Re: Childproofing at Christmas

[Guest guest]

Why not decorate the tree down low so she can reach the ornaments and

decorate and redecorate the tree to her heart's content? She'll only

be 2-1/2 once. So you'll have a funny-looking Christmas tree. You'll

make her Christmas!

Liz

On Dec 3, 2006, at 6:06 PM, Inga wrote:

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

> We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last night

> Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

> play " decorate the tree " again.

>

> We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

> are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

> coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

> her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down again.

>

> Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

>

> Thanks,

>

> Inga

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

My daughter had to place a gate all around her tree from her 2 & 3 yr olds. The

kind that clicked together. Good luck,Betty

Inga <pingaa3@...> wrote:

Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

Christmas tree.

We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last night

Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

play " decorate the tree " again.

We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down again.

Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

Thanks,

Inga

---------------------------------

Everyone is raving about the all-new beta.

[Guest guest]

Why not go to the 1.00 store and buy some plain plastic ornaments and let

her chose one every day to put on the tree as a treat and she can put them

on the part of the tree you have not put anything on. Or let her put them

all on and once she goes to bed take them off and let her re put the same

ones on again as a treat.

See we let my 3yr old help us this year. He is very proud of where he put

the ornaments that he will walk by and look if they have moved ( like if

some has bumped the tree and it shifted) he will have to take it off and

look at it and put it back on and then he is all proud of himself all over

again.

Merry Christmas

On 12/3/06, Inga <pingaa3@...> wrote:

>

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

> We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last night

> Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

> play " decorate the tree " again.

>

> We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

> are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

> coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

> her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down again.

>

> Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

>

> Thanks,

>

> Inga

>

>

>

--

{ Trying to control children by yelling is as utterly futile as attempting

to steer a car by honking the horn.} {Be who you are and say what you feel,

because people who mind don't

matter and people who matter don't mind.}

[Guest guest]

Why not decorate the tree down low so she can reach the ornaments

That's what I was thinking too. You can still have the lights all

around the tree, just leave the ornaments low. And since, at that

age, kids don't always listen anyway, do go ahead and tell her *why*

you are doing this, that you can't have her climbing up on chairs,

etc., to get the higher ornaments; so the ornaments are only to be on

the lower part. Make it a rule.

Just a quick thought. I had to have the ornaments all up high one

year because the cats and even the dog were too interested in them!

Luckily the cats wouldn't jump for them!

[Guest guest]

I think that's a cute idea. If you let her redecorate everyday you could also

take pictures of each new way. I always worried about the tree. All 3 of mine

wanted to change them around to their tastes. They pretty much took turns. My 5

yo (watching for traits) is like that also. When he was 1 I caught him playing

with the trash can in the bathroom. I picked him up to take him out of the

bathroom and he threw an absolute fit until he wriggled out of my arms, walked

to the trash can, put it back where it went, then came back to me arms raised.

We always said he naturally follows that quote " A place for everything and

everything in it's place " !LOL! He would get so upset if something he put right

was changed and he would always change it back. Good luck with the tree!!!

Katymom <katymom4@...> wrote: Why not go to the 1.00

store and buy some plain plastic ornaments and let

her chose one every day to put on the tree as a treat and she can put them

on the part of the tree you have not put anything on. Or let her put them

all on and once she goes to bed take them off and let her re put the same

ones on again as a treat.

See we let my 3yr old help us this year. He is very proud of where he put

the ornaments that he will walk by and look if they have moved ( like if

some has bumped the tree and it shifted) he will have to take it off and

look at it and put it back on and then he is all proud of himself all over

again.

Merry Christmas

On 12/3/06, Inga <pingaa3@...> wrote:

>

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

> We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last night

> Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

> play " decorate the tree " again.

>

> We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

> are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

> coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

> her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down again.

>

> Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

>

> Thanks,

>

> Inga

>

>

>

--

{ Trying to control children by yelling is as utterly futile as attempting

to steer a car by honking the horn.} {Be who you are and say what you feel,

because people who mind don't

matter and people who matter don't mind.}

[Guest guest]

Buy her her own sized tree and let her decorate it with safe

oprnaments. We have a live tree some years, but the kids always get to

decorate a multicolor tinsel tree, just outside their bedrooms. TARGET

for $10 on clearance last year, usually $30.

-Ann

[Guest guest]

We had friends who had the same problem. Turned out their kids were

afraid of the vacuum cleaner. They ended up putting the tree in a

playpen with a vacuum set beside the two front corners. Looked strange,

but kept their twins from turning the tree over.

Tonya

( ) Childproofing at Christmas

Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

Christmas tree.

We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last night

Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

play " decorate the tree " again.

We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down again.

Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

Thanks,

Inga

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

pingaa3@... writes:

Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments???A

Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play with or let her

make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

[Guest guest]

I have a one year old and was worried about the same safety problems. I put the

tree next to the fireplace and maneuvered the fireplace safety gate around the

front of the tree. It was perfect. The baby cannot touch the tree but my two

older ones can. Here is a link to the gate I use. It has extra gate pieces not

shown in this photo:

http://pediatrics.about.com/od/safety/ss/childproofing_9.htm so there is enough

gate to go in front of a tree. It really looks nice too.

Re: ( ) Childproofing at Christmas

In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

pingaa3@... writes:

Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments???A

Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play with or let her

make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

[Guest guest]

When my oldest 2 kids were young we actually put the Christmas tree in the

playpen! They couldn't get to it and we didn't need as big of a tree

- C.

Mom to Cassie 15 PCOS, Austin 13 ADHD and a 3 HFA/AS & SPD/SID

Re: ( ) Childproofing at Christmas

In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

pingaa3@... writes:

Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments???A

Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play with or let her

make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

[Guest guest]

Train them young to decorate and leave alone look but don't touch. It

is very hard for them to understand they can touch their own tree but

not others. and this will help you when you go to others' houses that

put on their nice ornaments. Before we knew about our daughter's

autism, we just put lights on. Then as we learned more, we put on

non-breakable ornaments but have trained not to touch - so we could

leave the room and nothing broken or no one hurt. If it is always

look but don't touch you will be in a much better position as she gets

older. changing " rules " is where these kids get confused. In hind

sight i wish i had stuck to my guns earlier on. You can use words

like " decorating is all done " . Pecs may help kind of a do not touch

symbol - circle with a line across.

Hope this helps as it did us.

Regina

Adam, 8 aspergers, 6 autism, both high functioning

>

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

[Guest guest]

I put the tree last year behind a safety gate because my son was 1.

This year I put the tree in the living room and gave my 5 year old ASD

daughter the unbreakable ornaments to hang on the bottom. I told her

to wash her hands after touching the lights. So far if my son reaches

for the lights I remind him not to touch the lights. I let him touch

the ornaments.

>

> In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> pingaa3@... writes:

>

> Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments???A

>

> Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play with or

let her

> make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

The ironic thing is that she never touches the tree and grandmas

house, which of course my mom-in-law points out everyday...lol.

Yesterday she dragged out a chair from her room over to the tree to

reach the higher up ornaments while I was in the restroom. I

videotaped it when I came out.

I think I'll try using the " don't touch " card concept.

I agree about her not touching it and teaching her it applies to all

trees. I have started using the phrase " Look with your Eyes, NOT

with your hands " . Perhaps I can adapt that to a card. Hmmmm.

Thanks everyone!!!!!!!!!111

Inga

Lily's Mom

> >

> > In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> > pingaa3@ writes:

> >

> > Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments???A

> >

> > Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play with

or

> let her

> > make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

GREAT ADVICE!! And about the " don't touch " symbol OMG you gave me big time

memories

Of when my son was young and non verbal.. WOW that circle with the line

through it in red

Saved my life and his many many times. We had a HOT radiator in an old

house I was in..

Put the sign on.. Don't touch.. " no touch! And WOW

I kept them in my purse for years .. Laminated and tacked them on things as

I made my visits to friends

-- ( ) Re: Childproofing at Christmas

Train them young to decorate and leave alone look but don't touch. It

is very hard for them to understand they can touch their own tree but

not others. and this will help you when you go to others' houses that

put on their nice ornaments. Before we knew about our daughter's

autism, we just put lights on. Then as we learned more, we put on

non-breakable ornaments but have trained not to touch - so we could

leave the room and nothing broken or no one hurt. If it is always

look but don't touch you will be in a much better position as she gets

older. changing " rules " is where these kids get confused. In hind

sight i wish i had stuck to my guns earlier on. You can use words

like " decorating is all done " . Pecs may help kind of a do not touch

symbol - circle with a line across.

Hope this helps as it did us.

Regina

Adam, 8 aspergers, 6 autism, both high functioning

>

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

[Guest guest]

How about getting her a small table top tree for her very own (even

a fake one if she likes it, or just a small one from outside,

depending on where you live.)

Tell her this tree she can decorate and redecorate every day if she

wants to. She just might.

Just a thought. It worked for me

*hugs*

B

>

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a

holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

> We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last

night

> Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

> play " decorate the tree " again.

>

> We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

> are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

> coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

> her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down

again.

>

> Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

>

> Thanks,

>

> Inga

>

[Guest guest]

My thoughts are not that you focus on the Christmas tree as the antecedent to

the behavior but that you focus on your child's reasons for not following your

request to leave the Christmas tree alone. Life is about decisions. We all

make them everyday. We all know that eating a candy bar is not in our best

interest in the long term but the short term value of it often outweighs long

term concerns. If you want a child to decide not to play with the Christmas

tree (or ignore any other instructions you give him/her) you are going to have

to show your child that following your directions in all situations is more

valuable than the immediate reinforcement that not following your instructions

(playing with the tree) is offering.

This concept is called instructional control. I shared an article summarizing

how to go about earning instructional control with your child about a month ago.

It should still be in the archives of this site.

The thing to think about is not " How do I stop my child from playing with the

Christmas tree? " It should be " How do I get my child to begin making better

decisions based on the requests I give him/her? "

Obviously, putting the Christmas tree behind a gate or giving a small Christmas

tree to play with instead are useful suggestions to address the current

situation and I am by no means belittling their importance. However, I would

also like to point out that long-term you are going to need to find a way to

address your lack of instructional control with your child. The Christmas tree

is likely just one symptom of a larger instructional control problem. When

Christmas is over, how are you going to keep your child from rearranging the New

Year's, Decorations and the Easter decorations, a shiny new picture frame, your

husbands new favorite model car that your child should not touch etc. etc. etc.

Anyway for those interested in looking into more comprehensive ways to earn

instructional control with your child (the likelihood that your

instructions/requests will be heard and followed) I suggest you look into the 7

steps to instructional control I posted earlier as a way to get you started.

________________________

Schramm, MA, BCBA

www.lulu.com/knospe-aba

www.knospe-aba.com

________________________

Re: ( ) Childproofing at Christmas

The ironic thing is that she never touches the tree and grandmas

house, which of course my mom-in-law points out everyday...lol.

Yesterday she dragged out a chair from her room over to the tree to

reach the higher up ornaments while I was in the restroom. I

videotaped it when I came out.

I think I'll try using the " don't touch " card concept.

I agree about her not touching it and teaching her it applies to all

trees. I have started using the phrase " Look with your Eyes, NOT

with your hands " . Perhaps I can adapt that to a card. Hmmmm.

Thanks everyone!!!! !!!!!111

Inga

Lily's Mom

> >

> > In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard Time,

> > pingaa3@ writes:

> >

> > Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments??? A

> >

> > Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play with

or

> let her

> > make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

I agree with Liz. Put some wooden ornaments or non breakable plastic ones where

she can reach and let her have a nice time.

Roxanna

Re: ( ) Childproofing at Christmas

Why not decorate the tree down low so she can reach the ornaments and

decorate and redecorate the tree to her heart's content? She'll only

be 2-1/2 once. So you'll have a funny-looking Christmas tree. You'll

make her Christmas!

Liz

On Dec 3, 2006, at 6:06 PM, Inga wrote:

> Please help us! Not a seriously stressful question, just a holdiay

> one. This Christmas our daughter age 2 1/2 years old and newly

> diagnosed with high-functioning autism is very interested in the

> Christmas tree.

>

> We really wanted to have one, but after helping decorate last night

> Lily today keeps taking off the ornaments and wanting to

> play " decorate the tree " again.

>

> We, of course, used the non-breakable ornaments this year, so they

> are not too dangerous. We tried re-decorating up high so she

> coudln't reach the ornaments. But she then dragged a chair out of

> her room and over to the tree to reach them and take them down again.

>

> Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments????

>

> Thanks,

>

> Inga

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I think a gate is appropriate with a 2 or 3 year old child (AS or

NT). My 5 year old ASD daughter has the impulse control to stop

herself now. At 3-4 she did not. My mostly NT 2 year old looks at

the tree but does not touch it. Thankfully we put the gate away.

If my daughter was still touching the tree I would certainly put

some strategies in place. But as you said, it is not just about the

tree. We have been dealing with this behavior daily for years.

Anyways, my point is about expectations for the child's age,

adjusted for impulse control.

Jen

>

> > >

>

> > > In a message dated 12/3/2006 8:02:31 PM Eastern Standard

Time,

>

> > > pingaa3@ writes:

>

> > >

>

> > > Any ideas, other than no tree or no ornaments??? A

>

> > >

>

> > > Buy a table top or smaller artificial tree that she can play

with

>

> or

>

> > let her

>

> > > make her own (paper) ornaments to decorate it. Pam

>

> > >

>

> > >

>

> > >

[Guest guest]

We have a 1 yr old. (She has no ASD we are aware of, but her 11 yr old

brother does.) I think tree facination is something most kids have, and

not AS specific. For us, distractions have always work well. There are

no presents under the tree yet, so we put all of her favorite dolls,

stuffed animals, blocks, etc UNDER the tree unwrapped. Most days, her

attention is drawn to the things under the tree, rather than the tree

itself. At bedtime she helps put everything back under the tree for the

next day. This same strategy worked well for my 11 yr old with AS when

he was little.

We still have times of her pulling at the ornaments, but that is

usually her way of telling us she is tired or wants to be played with.

She clearly does it for attention rather than out of interest for the

ornaments.

I've also begun using it as a way to introduce " time-out " . If she goes

for an ornament, I see her and tell her " No " , and she does it anyway, I

put her on a pillow on the floor in " time-out " for 20-30 seconds,

explaining to her why she's there, and again when she gets up why she

was there. She's responded really well to it, and stays on the pillow

until I allow her up, and won't go back for the ornaments again for a

while (unless she's tired and wanting to go into her crib).

I remember with her brother (one with AS) a complete " why " was always

necessary. A simple " don't " or " don't because it's dangerous " was never

enough. I remember explaining to him at 2 that he was not allowed to

pull at the tree because ornaments could break and cut someone, lights

could break and catch fire, etc. It seemed I always had to give him

some possible doom and gloom scenario to keep him from doing things.

I'm not sure if this is healthy and seems like it would unnecessary

increase anxiety, but he always needed the worst possible scenarios for

everything before the " rules " sunk in.