Re: my son got kicked out of school today

[Guest guest]

I wouldn't take away his video games. He really did nothing wrong when he

answered the counselor except express how frustrated he was.

The school is totally lying to you. They cannot deny an IEP to a child based on

getting good grades. Please go here and read this article from wrightslaw.com

-->

http://www.wrightslaw.com/advoc/ltrs/eric_eligibility_disputes.htm

In addition, anytime you deal with the school, please write follow up letters

and ask for documentation. If they tell you there is a rule, ask for that rule

in writing for your records. Do not accept what they say as fact.

If someone had told me that they asked the " autism expert " about my child, I

would want to know who this person is, what his/her qualifications are and what

they did - observations? Data collection? Nothing? Sometimes schools promote

people to the position of " autism expert " when they have very few qualifications

for such a job.

If they did a behavior plan, who did it? Were you involved in making this plan?

Ask to see the data they collected when they did a " functional behavior

assessment " (FBA) which should have been done prior to writing a behavior plan.

Ask to see the behavior plan. Ask to see the data they have taken on this

behavior plan to determine whether it is working or not working and why. Ask to

have the behavioral expert come back and redo the behavior plan. Ask who the

person who wrote the behavior plan is and what his/her qualifications are.

Also note that the school is responsible for more than just " good grades. " So

please read a lot on wrightslaw.com, question everything and keep pushing for an

IEP with appropriate services and supports.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) my son got kicked out of school today

They say they have asked for advice from the Autism Expert but because he

does well academically they can just do a behavior plan and nothing else. I

have requested social skills training and an aide but they say he doesn't

qualify.

I believe his comments were for sure the result of feeling like he has no

friends and all the abuse he gets from kids then when he goes to adults

nothing

happens to them just him.

I don't know if every other Asperger child is way worse than him and that's

why they get help but if it's bad enought that they kick him out I would think

he requires some help by the school. The problem is I think they just

don't know what to do. The behavior plan doesn't work because he reacts pretty

quickly without thinking.

I also don't know what to do about punishing him. He loves video games and

the internet games so I told him he can't play. Now he is having a fit

saying he wishes he was dead or never born. What do you do in a situation like

this? Just let it go without disciplining? Ughhhh.

[Guest guest]

He sounds really Aspie. lol. And yes, all of those things are related to

having AS. As for the principal at the first school, I can understand why you

don't want to go back there. But a good attorney might be a catalyst to change

for that unfeeling principal. <g> You can usually find an attorney in your

area by looking on http://www.copaa.org/

Roxanna

Re: ( ) my son got kicked out of school today

I just have to say thank you to everyone in this group. It is sooooo nice

to have support when you feel like your world is falling apart. You all are

so kind and it means the world to me that you take the time to help me during

this very difficult time.

In response to Connie, I don't know for sure if he knows. I ask him and he

says yes but then he starts talking about what ever game he is into, like no

big deal that he was expelled. I don't know if he really cares about the

consequences or doesn't understand. I know for sure he doesn't think about

consequences when he has his " outbursts " . We warned him several times that " if

you scream they can kick you out " but that didn't stop it. Another thing

that I would like to know....is everything has to revolve around and be about

him an Asperger trait? I mean as long as he is getting his way with everything

than he tends to be fine. If he doesn't get his way (most of the time) oh

my goodness cover your ears. He also says embarrassing things like we went to

my daughters UIL contest and he says loudly " this is the most boring thing I

have ever been to. When will it be over? " He also picks his nose and

doesn't care who is watching and he constantly takes his shoes on and off, on

and

off and the talking to himself thing is constant. It is so strange. I ask

him who he is talking to and he says " oh myself " . There are so many things.

About the attorney thing...I don't know if I have any rights in the other

district since I don't pay taxes there but certainly here he should have

rights. I tell you though if he were to go back there I guarantee that

Principal

would gloat that he didn't make it at another school and he would for sure be

blamed for everything. It's such a tough spot to be in.

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I am catching up and reading all these wonderful posts. I am so sad

that you are going through this. It is so unfair to you and your

family.

Be strong for your son and family. It will help you through these

tough times. All autism families seem to suffer so much as their

children grow up. I say this to cheer you on........because a

little support/praise and encouragement can help :>)

Please buy some books from Winner. She tells you

exactly what social skills/behavior plans will help your son. She

breaks many of these skills into wonderful, easy to apply lessons.

Her website is http://www.socialthinking.com

Please buy one of her books. You will immediately understand why

when you start reading. She tells you about her therapy work and

her ASD stories. You will immediately see in one of her stories

your son, just like I have. From there, you will then read on on

how to address their struggles within the Autism spectrum with

specific lessons. Many can be adapted to your son to meet his need.

As to medication, they can help. Try to start out with low dosages

if at all possible. That way you can always get out easier. You

can also do natural medicines and herbs......unfortunately my

son is still stuck with psychotropic medications. I am trying to

slowly work him carefully away or reduce them (my thoughts are like

yours " don't mask " or " blanket " the root issue).

There are of so many options and " cures " , but in reality there is no

perfect one-pill/treatment that will apply in your situation.

There is a highly regarded attorney here in Dallas in the special

education world should you choose this route. Let me say though

that this is an emotional drain and also costs money........I can

tell you truthfully because I am presently going through an EEOC

legal action against an abusive supervisor when I tried to help my

Asperger son in a work situation. I am have spent about ten months

so far (fairly fast for the EEOC), so it takes time too........

Here is her website/office.

http://www.specialed4kids.net/

Best Regards

Mark

>

> He sounds really Aspie. lol. And yes, all of those things are

related to having AS. As for the principal at the first school, I

can understand why you don't want to go back there. But a good

attorney might be a catalyst to change for that unfeeling

principal. <g> You can usually find an attorney in your area by

looking on http://www.copaa.org/

>

> Roxanna

> Re: ( ) my son got kicked out of school

today

>

>

> I just have to say thank you to everyone in this group. It is

sooooo nice

> to have support when you feel like your world is falling apart.

You all are

> so kind and it means the world to me that you take the time to

help me during

> this very difficult time.

>

> In response to Connie, I don't know for sure if he knows. I ask

him and he

> says yes but then he starts talking about what ever game he is

into, like no

> big deal that he was expelled. I don't know if he really cares

about the

> consequences or doesn't understand. I know for sure he doesn't

think about

> consequences when he has his " outbursts " . We warned him several

times that " if

> you scream they can kick you out " but that didn't stop it.

Another thing

> that I would like to know....is everything has to revolve around

and be about

> him an Asperger trait? I mean as long as he is getting his way

with everything

> than he tends to be fine. If he doesn't get his way (most of the

time) oh

> my goodness cover your ears. He also says embarrassing things

like we went to

> my daughters UIL contest and he says loudly " this is the most

boring thing I

> have ever been to. When will it be over? " He also picks his nose

and

> doesn't care who is watching and he constantly takes his shoes

on and off, on and

> off and the talking to himself thing is constant. It is so

strange. I ask

> him who he is talking to and he says " oh myself " . There are so

many things.

>

> About the attorney thing...I don't know if I have any rights in

the other

> district since I don't pay taxes there but certainly here he

should have

> rights. I tell you though if he were to go back there I

guarantee that Principal

> would gloat that he didn't make it at another school and he

would for sure be

> blamed for everything. It's such a tough spot to be in.

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

, make sure they give reasons for refusing a service, support, or IEP

in writing. You can begin to document and save " proof " (suspensions, any

trouble he has on a daily basis in school) and prove the need for an IEP and an

aide. An IEP is based on NEEDS not a diagnosis. Pam