Newly Diagnosed

[Guest guest]

I have a 12 yr old son who has had severe emotional/behavioral

problems his entire life. He's been pegged w/ADHD, PTSD, severe

depression(who wouldn't be?), among others. From 10 - 12 years of

age he lived in a group home that seemed only to make it worse. (I

understand now in light of the Aspergers diagnoses because they were

coming from a typical behavioral problem perspective.) They'd

reached their limits with him and relocated him to a therapuetic

foster home where he stayed for 6mo. until she could take it no

longer and he was sent home due to a lack of other available

placement. I am a single mom and also have a 7yr old son. Since my

oldest son's return, everyone's life has crumbled. I am in $3000

debt, when I was ahead, I cannot take my eyes off my son and so

cannot cook dinner, keep up on housework, help my youger son, get us

to bed on time. All forms of routine (which is so important here)

have been shot out the window. We fight, scream, cry - there is no

happiness in this family. I've been turned into social services 2x

since his return in mid-March because people misunderstand the

situation and assume due to his behaviors that he must be neglected

and/or abused. My younger son's teacher has called and writes daily

that he's sleeping in class, is sad, is 'acting up' and his grades

are dropping.

I am at a loss! We have a school mentor but I need help at home! I

found an aspergers specialist but he's across state lines and doesn't

know what resources are available in north carolina. We've dealt

over the years with the local mental health and am currently with a

different agency - none of which has been helpful, except for the

school mentor. No on is familiar with aspergers and no one can offer

any direction. Meanwhile, my son's behaviors and depression deepen.

Two nights ago he had his little brother suck his neck 'to show him

what would happen' and later got undressed 'because he was hot'. Our

situation has passed the red flag zone and still no help! No one

knows what to do. From experience, I can only expect the problems to

cont. to escalate. It's a vicious cycle I'm all too familiar with.

Sexual acting out is always resorted to when nothing else seems to

work for him. That is the one thing that always gets a reaction.

But the reactions are temp. band-aids, such as hospitalization and

relocation into just another inappropriate and unhelpful situation.

His true needs are not being understood or addressed, including by

me. I'm new to this, I've never heard of aspergers and I need some

serious education and training. I'm trying to read on it but after

working all day, getting home at 6p.m., fighting for hours trying to

take care of those evening chores (cook dinner, homework, bath,

etc.), I'm lucky if the kids are in bed by 10p.m. (bedtime is 8),

finally I open a book, read a sent. or 2 and pass out. Needless to

say, I haven't learned much.

I've rambeled enough. Please help direct me! My family is

crumbeling and falling apart. We are all so depression ridden, we

don't even care half the time, we are too exhausted and battered to

feel anymore.

Thanks for whatever help you may have to offer.