Re: my son got kicked out of school today

[Guest guest]

:

Does your child have an active IEP? If so then your child must be provided

with a functional behavioral assessment in order for him to fully access the

curriculum and therefore receive educational benefit. What state are you in?

If you are in CA why don't you email me privately and I might be able to

assist you. If you are outside of CA then I would suggest that you contact an

advocate or attorney immediately. They cannot " kick " your son out of school.

The principal at the prior school district was way out of line and could

probably be fired for such comments.

Connie Ajay

[Guest guest]

Connie,

I live in Texas. No, they did not have an IEP in place. Even though he has

a formal diagnosis, they said he is too bright academically to receive any

special ed. or IEP. They came up with some behavior plan but they say it's

not working. He gets picked on all the time because he is a little different.

Children will slap his face back and forth, push him and tell him he is

gross. In fact, we went to a choir program at school and I wanted to bawl

because when he stood up to narrate many children said " oooooooooooo " . I was

so

devastated. It broke my heart. I mentioned it to the Principal and he said he

can't teach the other children to be nice. It's up to the parents.

My other problem is that because this school is out of district, they don't

have to accept him or keep him there. We would have to go back to the school

in our district and I just can't do that to him with that Principal there.

I just don't know what to do. I know now that since his transfer has been

revoked because of behavior problems and will be in his permanent record that

no other school in another district will take him. I thought about

homeschooling but I don't know what curriculum is best for children with

Asperger's.

Oh, I am sooooo stressed out. It's also frustrating that there are no schools

specifically for children with Asperger's in Texas. I don't know what I am

going to do now.

[Guest guest]

, I'm so sorry your going through this. I don't really know much of the

legal aspects though I don't see how it could be ok for them to do this. We

moved to a very small town in another state last year ( came back home this year

) and I was trying to help my son without meds, at the time we were told it was

ADHD, and I explained this to the school and his teacher. They kept taking away

privlages, he was not allowed to stand in line during lunch instead he had to

sit with the principal until everyone else got thier food then the principal

took him through the line and sat with him at a table by themselves while he

ate. After about 3 weeks the principal called me and told me not to send my son

back to school until he was on meds. So I kinda understand what your going

through and I know it's tough but fight for him if at all possible. My kids are

back in the school they were in the year before we left and it makes me wish I

had never moved them from that school. It is

such a great school! Everyone is interested in helping all my kids and I can't

begin to describe how much of a relief it has been and hoping it stays as we're

not through testing and evals yet. I hope in some way my words help. Just

remember there is always light on the other side of the rainbow sometimes it's

just really hard to get to. But it's worth it when you do. Good luck and God

bless.-- Alisha

Theweaverfive@... wrote: My son was going to a school in our school

district last year but was

treated horribly by the Principal. She said he was an unlikeable child and would

likely never be liked. So, we transferred him to a new school district this

year. Well, today he was kicked out of school because he had two " referrals "

for screaming outbursts because someone cut in line. I don't know what to do

now. Is he doomed to not go to any school. Why isn't there a school that

knows something about Asperger's? It is so frustrating because he is a very

bright child and no school wants him. I could send him back to the school in

our district but that Principal is so hateful. What do I do?

[Guest guest]

,

I'm not sure where you are in Texas or if you are looking for a public

school, but The Monarch School is in Houston and is listed on the OASIS

website as a school for kids 4-16 with AS. Here's the url

http://www.monarchschool.org/

Leah

[Guest guest]

,

I also found this phone number for a group in Dallas that helps parents

dealing with schools re: AS kids. It's free:

*_Advocacy, Inc._* - A Dallas, TX agency that exists to help parents in

disputes with the schools at no charge if they take the case and also

have a lot of information for parents needing clarification of their

children's rights - (214) 630-0916

The website I found it on is http://www.aspergerinfo.org. It's the site

for D.A.N.I.S.H. (Dallas Asperger Network for Information, Support and

Help.) They seem to have a lot of good info and links for Texas,

including homeschooling resources.

Leah

[Guest guest]

,

I am sorry your family is going through this with the school system in Texas.

Our family had a rough time in Peoria, IL before moving back to our homestate of

North Carolina. All that moving was job related. Anyway, in Peoria I

homeschooled my child some. The school system up there said my daughter was

severely autistic which she is not. In fact the school system in NC has not

finished her evaluation yet, but they suspect a " mild or slight case of AS " .

They expect my daughter to be mainstreamed and I am glad.

I apologize for jumping around in topic so much. I got some learning

challenges myself. Anyway, back to the point I was going to make about

homeschooling.

I know people that have successfully homeschooled AS children but its

extremely difficult. The hardest thing about homeschooling is socialization. You

are on the run more than with public school trying to take your child to social

events. Its important for the child to continue trying to make friends. We were

fortunate in Peoria, IL and here in NC that the church community is

understanding. My daughter has been able to make friends in her own time and not

in the " instant pushy " manner most people expect children to warm up to.

Homeschool curriculum can be expensive. You get what you pay for is a lesson I

learned the hard way. I purchased an inexpensive set of books from a Christian

University in IL and that is the quality of book I recieved. The pages were

monotone in color and not excited for my child. I ended up paying McGraw-Hill

books from Borders or a simuliar bookstore.

Your first step should be to inquire about the homeschool laws in Texas. Each

state is different. For example, the state of IL required no record keeping from

me just registration. One big reason we choose not to homeschool in NC (besides

socialization) is the massive amount of paperwork they require. If you decide to

homeschool you should know up front that by Federal law the county where you

live is still required to provide basic services to your child such as access to

a gym for PE or therapy. It can be difficult to secure but under No Child Left

Behind they are supposed to still offer those services to a homeschooling

parent. That is what I was informed of by my support group while in IL.

My heart breaks with you about your son being picked on in school. That

Principal is dead wrong, because it is a Principal's job to make the children in

a given school behave. Many schools in this area have a " No Tolerance " policy

toward such situations. That is not to say it does not happen but it is rare.

I will stop rambling now.

Here is a big hug from me to you & your son {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}

High Point, NC

Theweaverfive@... wrote:

Connie,

I live in Texas. No, they did not have an IEP in place. Even though he has

a formal diagnosis, they said he is too bright academically to receive any

special ed. or IEP. They came up with some behavior plan but they say it's

not working. He gets picked on all the time because he is a little different.

Children will slap his face back and forth, push him and tell him he is

gross. In fact, we went to a choir program at school and I wanted to bawl

because when he stood up to narrate many children said " oooooooooooo " . I was so

devastated. It broke my heart. I mentioned it to the Principal and he said he

can't teach the other children to be nice. It's up to the parents.

My other problem is that because this school is out of district, they don't

have to accept him or keep him there. We would have to go back to the school

in our district and I just can't do that to him with that Principal there.

I just don't know what to do. I know now that since his transfer has been

revoked because of behavior problems and will be in his permanent record that

no other school in another district will take him. I thought about

homeschooling but I don't know what curriculum is best for children with

Asperger's.

Oh, I am sooooo stressed out. It's also frustrating that there are no schools

specifically for children with Asperger's in Texas. I don't know what I am

going to do now.

[Guest guest]

, where are you located? Pam

[Guest guest]

,

Does your son have an IEP? Write to the Special Ed Director & ask for

one keep a copy for yourself. He is special needs (asperger) & should have an

IEP. That was very rude of the Principal to say that about your son. She needs

to go to an Asperger Web Site to learn more about his DX before she thinks she

knows him. Good Luck,Betty

Theweaverfive@... wrote:

My son was going to a school in our school district last year but was

treated horribly by the Principal. She said he was an unlikeable child and would

likely never be liked. So, we transferred him to a new school district this

year. Well, today he was kicked out of school because he had two " referrals "

for screaming outbursts because someone cut in line. I don't know what to do

now. Is he doomed to not go to any school. Why isn't there a school that

knows something about Asperger's? It is so frustrating because he is a very

bright child and no school wants him. I could send him back to the school in

our district but that Principal is so hateful. What do I do?

[Guest guest]

We live about an hour north of Austin in a town called Salado.

Here is what my sons problem is....He is like I said very bright but he OVER

reacts to many things. He does some strange things that make other children

make fun of him such as...talk to himself, take his shoes on and off,

constantly talks about Pokemon, makes cat noises (he loves kitties).

He will freak out if things aren't done the way he thinks they should be

done. Mainly all of this comes out with him screaming sometimes very loud. Or

he will say " nobody likes me, I wish I was dead, I guess you just want me to

kill myself. " Really weird stuff like that. At school the other day when he

had his outburst about the kid cutting in line the counselor sat down with

him. She asked him what he wanted to do when he grew up. He said he wanted

design video games. She asked what kind of video games. He said ones where

you can blow up schools and Principals. I just about died when I heard this.

Not my sweet boy. He is always so gentle. I am in total shock. Well, I

think ultimately they were probably afraid that he would come to the school and

do that to them. I asked my son why he would say such a thing. He said it

was just in a video game and I was just going to make the game where you can

punch them out. I just don't know how that would even be in his mind. He

is always so gentle.

All of this will be in his permanent record so I have no options about

transferring to another school district. No one will take a behavior problem.

I

also have three other children. None with Aspergers. Two have had to be

shuffled around to all the various schools that my son has gone to because

theres no time in the morning to go to several schools before work. Are there

any

homeschool programs specifically for Asperger children? I would move

somewhere for him but I have a husband who has a good job, I have a good job,

and I

have three other children. I just don't know what to do because is it fair

to him to not move? Is it fair to everyone else to move?

The problem is he is like I said bright and he looks normal so people just

think he is a brat. He doesn't know how to communicate about people picking

on him so he gets blamed when he reacts.

HELP,

[Guest guest]

My son is 9 and in 4th grade. I wrote to our congressman, state rep. and

the the Commissioner of the Texas Education Agency. Maybe they can help. My

only problem with homeschooling is that I would have to quit working. Which

could make things a little difficult for us financially. Many people have told

me that I should medicate him. I don't believe in masking the problem for

the adults sake. I don't know. There are so many things to think about and

not much time.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/9/2006 8:39:07 A.M. Eastern Standard Time,

Theweaverfive@... writes:

The problem is he is like I said bright and he looks normal so people just

think he is a brat. He doesn't know how to communicate about people picking

on him so he gets blamed when he reacts.

This is an AS trait, they don't know how to react in social situations it

sounds as though you need a good advocate, did u call your district and ask for

the autism specialist to come and observe and come up with a plan? As far

as him saying he was going to make a video game like that it prob came after

he got in trouble and he was angry with the school so DUH what else is he

going to say when they ask him that. How old is your son, you have to keep

fighting to get him the right placement my son also is very bright and was

really

considered a problem in middle school, but since he was having so many

outbursts as they put it, I requested an aide to be with him to control other

kids

teasing him we had to resort to that. I had them do that until they could do

an FBA to find out what was pushing him over the edge but they did this all

only after I brought a very good advocate with me.

[Guest guest]

They say they have asked for advice from the Autism Expert but because he

does well academically they can just do a behavior plan and nothing else. I

have requested social skills training and an aide but they say he doesn't

qualify.

I believe his comments were for sure the result of feeling like he has no

friends and all the abuse he gets from kids then when he goes to adults nothing

happens to them just him.

I don't know if every other Asperger child is way worse than him and that's

why they get help but if it's bad enought that they kick him out I would think

he requires some help by the school. The problem is I think they just

don't know what to do. The behavior plan doesn't work because he reacts pretty

quickly without thinking.

I also don't know what to do about punishing him. He loves video games and

the internet games so I told him he can't play. Now he is having a fit

saying he wishes he was dead or never born. What do you do in a situation like

this? Just let it go without disciplining? Ughhhh.

[Guest guest]

My son is 9.

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/9/2006 12:04:15 P.M. Eastern Standard Time,

Theweaverfive@... writes:

They say they have asked for advice from the Autism Expert but because he

does well academically they can just do a behavior plan and nothing else. I

have requested social skills training and an aide but they say he doesn't

qualify.

that is not correct my son did very well academically they are giving you

some wrong information get an advocate maybe PAM on this list can tell you who

to call. My son was getting all A's but having behavior difficulties such as

the ones your son is having and they still provided him with an aide because

it was interfering with his right to a free education being teased and

bullied by the other kids.

[Guest guest]

:

You really need an attorney specializing in special education. There are so

many numerous violations regarding the aspects of your son's education that

they need to be handled by an attorney. Not to scare you but without an IEP,

or some notice from an attorney that your child was never serviced by the

district, even though you consistently asked for assistance, means that your

child will be treated as a normal child that had knowledge and perspective of

his actions, which in this case is not so. Additionally should the situation

ever escalate to where law enforcement has to be called they can and will

arrest and prosecute your child as if he was a typical child. PLEASE contact

an

attorney.

As far as punishing him you need to be very sure that he understands (and

had full knowledge) what he did was wrong and he did it anyway. The purpose of

punishment is to discipline a child in order for them to not do the

inappropriate behavior therefore they must have an understanding of the actions

that

were inappropriate to begin with. Does your son understand cause and effect?

For example, you do A behavior so this lead to B effect. For those of us

with full executive function capacity this cause and effect is easy. A + B =

C. However for people with autism executive dysfunction is very common.

They are unable to organize their thoughts sufficiently to be able to

understand

the consequences (or rewards) of their actions. Even if they understood it

yesterday they may not be able to process the information today. That is why

the higher functioning students often time get in trouble because adults and

professionals around them assume that since he did it yesterday he should

" remember " and be able to do it today. That is not always the cause. You can

read up more on executive dysfunction on the internet just google the words

" executive dysfunction " and you will get TONS of information.

Good luck and please seek legal counsel. This link will take you to

slaw which is a website run by Pete the best attorney for special

education rights. There are several attorneys listed for Texas and other

information _http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/tx.htm_

(http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/tx.htm)

Connie Ajay

[Guest guest]

I just have to say thank you to everyone in this group. It is sooooo nice

to have support when you feel like your world is falling apart. You all are

so kind and it means the world to me that you take the time to help me during

this very difficult time.

In response to Connie, I don't know for sure if he knows. I ask him and he

says yes but then he starts talking about what ever game he is into, like no

big deal that he was expelled. I don't know if he really cares about the

consequences or doesn't understand. I know for sure he doesn't think about

consequences when he has his " outbursts " . We warned him several times that " if

you scream they can kick you out " but that didn't stop it. Another thing

that I would like to know....is everything has to revolve around and be about

him an Asperger trait? I mean as long as he is getting his way with everything

than he tends to be fine. If he doesn't get his way (most of the time) oh

my goodness cover your ears. He also says embarrassing things like we went to

my daughters UIL contest and he says loudly " this is the most boring thing I

have ever been to. When will it be over? " He also picks his nose and

doesn't care who is watching and he constantly takes his shoes on and off, on

and

off and the talking to himself thing is constant. It is so strange. I ask

him who he is talking to and he says " oh myself " . There are so many things.

About the attorney thing...I don't know if I have any rights in the other

district since I don't pay taxes there but certainly here he should have

rights. I tell you though if he were to go back there I guarantee that

Principal

would gloat that he didn't make it at another school and he would for sure be

blamed for everything. It's such a tough spot to be in.

[Guest guest]

, I would give home schooling a try. You don't say how old your son is,

but we had

similar problems with Ian (now 15yo) when he was in third grade. We pulled him

out and I

home schooled him for two years while he got old enough to have more emotional

control.

Then we reintroduced him to public school. It saved him from all the emotional

turmoil

that being unable to find a proper placement for him in the public schools was

causing.

Looking back on it, he told me recently that he's really glad I did that for

him.

I know home schooling can look impossible when you're first starting out. I

really felt

overwhelmed, but it was actually easier on me than the constant worry about what

was

going wrong at school every day, and the expectation that I was somehow going to

fix

insoluable problems when I wasn't even there and nobody would listen to my

advice.

Hugs and sympathy to your son and to you. This situation is so typical and so

unfair.

Sue C.

>

> My son was going to a school in our school district last year but was

> treated horribly by the Principal. She said he was an unlikeable child and

would

> likely never be liked. So, we transferred him to a new school district this

> year. Well, today he was kicked out of school because he had two " referrals "

> for screaming outbursts because someone cut in line. I don't know what to do

> now. Is he doomed to not go to any school. Why isn't there a school that

> knows something about Asperger's? It is so frustrating because he is a very

> bright child and no school wants him. I could send him back to the school in

> our district but that Principal is so hateful. What do I do?

>

>

[Guest guest]

Here is the info on your local Parent Information Training Centers. Call

the one that is closest to you. They should be able to help you navigate and

what steps to take next. Below, also see the information for your local

Protection and Advocacy Center (Disability Law). Pam

PARENT TRAINING AND INFORMATION PROJECTS

Janice and Meyer, Co-Directors

Partners Resource Network, Inc.

1090 Longfellow Drive, Suite B

Beaumont, TX 77706-4819

(409) 898-4684; (800) 866-4726 (In TX)

E-mail: path@...

URL: _www.PartnersTx.org_ (http://www.partnerstx.org/)

Agnes A.

Grassroots Consortium

6202 Belmark

P.O. Box 61628

Houston, TX 77208-1628

(713) 643-9576

E-mail: SpecKids@...

Yvette Hinojosa

Project PODER

1017 N. Main Avenue, Suite 207

San , TX 78212

(210) 222-2637; (800) 682-9747 (in TX only)

E-mail: _poder@..._ (mailto:poder@...)

PROTECTION AND ADVOCACY AGENCY

Comstock-Galagan, Executive Director

Advocacy, Inc.

7800 Shoal Creek Blvd., Suite 171-E

Austin, TX 78757

(512) 454-4816; (800) 252-9108 (In TX)

[Guest guest]

Where can I find that book? I have been looking for something like that for

a long time. Although now he has no school to read it to.

Thanks,

[Guest guest]

,

Aside from the Risperdal helping him personally, his class has been

reading " Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome? " which has really

helped increase the awareness of his peers and teachers. I highly

recommend getting a copy to share with his class, if he's open to it.

It's been a huge help for my son the past 2 years. Since you would like

to avoid using medication, another suggestion that has helped our son is

weekly sessions with a therapist.

Leah

Theweaverfive@... wrote:

>

> We live about an hour north of Austin in a town called Salado.

>

> Here is what my sons problem is....He is like I said very bright but

> he OVER

> reacts to many things. He does some strange things that make other

> children

> make fun of him such as...talk to himself, take his shoes on and off,

> constantly talks about Pokemon, makes cat noises (he loves kitties).

>

[Guest guest]

Well, the problem is they don't want to give him an IEP. He has a formal

diagnosis but everyone says and said all they would do is a behavior plan. How

do you make them. I just don't know where to go from here now that he has

been kicked out.

[Guest guest]

Connie is right. If you child has an IEP, he has a FEDERALLY

protected right to a Free and Appropriate Education. No other

children in the United States have this right, only if you have an IEP.

[Guest guest]

Here's the amazon link for the book:

http://www.amazon.com/Can-Tell-About-Asperger-Syndrome/dp/1843102064/sr=8-1/qid=\

1165713512/ref=sr_1_1/102-9198670-3991367?ie=UTF8 & s=books

Can I Tell You About Asperger Syndrome?: A Guide for Friends and Family

(Paperback)

by Jude Welton

<http://www.amazon.com/s/102-9198670-3991367?ie=UTF8 & index=books & rank=-relevance\

%2C%2Bavailability%2C-daterank & field-author-exact=Welton%2C%20Jude>

Theweaverfive@... wrote:

>

> Where can I find that book? I have been looking for something like

> that for

> a long time. Although now he has no school to read it to.

>

> Thanks,

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

:

This is why you need an professional advocate or attorney to assist you in

the process. This is beyond letter writing and formal requests. You need a

professional no matter what district you place your son.

Higher functioning students are often just focused upon in academics but

often time are neglected to be serviced in the areas of social skills, which

school districts must take into account. Furthermore if you look deeper and do

appropriate testing it will determine that they really do have academic

issues in particular in reading comprehension. They usually are fluent readers

but are unable to understand and comprehend what the heck they just read. This

often time happens in the higher grade levels. In addition they usually

have terrible executive function skills and require assistance.

Connie Ajay

[Guest guest]

You definitly need an Advocate to help you with this. Call your local Mental

Health Clinic & ask if they know any Advocates for your son to get an IEP.

Good Luck,Betty

Theweaverfive@... wrote:

Well, the problem is they don't want to give him an IEP. He has a

formal

diagnosis but everyone says and said all they would do is a behavior plan. How

do you make them. I just don't know where to go from here now that he has

been kicked out.