastern Daylight

Time,

charlyne1121@... writes:

> Hi Pam,

> It doesn't quite work that way. I am glad you have an advocate!! It is the

> responsibility of the school to come up with a plan that works. Don't they

> have a school psychologist? They must. Tell the principal that you want

> that

> person to observe and do a functional behavioral assessment. Paddling

> kids???

> What decade are they in. I think they are giving you a good story. I hope

> you

> will document this for your notebook. Call again and do not take no for an

> answer. If he still says no call your special education office in your

> district. Let us know.

Absolutely Charlyne!!! Pam, I can't believe this guy told YOU to come up

with a behavior plan!!! I'd go with Charlyne's advice....and Karyn's.

Donna

[Guest guest]

Pam, am thinking of you, wish I could think of something for you, but remember,

your love for your girls is so strong and you are gonna get some answers and

things will get better!! My schools here are not much better and I was even

considering home schooling until I can work with him some more and find a better

situation, I know a wonderful sp. ed dir. in on Co. who I am seeing Sat.

I know this isnt your area but wish I could think of something for you. Everyone

is giving you such good advice and I am learning from it too! Just come to

Murfreesboro and see and I anytime you want, you are in my prayers, Dawn

Re: Now What????

I got the name of the special ed director. I will be calling him tomorrorw to

make an appointment. I will voice all of my concerns with him.

I live in the Tennessee. In Lawrence County. Out county has one of the worse

school districts ever. It is hard to get anything! I was told today by a friend

and 's aid that she doubted very much if they would agree to Hannah being

in regular kindergaten with her own aide. Thsy just don't do that! Gosh! I am in

so much trouble. All of this is so overwhelming. I think I cried last weekend

more than I ever have. All of this is too much sometime. I just want the best

education my girls can get. Sure it is going to take a few mistakes and time to

get there and to know exactly what that is. Wouldn't thses professionals want

the same for their children.

Pam mom to Hannah and age 6 both DS

duffey48@... wrote: In a message dated 4/8/02 11:51:27 PM Eastern Daylight

Time,

charlyne1121@... writes:

> Hi Pam,

> It doesn't quite work that way. I am glad you have an advocate!! It is the

> responsibility of the school to come up with a plan that works. Don't they

> have a school psychologist? They must. Tell the principal that you want

> that

> person to observe and do a functional behavioral assessment. Paddling

> kids???

> What decade are they in. I think they are giving you a good story. I hope

> you

> will document this for your notebook. Call again and do not take no for an

> answer. If he still says no call your special education office in your

> district. Let us know.

Absolutely Charlyne!!! Pam, I can't believe this guy told YOU to come up

with a behavior plan!!! I'd go with Charlyne's advice....and Karyn's.

Donna

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 4/9/02 8:13:10 PM Central Daylight Time,

p_houser37@... writes:

> I got the name of the special ed director. I will be calling him tomorrorw

> to make an appointment. I will voice all of my concerns with him.

> I live in the Tennessee. In Lawrence County. Out county has one of the

> worse school districts ever. It is hard to get anything! I was told today

> by a friend and 's aid that she doubted very much if they would agree

> to Hannah being in regular kindergaten with her own aide. Thsy just don't

> do that! Gosh! I am in so much trouble. All of this is so overwhelming. I

> think I cried last weekend more than I ever have. All of this is too much

> sometime. I just want the best education my girls can get. Sure it is going

> to take a few mistakes and time to get there and to know exactly what that

> is. Wouldn't thses professionals want the same for their children.

> Pam mom to Hannah and age 6 both DS

>

Pam,

It is the school administrator's job to educate as many children as possible

for as little tax money as possible. It is our job to make sure that they see

the legal reasons for educating our children.

It is very important that you put your issues in writing Pam. You need to

have it on paper. If they refuse your requests ask them to put it in writing.

Even if you know that you would never take it further it gives them more of

an impression that you are creating a paper trail. You may be amazed at how

their attitude changes. I think a factor that influences how the school acts

is how informed the parent is.

Don't worry that it may alienate them. They won't be your best friend anyway.

Karyn

[Guest guest]

Hi Dawn, thank you for thinking of me. How is doing? I hope you don't

have a s much trouble as I am. Everything was good until the twins teacher quit

over the Christmas holidays. This new teacher is lazy and she does not know how

to do her job. When I tell her something it goes through one ear and out the

other. She makes me so mad my blood boils.

I know it will all get better once we get a good IEP plan in place and put

Hannah and she needs to be. I just hope the new teacher follows the plan the way

she should.

I am going to speak with the special ed director. I am hoping after I speak with

him all of this will seem so much different and better.

Got to run. The Girls have Dr. Appointments in lin today at Cool Springs.

They are seeing an allergist for the first time. I am hoping to see if we can do

something about these chronic runny noses and sinus infections!!!

Have a good day!

Pam mom to Hannah and RAchel age 6 both DS

dawn ligon <DPLigon@...> wrote: Pam, am thinking of you, wish I could

think of something for you, but remember, your love for your girls is so strong

and you are gonna get some answers and things will get better!! My schools here

are not much better and I was even considering home schooling until I can work

with him some more and find a better situation, I know a wonderful sp. ed dir.

in on Co. who I am seeing Sat. I know this isnt your area but wish I

could think of something for you. Everyone is giving you such good advice and I

am learning from it too! Just come to Murfreesboro and see and I anytime

you want, you are in my prayers, Dawn

Re: Now What????

I got the name of the special ed director. I will be calling him tomorrorw to

make an appointment. I will voice all of my concerns with him.

I live in the Tennessee. In Lawrence County. Out county has one of the worse

school districts ever. It is hard to get anything! I was told today by a friend

and 's aid that she doubted very much if they would agree to Hannah being

in regular kindergaten with her own aide. Thsy just don't do that! Gosh! I am in

so much trouble. All of this is so overwhelming. I think I cried last weekend

more than I ever have. All of this is too much sometime. I just want the best

education my girls can get. Sure it is going to take a few mistakes and time to

get there and to know exactly what that is. Wouldn't thses professionals want

the same for their children.

Pam mom to Hannah and age 6 both DS

duffey48@... wrote: In a message dated 4/8/02 11:51:27 PM Eastern Daylight

Time,

charlyne1121@... writes:

> Hi Pam,

> It doesn't quite work that way. I am glad you have an advocate!! It is the

> responsibility of the school to come up with a plan that works. Don't they

> have a school psychologist? They must. Tell the principal that you want

> that

> person to observe and do a functional behavioral assessment. Paddling

> kids???

> What decade are they in. I think they are giving you a good story. I hope

> you

> will document this for your notebook. Call again and do not take no for an

> answer. If he still says no call your special education office in your

> district. Let us know.

Absolutely Charlyne!!! Pam, I can't believe this guy told YOU to come up

with a behavior plan!!! I'd go with Charlyne's advice....and Karyn's.

Donna

[Guest guest]

Colleen, your son should be able to stay in school until he is 21. Pam

[Guest guest]

Hi Colleen,

I share your pain. I have an 18 year old with AS, too. He is a

freshman in college this year, and needs massive amounts of help with

organizational issues, social skills, etc. He was supposedly getting

coaching at college, but they didn't know one end of an Aspie from

the other. It didn't work. So this week we had an appointment with a

life coach who knows a lot about AS. When we brought up 's

issues, she knew *exactly* what we were talking about, and had ideas

about how and when to address them, and which ones we should back off

on. You mentioned that you live in a small town. Maybe it would be

possible to begin a coaching relationship by phone if there's not

someone in your town? Just a thought.

Liz B. where she has brought unseasonably warm weather from

California to Boston LOL

On Dec 13, 2006, at 9:18 PM, Colleen wrote:

> Hi,

> My son is 18 years old and just 1 1/2 credits away from getting his

> diploma. But.... that could take months. He has a lot of health

> problems that prevent him from going to school full time or just

> plain leaving the house.

>

> He is so smart - but when it comes to socializing he is content to

> just stay at home in his comfortable, safe surroundings. When pushed

> to join the outside world his body reacts from the stress in

> migraine headaches and constipation.

>

> So my question to the group is: what is his role in life ever going

> to be? What do you do with an adult with Asperger??? If they are

> severe do they just live at home forever???? or do they ever get

> simple jobs?

>

> We live in a small Midwest town where the people are wonderful and

> friendly and the schools are very understanding, but there aren't

> many programs. Aside from special education in school and working at

> the Goodwill he hasn't really been able to do anything else.

> Originally I am from Seattle, and altho' they have much more support

> for kids like my son, the waiting lists are huge.

>

> I would love to hear your stories.

>

> Thanks,

> Colleen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Colleen...

My son is 19, graduated from high school this past June, and is currently

attending broadcasting school and hopes to have a career in radio. We are

working with our state's Department of Rehabilitation Services (DORS) and they

are paying for most of his tuition...they are also helping us get into the taxi

access program (since my son doesn't have a driver's license) and will help

him obtain employment with the offer of tax credits to a potential employer.

He is doing extremely well in his classes and has obtained two radio

internships already. I think if you could find out what your son is interested

in

in the way of employment, and could work with rehab services, things could

greatly improve...hope this info is encouraging to you...

Blessings,

Gail

[Guest guest]

Colleen,

There are also programs that offer life skills and such. The kids

live in a supervised apartment and are taught how to make menus, make

shopping lists, go grocery shopping, clean the apartment, manage a

bank account, etc. Some programs are run through rehab departments,

others are private and very expensive. For the private ones, if your

son does NOT graduate from high school, sometimes you can get the

school system to pay for the private programs. I know of at least one

private program that's geared specifically toward people aged 18-22

with Asperger's. Let me know if you want more info, and I'll do what

I can to dig it up.

Liz in Sunny Boston

On Dec 13, 2006, at 9:18 PM, Colleen wrote:

> Hi,

> My son is 18 years old and just 1 1/2 credits away from getting his

> diploma. But.... that could take months. He has a lot of health

> problems that prevent him from going to school full time or just

> plain leaving the house.

>

> He is so smart - but when it comes to socializing he is content to

> just stay at home in his comfortable, safe surroundings. When pushed

> to join the outside world his body reacts from the stress in

> migraine headaches and constipation.

>

> So my question to the group is: what is his role in life ever going

> to be? What do you do with an adult with Asperger??? If they are

> severe do they just live at home forever???? or do they ever get

> simple jobs?

>

> We live in a small Midwest town where the people are wonderful and

> friendly and the schools are very understanding, but there aren't

> many programs. Aside from special education in school and working at

> the Goodwill he hasn't really been able to do anything else.

> Originally I am from Seattle, and altho' they have much more support

> for kids like my son, the waiting lists are huge.

>

> I would love to hear your stories.

>

> Thanks,

> Colleen

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Colleen:My boys just turned 18 and we got Vocational Rehab involved. They

will test them and find out what their strengths and weaknesses are, help

them go to school (possibly even pay for it) and help them find a job with

support and possibly even an employer that is open to hiring developmentally

disabled employees. They told us they have sent people to college and paid

for it (depending on funds) and had some who even went on to get their PHD

or MD. They will work with the client as LONG as the client wants them to.

YEARS. Look into it. We got the Vocational Rehab people involved with me

calling them or the school could contact them. One of my

sons has missed over 40 days of school and failed 11th grade so I know ALL

about your son not wanting to leave his cocoon. n is like that. I can

hardly get him to go to his pdoc appt let alone anything else. His twin ,

Noah, is a little more outgoing. But I fear if n doesn't get some

major help (hopefully Voc Rehab) he will end up living in my basement

playing video games until they bury us then What?? I know... Try calling

Vocational Rehab, ok. We also have a place here in Ga. Warm Springs that we

can send him to ( he won't agree right now) that he can get his GED,

drivers training and living in a dorm for 6 months and learn how to advocate

for himself and learn daily living skills. It would be perfect for him but

he is TOO darn stubborn to consider it... It would be perfect for him

because that is exactly what he needs. Learning how to live by himself,

without mama and dad telling him and doing everything for him... They will

know of other programs that will help your son too. They have been doing

this and know who works well with the disabled and what programs would help

and they told us that they would even help pay for their college if " the

boys " agree. The boys are 18 now and can participate or not. Good luck ,

PLEASE let me know what happens. Call them today, they gave me some long

needed HOPE for the future of my boys. So sorry I wrote a book, but you are

walking in my shoes and I wanted to tell you what we are doing for our 18

yos . My dh asked me if I was writing a book over here and I said no,

there's a lady on the list that has an 18 yo that sounds like n, I

started reading your post and he said " did you write that? No, It is from

the lady I was telling you about. Well, he said,sounds just like

n....So hopefully this will help... Toni

( ) Now What????

> Hi,

> My son is 18 years old and just 1 1/2 credits away from getting his

> diploma. But.... that could take months. He has a lot of health

> problems that prevent him from going to school full time or just

> plain leaving the house.

>

> He is so smart - but when it comes to socializing he is content to

> just stay at home in his comfortable, safe surroundings. When pushed

> to join the outside world his body reacts from the stress in

> migraine headaches and constipation.

>

> So my question to the group is: what is his role in life ever going

> to be? What do you do with an adult with Asperger??? If they are

> severe do they just live at home forever???? or do they ever get

> simple jobs?

>

> We live in a small Midwest town where the people are wonderful and

> friendly and the schools are very understanding, but there aren't

> many programs. Aside from special education in school and working at

> the Goodwill he hasn't really been able to do anything else.

> Originally I am from Seattle, and altho' they have much more support

> for kids like my son, the waiting lists are huge.

>

> I would love to hear your stories.

>

> Thanks,

> Colleen

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Colleen,

My ds is almost 18 in a few more weeks. He is also finishing high school this

year. They want him to postpone getting his diploma and send him to the " career

center. " This is a school, sorta like a 2 year college, where they teach job

skills and train you for things like computers, welding, landscaping, etc. My

ds will probably go there but not sure if he will agree to postpone his diploma

to do it.

I worry about jobs and the future as well. My ds does not talk to other people.

I wondered if your ds was taking any medications. In the past we have had good

results with the SSRI meds for handling social anxiety issues. (zoloft, paxil,

prozac, etc.)

You might also check with your state department of developmental disabilities.

They are called different things in different states but they might have some

kind of traning programs he could participate in. Also, ours provides job

coaching as well. The major problem is that they usually do this stuff for

severely disabled people or people with MR. So many of their " job contacts " are

for jobs that would not really be good matches for my ds. I don't know how to

marry the two sides yet. Hope that made sense.

Roxanna

( ) Now What????

Hi,

My son is 18 years old and just 1 1/2 credits away from getting his

diploma. But.... that could take months. He has a lot of health

problems that prevent him from going to school full time or just

plain leaving the house.

He is so smart - but when it comes to socializing he is content to

just stay at home in his comfortable, safe surroundings. When pushed

to join the outside world his body reacts from the stress in

migraine headaches and constipation.

So my question to the group is: what is his role in life ever going

to be? What do you do with an adult with Asperger??? If they are

severe do they just live at home forever???? or do they ever get

simple jobs?

We live in a small Midwest town where the people are wonderful and

friendly and the schools are very understanding, but there aren't

many programs. Aside from special education in school and working at

the Goodwill he hasn't really been able to do anything else.

Originally I am from Seattle, and altho' they have much more support

for kids like my son, the waiting lists are huge.

I would love to hear your stories.

Thanks,

Colleen

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[Guest guest]

Coleen,

Hi There!!

As far as I know, there is no age limit for going to school. Adult continuing

education will fill in any missing credits through tutors at home if he can't

leave the house to complete the courses at school. Everyone has the right to a

high school diploma, unless there is a compelling reason that it is not

achievable by the student. If it takes the next year to get 1 ½ credits, your

son is entitled to it just is anyone else.

Best of Luck

Dave

> Hi,

> My son is 18 years old and just 1 1/2 credits away from getting his

> diploma. But.... that could take months. He has a lot of health

> problems that prevent him from going to school full time or just

> plain leaving the house.

>

> He is so smart - but when it comes to socializing he is content to

> just stay at home in his comfortable, safe surroundings. When pushed

> to join the outside world his body reacts from the stress in

> migraine headaches and constipation.

>

> So my question to the group is: what is his role in life ever going

> to be? What do you do with an adult with Asperger??? If they are

> severe do they just live at home forever???? or do they ever get

> simple jobs?

>

> We live in a small Midwest town where the people are wonderful and

> friendly and the schools are very understanding, but there aren't

> many programs. Aside from special education in school and working at

> the Goodwill he hasn't really been able to do anything else.

> Originally I am from Seattle, and altho' they have much more support

> for kids like my son, the waiting lists are huge.

>

> I would love to hear your stories.

>

> Thanks,

> Colleen

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

I don't have a lot to say, but I can say, being an Aspie myself, I

would have rather stayed home safely and securely. I ended up

getting married to have another safe place to go. I started therapy

after 3-4 years of marriage, and worked on finding ways to get over

my social anxiety. Medication ended up being my 'friend' for that.

Eventually, I found my passion and I found out what it was that made

me tick. That is how I just grew up. Finding a place to be

successful and happy and liked. That is what I found to be important.

Everything depends on the severity and complexity of the issues an

adult is facing. It has taken years for me to think I would be ok by

myself. Working on life skills and safety skills is a big step for

us all.

Time seems to tell all.

Hope that helps!

*smiles*

lisa B

>

> Hi,

> My son is 18 years old and just 1 1/2 credits away from getting

his

> diploma. But.... that could take months. He has a lot of health

> problems that prevent him from going to school full time or just

> plain leaving the house.

>

> He is so smart - but when it comes to socializing he is content to

> just stay at home in his comfortable, safe surroundings. When

pushed

> to join the outside world his body reacts from the stress in

> migraine headaches and constipation.

>

> So my question to the group is: what is his role in life ever

going

> to be? What do you do with an adult with Asperger??? If they are

> severe do they just live at home forever???? or do they ever get

> simple jobs?

>

> We live in a small Midwest town where the people are wonderful and

> friendly and the schools are very understanding, but there aren't

> many programs. Aside from special education in school and working

at

> the Goodwill he hasn't really been able to do anything else.

> Originally I am from Seattle, and altho' they have much more

support

> for kids like my son, the waiting lists are huge.

>

> I would love to hear your stories.

>

> Thanks,

> Colleen

>