Guest guest Posted January 16, 2007 Report Share Posted January 16, 2007 I am very glad that you are not offended!!! And glad to hear that you are feeling better!!!! Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: Please do not think I am offended at all. I thought we were discussing and I disagreed with you. Now you have explained further and I can see what you meant to say. But I am not sitting around all upset with anyone. In fact, I had the flu the past week and am just getting myself back to human again. So trying to catch up! I think it's wonderful to accept our kids and love them for all their joys. We do that anyway - we are parents! There is a culture out there of people who mostly self-dx'd themselves with autism as adults. Dare you mention " therapy " or working on any " problem area " and they blast you for messing with perfection. It's that type of attitude that I am against. I also do not view autism as any sort of " gift " and I feel my kids gifts are theirs because of who they are and not because they are autistic. So I don't understand it when people say they wouldn't " cure " autism because they think the way their kid thinks is cute. Or whatever they feel autism has gifted their child with. Why is it so hard to believe that a child has gifts despite autism and not due to autism? Not that you did that - just that this was the way the thread was going here and why I popped in to say I disagree. So don't worry - all is well here and I am not offended. Roxanna Re: ( ) Re:Autism Cure, huh? Well said !!! I totally agree that as much as I would like to see a cause and cure for autisim and in our case TS as well, I think that it is just as important for the people around to be cured of their ignorance!!!!!!!! Our children especially with high functioning or mild TS really wouldn't have much of a problem in this world if it weren't for society!!!! It is sad when it seems so simlply fixed if people could just see that they are the problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People have said to me that they are sorry for the disorders that Ezra has (although I know they mean well) I am not sorry, he is who he is, I am just sorry that more people don't understand!!! Thanks, advocateforaspies <advocateforaspies@...> wrote: A huge portion of the replies were not bad, in my opinion. It wasn't anything where someone said that they would not want autism cured, but this is my POV..... (from what I said and what I read) The high functioning (aka mild Aspergers, perhaps) kids need to be understood more than being cured. If the cure comes, that can help our lower functioning kids or our kids that just can't cope, fantastic. As I mentioned, I would like to see a bigger cure of the people around that don't get A.S. and need to understand it and not be such jerks (IMHO, though rather harsh Opinion) While we are working on figuring out what autism is, (and people are working hard on that) we need to also be focusing on the 'other individuals' that are so hard on our kids. Sure we want to cure what is so bad for our kids, but from my perspective (and I think many others) the higher functioning our kids, the more we want to work on what is right (not wrong) and we should find a way to use our kids talents to better the world, or better anything for that matter. Our bright little kids that may have some difficulties wouldn't have nearly the difficulties if those around them would handel them better. I think I saw a lot that agree with you, Roxanne. We want our kids that just can't make it in the world (lack of communication with words, lack of being able to function in society) to be helped and for someone to find out what is wrong and help them so that things can be right. For the rest, we need more of a cure for the folks around them that can't handle them. (for that matter anyone that can't handle any of our kids, despite the label.) I think that will be part of my force in talking to people. We all need to work on understanding our kids, despite their difficulties. Find out what is wrong, understand how to work with them, and always be understanding. After all, I believe it is our mankind (or human kind. whatever) that has messed up with our kids (chemicals, poor treatment) and so it needs to be all of us to work together as a 'team' to make things right.... I hope they do find a cure.... a cure for mans misconceptions, a cure for the diseases, illness and problems that people don't understand, and a reason for autism, as well as a way to help our kids so that when they are born, they can grow the proper way and not loose what they do loose to autism. Our kids do deserve that, and I think everyone that posted agrees with that. *hugs* B Personally, while > curing my sons autism would be great, it is part of > > who he is. Am I the only one who is worried taking about the > quirky part > > of him would change him? > > > > Rathswohl > > Deaf Services Coordinator > > Dayle McIntosh Center > > 714 621 3300 x 341 voice > > 714 620 8370 fax > > mrathswohl@ > > > > NOTICE: This message, together with any attachments is intended > only for > > the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed and > may > > contain information that is confidential and prohibited from > disclosure. > > If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified > that any > > dissemination or copy reproduction of this message is strictly > > prohibited. If you have received this message in error, notify > the > > original sender immediately and delete this message and any > attachments > > from your computer > > > > If this communication involves discussion of patient care issues > in the > > performance improvement process, it is protected from discovery > by > > California Evidence Code 1157 as a confidential medical staff > > communication. > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2007 Report Share Posted January 16, 2007 LOL, Roxanna, you said the same exact words as our therapist said. " People can disagree with each other, and that's OK " . when I disagreed with something he said, He stated: isn't it great we can have different opinions, and we can still talk to each other.? Roxanna <madideas@...> wrote: I don't see disagreeing as " attacking. " I disagree and there is nothing wrong with that. Roxanna ( ) Re:Autism Cure, huh? What I meant about the cure for CF and Tay Sachs is that they are life threating, and life ending diseases. I don't think there will be a cure in the near future, and to be totally honest, I am not sure I would be the first person to jump at it. It would be pretty new and not fully tested. What if what they consider a cure makes it worse? I am not putting my child through possible pain and agony when most of his issues are controlled by either medication or behavioral modification. I guess because Lucas is very high funtioning, I don't see his having AS as being limited or disabled. We have worked really hard to teach him the rules of society and to help him work with social stories. I never said I was opposed to a cure, just that I am very unsure about the results for my child. He is truly the most amazing person I know, and I don't consider him " Broken " so a " Cure " to " Fix him " is not a priority to me. For me, the priority is getting through the 4th grade, and dealing with the " girlfriend " problems. Good lord, I never realized that 9-10 year olds understood that much about dating or sex! I am sorry that the cure is not my priority. I obviously must not walk in your shoes...having said that you aren't in mine. Please, this board is supposed to be a good place, and attacking one another is not going to help. I respect you opinions, just they are different then mine. Thank you, Personally, while > > curing my sons autism would be great, it is part of > > > who he is. Am I the only one who is worried taking about the > > quirky part > > > of him would change him? > > > > > > Rathswohl > > > Deaf Services Coordinator > > > Dayle McIntosh Center > > > 714 621 3300 x 341 voice > > > 714 620 8370 fax > > > mrathswohl@ > > > > > > NOTICE: This message, together with any attachments is intended > > only for > > > the use of the individual or entity to which it is addressed > and > > may > > > contain information that is confidential and prohibited from > > disclosure. > > > If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified > > that any > > > dissemination or copy reproduction of this message is strictly > > > prohibited. If you have received this message in error, notify > > the > > > original sender immediately and delete this message and any > > attachments > > > from your computer > > > > > > If this communication involves discussion of patient care > issues > > in the > > > performance improvement process, it is protected from discovery > > by > > > California Evidence Code 1157 as a confidential medical staff > > > communication. > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 17, 2007 Report Share Posted January 17, 2007 Thank you, . Some people just need to be *itch slapped. I can't believe they are ignorant. I talked to a guy on the bus the other day who said he has 4 kids, one of whom is Autistic. " .. but he doesn't look autistic. " I could only laugh. It was HIS kid!! If anyone should know that nobody 'looks' autistic, he should. Jeesh!! Dave Re: ( ) Re:Autism Cure, huh? I hate nothing more than judgement and ill placed comments by other people!! I bought this shirt. it states " parenting advise not appreicated unless you also have an autistic child " . alex has a shirt that says " Im Austic, whats your excuse? " and " what, is my autism showing? " I hope these will at least stop unkind unsolicited comments. May not stop people from thinking things about me and my kid... but willgive them something to think about! go to cafepress.com.. they have tons of shirts about asd... prices are ok.. i just like instant gradification and made my own! The sayings on the shirts are awesome. Donna B <donnabzy@...> wrote: To be completely honest though, unless we're living with the family, how do we *really* know? I'd hate for someone to think they were helping me become a better parent unless they were around enough to really know, especially if we're just talking discipline. Obviously, there are things you do speak to people about, but just because our style isn't theirs, does that make theirs wrong? I guess I'm really sensitive to this -- I've had so many people make comments about my son's behavior, and the fact that we homeschool and have a larger-than-normal family size has given more reason for people to comment even though it's none of their business. (We are non-spankers...you'd be amazed how many people think a good spanking is all my son needs, ha.) I should just develop a thicker skin, but I also think people ought to think twice before they comment, too -- will it really the person/family, or make them feel even more overwhelmed than they already feel? I'm sure there are days people think I'm not the best mom or that my patience is gone, but they don't know what I was dealing with before they came around, or what just happened two minutes before..if I got any sleep...if I can't pay the medical bills...if we're trying a new med that's only making things worse. So many reasons for people to parent like they do, you know? Rose wrote: > > Hello , > you are right to say that some people just speak before they think. > But I have to tell you, I know a parent with two children that they > say are autistic. but one, (child #1) they keep after, boy oh boy, > that kid can't do " anything " without a comment being said...every > moment of the day, they observe him and correct " e v e r yyyyyy " move > he makes!!! I feel so bad for him. but the other child. woo oh, can > get away with anything. and if you tell child #2 something/anything to > correct that child, that child will have a temper fit. so, they don't > say anything to child #2 to avoid that temper. Child #2 provokes Child > #1 and when child #1 reacts to child #2, He will gets into mega > trouble! While child #2 does whatever.... its so sad to see this, but > while I'm over there house, I'm told, you don't see the whole thing! > But, I'm seeing the whole things now. so do others, but when they say > anything about child #2 behavior - they get " fever " from parents. > While they > are out in public/stores etc.., Child #2 gets anything that is asked > for because the parents say, Child #2 behaves so well. LOL, I've seen > Child #2 steal, lie in my face, and get away with everything. Parents > don't see a thing. (so they pretend) and If child #2 gets caught in > action. Parents will protect and justify the situation to make it look > right. Ohhh boy. (big time drama). > I'm not speaking of you with your case, because I don't know you at > all. but sometimes, it is the poor parenting that the child behaves > like they do. Child #2 has been acting/getting away with inappropriate > behavior since Child #2 was 3 years old. Now, they conveniently blame > it on puberty. If that was true. LOL Child #2 has been in puberty > since 3year old... > It is wrong for someone to judge someone in a supermarket that they > don't know. but, when you do know the family, and you see what is > happening. I would think the person should say something " to wake up > the parents " and if the parents are defensive. the parents really need > to look at their situation...because poor parenting hurts the > child.....*smile* > <mrathswohl@... <mailto:mrathswohl%40daylemc.org>> wrote: > I have hear this so many times myself. I have people tell me that we > are wrong, that he is just a brat, that he is totally normal. Once in > the grocery store, he was kinda frustrated and having a hard time. My > mom was walking behind me, and these people made a commend about I > should learn to control my kid, and my mom looked at them and > said " he is autistic " and the lady said " I don't care if he is > artistic, he is being a brat " I could have just strangled her, but I > laughed instead. I have also had people make comments about me > medicating Lucas. I just tell them that they can come babysit for an > afternoon without meds, and then they get to comment. My " baby " is 9 > 1/2 and already like 4 ft 6 and 82 lbs! He can get agressive and I > need him to have the assistance with the impulse control and for the > ADD that goes with his autism. Sometimes people just speak before > they think, and I just shake my head at them. > > > > > > Ugh, I hear that ALL the time about my two kids who have > > asperger's...They LOOK fine. It's just makes me cringe and have > > bite my tongue. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 26, 2007 Report Share Posted June 26, 2007 I'm with you -- while I'd love a 'cure,' so to speak, because there are so many kids out there so severe, kids that will never speak, never hug mom, etc., I also don't want to remove my son's uniqueness that is 'him.' For us, we want to help him learn how to cope, get along, and be happy. The rest doesn't matter -- but for those of us with 'higher functioning' kids, it's sort of different. kellystar734 wrote: > Personally, while curing my sons autism would be great, it is part >of who he is. Am I the only one who is worried taking about the >quirky part of him would change him?>>>>> Nope I feel the same way as if they cured my son then it take away part of who he is. My son also has said that he doesn't see why they want to cure it since he likes the way he is. Marj Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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