New here - hi everyone

[Guest guest]

My name is and my almost three year old son (Ashton) was diagnosed

with PDD-NOS a few days ago. The psychologist said he is pretty sure that it

will actually be Asperger's, but since his language is delayed right now he

can't officially have a diagnosis of Asperger's. He doesn't fit PDD either

since his language is pretty good, so he's falling somewhere between the two.

We'll just wait and see what happens I guess. We're pretty stunned right now so

it'll take a while to figure things out anyway.

My husband and I also have a 5 year old daughter who has a rare chromosomal

abnormality, so we've been dealing with different issues for quite a while now.

It's actually pretty strange - the abnormality she has puts her at a high

risk of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder, but she doesn't have one. She has

Autistic tendencies, but no official diagnosis - not even PDD. The only reason

we even had our son evaluated for ASD is because we knew what to look for

because of my daughter's condition. So it's all related in some bizarre kind of

way, even though we know for sure that our son doesn't have our daughter's

condition.

We're feeling pretty overwhelmed and upset right now, but I'm guessing that's

pretty typical. We have two children, both with disabilities, and aren't

capable of having any more. We attempted in-vitro fertilization twice earlier

this year and were unsuccessful both times, and we can't conceive naturally

because I lost both fallopian tubes due to freak issues (I conceived both of my

children with only one fallopian tube, then lost it last year - it's a long

story). Now we're wondering if it was a blessing that the IVF wasn't successful

since our son's psychologist told us that we have a much higher than average

chance of having another child with an ASD since we already have one.

I know I gave TMI in my introduction, but I just have a few questions and am

hoping my background will help with the answers. First, how common is it for

families to have more than one child with an ASD? Is there anyone out there

who has attempted IVF after having one child with an ASD? Were you counseled

against it by your psychologist/doctor/geneticist/anyone official?

Also, I need help! I love my children more than I thought it was possible to

love anyone, and I am so glad I have them. But I am feeling so overwhelmed!

I have no patience and feel like I spend so much time upset with them. I'll

focus on my son's issues since this is an ASD support group. He has tantrums

ALL THE TIME - he will scream and scream and scream and they can last an hour

or more. He is also so stubborn. If he doesn't want to do something, he

simply won't do it. He will also come up and talk to me - he'll babble for

minutes on end, and I have no idea what he's trying to say to me. He gets so

frustrated and so do I. He wants me to understand, but I just don't know what

he's

saying. He is starting preschool in about a week and a half, but his

preschool teacher doesn't know about his diagnosis yet so I may have to contact

the

district to see if a different placement would be better for him (he was

diagnosed after his preschool teacher was assigned).

Also - is anyone out there from Utah? Are there any resources out there

besides preschool? We're not new to the IEP process since our daughter has one,

and my son's IEP is in a couple weeks. I'd like to know if there are any

typical accommodations for ASD kids and what specific things I should ask for.

I

feel very unprepared for this IEP since I know so little about his diagnosis,

so I plan to read a lot in the next little while. Are there any books out

there that are more helpful than others? Are there any to stay away from? I've

heard Tony Attwood's book is pretty good - is this true?

Done with my super long letter. Thanks for the vent and thanks for reading

if you got this far! If anyone has any suggestions or help, I'd love them!